Mark Ch. 02

And again he entered into Capernaum after some days; and it was noised that he was "in da house."

2 And straightway many were gathered together, insomuch that there was no room to receive them, no, not so much as about the door, all pushed up against each other and sweaty and it smelled like dank pussy: and he raised the roof.

3 And they come unto his face massive loads, bringing one cum hungry slut, which was borne of four hung studs.

4 And when they could not come nigh unto him for their balls were already empty, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had busted their last nuts, they let down the bed wherein they had fucked the shit out of her.

5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick slut, bitch, get up on these nuts.

6 But there was certain of the prudes sitting there, and reasoning in their hearts,

7 Why doth this man thus speak like a pimp? who can satisfy such a ho?

8 And immediately when Jesus perceived in his spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, he said unto them, shut your pussy mouths!

9 Whether is it easier to say to fuck this nasty bitch, and make her cum buckets; and then to say, Get up, slut, bitches walk?

10 But you gonna get this good dick, baby.

11 And he fucked her front and back and tore that shit up while everyone watched.

12 And immediately she came, all up on the bed, and squirted before them all; insomuch that they were all amazed, and, saying, Shit, We never saw it on this fashion.

13 And he went forth again by the sea side; and all the multitude resorted unto him, and he finger banged most of them.

14 And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus turning tricks, and said unto him, Follow me, I got some of that good dick for you. And he arose and followed him.

15 And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat on some thick meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for it was a raucous orgy.

16 And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat cock with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth cock and drinketh cum with publicans and sinners?

17 When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, Fuck you, I do what I want. A guy's gotta get his dick wet wherever he can, bro.

18 And the disciples of John and of the Pharisees used not to jerk it at all: and they come and say unto him, Why do the disciples of John and of the Pharisees keep in in their pants, but thy disciples rub themselves raw?

19 And Jesus said unto them, What the fuck is this shit? Get it while you can. Get it hot and fucking hard.

20 One of these days you're gonna get it up the ass and then you'll see what I'm on about: ass, pussy, man, woman, it doesn't matter. Everybody's gotta get some.

21 No man is totally straight; that is some straight up bullshit.

22 And no is totally gay, either. When you smell that good cunny, you gotta get you some honey.

23 And it came to pass, that he went through the corn fields on the sabbath day; and his disciples began, as they went, to pluck the ears of corn and use them as butt plugs.

24 And the Pharisees said unto him, Behold, why do they on the sabbath day that which is not lawful but totally hot?

25 And he said unto them, Get your shit straight, son. It's called a cornhole for a reason.

26 How he went into the house of God in the days of Abiathar the high priest, and did eat his hot spunk, which is not lawful to eat but for the nastiest of priests, and gave also to them which were with him as much as he got?

27 And he said unto them, fingers in butts, dicks in butts, corn in butts, it's all good:

28 Therefore the Son of man is Lord of dudes and bitches and freaky half-and-halfs.