Mask of Pain Ch. 02

In the morning, I had breakfast in my room, adorned my turquoise outfit and mask and sat patiently in the sitting room contemplating the information I'd learned from Dean and Kara until Solon's heavy footfalls alerted me to his approach.

"What is this?" he asked, his footsteps halting in the doorway.

"I believe I have an execution to attend, my lord. Your father invited me, remember?"

"You really wish to see me murder someone? I didn't think you were that cold."

"I don't have to watch," I said, pointing at my mask. "It's solid. I just have to listen and see what I can find out for you."

"Fine. I won't be coming back to the suite for a while, though."

I stood, nervously smoothing out the material of the silky gown, expecting it would be wrinkled from the wait. "Perhaps I should spend the afternoon with Lord Barev's concubines then."

He must have accepted this suggestion for he made no further comment. Grasping my hand, he led me out of the suite.

At first, Solon's long strides were urgent; and I was pushing to keep up with him. I started to slow my pace, fearful that if any of his agitation from the previous evening remained he wouldn't care enough to make certain the path ahead of me was clear of obstructions. I kept a tight grip on his gloved hand as I felt him pull ahead.

"Please?" I softly begged. "Slow down."

Instantly his grip on my hand tightened, pinching my delicate fingers within the bulk of his glove. He growled, but muffled it quickly.

"Fine." Solon's iron grip loosened again.

Our pace slowed to manageable then progressed to an almost casual stroll as we continued. "Thank you," I said after several long moments, when it appeared that he'd settled into the new speed.

"Where are we?"

He said, "We're going to the ship control room."

He hadn't answered my question exactly. "Why?"

Sounding gruff, he replied, "I have things to look into."

"Is it far?"

"You didn't have to come."

"I shouldn't ignore a command from your father," I whispered, half hoping Solon wouldn't hear the utterance. I was beginning to believe just the sound of my voice caused him great irritation this morning.

The noise of computer blips and humming machinery, coupled with a low vibrating sensation through my mask, made it easy to pinpoint the moment we entered the control room. Though I couldn't see them, I could literally feel the electrical devices that surrounded us. The fact that all other sounds ceased immediately, led me to believe that our appearance had been noticed by the personnel on duty.

"Lord Solon," a Sulai voice said, sounding strong, yet distant and muffled by the noises around us. "You honor us with your presence. How may we be of assistance?"

Solon continued forward, pulling me with him for several urgent strides before dropping my hand. I reached, but did not catch hold of him as he stepped away. Unsure of the path, I stopped, trying to stand tall and confidently despite my uncertainty.

"Commander Rashk," Solon responded, "though my father has had me on special task for some months now that does not mean I am disinterested in the activities of my soldiers, the fleet, or our operations on the planet."

"Of course," Rashk replied, his tone pleasant, but not exactly brimming with respect. "I didn't believe otherwise."

"You haven't sent me a report in weeks."

"I apologize. Lord Barev hinted that you might be... distracted with the chore of choosing and training your woman."

Solon's hesitation was brief, but even I knew it was the precursor to an eruption. My hands clenched the seams of my skirt. I held my breath; and my eyes closed tightly in preparation.

The strike was loud enough to carry above the machinery. I flinched, all too aware that Solon wore gloves and it must take considerable strength to hit someone that hard.

"Lady Isleen is none of your affair; or my father's."

There were hushed mutterings of disapproval all around me; and I believed, from the quick snatches of conversation between the Sulai, that they weren't surprised by the behavior of their leader's son.

"You will have the latest progress reports available for me to review by the end of the day," Solon ordered Rashk, who from the sound of shuffling, must have been climbing back to his feet.

Solon did not wait for an agreement or a challenge from the commander. He returned to me, taking my hand and drawing me urgently out of the room. The heavy door slid shut behind us and the vibration in my mask ceased, leaving a tingling sensation deep in my jaw, cheeks and forehead.

I wanted to comment to Solon about the vibration and after effects, but thought it better to not speak at all as he was dragging me along again, crushing my hand within his own.

Beneath his breath, Solon was cursing in an odd mix of English and Sulai. I hoped he was working the anger out of his system, but even after several moments, his tension did not appear to diminish.

"Hey," I said, pulling back on his hand and planting my feet to make my point. He came to an abrupt stop, drawing near enough that I could feel the rise and fall of his heaving chest beneath the thick material of his uniform. His breathing echoed within his mask. I decided to continue before he could respond.

"You made your point to Rashk," I said, trying to be soothing. "Don't let it bother you further."

"He thinks he can take my place," Solon growled.

"But he can't. You are Barev's son - not he."

"Barev likes Rashk. He speaks generously of his accomplishments."

"He still is not you."

After a few moments of heavy silence, I heard his breathing even out. When he spoke next his tone sounded much more like sadness. "No one wants to be me, Isleen."

He moved away, the grasp of our hands the only remaining connection. We started walking again. In a few minutes Solon passed me over to Dr. Gahn when we met him along our path to the execution chamber.

"He seems weary," Gahn whispered to me as we followed at a distance behind Solon's footfalls.

"We've been fighting again," I admitted quietly. "None of us got much sleep last night."

"Why do you do this to him? He's been very generous to you under the circumstances."

I shrugged, choosing not to mention Rashk or anything Solon just confided to me.

We arrived; and suddenly Solon was back at my side to guide me into the chamber. As before, mutterings started and stopped as I passed through the crowd on his arm. Oh, how I prized the energy the two of us stirred up together, the emotions we caused in others with nothing more than confident strides, chilling costumes and the unknown underneath.

"Do you love their fear of you?" I asked Solon in a guarded tone.

His arm stiffened under my hand and I thought he might not answer civilly. Perhaps it was because we were in public that he did not lose his temper with me. A moment later, Solon greeted Lord Barev, who took me by the arm and placed me in a seat at his side. Solon took only a moment to lean close, his mask scraping lightly against mine, to whisper a simple, "Yes" to my question. Then he was gone, his heavy footfalls lost in the noises of the crowd.

"Dood morn-in-ing, Is...leeeen," Barev said to me, taking great care to pronounce the syllables of my name correctly.

"Good morning, my lord".

"Oo been to ex-e-cute-shen before?"

"No," I answered truthfully.

All around us were the sounds of people conversing and shifting about. I got the impression from the way every little noise seemed to reach us, that we were somewhere near the center of the chamber.

"What is Solon going to do to him exactly?" I tried to keep my unease from filtering out with the question.

"Cut head from bah-dee. Nuag choose way die."

My heart tightened in my chest at the thought. How could anyone choose to have their head cut off? I didn't dare to ask what the other choices were for death.

Someone closer to Barev began to speak in Sulai so I focused on the words as the crowd continued to chatter around us. The voice spoke of a report that had just come in about a possible discovery of a rebel camp.

"Good news," Barev said boisterously in Sulai. "You can brief me after the execution."

The speaker headed away, the crowd quieted and suddenly Solon's was the only voice audible in the room, addressing those gathered in Sulai. "Honorable Sulai, today we execute a man who has neglected the duties of his station. You trusted him to provide healthy women to have your children; and instead, he allowed many of you to choose infertile mates. He failed to protect your future; and, therefore has forfeited his life."

Even with some preparation, I still felt the rising dread inside me as Solon finished speaking and the crowd called out their anger. It hadn't occurred to me that the accused was not already present, but this mistake was remedied when the crowd suddenly got much louder, their furious remarks rebounding off the walls and ceiling, seeming to bombard me where I sat at a focal point of the room.

Immediately, I wasn't so sure I could sit through the execution. Even without my vision, I believed I would experience too much from this act of violence; and didn't welcome something more to keep me parted from my sleep at night. Unfortunately, there was nowhere to go and no way to plug my ears.

"Have you any last words, Nuag?" Solon asked the man, who had not made any sound of distress that I could determine.

"No," was his emotionless reply.

"Then you accept this sentence and my duty to carry it out?"

There was no response to this question, but apparently none was really needed.

"Secure him," Solon ordered and there was the sound of a brief struggle before the soft buzz of a Sulai pulse-sword filled the air a short distance in front of me.

I fidgeted beneath my cloak, slipping my hands under my outer thighs so that I wouldn't ring them in view of those around me. I wanted to drop my head, pull it closer to my core and focus on not hearing, but I knew I had to maintain the façade of the supportive concubine. With great effort, I steeled my shoulders, neck and jaw and tried not to hear.

The buzz moved swiftly through the air, deepening its sound as it sliced through flesh and bone, then regained its usual pitch as Nuag's head landed heavily on the hard floor.

The crowd cheered and screamed; and I turned a deaf ear to their calls, wanting very badly to take back the last couple of seconds and spend them somewhere else.

Luckily, Solon was not interested in hanging around. He was soon at my side, taking my arm firmly and helping me to my feet. "Please take me home," I pleaded as loudly as I dared. "I don't feel well."

"Solon, come to my rooms. We have news of a rebel camp. You and I will discuss plans," Barev moved closer to tell him over the roar of the crowd.

"I will, Father, after I take Isleen back to my quarters," Solon said.

"Bring her," Barev insisted. "My women like her. She is good company for them."

I tried not to groan, cry or whimper, even though I wanted to. I expected Solon would follow his father's wishes and disregard my own.

Meg was the first to realize something was wrong as she pulled me into their circle a short time later. "What is it, Isleen?"

"I'm not feeling well."

"Are you ill?" another girl asked immediately.

"I'm just a bit nauseous after the execution this morning," I said, trying to dismiss the need for concern with a wave of my hand. "And, I haven't been getting much sleep."

"He keeps you up, does he?" someone asked with a noticeable astuteness to her tone.

Somehow I didn't realize she was hinting at something until Meg asked hesitantly, "How is he?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, not really thinking of what they might be inquiring.

"Well, Lord Barev says Solon has a wicked temper," Meg said. "We wondered if he is... gentle when he takes you."

My still fading nausea was reawakened in that moment. "I don't think I should be talking about this," I said quickly, trying not to sound panicky.

"We're not trying to get you in trouble with him," Meg insisted. "We are just concerned. Everyone is scared of him."

"Yeah, and you know more about him than anyone," a girl at my left elbow stated. "If you needed to talk, we'd keep your confidence," she promised. "Women need each other to talk to."

There was a chorus of agreement, which only made me feel worse. I should have realized that this would happen. Curiosity ran strong among groups of gossipy women.

"I'm sorry, I don't feel right. He is a very private person. I just can't defy him like that."

"How can you be so loyal?" another woman chimed in. "He blinded you."

I quickly guessed that I had disappointed a good many of them and perhaps strained the relationship I was attempting to build. My head drooped as I contemplated not only their words, but the true concern I could sense within them. "I have given my oath to him."

Again this answer was not happily accepted. "Why does he make you wear a mask? It's cruel," a much older voice said from across the gathering.

The continuing questions were beginning to anger me. "Because I am scarred," I blurted, feeling the oddest sense of relief in admitting what wasn't an exact fact. In truth, the mask hid that I wasn't blind, but even Solon had told Lord Barev that the mask was for covering my scars.

There were gasps from several of the women and Meg's arm slipped around my shoulder to pull me closer. "We're so sorry," Meg said; and I thought I heard her begin to sniffle.

Despite the power I wielded in that moment, I knew I'd gone too far. My next move should have been to tell them about the beating at the detention center, but suddenly someone else was speaking.

"I've heard some masters are like that," the very young voice said.

Another woman said, "On the other ship where I lived, Sulai soldiers would sometimes come into the detention center. The administrator would let them beat and rape the girls that weren't as pretty as the others. It made me sick."

This story brought up several more and as the topic snowballed, I found myself more interested in listening than putting the spotlight back on myself.

"We are lucky to have Lord Barev as our master," Meg said to me. "He understands how easily he can hurt us if he isn't careful. He lets us use our hands and lotions to get him erect so that the hard outer skin will slide back. Then we only have to take the softer part of him into our wombs."

I was shocked, embarrassed and strangely intrigued to hear this information. Certainly sex was a topic often discussed at the detention center, but I'd never heard anything exactly like Meg had just described.

"Really?" I said, unsure of my true interest. "Doesn't the rest of his skin hurt you though?" I assumed it must as I'd felt Sulai skin contact my own before. Even a firm grip could scrape away the top layer of your flesh, let alone the beating I'd endured.

"Lord Barev uses oil to soften his touches on us," Meg said. "He takes care to be gentle."

Several voices spoke up, agreeing with her words. "He prizes us," one girl said.

"He is insatiable," shared another with a giggle.

"He never sleeps alone," Meg added, sounding awed and very fond of her master. "Perhaps Lord Barev has not shared these secrets with Solon."

"I doubt they really talk about that sort of thing," I said immediately.

"Would he listen if you told him?" Meg wanted to know.

"No, I don't think he would," I said, then added quickly, "I'd feel better if we discussed something else."

Slowly the topic turned away from sex to art, which should have lifted my mood, but couldn't under the circumstances. Then, all too soon, Solon came to collect me and the room was even quieter than the day previous. It was a guilty, suspicious silence that increased my uneasiness even further.

"Bye, Isleen," Meg dared to call out just before Solon guided me from the room. I flinched like I'd been stung, but did not call back to her. I thought I felt Solon's posture momentarily stiffen as well.

"Have you found out anything useful?" Lord Solon asked when we were back in his suite.

I had pulled off my mask and suddenly wished that I still donned it because a flush of color quickly covered my features as I recalled the personal information shared by Barev's concubines. "Well..." I felt obligated to tell him something, "I found out why your father has so many concubines."

"Probably because he bores easily or likes all the attention," Solon said with a tone of amusement and started to turn away.

"Actually, the women say he is insatiable. At least one girl every night, they claim."

He turned back, inclining his head in consideration. Then he righted himself again and shook his head slowly. "I should have guessed that you'd never get anything useful from that group."

"Oh, I don't know," I said, assuming a playful tone that I'd never used with him before. "They might have taught me a handy thing or two."

Kara swept into the room, looking hopeful, yet uneasy to be in the same room with us. "What handy thing or two?" she wanted to know.

There was no way I was going to tell Kara what I'd heard. So, I started to laugh and was surprised to hear a deep chuckle from Solon too, probably guessing the sort of information to which I referred.

Kara turned toward him with a disbelieving look on her face. "Didn't you kill someone today, my lord?"

Solon's posture straightened and the laughter quickly died. "Yes, I did," he admitted quite seriously.

"Then why are you laughing?" Kara's tone gently scolded.

Solon pointed in my direction, not that Kara would see the gesture. "We were just talking."

"And not fighting for once," I added, feeling that was a fact worth mentioning.

Before Kara could prepare her retort, Dean was announcing that a late lunch was being served in a few minutes.

"Good. I'm starved," I called back, heading for my room to change my outfit and find my blindfold. Thankfully, I was mentally blocking Kara's reminder about the execution; and wouldn't let it interrupt my good mood or ruin my appetite.

-----

Food that had very easily gone down at dinner, forced its way back up early the next morning. I threw up for several minutes until there was no longer food in my system. Then I was left with violent dry heaves that sapped my energy and tortured my stomach muscles.

Kara stayed with me through the worst parts then put me back to bed until Dr. Gahn arrived shortly before breakfast. The old Sulai took only a few minutes to look at me and ask some questions. He ordered me to stay in bed, drink lots of fluids and rest. For Kara and Dean he left specific orders to have everything in my room sanitized- especially my mask.

"We don't want Lord Solon catching this," Gahn said and promised to check in on me again later.

Solon had stayed out from under foot most of the morning, but showed up in my doorway before heading out to meet with Barev again. I thought for a moment he might say something, but the longer he stood there, it seemed less likely that he would.

"I'll stay out of trouble," I said, making a pretty easy promise to keep in this instance.

He nodded, such an exaggerated gesture with the bulk of his mask, and turned away. His heavy footfalls crossed to the suite door and in moments he was gone.

The majority of my day was spent sleeping. I did try drinking water or juice, only to throw it back up within minutes. Kara reported this to Dr. Gahn, who came by much later in the day to give me a vitamin injection to make up for the nutrients my body wasn't getting.

The doctor was on his way out when Solon returned. The two exchanged words in Sulai just outside my room. "Good evening, my lord. How was your day?"

Solon gave a non-committal grunt and quickly switched topics. "How is Isleen?"