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"I would be so delighted," I heard Valentine say with such enthusiasm that I really believed him. "I wonder too ... if I might presume? Might I request a private audience with Miss Maud ... Miss Jermyn?"
"By all means," I was even more astonished to hear Mama cordially agree to this proposal, than when she told the story about it being her health which had led to our visit to Dr. Jones. "If you are walking to the park just now, you might take her for a short constitutional. It was overly warm in the doctor's waiting rooms and Maud would benefit from the fresh air. I will drive round in the carriage and pick her up on the other side of the park."
Confused and flustered, rosily blushing, conscious of my dishevelled hair under my bonnet, I accepted Valentine's hand to help me step out of the carriage. He handed Mama up into it most courteously before turning to offer me his arm. My legs were still a-tremble and vestiges of darting feelings shooting in my body from Dr. Jones's treatment. I could not help giving Valentine a shy smile as we set off along the busy pavement, my gloved hand resting in his strong arm.
A sweet disorder in the dress
Kindles in clothes a wantonness:—
A lawn about the shoulders thrown
Into a fine distractión,—
An erring lace, which here and there
Enthrals the crimson stomacher,—
A cuff neglectful, and thereby
Ribbands to flow confusedly,—
A winning wave, deserving note,
In the tempestuous petticoat,—
A careless shoe-string, in whose tie
I see a wild civility,—
Do more bewitch me, than when art
Is too precise in every part.
Picture of Valentines card.
- COMMENTS
NaokoSmithabout 8 years agoAuthorThank you so much for these lovely comments. I'm really delighted to hear that my work on the Victorian tone of the writing gets that right. I normally write fantasy as I'm too lazy to do historical research so this was a bit of a venture for me. I am very grateful to Bramblethorn and Bt's wife, and to commentators here, for support with some of the historical details.
I'm also grateful to Aussie for pinpointing that he wasn't that turned on by the 'sex' scene. For me, and I suspect many other women, although an actual smear test is uncomfortable and no fun, a medical fantasy about being closely inspected 'down there' is a thrilling fetish. Aussie's reaction explains to me why I didn't get the score I was looking for with this story - strokes for folks; I can see that some might not have been that turned on even if they found this a well-written story, so justifiably marked it down.
As the score is a bit lower than I'd hoped, I am particularly grateful for this kind feedback about the quality of the writing <3
Aussiescribblerabout 8 years agoThe voice of the repressed young Victorian woman is very well conveyed and the psychology of her responses to her surroundings and the "medical treatment" seem very believable.
For myself, I don't feel a great deal of romance or eroticism in the story, more a witty presentation of a social reality of the time, but that is worthwhile in itself. I think the hints of eroticism which are there lie in Nurse Smith's puncturing of the seriousness of the treatment. Otherwise it would be too clinical to be sexy. And when it comes to romantic feeling, it is hard to feel a strong wish fulfilment identification with Maud when she doesn't know what she is wishing for. But her confused state of mind is somewhere that a conventional romance wouldn't take us. And I'm glad I went there.
Anonymousabout 8 years agoThis is very well done. This very convicingly reads like it was written by a ,Victorian, upper class repressed lady. Very good writing.
I am not sure that it needs to be extended as some have suggested. We can imagine what happens next, she accepts his proposal, is a virgin on her wedding night, her mother tells her to "lie back and think of England"' but Maud ignores this and has a wonderfull time. We don't need the author to spell this out for us.
One point, my reading suggests that Victorian doctors adminteringi "pelvic massage" concentrated on the clitoris and avoided the vagina completely. Sex was seen as entirely vaginal, stimulating the clitoris relleived hysteria but was not seen as sex!
GriffyD_Boyover 8 years agoI think this should have gone longer. It would liked to have seen where Maud and Valentine's relationship goes from here. As a romance story it seems a lot like this is only the start rather than a complete whole. What is here to read was fun though.
