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"My cock likes you," he said. He kissed her, then stretched out on his back. Mary faced him, her head propped up on her elbow.
"Do you work tomorrow?" she asked.
"Yes. It will be busy, Memorial Day and all. What are your plans?"
"I still haven't unpacked everything. I'll probably work on that most of the day."
"Well, put the condoms somewhere you'll remember."
Mary playfully slapped his chest. "Will you stay with me tonight?"
"Yes, I will. But there's something I ought to tell you."
"What?"
"It would have been perfectly fine for you to paddle a kayak around yesterday. I just told you that so I could invite you sailing instead."
She laughed and gave him a kiss. "Make that the last lie, mister."
"I will, Mary."
"Good. I'm exhausted."
"You come by it honest," he said, taking her in his arms.
Mary nestled her head against his chest. As she drifted off to sleep her last waking thought was that he smelled like the breeze over the ocean. Alvin kissed the top of her head and joined her in slumber, his consciousness fading on a memory of a beautiful girl on a bicycle.
- COMMENTS
Goldustwing13 days agoThis is a nice start to a long series, your writing style is highly polished and so easy to read.
DwarfLord503 months agoGreat start to this story. For a story with this many chapters, I was surprised they had sex on their first date. Not complaining, just surprised.
Comentarista829 months agoI found it curious that of the 4 places named Londonderry, that there's not one in ME (MD/NH/OH/VT), so I have to assume it's purely fictional to capture the Maine "flavor." I didn't even know there were 2 different lobster rolls (the other being in CT). I also wondered about the year this took place, since the first call centers came about in the 1960s, and the first one in ME was opened about 1993. Perhaps it's not that important, but I like to spot-check things.
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One (not major) thing I'm consistently noticing is lack of hyphenation, in words that are compound adjectives before nouns.
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So, Mary is a redhead, which I must assume explains her being so forward with Alvin (aside from the story stating she felt safe with him 2/3 into their sailing excursion), but I certainly never thought the story would entertain them coupling on the first date (perhaps that's the "nod" that would peg the story at 1993). Alvin's equally forward with her, especially in inviting her to sail with him and in meeting his two daughters (her age). I thought that would have made her back off on considering intimacy so soon.
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You created much sympathy for Alvin, by writing his wife dying at 35, of an aneurysm no less. However, I ask why she didn't share her father dying of cancer, so as to balance that conversation out? He shared some very personal information with her and for her not to share equally seemed like...cheating the process. We as readers don't know why she ended her marriage, aside from a cross-country move? That's really something we need to know, given the story reveals far more about Alvin's personal life than Mary's. We even know he's a leg man and that she's really pretty, but she's far more mysterious to the reader.
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You described the bike ride well, including the sailing and difference in air temperature on the water vs. land. You detailed the local landscape and scenery well, helping us feel much of the same.
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I will continue reading the series, as you packed it with significant charm so far. I hope future installments will reveal far more about Mary, to balance what they're discovering about each other, as I posit had a little more personal connection via talking occurred, that would have better segued into Mary asking him to sleep with her. 4
Anonymousover 3 years agoVery relaxed descriptive start - much like Maine. Seemed to capture the Maine flow with your words and conversation. Moxie. Not for a long time. What a taste! Daddy issues? Not this one, I expect. Too few years between, for one. Nice start! Anonymous, but not by choice.
