Marrying for Money Ch. 03

Leanna reached for the bundle with shaking fingers. The faint scent of a woman's perfume wafted to her nostrils. Leanna read the flowery script, and the name Eliza seemed to jump off the page to mock her. The letters hadn't been mailed, as there were no addresses or postage on the envelopes. More likely, these where letters she had given him during their courtship? Love letters? The letters were well worn, and it was obvious that Trevor had read and reread the letters many times. Leanna felt her heart constricting in her chest.

She replaced the letters and slammed the drawer shut, scrubbing her hands together as if they felt somehow unclean. There was only one explanation for why Trevor had kept the letters. He must still love Eliza, or at least he cared enough to want to keep her letters. Leanna took several deep breaths, but she couldn't suppress the tears that welled and spilled over her cheeks. She wiped at them angrily, drawing in a shuddering breath to steady her nerves. Finding the letters was simply too much after her earlier experience that day. She desperately wished for some reassurance that her husband truly cared for her. Surely he felt some affection for her and wasn't simply using her.

Her cheeks flushed red as she thought back on the many times she had given herself to Trevor like a wanton little slut. She remembered telling him that she loved him, and she cringed in shame. It cut Leanna to the quick to think that Trevor had taken her body, used her for his pleasure, while all the time he had been remembering another woman. After all, she did have her pride. That selfsame pride began to flay her with righteous anger. She refused to be anyone's fool!

Leanna sniffed at her tears and wiped her face dry. She squared her shoulders, and her chin took on a determined slant. She couldn't let her husband know how badly he had hurt her. It would simply be too much for her pride to bear. There was nothing she could do to change her past behavior, but Leanna was determined not to let him use her like a whore in the future. If Trevor wanted her to be warm and willing in his bed, he was going to have to prove that he cared for her!

When Trevor returned that evening, Leanna greeted him politely, but she didn't display her usual warmth. He frowned, wondering what was wrong with her, but he shrugged to himself, attributing her moodiness to the length of their journey and being cooped up in the tiny cabin. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, nuzzling her neck with kisses.

"We should be arriving in Virginia in a few more days, my sweet. You won't have to put up with this ship much longer."

Leanna stood stiffly in his arms and murmured something noncommittal in response. Trevor cocked a brow in question.

"Is there something wrong, Leanna? Are you feeling alright?"

Leanna pounced on his statement as a good ploy to avoid his attentions. "No, actually I'm not," she murmured frowning. "I don't think my lunch agreed with me, and I don't feel at all well. I think I should retire early, if you don't mind."

She held her breath, hoping he would believe her lie. Noticing her unease, Trevor studied her intently from over her shoulder, and then he suggestively rubbed one large palm over her flat belly.

"Is there any other reason why you might not be feeling well?" he asked softly.

Leanna was so preoccupied with her thoughts that it took several moments for the meaning of his question to sink in to her. When it did, she blushed hotly and broke out of his embrace, feeling irritated and flustered.

"No!" she cried. "It's nothing like that. I told you, it's just something I ate. Now, I would really like to go to bed, I'm tired."

Trevor nodded reluctantly and watched as she hurriedly changed into one of her more modest nightgowns, for once shielding her body from his gaze by keeping her back turned to him while she changed. She crawled between the sheets and gave him a tight smile before turning away to face the wall.

"Goodnight," she called quietly.

"Goodnight," he echoed, frowning in bemusement.

Trevor couldn't pinpoint anything in her behavior, but he somehow felt there was more to her mood than indigestion. However, he couldn't think of anything that may have disturbed her. In fact, she had been radiant in his arms that morning. Now, she seemed cold and distant. She had never been like that with him before, and even though he didn't know what he had done, he somehow felt she was upset with him.

Not feeling the least bit sleepy, he sat at his desk and began to work on some ledgers. He tried to concentrate, but his thoughts kept returning to Leanna, and his eyes strayed more and more often to where she slept in their bed. When Trevor realized a full hour had passed without him accomplishing anything, he frowned in irritation. He realized for the first time just how much he had come to enjoy their evenings together. He had sometimes felt lonely on board his ship before getting married, but this feeling was different.

Trevor missed more than just his wife's eager response to his lovemaking, although that titillated his senses. He missed Leanna's charming wit and her unfailing humor. Even when they sat in companionable silence, he always felt comforted by her presence. Now, he missed the easy camaraderie they had developed over the previous weeks.

Leanna lay still and quiet in the bed, facing the wall. She watched the tiny shadows dancing on the beams above her from the lantern on her husband's desk, and she swallowed to clear the lump in her throat. She was acutely aware of every movement Trevor made, and she longed to turn towards him and beckon him to join her in the bed. However, she was determined not to let him hurt her any more than he had already done.

She was his wife, not just his little plaything. Leanna would continue to show him respect and politeness, but she made up her mind not to respond to his advances any more until she could be certain that he cared for her. Even if he would never be able to love her like she loved him, the very least she expected was to have his undivided attention while he made love to her. Until then, he might insist that she share his bed, but she was resolved to do so only grudgingly. If he thought she would willingly let him fuck her while he mooned over his lost love, he could think again!

When Trevor finally doused the light and joined Leanna in bed, she kept her breathing steady and slow, pretending to be asleep. He bent over her and placed a fleeting kiss on her cheek and tucked the quilt up around her shoulder before snuggling against her back to find sleep himself. His outward show of tenderness brought fresh tears to Leanna's eyes, and she let them fall silently on the pillow, careful not to betray the fact that she was weeping.

The next morning, Leanna awoke to find a bright red glow suffusing their cabin from the large bay window. She rolled over and saw that Trevor had already left their cabin, and her heart ached at his absence. This was the first morning since their marriage that he hadn't made love to her in the predawn hours. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut against a fresh wave of tears and forced herself to take several deep, calming breaths.

Leanna felt incredibly weary after enduring a nearly sleepless night. She had dozed fitfully, waking several times to find herself cuddled against the warmth of her husband, her thigh riding intimately between his. Each time, she had pulled away to the far side of the bed, trying to avoid his touch as much as possible. However, it was as if he craved her touch as well, because he kept sidling closer to her in his sleep until she was nearly wedged against the wall.

Heaving a deep sigh, she finally rose from the bed, tying the belt of her robe around her slender waist as she went to look out over the ocean. The sky was spectacular, with rosy streaks in all the clouds. Leanna grimaced, wishing that she had a loving husband here with her to enjoy the view.

When she emerged from the companionway some time later, she was amazed by the level of activity on deck. Sailors were climbing high into the rigging to check the sails and adjust them where necessary, under their captain's watchful eye. Everyone scurried around, giving her the barest of greetings in their haste to carry out their duties, and she frowned in confusion as she made her way to her husband's side.

Trevor seemed to sense Leanna's presence, and he turned to watch her as she approached him. His eyes scanned her features, noticing the dark circles beneath her eyes and her pale cheeks, and he frowned in concern.

"Good morning, my sweet. Didn't you sleep well?" he inquired.

Looking away, she gave him a polite answer. "Not really. I couldn't seem to get settled. I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

Trevor refrained from telling her that the only things that had disturbed him were wondering what had upset her and not being able to make love to her. Instead, he placed a protective arm around her shoulder and turned to survey the efforts of his men once more.

"Well, you should stay below deck for most of the day. Try to get some rest while you can. We'll have our hands full by this afternoon, so I doubt that I'll be able to join you for lunch."

Leanna frowned again as she watched the men working frantically. "Yes, I noticed everyone was rushing about. What is happening?"

He gave her a grim smile. "Haven't you ever heard the old seafarer's expression 'Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky at morn', sailor's be warned'?"

Leanna shook her head, sending her fiery curls bobbing prettily. "No, I've never heard that."

Trevor chuckled and squeezed her shoulder. "Well, it means that we are likely to be in for a storm today or tonight, so everyone is busy with preparations. I had a feeling that our crossing had been a bit too smooth so far. We've had nothing but fair winds, and that's odd."

Leanna's eyes widened in surprise as she looked out over the water. The waves were tranquil, indeed more so than usual, and the wind was barely blowing.

"Are you sure there's going to be a storm? I mean, it looks so calm today."

He chuckled lightly. "Believe me, my sweet. By tonight, we may be riding forty foot waves, and we need to be sure we're ready."

Leanna looked up at her husband's handsome face, and she felt her heart constrict in her chest. She longed to reach up and kiss him and murmur words of encouragement and support, but she swallowed the words.

Instead, she said, "well, I'll leave you to your work." Giving him a crisp nod, she turned and picked her way carefully to the stairs.

As Trevor watched her go, he felt a cold lump settle into the pit of his stomach. Something was definitely wrong, but he didn't have the time just then to question his wife. He longed to follow her and get to the bottom of her reserved behavior, but he knew he was needed above deck today. Whatever was troubling her would have to wait until at least tomorrow. Squinting up at the sky, he frowned sharply. In fact, it might be several days.

Sure enough, a storm began raging in the late afternoon. The cabin boy appeared, at his captain's bidding, to instruct Leanna on how to prepare the cabin and herself for the rough ride they would have to endure. He showed her how to tie herself into the bed so that she wouldn't fall out during rough seas, and she merely stared at him agog. Surely the seas wouldn't get that rough? However, she listened dutifully and followed his instructions on putting any loose items away where they wouldn't be thrown around. All the doors and drawers were latched shut, and she finally understood the necessity for having the furniture nailed down.

For the first time, Leanna felt queasy from being tossed around mercilessly, and she finally had to resort to using the small bucket that had been provided for just such occasions. As the night wore on, the ship was buffeted about with increasing force, much like a moth in a windstorm, and she feared for their safety. Trevor didn't join her in the cabin, as his crewmen needed him to steer them through the terrible storm, but she could occasionally hear him as he bellowed out orders to be heard above the raging winds.

Leanna sat alone, braced in their bed and cringing in fear as loud thunder crashed outside and lightning lit the sky. She prayed fervently that they would be safe, and she could only wonder about the men's welfare as they moved about on the deck, being pelted by the driving rains, icy sleet and heavy winds.

Trevor finally stumbled into their cabin near dawn. He was soaking wet and shivering, and Leanna leaped from the bed to help him strip his icy clothes. Bracing against the tilting of the ship, she led him to a chair before the fire and wrapped him in a heavy quilt against the chill. His face and hands were grayish from the cold, and he watched her listlessly as she hurried to prepare him a steaming mug of tea, heavily laced with strong whiskey. She had to time her movements to counter the rolling of the ship, and she was careful not to fill the mug too full, lest he dump the entire contents onto his lap.

Trevor drank the tea, and a bit of color began to return to his cheeks. In mere moments, his head was lolling against the back of the chair, and Leanna was not surprised to see that he had fallen into an exhausted slumber. She took the cup from his limp fingers and stoked the fire to keep the cabin warm, before she braced herself into the chair opposite her husband, watching over him throughout the morning. Her eyes traced his firm jaw, with its dark shadow of stubble. Even as he was, unshaven and unkempt, he was incredibly handsome, and her heart lurched as she watched him. How she wished he could love her as she did him. Maybe, if she were patient enough, someday he would.

Trevor opened his eyes and saw his sleeping wife sitting across from him. She had drawn her legs up into the chair, wedging herself in so she wouldn't fall out when the waves tossed the ship around. Her small toes peeked out from beneath the hem of her robe, causing him to smile. Her lips were slightly parted, and his eyes traced where her velvet robe hugged her generous curves. He longed to wake her with kisses, but he swallowed down the urge.

Instead, he rose quietly and dressed in dry clothes, bracing himself against the pitching deck to stay upright. He quickly ate a hunk of cheese and a small loaf of bread that had been left from the evening before, before washing them down with another mug of whiskey laced tea. Finally ready to face his duties again, he left the cabin on silent feet.

The next two days passed in much the same way. The only times Leanna saw Trevor were when he stumbled to their cabin to change into dry clothes, grab a bite to eat and sleep for a few brief hours. By the third day, his jaw was covered with thick, black stubble, and his face was heavily lined with exhaustion. Leanna couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. As captain of the ship, he got less rest than anyone else, as he bore the burden of responsibility for the welfare of everyone on board. She wished she could do something to help him, but as long as the storm raged outside, there was little she could do except be ready to assist him when he came to their cabin.

Finally, on the fourth morning, he stumbled into their cabin, waking Leanna from her fitful dozing in their bed. She frowned in confusion. Something seemed wrong. It finally occurred to her that the waves had calmed considerably, and the wind no longer howled so fiercely outside the window. She rose to help her husband strip off his wet clothes and he stumbled to their bed, unwilling even to have a cup of tea first. He fell asleep almost immediately, and Leanna shrugged as she decided to join him in the cozy haven.

Several hours later, she felt his warm, questing hand kneading her breast. Her eyes opened wide, and she half turned to see that he was awake and was beginning to nuzzle her neck with feathery kisses, his course whiskers scratching her skin delightfully. He bent and possessed her lips with a kiss so sweet and tender it made Leanna's heart ache with longing.

Remembering her resolve, she started to turn away, but his hand became more insistent, undoing the buttons on the front of her gown to slip inside and caress her naked flesh. She trembled beneath his touch, wanting to refuse him, but unable to deny the cravings of her own youthful body. She lay still and unresisting as he pressed her shoulders flat onto the bed and undid the remaining buttons of her gown.

A shiver of anticipation racked Leanna's slender frame as Trevor slowly spread the two sides, baring her body to his heated gaze, assessing her almost reverently. He watched his hands as they traced her breasts, her waist, her flat belly, her creamy thighs, and finally returned to caress her nipples, already puckered into tight buds.

"You are so beautiful," he breathed, bending to suckle her nipple.

Leanna trembled beneath him, stubbornly resisting the urge to arch her back or run her fingers through his thick hair. She bit her lip against a moan of pleasure and stayed motionless beneath his questing mouth. If he noticed her lack of response, he didn't react, simply moving on to her other breast to repeat his sweet coercion. His hand drifted down to explore her soft folds, and he found them already moist and swollen, attesting to her body's willingness. He stroked her, and this time Leanna was unable to suppress a moan when he slid two fingers into her scalding heat.

"My sweet little whore," Trevor murmured as he scraped her nipple with his rough whiskers. "You're so lovely and wet for me. Spread your thighs for me, my angel. I want you."

Leanna groaned with frustration, as she complied. He hadn't said he loved her. He only wanted her body, and though she hated to admit it, her body wanted him desperately too. Even if her mind and her heart would have liked to refuse him, she found herself surrendering once again.

Trevor knelt between her outstretched thighs and entered her with one long, slow thrust. He let his head fall back on his shoulders, as he luxuriated in the velvety softness closing around him. He fit inside her so perfectly, it was pure ecstasy.

Their lovemaking was fast and passionate, not taking long for them to find their mutual fulfillment, and he withdrew from her almost at once. Trevor brushed a fleeting kiss across Leanna's temple and turned over on his back to fall asleep beside her. Her throat ached with unshed tears as she watched him sleeping. She desperately wanted to curl against his side as she usually did, but her pride wouldn't let her.

Instead, she curled on her side facing away form him. She wondered forlornly if she had made a terrible mistake by accepting his proposal. Surely it would have been preferable never to have met him than to spend an entire lifetime loving him desperately but knowing he would never return her love. The knowledge that she was unable to resist his touch, even knowing that he didn't truly care for her made her want to curl up and die. She finally gave in to her tears, and quiet sobs wracked her slender shoulders as her husband slept beside her, sated and oblivious.