Mason Ch. 03

"I'm here because my wife insisted and it's turning out to be a good thing that she did," James said. He was never too proud to admit when Toni was right, and she was right on the money this time.

"Your wife is a good doctor and so are you but, at any rate, let's see if we can figure out what's going on. Tom said that you weren't aware of any significant cardiac history, but I'm still going to order some tests, starting with the usual cardiac labs and we'll go from there. No chest pain, right? Shortness of breath?"

"No, just tired I guess, but I thought it was the flu," James replied. "I guess there's more to it than that," he added.

"I'm going to call the lab and see if they can do the first set of cardiac labs from the blood they have; if not, they'll be back."

Toni waited until Dr. Myers left before saying anything. "I know that you think that I'm overreacting, but isn't it better to know?" she asked.

James sighed. "You're right, it's just that I had planned to spend the evening in bed, making love and picking out names for our kids."

Toni moved closer to him. "And we'll do that but after we find out what's wrong, if anything is."

After she made that statement, Toni realized that she, in so many words, had just agreed to have a baby. She could only hope that James missed it. No such luck.

"Sweetness! Do you mean it? We can start talking about baby names?" he asked, sitting up in the bed.

"I...I guess so," she replied.

She had never given any serious thought about having children. When she was a little girl she didn't play house or often play with dolls, except for when she used them as patients at her imaginary hospital. She hadn't even developed an interest in the opposite sex until she was in high school. Even then, school had always come first, and if the guy couldn't handle that then she'd dumped him. Now she was going to talk about having a baby.

She sighed and studied James, noticing that when he was relaxed his color was better, which made her wonder about anxiety. "Sweetheart..."

"Uh-oh," James said.

"What?" Toni asked.

"You only call me that when you're up to something, so what is it? And please don't tell me that we aren't going to talk about baby names," he added.

The thought had crossed her mind, but she knew that it would upset him if they didn't.

"No, that's not it. What I noticed was your color is better when you're relaxed. Have you been feeling anxious lately?" Toni asked. "I mean, aside from tonight."

"No, not really, although I really hated being at home alone during the day while you were here. Why?"

"I just noticed that your color is better when you're relaxed," she repeated as she laid her head on his chest. His heart rate was as regular as it normally was. What was going on with him? she wondered, and decided not to ask him any questions about his psychological well-being.

"So, I was thinking that we could have three or four kids," James said as he rubbed her back.

"Four? Why don't we start with one and see how that goes?" Toni replied. For some reason motherhood frightened her and she didn't know why.

"Are you agreeing that we can try for a baby?" James asked.

Toni swallowed hard. "I'm saying...yes. I'm saying yes," she affirmed softly.

James hugged her and pulled her up for a kiss, not caring about the mask.

"Our baby is going to be beautiful!" he exclaimed as he hugged her again. "You're going to throw the pills away as soon as we get home aren't you?"

"I promise. Now get some sleep, midnight is going to come fast."

Toni stayed awake all night, she couldn't sleep partly because she was worried and partly because of the whole baby issue. What if she wasn't a good mother? She had no doubt that James would be as good a father as he was a husband. Both sets of their parents would be thrilled to no end to have a grandchild to spoil, and they would all help her as she learned to be a mother, but what if she couldn't?

"Sweetness, come here." James was awake and had been watching her.

"What are you doing awake?" she asked, secretly glad that he was.

James scooted over on the bed and made room for her by turning onto his side. Toni lay next to him, her back to his chest.

He kissed her shoulder and pulled her tight against him, loving their closeness. "You are going to be a fabulous mom. You'll have to leave the baking of cupcakes and cookies to me, but that's alright."

"How do you know that I'm going to be any good at being a mother?" she sighed contentedly, snuggling further into his embrace.

"The same way I knew that you loved me more than you realized. I just knew," he murmured, nibbling her earlobe. "And I just know that little Hilda is going to be a lucky little girl."

"Hilda? Are you nuts? Who names a child Hilda?" Toni retorted laughing. She felt better, but she sure as hell wasn't naming any daughter of theirs Hilda.

Mason finally went to bed after having a final drink. He lay awake for a long time making decisions, the first being that he wouldn't go back to California until he knew that Toni was within reach. Until then, he would stay put and see what the fates had in store for him. Secondly, he was curious about Eustace and whatever it was he was hiding. He closed his eyes and had the first peaceful rest that he'd had in a very long time.