Mack's Progress Ch. 06

"Billie, I can't see that there is anything to talk out. And Lindsey can go out with whoever she likes. I don't give a monkey's."

"You really are a piss poor liar, Mack. You're dancing with me, remember? You lost all coordination when you said that. If I hadn't been nimble on my feet, you'd have stamped all over them."

Possibly Billie was telling the truth. I was aware that our feet had collided.

"Don't be silly. I'm just a little worn out, that's all. It is the middle of our busy season. I've been worked off my feet for weeks."

"Have it your way, Mack, but I don't believe you!"

Millie seemed to arrive beside us as the band took a break, and I used the opportunity to slip away from the terrible two. That was a nickname that I was to give the pair of them not long after, and they still share to this day.

I think I was talking to my father a little while later when I caught sight of Lindsey and the new fella she was with out on the dance floor; it was a slow number and they were holding each other pretty tight.

Did it bother me? Well, I told myself it didn't. Then Billie and Millie, dancing with their respective husbands and sharing a big joke about something, took my attention. During the number they changed partners and apparently exchanged quick kisses with their new partner before switching back again.

When they passed by near where I was standing both girls waved at me and blew me kisses as well. Whatever my facial expression was this time, it caused all four of them to break out in laughter. I figured I was probably the butt of one of the girl's joke.

The next half hour or so was spent explaining to relatives where I'd been for the last couple of years and it was beginning to wear me down again; so as subtly as I could, I made my way towards one of the exits, heading for the residents bar again. I was almost at the door when who should sweep into view on the crowded dance floor just for a moment but Millie. The thing that took me completely by surprise was that she was dancing with Conway.

This was such a shock for me to see that I stopped in the foyer to replay the scene in my mind and convince myself that I hadn't been mistaken. While I was standing there the music stopped, so I went to the other door into the function room arriving there just in time to see Millie sitting down beside the woman who I assumed was Mrs Conway. It could be no one else; her two children were sitting with her.

Realising that if I stood there much longer, someone -- especially Lindsey and her fella -- might spot me watching when they returned to the table, I headed into the residents' bar for a drink and found my old table in the corner still empty. I slipped into my seat and the barman arrived with my Rum and Coke with a couple of ice cubs floating in it; I'd organised my drinks order with him early. When the rum was gone he placed a pint in front of me. I looked up at him.

"I think you've had enough of the hard stuff, Mack. It's not even ten yet!" He smiled down at me.

I just nodded in return. How many times had I noticed that a customer was hitting it a bit on the hard side? Having realised that the barman was telling the truth, I sat there and nursed my pint. I was trying to figure out where my life was going now. In a few weeks Michelle would be leaving for her Uni course down in Southampton. The pub would get quiet as it always did in the winter, George, Bev and Patricia with John and Millie's help could run the place quite happily. I was wondering what I should do.

'Maybe,' I thought, 'I could go down to Southampton and find a job in a pub down that way. I could see Michelle... but no, Michelle and I were 'friends with benefits', as she had so aptly put it. There was no real chemistry between us; by being around I would cramp her style.' Oh, shit, you know what I mean.

Where the idea of backpacking came into my head from, god alone knows. But suddenly I was thinking of ditching the old car and hitchhiking around Europe, or to be precise southern Europe, probably a bit warmer down there. I might even stray into North Africa, you know Morocco and those kinds of places. To be honest I was totally lost in my thoughts when I became aware of a voice saying.

"...Mack, isn't it? May I join you for a few minutes?"

I looked up to see Conway's wife standing there. A quick scan of the room and I noticed Conway standing by the bar watching.

I don't think I answered the lady; I believe that I just gestured with my hands by removing them from the pint glass that I was holding onto as if it would run away on its own.

"Thank you!" she said, as she sat on the seat opposite me and placed her glass on the table.

"I'm sorry," she said, then took a sip from her drink. "I've met your friend Millie this evening and I'm afraid that you were the subject of our conversation. Well, you and Lindsey."

I think it was the fact the she said Lindsey that made me look into her eyes. It appeared that everyone was calling her Lynn now. So this woman saying Lindsey was telling me that she'd known her for sometime; well, that's what my mind made of it.

"Millie tells me that you are under the impression that my husband and Lindsey were having an affair. I'm here to tell you that that is untrue. Conway was having an affair with a girl in his office, but it was not Lindsey. I'd known Lindsey since she first moved up to town and I'd trust her with my children's lives."

I think I mumbled something here but I can't recall what was; probably something like "more fool you then." Something on those lines anyway. But Conway's wife couldn't make out what I'd said.

"Sorry?" she asked.

"It's of no importance," I replied.

"Anyway, Lindsey challenged Conway about his affair and made him confess it to me. I'm afraid I didn't take it quietly and threw Conway out. Poor Lindsey, the silly girl, blamed herself for our marriage breaking up and, well, eventually when I'd calmed down she persuaded me to take Conway back."

I don't know what made me look round at Conway, who was sitting on a stool at the bar by then, watching us intently. I couldn't read the expression on his face though.

"Conway would like the opportunity to apologise to you," his wife was saying.

"What for?"

"Well, you know he's quite attached to Lindsey, almost treats her like a little sister. You must understand that it was the influence she has over him that made him confess his affair to me. Well, since you and Lindsey broke up he held it against you. Apparently he insulted Millie and you at that public house you both work in. Conway has apologised to Millie and he'd like to do the same to you, if you'll let him."

"I can't see that there's much point, because I shall be leaving the country in a few weeks so it's doubtful we'll ever run into each other again," I replied.

I have no idea why I expressed my tentative plans to Conway's wife. Perhaps it was another of the knee-jerk reactions that seemed to govern my life. Whatever, it took her completely off guard; I could see the look of surprise in her face.

"Oh, we weren't aware of your plans. No one mentioned them," she said after regaining her composure a couple of seconds later. "But really, Mack, for everyone's sake, please let Conway apologise to you! It will let his conscience rest if nothing else; I know he feels awkward when your name crops up when we are with Brian and Stephanie."

I told her that if Conway wanted to apologise then let him. It really made no difference to me. She nodded in Conway's direction and he came over and said his piece. He started saying something about being annoyed about the way I'd walked out on Lindsey, but his wife stopped him, reminding him the Lindsey had asked him to stay out of her problems. So he dropped it and apologised for any insinuation or disparaging remarks he'd made about Mille and myself, then said something about not bearing any grudges. I showed my dislike of the man, by not rising to my feet to shake his hand. We did shake hands but in the sitting position. After a somewhat awkward and embarrassing few minutes, Conway and his wife left me in peace.

It didn't take me long to discover I'd put my foot in my mouth by telling Conway's wife about my idea of going backpacking though. Julia was the first one to grab me when I decided to show my face for a short while in the function room on my way back from the gents.

"What's this I hear about you leaving the country?" she demanded.

"I'm thinking of spending the winter in Europe," I told her, trying to make it sound like a normal everyday thing to do.

"Well, what about us?" she demanded.

"Well, if you want to tag along, there's nothing I can do to stop you!" I was quite proud of that comeback. But it was wasted on Julia.

"I mean when did you intend to let the family in on this little jaunt of yours?"

"Julia, I've only just thought of the idea. I haven't worked out the logistics or anything yet. The pub gets quiet during the winter and I just thought hitchhiking around Europe would be fun."

"But what about Michelle?"

"What the hell has Michelle got to do with anything; she'll be at university anyway. Not that her being anywhere would make any difference to my mind," I lied.

If Michelle had been staying at the pub, I doubt I would have thought of going anywhere else for the winter. As I've said there was no real romance between Michelle and me but we had some bloody good fun in bed. I suppose more than one relationship has survived on less.

Julia had an exasperated look on her face. For a moment she looked like she was going to say something further, then she turned and stomped away.

Two more relatives collared me in the next few minutes asking about my proposed backpacking trip. I managed to fob them off by explaining that it was still in the planning stage and retreated out of the function room and headed for the residents' bar again. But as I got close to the door, I spotted Millie and Billie in there talking to the barman. Just from his body language it was apparent they were asking if he knew where I was. I saw him point to the table I'd been using.

I'd also noticed that both girls looked agitated about something and I had the nastiest feeling that they also had heard the news about my trip, and they planned to lay into me.

'Bugger this,' I thought 'I'm going for a walk until the smoke clears.' And left the hotel by the front door.

I knew the area the hotel was in pretty well and strolled around the locality for half an hour or so. It was as I was walking towards the hotel's car park on my way back that I noted two people come out the front door of the hotel; one obviously following the other. The girl was Lindsey and I knew immediately that the guy was Conway. Lindsey was striding along and Conway was calling after her; she didn't stop so he sprinted a few yards, caught up with her and grabbed her arm making her swing around to face him.

Staying in the shadows I continued closing the gap between us. I think I was planning on passing the other side of a few parked cars hoping they wouldn't see me.

"There's nothing you can do. I can't understand why you just don't get on with your life. It's obvious that he doesn't give a monkey's about you or how you feel about him," I heard Conway saying as I got closer.

"But I love him, Conway, I just don't know what I did to drive him away," Lindsey replied.

They turned a little then, Lindsey was pacing backwards and forwards with Conway keeping pace with her. Even though I was a lot closer I couldn't hear what they said while they were turned away from me.

"He loved me, I know he did!" was the next thing I caught from Lindsey.

"You've got to face it, girl. Any man who walks away from a woman because she won't sleep with him before they are married isn't worth all the heartache you're putting yourself through."

"But if that is the reason he left me, as you are so convinced it was, why did he stay with me for that year? And why was Millie so convinced that I was sleeping with you? She didn't know either of us. Why would she think that we were sleeping together?"

"Did she tell you that?" Conway asked.

"Yes, she told me earlier this evening."

"Oh, shit!" Conway literally shouted. "Damn it, if Mack thought that, then I bet I know what his bloody problem is."

Lindsey had suddenly stopped walking and had she been looking to her front she would have seen me standing there less than twenty feet away. But she was looking at Conway.

"Oh, bugger, how the hell are we going to get around this one?" Conway was saying to himself, I think. Lindsey was standing there staring at him and waiting.

Now Conway began pacing. "Yeah, now I can understand why Mack went off the deep end. I think I would have done the same if I thought my girl had done the same to me."

"Done what?" Lindsey asked him.

"Lindsey, think about it. What reason did you give Mack for not sleeping with him?"

"You know I told you a long time ago, I promised my mother I'd be a virgin on my wedding night."

"And now we find out that Mack for some reason is convinced that you and I were sleeping together."

"So?"

"Christ, Lynn, if Mack thought you were sleeping with someone else whilst denying him, it wouldn't do much for his damned ego, would it? He'd have to re-evaluate his feelings for you and the feelings you claimed to have for hi...m." The end of Conway's sentence dragged to a close. "Oh, shit! Angela!"

"Angela? What's Angela got to do with Mack?"

I could remember Angela; she was one of the girls who'd always been at those parties Lindsey used to take me.

"When Angela and I were... you know."

"Having your affair!" Lindsey said with a cold tone to her voice.

"Yeah, well, when we first got together, she had that boyfriend - I can't remember his name."

"Neither can I!"

"It's not important, but what is, is that she strung him along for a long time just to keep anyone from suspecting that she and I were..."

"Oh, god!" Lindsey said, "You don't think Mack thought that...?"

"Can you think of a better reason for him to just piss-off like that?"

"But why didn't he speak me, say something?"

"Oh, yeah, I can see him doing that! Think about it, Lindsey. I don't know why, but Mack gets it into his head that you are having sex with me and refusing to have sex with him. Shit, just him thinking about you having sex with me would be enough reason for him to dump you. But if he thought that you were using him as cover, like Angela did that guy of hers... only I think she was shagging that guy. Anyway I doubt it did Mack's ego any good at all. If he's convinced that you've been lying to him, he's hardly going to think there's much point in discussing it with you, is he?"

"So he just goes off without a word."

"Oh, from what Brian told me there were a few words bandied about at home. They thought he'd dumped you because you wouldn't have sex with him, remember? Poor sod was between a rock and a hard place, if you ask me!"

"But why would he think I was having sex with anyone? I've been asking myself that question ever since he dumped me. You know I've never... don't you?"

"Well, you tell me that you haven't and I've no reason to believe that you're lying Lynn. But for some reason Mack does."

"I don't understand why," Lindsey said, and then burst into tears. Conway put his arms around her and I will say it was plainly a brotherly embrace. Slowly he began to lead Lindsey back towards the building.

I stood there beside a tree, watching them go.

"Discovered what you needed to know?" a voice asked from out of the shadows on the other side of the tree.

I turned to my right and saw Conway's wife emerging from a deeper shadow than I had hid myself in.

"Oh, I saw Conway going outside, but I didn't realise he was following Lindsey. I trust Lindsey, but I don't completely trust Conway yet. I came out by the side door. When I saw he was with her I was about to go back inside when I noticed you standing there in the shadows."

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop. They were just between me and the door."

"Yeah I know, but what are your feelings about what you heard, and why are you so convinced that Lindsey was sleeping with someone else in the first place? She tells me that she's a virgin and I believe her. Why don't you?"

"She wasn't home one day when I called to see her. It was something I found in her flat." I have no idea why I said that to Conway's wife.

"Something you found in her flat that would lead you to believe that Lindsey was in a sexual relationship with someone. Specifically a man I assume?"

"Yes."

"I've known Lindsey a long time, Mack, and I've got a good idea what you found. You discovered she's taking the birth control pills, am I right?"

I didn't answer her.

"I am right!" she said with a strangely happy tone in her voice. "Mack, women don't only take the pill for its birth control properties. Yeah, that's what it was invented for, but doctors also prescribe it to some women who have irregular cycles. You know that it's called the curse, don't you? Some women have a real bad time of it. Their periods don't come like clockwork and when they do have one ... well, they can feel bloody rotten. The longer between periods the more ratty they can get just before them as well. You've heard of PMT, haven't you? Christ, most guys crack jokes about it when their wives and girlfriends are feeling ratty when they've got a touch of the PMT's."

"Yeah, I think I have. Millie said something about it once," I told her.

"Well, I can tell you that when Lindsey was in college she was having a hell of a time. She was a late developer, you know and ... well, she nearly flunked out of college until Vera - she was one of Lindsey's teachers and a friend of mine when I was in college - anyway Vera suggested that Lindsey go to a female doctor about her problems with her periods. She put Lindsey onto the pill and her troubles were almost over."

"Almost?"

"Yeah, some silly sod found her pills and assumed she was getting laid by half the guys in the country. Mack, Lindsey's a virgin, take my word for it!"

Now, to most folks that revelation of Conway's wife would have been enough to make them dash back into the hotel, find Lindsey and beg her forgiveness for mistrusting her. Regretfully when you've based the last couple of years of your life on one premise, it isn't that easy to change horses. But Mrs Conway could see that I was wavering, we stood there talking for god knows how long. Me relating my concerns and her shooting them down one after the other. The fact that she had been cheated on and had some idea how I felt when I first got suspicious seemed to help us.

"Now you're really stumped, aren't you?" she finally said. "I'll tell you what; you come with me. I'll find Lindsey and explain what happened and, well, we'll see what develops from there, shall we?"

"I'm not..."

"Come on, we'll go in by the side door. No one will see us. There's a library just inside that door; I doubt anyone will be in there at this time of night so you and Lindsey can talk in there."

I somewhat sheepishly followed her back into the hotel by the side door.

"You wait in there and I'll go find Lindsey," she said, pointing at a nearby door and then disappearing down the corridor.

I opened the door slowly; I'm not sure why, probably just in case the room was occupied and someone was reading in there. Doubtful at that time of night, but not an impossibility.

The room was lit by a single table lamp, or reading lamp, I didn't get a close enough look to identify which. And I discovered that it was occupied as well; there was a young man down on one knee in front of one of the Chesterfields. He was holding something out in his hand to a young woman who was sitting on the Chesterfield. I saw the lamplight reflected in the diamonds facets. The young woman? She had long dark hair and was wearing a red dress; she had one hand up as if to take the ring from the young man's hand.