Making It Work Ch. 06

"Come on, David, just jump before we get caught."

"Ana, are you crazy? You know that if anyone finds out about this we're both dead."

"We're not even completely naked. And what's the use of breaking into the school's swimming pool if we're not going to take advantage of it? Are you being a chicken?"

"No."

"Then get your ass in the pool, David."

"My dad is going to kill me if he ever finds out."

"He won't now come on."

"You know, Ana, when I suggested that we do something exciting, this wasn't a part of the plan."

"I know, but isn't that the reason why you love me? I'm spontaneous."

"I never said I loved you."

"I already know that you do."

*Beep**Beep**Beep*

My heart is aching. Ever since I saw Ana two weeks ago I haven't stopped dreaming about her. It's as if everything is coming back to me little by little and I'm overcome with emotion. The dreams all end the same way: her face smiling at me with love and trust—something I've lost since my departure.

If I could turn my brain off then I would. I don't want to pass my days seeing her sitting on my desk in my office or hearing her infectious laughter. I don't want her greeting me at the door in one of my button ups and a pair of my boxers. I don't want to fall asleep with the phantom imprint of her soft cheek against my chest. And I definitely don't want to awaken with her soft voice attempting to sing in my ear. Shit, I swear that I'm starting to lose it.

I don't know if I can experience another week this torturous. What am I supposed to do? I can't go back. I refuse to bring confusion back into her life and expect her to accept it with open arms. I do know that I miss her like crazy and that I love her like hell. Now I know how my father felt when my mother passed. Sometimes I would walk through the door to find him staring listlessly off into space with a smile upon his lips. He would say that my mother just gave him a visit. During that time I was concerned for him. He was so out of it that I had to feed him or he wouldn't eat a scratch. I was worried about losing him too.

Now here I am with a waning appetite for the past week. I've continued repressing my emotions through the guise of work, but even that has its limits. How do I focus when Ananda is talking over my shoulder or tracing awkward imaginary circles all over my blue prints when I should be paying attention while the super intendant gives me updates on the building's progress? I can't live like this. I want to talk to her.

With much effort I drag myself out of bed. I'm usually an early bird but I feel the pressure of my pent up sentiments weighing me down. Sometimes it's just easier for me to remain in bed than to deal with all of this bullshit. I can honestly say that I'm experiencing withdrawals. I'm so fucking bent right now that I watched Austin Powers and nearly tore up when Ananda's favorite part, where Austin is embarrassed about his dental hygiene, came on. She would make me rewind the DVD while she laughed until her eyes watered.

David: There's a part of me that's missing. I have to admit it and live with the ramifications of my actions. "I'm doing this for us." Not even my reflection believes me though it's the truth.

I shave and take a blistering shower. It's the only thing that seems to get me back into my right state of mind. Jason suggested that I get out more. He told me that staying locked away in my apartment will make matters worse. Tom thinks my issue will be solved by bedding some random chick on the street. The guys are the only ones I've told about what I'm going through. My father doesn't even know and he makes it a habit to call me every week to stick his nose in my business.

He tends to call when I'm at my best then leave me low by bringing up questions and concerns about Ana. I can't seem to get away from her. I wish that I could just tell everyone to shut up about her, but deep down I look forward to the updates even if they consist of news concerning her and her new boyfriend.

"You should wear the green tie. It makes your eyes sparkle."

"Ana, I don't need sparkling eyes. What man do you know wants to walk around with sparkling eyes like some kind of fairy?"

"Wear the damn tie. I got it for your birthday and I've yet to see you put it on."

I hold up the olive green diamond patterned tie and smile. I never told her that it's one of my favorites. I'm not a suit and tie kind of guy, but Ana has nice taste in fashion. I make it a habit to always use the gifts she offers me. Today however I don't want a hanging reminder of her on my person. I sit on my unkempt bed already exhausted though I've only been awake for an hour.

*Ring**Ring*

David: "Hello?"

"Hi David?"

David: [whispers] "Ana?"

Leleti: "It's Leleti, I know it's early, but I just realized that you left your fancy schmancy mac book in my car with all of your important appointments. I was worried that you would need it."

Shit. I can't believe I just did that. Luckily, she didn't hear me. Next time I need to check the damn caller I.D.

David: "Hey Leleti, thanks a bunch for the call. Where are you?" I can hear car horns in the background and a muffled hum on the other end.

Leleti: "I'm in my car, duh! Just kidding. I was on the way to work when I saw your little friend glowing eerily on my passenger seat. Note-to-self, open garage door before sitting in your car and getting the shit scared out of you."

David: [laughs] "Sorry about that. I didn't even know that it was missing. How about I drop by your office to pick it up?"

Leleti: "That sounds lovely and bring a blue berry muffin as compensation while you're at it."

David: [chuckles softly] "I guess I do owe you."

Leleti: "You do. See you soon."

I end the call with my spirits slightly lifted. I'm always in a good mood after interacting with Leleti. Perhaps Jason is on to something. I need to get out more and make new friends. I'm pretty sure that Leleti isn't going to want to spend every waking hour with me. And to be honest, she's a great gal, but I would feel smothered too if I saw her every single day. I've only felt the contrary with one woman: Ananda. We used to lounge around reading comics and munching on Cheez-Itz all day until we decided it was time to leave our cavern and reintegrate with society.

I'm finally dressed and heading out the door. I know that I'll be early to my board meeting, but I prefer to be preoccupied with the gym than sitting in my apartment staring at the box of picture albums and other paraphernalia that will remind me of Ana. It's been sitting in the corner of my living room since the move and even Leleti is starting to get curious whenever she comes over. She's eyeing it more than my dad eyes turtles in the market. I keep reminding him that in America they're domesticated pets. He sees them as lunch and perhaps even dinner.

I find my closest coffee shop, purposefully avoiding Starbucks because of the creepy, middle-aged manager with the bad highlights who always stares at me and smiles that disgusting yellow colored smile whenever I walk through the door, and stop at a quaint coffee shop that the average person would drive by because they don't have a huge green and white sign with that weird mermaid, princess looking woman as the logo. I could never figure out what that thing was supposed to be.

My barista looks to be about seventeen. I had to take a double look for verification. I don't know what they're putting in the water, but Asian girls are starting to fill out quite nicely, if I do say so myself—not that I'm ogling jailbait. I will admit nonetheless that when she does come of age, and removes the braces, she'll have many suitors at her door.

"Hello, my name is Amiee. What can I get for you?

David: "Hi Amiee, how are your muffins?"

Amiee: "Excuse me?!"

I realize the way that sounded and laughed. If I was on "Dateline's To Catch A Predator," I'd be on my way to jail right now. It didn't help that I was looking at her nametag while wondering exactly how many ways one could spell the name Amy. I was caught off guard by its orthography. Seriously. I'll confess right now that nothing does it more for me than a beautiful black woman with glowing chocolate skin. The darker the berry the better. Amiee has nothing on Ana.

David: "I'm sorry, let me rephrase that before you call the cops—that's a unique way to write your name, by the way. I'm here to purchase blue berry muffins—and two Frappuccino's." I add the drinks as an afterthought thanks to my raging guilt and her suspicious stare.

Amiee: "What size?"

David: "Two mediums, please."

Amiee: "And the muffins?"

David: "Medium as well?" She steps aside and I see why she asked. There lie the biggest muffins I've ever seen in my life. They're bigger than the ones you find in Sam's (aka Costco for those who don't live in the South). I can't help but laughing imagining someone with small hands and a small mouth eating them. "As a matter of fact, will you give me one medium and one gigantor, please?"

I wait for my drinks to be made then pay for my purchase before exiting the shop with a creepy grin on my lips. I can never show my face here again—unless Amiee isn't on duty. I like the place. It seemed nice and cozy. Ana would have enjoyed a coffee within its confinements while we laugh at how ridiculously large this damn muffin is. It would probably take two days to eat. Okay, so I'm exaggerating, but seriously you wouldn't need to eat lunch or finish your dinner if you took this bad boy on.

I navigate through traffic until I reach Leleti's building then ride the elevator up to her floor. I've only been here about twice, but the personnel seem nice.

Secretary: "Ms. Pierterse is currently on a business call, but since it's you I'll let you in anyway."

David: "Thanks Nate." I can feel him watching my ass as I walk by. That guy couldn't hide his homosexuality to save his life. The first time I met him he blew kisses at me and pretended to be a tiger. I was afraid. Leleti says he's harmless then again he's not staring at her crotch with hungry eyes thus she has no reason to worry.

I enter her office, sitting down in front of her desk and ignoring the clutter of documents on top. She holds up a finger at me with an apologetic frown on her face and I good naturedly wave her off. I unpack our breakfast and start in on my muffin while she finishes up with her call.

David: "What? You asked for a blue berry muffin, didn't you?"

Leleti: "Do I look like a hungry nation? How am I supposed to finish this?"

She holds up the large muffin in both of her hands and I lose it. I break out into a fit of laughter while she gives me the 'you're a jackass' look. I push her cup of Frappuccino towards her and smile.

Leleti: "There's no way I can finish this."

David: "I'm not expecting you to, but I advise you to save the rest for tomorrow morning. It's delicious if you were wondering."

Leleti: "What am I supposed to do with you?"

Love me. That's what Ananda would have said if I had asked her that question.

Leleti: "You look nice. You should wear a suit more often."

I fight with my tie in discomfort, taking a sip of my lukewarm drink to wash away the memories.

David: "You should see me out of one." What? Seriously, what the hell is wrong with my brain today? First the barista and now Leleti. Luckily she's laughing at my slipup. My embarrassment is obvious from the red tinge of my cheeks. "That sounded much better in my head. Let's pretend I never said anything."

Leleti: "It's too late. Besides, I know you'd look better without one."

There's an awkward pause as I attempt to digest her statement. Was that a compliment or was she flirting with me?

Leleti: "In case you were wondering, I was flirting."

David: "Oh."

Leleti: "Just oh?"

David: "I guess. I wasn't expecting that."

She looks down at her untouched muffin nervously, toying with the wrapper and slowly peeling it away before our eyes reconnect. Her face is slightly pink, a telltale sign that she is embarrassed.

Leleti: "I'm not usually this forward, but I'm attracted to you."

I shift in my seat as her brown eyes gaze into my own. I should definitely say something before things get even more uncomfortable. My mind is drawing a blank for the first time in my life. Here I am with a beautiful woman sitting across from me, hitting on me, and I'm speechless.

David: '"I—uh—"

Leleti: "I know that you're still confused about Ananda and after deep reflection my gut tells me that she is your ex. I don't want to rush you however neither am I looking to play the sidelines of the friend zone. I'm just throwing my interest out there so that when you're ready to move on you'll know that I'm here."

David: "Fair enough. Still, I can't make any promises."

Leleti: "I'm not looking for any. We're still in the getting to know you phase."

A tranquil calm returns to the atmosphere as I sit back in my seat. It took a lot of guts for her to confess to me the way she did. Most women would have sat around expecting men to read their minds. I'll tell you one thing for sure: I'm not psychic and I don't even believe that psychics are psychic. My eye wanders to the perfectly intact muffin and Leleti and I share a smile.

Leleti: "I already know what you're thinking and I refuse to take one bite out of this thing until you're out of my office. You just want to laugh at my expense."

David: "I do. Fortunately for you, I can't stay much longer. I have a meeting to attend. I didn't expect to still be here."

She reaches into her desk and pulls out my Mac which I appreciatively accept as I stand to my feet. She nods her head towards the door and I take the hint.

Leleti: "Dave?"

David: I'll never get used to nicknames. It feels weird answering to a moniker I never use. "Yeah?"

Leleti: "Don't forget that we're going to the movies Friday night, okay?"

David: "Gotcha chief. Later." I make it back to my car stretching out in the driver's seat instead of revving the engine. What am I supposed to do about Leleti? She's funny, she's intelligent, she's beautiful, and she's great to be around, but that's the extent of my admiration for her. I don't want to lead her on. I don't plan to. I should nevertheless inform her of my feelings—or the lack thereof. I'm just not ready to start another relationship or even to contemplating getting involved in another.

For years, no matter what I did or who I was with, all roads led back to Ana. She's out of the picture now yet even so my heart still isn't in it. I grab my Mac book to check my schedule for the day and guffaw at the picture of Leleti's smiling face. Her curly hair somewhat blocks her vision yet it's a lovely photo of her. I shake my head, check my schedule, and finally leave the parking lot to head in to work.

The meeting was a bore and I regret not sending Tommy's ass out here instead of my own. At least then I wouldn't have had to sit through an hour and a half of "concerns" that are in fact paltry issues when it comes to the management of the new gym. Even with the success of our chain in the south, there are naysayers on our own damn director's board. If I didn't need the investors I would have told them to go to hell and let me do my job. It's my gym—well, our gym— and I'm more than capable of handling the responsibilities expected of me. What they really want me and Tommy to do is let them have their way and run our gym into the ground. Over my dead body.

It's a bad idea to open a gym in Washington. Who asked for your opinion? Just give me your damn money, watch me triple your investment, and leave me the hell alone. I'm seriously considering funding the next gym in Atlanta from my own pocket. I've already passed it by Tommy, but he's worried about the financial strain. It's not like we're broke. In fact, we're both making bank now that we've made a name for ourselves. Nevertheless, we would have to take out a couple of bank loans for backing. They would have been repaid within two years tops, but Tommy is paranoid when it comes to spending money. He would probably hire about thirty risk analysts before taking the leap.

I go to my office and with the help of my secretary make several callbacks and establish interview dates. The gym may not be anywhere near completion, but that doesn't mean that we can't find and train our staff. For the next three months I'm booked with interviews. By the end of my work day I have a huge migraine. Instead of going home and relaxing to get rid of it, I change into running gear and hit the pavement. I get in a good hour and a half. My mind is willing but my body is feeling too weak to continue. I get home and take a hot shower. I skip dinner realizing that I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. I'm not hungry.

My computer chimes right when I'm about to fall on my bed. I already know it's Jason. I open up the video chat and smile when I see Michelle's hand waving vigorously before his face. I have yet to learn where she gets all of that energy.

David: "Hello stalker."

Michelle: "Stalker? How dare you!"

Jason: "David, you know that we're your only source of entertainment. Don't front."

David: "I was talking about Jason, Michelle. How are you this fine evening?"

Michelle: "Great! Guess what?"

Her enthusiasm makes me chuckle as I shrug my shoulders. I have no idea what they could possibly be up to.

Michelle: "Come on. Guess."

David: "You've realized what an idiot Jason is and have decided to call off the engagement?"

Jason: "In your wildest dreams, dick face."

Michelle: "Ananda has talked your father into coming out to see you, BUT since he doesn't want to go alone Jason and I have volunteered our services. WE'RE COMING TO VISIT YOU IN WASHINGTON!!!! YAY!!!"

David: "What?"

Jason: "We, as in Michelle, your father, and I, will be coming to see you in Washington. I hope you have enough room for us because we're mooching off of you for the week."

My brain is spinning in my skull. How in the world did Ana manage to talk my, stubborn as a mule, old man into flying out to see me? The last time we went back to the Philippines together, he complained the entire flight, he nagged everyone while we were there, and then when we made it back on U.S. soil he complained about not spending enough time with his family. My father can be hard to please at times.

I'm even more surprised that she would be so considerate of me since we haven't spoken. I want to call her and talk to her. Her voice alone will suffice even if it's to tell me to stop calling. Why isn't this any easier for me? I told her that she shouldn't call, but under these circumstances I'm obligated to thank her.

Jason: "Are you even paying attention?"

David: [head snaps to attention] "I'm sorry, what?"

Jason: "I said that we'll be there sometime next month which will give you time to prepare for our visit. That works right?"

David: "Yeah, that's perfect. Is anyone else coming with you guys?"

Michelle: "You mean Ana?"

David: [scoffs] "What? No, more like Jodie or one of the fellas."

Jason: [snorts] "Jodie and the fellas my ass. Your dad's girlfriend is not coming with us. Do you want us to tell Ana to come?"

David: "NO!" [clears throat then tries again more calmly]. "No."

Michelle: "You kind of owe her a big thank you."

David: "I know. I'm going to call her as soon as I can."

Michelle: "Then we'll leave you to it. We just wanted to give you some good news. Have a good night."