Making It Work Ch. 07

I almost cried when I saw all the hair that I had chopped off, but I'm happy that it will be going to someone who truly needs it. Afterwards, she got to work on my hair and gave me a gorgeous pixie cut that definitely made the delicate angles of my jawline standout. I felt so feminine and vulnerable without my hair to hide me. Caroline whistles her approval and if I was lighter, she would have seen that I had blushed. I wait until my neck is brushed off and the hair protector removed before leaving the chair. I guess they realized how uncomfortable I am about the new chop because they genuinely complimented me on the new look until I was smiling with confidence.

Caroline: "How are you feeling?"

Ananda: "Naked. I feel so naked."

Caroline: "I know what you mean. You get used it though. But believe me when I say that you look amazing. Did you see how many men were eyeing you on our way back to the car?"

Ananda: [involuntarily rubs the side of her neck] "No."

Caroline: "You should have. I was afraid I would have to beat them off with a stick. They were practically drooling."

Ananda: "Whatever."

Caroline: "Don't you whatever me. I bet if you sent David a picture of your new look he'd be on the first flight back to Columbia to fight those guys off you. He probably wouldn't even go back to Washington." [Raises eyebrows insinuatingly]

Ananda: "I spoke to him about two or so weeks ago if that's what you're silently asking. And I guess he's doing well."

Caroline: "It's good that you two are talking again."

Ananda: "Yeah."

Caroline: "Did you tell him that you're leaving soon?"

Ananda: "He knows."

Caroline: "Did you tell him when you were coming back?"

Ananda: "No."

Caroline: "Ana, I know that you're trying to protect yourself, but don't push David out. You love him. Just be honest and the both of you can work this out."

Ananda: "What's there to work out? He's in a relationship. I saw his girlfriend once and she's beautiful."

Caroline: "That sucks. You and Murphy aren't together anymore and David is in a relationship. Life's a bitch, ain't she?"

Ananda: "It's fine. It is what it is. I've washed my hands and frankly I'm tired of all of this back and forth between us. I'm glad that he's moving on. I want him to be happy even if we're not together. Right now, at least for me, we're in the awkward stage where we don't want to step on each other's toes and ask questions that we shouldn't. It's hard to talk to him because there's so much I want to say, but at the same time I don't know what to say. It's nerve wrecking."

Caroline: "It'll get better, I promise. Jeremy and I have started talking again and we've decided to go to counseling. Even if we don't reunite at least we'll have solved our issues."

Ananda: "I'm happy for you. I hope the two of you work it out."

Caroline: "Thanks. I'm pretty sure that you and David will get your act together too."

Ananda: "Sometimes I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that so many people are rooting for us. That means either we're idiots who can't see what everyone else does or....I don't know."

Caroline: "I just know that you love him and from the very few occasions when he came to see you at work, I'm sure that he loves you too, and when two people love each other, they can't deny the chemistry. At the end of the day, you both realize that in spite of all the b.s. you're just man and woman looking for what brought the two of you together in the first place: love. As long as it's there, you can endure years of separation and see each other after a decade and it'll feel like not even one day lapsed since the last time that you spoke."

I nod my head in understanding as my belly flutters. How would I react once I see David again after four and a half months of separation? At least I think it's four months. Perhaps it's been more. I don't want to think about it because I'll be sad. I do know however, that we'll see each other thanks to Michelle and Jason's engagement party that they've pushed back until August. By then I should be back from my travels in Europe.

Caroline and I head to our new firm location and inspect the work that has been done thus far. I like the color selection: black painted walls with gray trimmings, and light gray tiled floors to accentuate the gray boarders and windowsills. The decoration will be more festive. Caroline likes to contrast light with darks so I'm pretty sure I'll like whatever she comes up with. We plan out the office spacing in accordance with the floor plan then we call it a day. I go straight to my parents' house where I give everyone a heart attack with my hair cut. They were all shocked, but when I told them that it was donated to make wigs for cancer patients, they changed the tune of their song and were more accepting of me "being bald."

Stacy: "You look beautiful, but I wished you would have warned us. You're so spontaneous lately."

Ananda: "Am I?"

Eddie: "Yeah, but I thinks that's exactly what you need right now. Keep doing you, Ana, I think you're going to find what you're looking so hard for."

I can see Frederick perfectly mimicking Daddy's frown. They never said that they disliked the haircut, however neither did they express their approval. I heard them grumbling to themselves about men trying to take advantage of me in Europe because I look too innocent. My mom did say that I looked much younger and vulnerable without all of my hair. Who would have thought? All the same, I'll be leaving within the next week and a half so it's too late for regrets.

After spending the afternoon with my family and reflecting upon what Caroline told me, I made the first move and called David. I'm still not sure what I'll say to him, but I do want to hear his deep voice. If I was brave enough, I would Skype with him, but I'm not certain if I'm ready to make that next step. A phone call will have to suffice for now.

David: "Ana, what's going on? What's wrong?"

Ananda: "Nothing, does something have to be amiss for me to call you? Or does it make you uncomfortable? Maybe we're not ready to talk on a normal basis again, huh?"

David: "No, I just...I just woke up from a bizarre dream and I'm spouting off at the mouth. How are you?"

Ananda: "I'm fine. How are you doing?"

David: "I'll be lying if I didn't say that I'm missing my father right now."

Ananda: "I'm sorry. I hope that he was on his best behavior."

David: "Yeah, you know my old man, he complains about everything, but this time he had both Jason and Michelle on his side. They ganged up on me."

Ananda: [chuckles] "Something sounds fishy. What aren't you telling me?"

David: [smiles] "Nothing. So paranoid"

His amused tone makes me smile too. I wish that I could see his lips painted with that familiar grin of his.

Ananda: "Yeah, yeah, you're just avoiding my question."

David: "They seem to think that I'm not taking care of myself for some odd reason."

Ananda: "Then you should eat more, and you should try to get more rest."

David: "What?"

Ananda: "David, I know you. When something is bothering you, you won't eat, you'll hardly sleep or you'll try to oversleep, and you'll go into this exercise frenzy. Promise me that you'll take better care of yourself."

I can hear him sigh in frustration on the other line. He moves about before the background noise quiets down.

David: "I don't want you worrying about me."

Ananda: "Whether you tell me to or not, I always do. Anyway, I don't want to keep you too long, so..."

David: "I'm not really doing much right now. You don't have to worry, but from the sound of it you must be busy."

Ananda: [inadvertently rubs neck] "Yeah, we are sort of having an impromptu family reunion. We, my brothers and I, have officially completed the renovation of the bakery. We found the building and secretly worked on it and then we surprised Mom and Dad with dinner on the inside. Mom was so happy that she cried the entire night. I wish that you were here to see it."

David: "Me too. Tell them I said congratulations."

Ananda: "I will."

David: "I won't hold you much longer. Thank you for calling, Ana. I really appreciate it."

Ananda: [rubs neck again] "I wanted to talk to you, so you don't need to thank me."

[Silence]

David: "Okay, well, have a great afternoon."

Ananda: "You too."

I didn't want to hang up if it wasn't already obvious. I feel more longing after having conversed with him than before. I feel incomplete and unsatisfied. Nevertheless, a sense of ease is taking over me in knowing that David and I are making progress. Slow as it may appear to be, it is progress nonetheless. And that's all I'm asking for.