tagHumor & SatireTwo Math Problems

Two Math Problems

bysparkle8©

First Problem

Two redeye jets leave at the same time, one from New York headed for LA, one from LA headed for New York. The flying distance is 2400 miles.

The plane from LA travels at 550 mph. The plane from New York travels at 450 mph (due to head winds). Assume the speed is constant from the moment of takeoff.

On the first plane, Jen is alone and thinking of her boyfriend. It's a quiet flight, and there is no one next to her, although there is a hot guy across the aisle. It's 10 p.m. LA time, and many of the passengers are sleeping. Jen can't get her mind off of her boyfriend, and staring at the hot guy doesn't help. She takes her blanket, covers herself, discreetly lowers her pants and panties, and begins to masturbate. She is quite horny, and has an orgasm every 5 minutes.

On the second plane, Hilary and Steve are next to each other holding hands under their blanket, smiling at each other. Again it's a quiet flight, dark in the plane. Steve whispers to Hilary "Would you like to become a member of the mile-high club?". Hilary gets a mischievous look on her face, and reaches for Steve's crotch. He pushes her hand away and says "this is all for you babe". He reaches up under her skirt to find that, as usual, she has no panties on. He begins to diddle her, and she begins to have orgasms. Hilary is so multi-orgasmic that she has orgasms at the rate of one every 3.6 minutes.

Assuming that the masturbating commences immediately as the airplanes take off (that is, the first orgasms occur 5 minutes and 3.6 minutes into the flights, respectively), how many total orgasms will Jen and Hilary have had when the 2 planes pass each other in the sky? Be sure to do your calculations out to 2 decimal places, and round down your final answer, as an almost-orgasm doesn't count.

Second Problem

After landing, Jen proceeds to her hotel, while Hilary and Steve proceed to theirs. It turns out that Steve and Jen have met on the web, and have a secret cyber-sex-phone-sex relationship, unknown to their respective significant others. Naturally, Steve is immensely horny by the time they land, and even more so by the time they reach the hotel.

Hilary is orgasmed-out, and upon entering their room, washes her face, pees, throws her clothes off, and falls into bed, dead asleep in a matter of a couple of minutes. Steve and Jen had exchanged hotel information ahead of time, so Steve decides to call Jen for some phone sex. As soon as Hilary is asleep, Steve removes all of his clothes except his boxer briefs, grabs some Kleenex, a basket, sits on a nearby soft upholstered chair, and takes his hard cock out of the fly hole. He then uses his cell phone to call Jen.

"Hi, Steve. I suspect Hilary is sleeping by now, or you wouldn't be calling." Jen chuckles.

Steve whispers, "Yep. And I'm so horny I could fuck a glazed donut." The both laugh.

"Well, my clit is pretty worn out, but I can talk you through some heavy stroking if you'd like." Jen proceeds to engage in some salacious trash talk involving fucking, sucking, handcuffs, spanking, role playing, threesomes, and sex in the ocean.

Steve happens to be a man who recovers quickly from an orgasm, and can have multiple orgasms, particularly when he is terribly horny. Jen's talk causes him to have an orgasm after 7 minutes. He recovers, and continues to have orgasms exactly every 7 minutes.

Meantime, Hilary, who has sleep apnea, is snoring once every 9 seconds. Hilary emits a snore at exactly the time that Steve has his first orgasm.

Exactly 46 minutes from his first orgasm, Hilary moans and opens her eyes. Steve quickly pushes the end button on his phone, and tucks himself back into his briefs.

"Hi, Hilary. I was about to take a shower. Want to join me?"

During that 46 minute period, what is the grand total of orgasms and snores that occurred? Remember to round down, as there can be no partial snore or partial orgasm.

I will watch comments to see your answers. The first person to get both answers right gets a complimentary lap dance at the club of their choice from the gender of their choice :-).

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(Answer is 314)

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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous04/11/16

grandma's math

problem one: One orgasm each.
Flying is orgasmic.
Problem two: One snore, one come. No dude is that good.

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by sparkle803/23/16

Congratulations

Anonymous got both problems right. Your lap dance is in the mail😄

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by Anonymous03/22/16

Excellent submission

In the airplane - almost 69. But not quite... Great answer.
Kudos for a well-designed problem.

In the hotels - 7 and 307 (counting those at the start of the 46 minute period).
(So, 100 pi?) Thanks formore...

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by Many_Memories03/22/16

I took a couple of minutes to finger it out --

Like the constipated mathematician, I had to work it out with a pencil... The crossing point took place east of Kinsley, Kansas. (A sign on the west side of that town states it is half way between Newmore...

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