Made to Obey Ch. 02

Reprise: I had been watching shemale porn when alone in my Sister-in-law's house. Tempted into wearing some of her underwear whilst masturbating, my wife (Ruth), sister-in-law (Esther) and their mother (Donna) came home much earlier than expected and caught me in the act.

*

I scampered up the stairs, still dressed in the suspender-belt, stockings and panties that I'd been wearing when the women came home unexpectedly. In one hand I held my dressing-gown, t-shirt and boxer shorts that I'd been wearing when I came down for breakfast earlier that day and in the other I had the pink panties I'd been caught sniffing and the come-laden tissues I'd ejaculated into at the moment of my disgrace.

I rushed to the bathroom and flushed the tissues down the lavatory and then, after taking Esther's underwear off, ran some hot, soapy water into the sink and tried to dab off any come stains that I could see. All the while I was cursing myself for being so stupid, so careless. What I had done? Apart from humiliating myself, I'd also humiliated Ruth - the shame of her husband being seen by her sister and mother jerking-off to shemale porn wearing women's underwear! Esther had the extra horror of feeling that somehow, her most private and intimate world had been invaded by the sad pervert she'd just seen.

I turned the shower on and anguished over what to do next; was there anything I could do to mitigate the shame and disgrace I'd brought upon myself? Would they tell Max and would that jeopardise the business partnership Ruth and I had signed up to yesterday in such happy circumstances?

As the warm, fast water drizzled over my well-muscled, fit athletic frame, I became appalled at what had come over me - wanting to dress up like that. Slowly, I came around to thinking that it would be better to face the women's wrath sooner rather than later; to grasp the nettle. I was trying to figure out what was the best way to explain my shocking behaviour and to plead for forgiveness; that it was a one-off, an aberration that wasn't the real me. But however I fashioned the sentences in my mind, nothing seemed to carry any convincing excuse. I knew I was at their mercy.

After maybe eight minutes in the shower, I turned it off, dried myself and took a deep breath as I changed into my normal clothes in readiness to face the three women. I lumped the discarded lingerie in a pile that I left in the bath; I'd have to figure out what to do with them later. Right now, I just wanted to get my confession and shameful apologies out of the way.

When I entered the living room all three women looked up at me as though surprised that I'd dared to show my face so soon after my abject exposure. Before any of them could speak, I fired off my opening line.

"Look, Esther, Ruth - I'm sorry, really sorry. I don't know what came over me. Please forgive me... I don't know what else I can say; it must have been awful for you to witness that."

There was a longer than expected silence, as though they couldn't work out what to say first. Finally, Donna - to my annoyance - decided not to talk directly to me but to address her comment to her daughters.

"I hope he's going to wash those clothes of yours Esther; I'm sure he - you know - "leaked" over them."

"Look, I understand if you don't want them now. Let me give you the money to buy some new stuff," I offered.

Finally, Ruth, who was sitting on the settee dabbing the tears from her eyes as Esther tried to comfort her looked up at me.

"But you swore blind to me before we married that you didn't have any..." She searched for the word.

"Pansy tendencies?" Donna interjected.

(How that woman was beginning to annoy me. As though I wasn't in a bad enough corner as it was without her childish, mocking interjections. But I held my tongue; I was in no position to adopt anything but a passive, apologetic tone.)

"...fetishes or fantasies." Ruth added. "Don't you remember? I gave you every chance to be honest and upfront about things. I'd have tried to accommodate your fantasies but you swore you were a straight, honest heterosexual man, didn't you?"

"I know love, I know," I earnestly pleaded. "And I was honest with you. Back then I just had no idea that I'd..." I choked, almost too embarrassed to find the necessary phrase, but I had to somehow find the words to explain the disgraceful act they'd just witnessed.

"That I'd experiment with crossdressing," I blushed. "I just let my curiosity get the better of me. That's the truth, honest love. Today was the first time I've ever done anything like that, I swear."

"Does he have lots of that stuff - you know - sissy porn stuff on his computer?" Donna decided to interrupt.

Esther, who up until now had been hugging her sister gently to comfort her and had remained silent now looked up at me and glared.

"I've got your PC now Carl and I've agreed with Ruth to keep it for a few days and check your internet usage, okay? And I want all your passwords too. I can get access without them, but it'll just make it quicker if you write them down for me now."

I nodded in agreement. It wouldn't have done any good to disagree. I held no bargaining chips whatsoever.

"That's fine Esther. Of course."

I then addressed Ruth. "And I swear on my life that, apart from today, there will be no other, other..."

"Men-in-panties cross-dressing sites?" Donna interrupted with a malicious grin.

I ignored her.

"There won't be anything like the sites I visited today. Honestly. I swear. Today was genuinely the first time I'd ever looked at such stuff."

Esther stood up, patting Ruth gently on the shoulder as she did so, before heading to the kitchen.

"I'll go and make us all a nice cup-of-tea, and maybe we should all calm down a little."

I took the opportunity to sit down on the nearest chair, it made me feel less like the naughty schoolboy being made to stand in front of the headteacher awaiting punishment.

I noticed Donna giving me a stern glance, one filled with contempt, a contempt which deep-down I knew was well deserved.

Ruth, who had by now managed to stem the tears, spoke next.

"Don't think you've been able to hide any sites you've visited with using "private" windows, or deleting history or messing around with VPN or suchlike. Esther's in the IT security business, she'll find out if you're lying to me. You better not be lying."

This was true, Esther would uncover any visits I'd made to sites that would undermine my claim, but what I'd said was true, today was my first ever look into the world of ladyboys and the like. When Esther had done her investigation of my laptop and confirmed this, Ruth would see I'd been honest; that I had been telling the truth about my having no fetishes to tell her about before we married. And it gave me my first glimmer of hope that, in due course, I could get my marriage back on course and put this whole shameful day behind me. I just had to live through the discomfort and humiliation of the next few days and then hope that Ruth's anger would diminish over time.

"And hand over your mobile phone too, give it to me now. She can look at what you've been up to on there as well. Come on, hand it over," Ruth demanded in a tone that brooked no argument.

I did as I was told and sheepishly got up from my seat and fished the device out of my pocket and stretched out my hand to her. She quickly snatched it off me.

"What's the security code?" she asked.

I told it her, I hoped she'd recognise it as the numerical format of her birthday and be touched by that, but she showed no flicker of emotion.

"Esther's already changed the logon to your PC, so you won't be able to use it again until I decide to let you know what that is."

Ruth had powered on my phone and by now she was ready to enter the code I'd given her. I could see her selecting various apps on the device, probably looking at the gallery to see if there were any incriminating pictures saved on it. I knew there wasn't so at least on that front I could relax.

Donna though had other ideas, she clearly wanted me to feel as uncomfortable as possible.

"Are there any pictures of him wearing knickers on there Ruth?" she trilled.

Ruth shook her head, by now having scanned what few pictures I kept on it - and they were mostly of her. Another factor that might help mollify her anger.

"How about apps then?" Donna continued.

"How do you mean mother?"

"Well, maybe he uses some sort of app or whatever they're called to visit sites for - you know -men who like dressing in lady's underwear."

I shook my head and raised my eyebrows slightly whilst emitting a tut that both women must have heard.

That woman! Just then I felt like telling her to fuck right off and stop stirring - but I was in no position to lose my temper with her. She was, if my memory was correct, in possession of pictures on her phone of me jerking off whilst wearing Esther's panties, maybe even of me sniffing that pink pair too. How dreadful it would be if she decided to show anyone those. I had to be very careful not to antagonise her.

"Look," I started in the most earnest voice I could muster, "you've every right to be suspicious. I understand that, but I swear there's nothing of that nature on my phone - in fact there's nothing whatsoever of anything on there or my laptop that I'd want to keep a secret from anyone."

Ruth switched the phone off and put it on a nearby coffee table.

"Well, I hope you're right, I'll leave Esther to check that though. You had better be telling the truth. My trust in you is pretty well totally shattered as it is."

Just then Esther re-entered the room carrying a tray with the teas.

"Is that his phone?" she enquired. Ruth nodded in confirmation.

"Right. Leave it with me. Might take me a few days though - I have to go away on business for a couple of days next week."

There was little conversation made as we had our drinks and I made a note of all the passwords Esther might need for my emails and other sites I used, passing them sheepishly to her when I'd done. At least Donna had refrained from coming out with any more of her spikey, annoying, unhelpful and embarrassing questions.

In spite of the awkward atmosphere that pervaded as we sipped our tea, I couldn't help but notice that Donna, who was sitting in a chair some feet opposite from me, was resting her feet on a foot stool. This had the effect of making the black dress she was wearing - which was a little on the short side anyway - slip a little bit further up her legs and, if I wanted to, I could gain a furtive look down her thighs and perhaps view her crotch to see if she was wearing stockings and not tights. Donna seemed unaware of her exposure as she was, to my huge relief, agreeing with her daughters that they would not tell Max about my activities. Not because they weren't shocked and appalled or furious with me but because we'd already signed the documents that committed us all to proceeding as a partnership in Max's last big project. To try and unravel that now by removing me from the deal and redrafting it would be too expensive and might possibly delay things and, in the process upset Max too much, jeopardising his already deteriorating health.

Now Donna has the long legs of a model and for a woman in her fifties could turn many an eye - especially when in high-heels. I admit that, ordinarily I'd have tried look up her skirt if I thought it would go unnoticed, but in the circumstances that I found myself in, I didn't dare risk it. It also occurred to me that, perhaps, just perhaps, she knew she was exposing quite a bit of leg and was waiting for the moment when I weakened and took a surreptitious glance and then she could shoot me down for trying to look up her dress; that I was a peeping-tom. What would Ruth say then?

So, I made a point of not looking towards her but instead looking at her daughters as they mulled over the debris of the day.

"I'm really sorry Esther," Ruth was saying. "I'd no idea whatsoever Carl would do such a thing. I'm furious with him, he's shamed me too not just himself."

"Okay sis," Esther responded in a surprisingly measured tone considering it was her whose intimate, private things had been invaded by me; considering she was supposed to be a woman who'd eat any man that crossed her for breakfast. "Just go home and see how things feel tomorrow or in a day or two."

Ruth shot me a stern glance as she responded to her older sister's advice, as though daring me to object to what she was about to say.

"But I'll have to punish him, he can't think he can get away with what he did and get off scot-free."

I didn't say anything; she was of course right.

"How do you plan to punish him dear? You're quite right though, he does need punishing, even if it was "just a one-off" like he swears it is?" Donna piped up.

I never turned to look at her, I didn't want to risk even accidentally catching sight of her inner thighs and her suggesting I had been trying to see what knickers she was wearing.

"Let me think it over and I'll WhatsApp you both to see what you think, okay?" proffered Ruth. They both nodded in agreement.

The journey home that afternoon was spent largely in silence. Ruth insisted I take the underwear that I'd taken from Esther home with us. She was going to make me hand-wash the lot and, if Esther wanted it back, return it to her. So, I put the items in with our luggage and silently cursed myself for having been so stupid, and yes, so easily turned on by wearing panties and stockings.

Once home and unpacked, I offered to make Ruth something to eat but she declined my offer. She told me she had a headache and was going to bed early and that I could make up my own bed in one of our spare bedrooms. I expected that at the very least.

"Oh," she added before heading for bed, "I'm keeping Esther's clothes in with me tonight; don't want you putting them on again and jacking off!"

I hardly slept that night and the next day very few words were said between us, Ruth spending quite some time communicating via WhatsApp with, I guess, her mum and sister. She allowed me to make her meals and drinks but maintained a frosty air. It was, to say the least, uncomfortable, but I consoled myself that at least I'd done the right thing and confronted the three women as soon after I'd got washed and dressed as I could, rather than hide away and delay facing the music. Also, they'd agreed not to tell Max, not to scupper the potential big profit-making scheme we'd all been celebrating the previous evening.

It even crossed my mind that, after having to endure maybe a week or so of being ignored by Ruth, she gradually, ever-so-slowly, would put my cross-dressing episode behind her, especially when Esther confirmed that there was no evidence on my laptop or phone to suggest I'd shown any similar tendency before that fateful day; that it was a "one-off", an aberration.

Maybe - I hoped deep-down - now that Ruth had seen me so turned-on by wearing lingerie, she'd encourage me to wear it when our sex life got back on track. I mean she had lesbian tendencies and it might somehow excite those feelings in her if the person making love to her was more like a woman - but with a penis of course. Dare I even hope that - apart from Donna and Esther's knowledge of my shame - it might actually pay dividends in the long run being caught out like that?

I went to bed early that night, there seemed little point the two of us sharing the same room when Ruth could hardly bring herself to say a civil word to me. I did wonder though how things would play out tomorrow, Monday, when we both had to return to work. You see Ruth's business had its office on the top floor of a three story office block in the centre of town and, although she only employed two other people, she'd managed to rent a large office place for a peppercorn rent, not least because her father had been a part of the development company that built and owned the place.

Her company's premises had a reception room beyond which were four offices, the largest was Ruth's, obviously. Penny her assistant and Marsha the secretary both occupied one each. That still left one over, so we agreed that I could run my business from the otherwise unused office in there. It had worked well, we only needed the one car to get us to work and, as we were both in town together, we could nip in to town for a coffee and snack together when work allowed. It's not like we were both under each other's feet though as we were both out of the office on business quite a lot and, even when we were both in, just got on with our respective business without mithering each other.

I got on well with both Penny and Marsha who, apart from sometimes collecting my mail and taking messages for me when I was out, didn't have to perform any other work that wasn't for Ruth's marketing firm. I did all my own typing and made sure whatever expenses were down to my business (postage, internet connection etc.) were kept on my business's books.

Penny was about 24 and had been working for Ruth since she'd left university. A bit frumpy with brown hair tied back in a pony-tail, she was an average looker who, I noticed, had a tendency to wear quite heavy denier tights. Pleasant and helpful though and she loved her work being, according to Ruth, both hardworking and reliable.

Marsha was in her mid-forties, about my height and always smartly dressed. Better looking than Penny, she was a mother of two, both now at University, and, like Penny, she was well thought of by Ruth.

Having washed, shaved and dressed in my business suit I gingerly made my way downstairs that Monday to see what kind of greeting I would get from Ruth. To my surprise, she smiled, said good morning and poured me a coffee. She wasn't dressed for work though, wearing instead just a white cotton top that hugged her pert tits and dark blue shorts, giving ample sight of her well-sculpted legs. She looked so tasty that I inwardly cursed myself again for spoiling my chance of making love to her the other night because of my cross-dressing "incident".

"Not going to work today love?" I ventured as I took my coffee.

Ruth smiled and for the first time since she'd caught me in her sister's panties looked at me without the fiery anger and contempt I'd expected.

"Carl, just shut up and hear me out okay?"

I nodded.

"I spent a lot of last night on WhatsApp with mum and Esther. This really is a bit of a mess, you know, you defiling Esther's underwear and we all seeing you jacking your tool off like some pervert."

All I could do was nod in agreement and mumble sorry.

"But, maybe, just maybe we can put this all behind us. That's assuming of course that you were telling the truth about it being a sort of curious, one-off event."

"It was love; I swear. It really was," I interjected in the most passionate and sincere tone. "There's nothing sordid or smutty on my devices, nothing like what I was doing on Saturday."

"Well I hope you're right and, assuming that you are, that still doesn't mean you should think you've got away with this..." She wrestled for the appropriate words, "disgusting behaviour. You must accept you deserve some punishment for it. Don't you agree?"

"Yes, I suppose so, but would punishing me achieve anything love? I'm not trying to brush it off as inconsequential or anything but don't you think my utter humiliation counts as punishment in itself?"

I guess I'd over stepped the mark in suggesting I'd been punished enough.

"For fuck's sake, Esther finds you've been fiddling around in her laundry and wearing her knickers, she's humiliated and embarrassed and feels her privacy has been violated. And how do you think it makes me feel eh? My mum and sister finding out that my (she emphasised the "my") husband wants to sniff women's panties and jerk off in them and then in front of us all ejaculates! Don't you think I'm suffering humiliation too? Do you know what it's like to know you're married to someone who does that and that I hadn't a clue? That makes me feel inadequate too. Heaven knows what sort of wife they think I am, not knowing my own husband had a cross-dressing fantasy. Maybe they think I'm not good in bed for you or that you're 'not getting enough'. And you have the gall to say maybe you should go unpunished! That I - and mum and Esther - should not exact some form of punishment. You've got some gall."