May to December Ch. 04byDawnJ©
Later that evening, after they had eaten the lasagna his mother had brought, with salad that Dawn prepared and the rest of the wine from the evening before, he sat with her in his favorite armchair in the living room listening to his favorite Chopin pieces. They talked about everything, from the boys' schools he was sent to, to his stint in the army, where he decided he wanted to become a doctor, to his years of medical school. They talked about his desire to work for the good of mankind, about the missed opportunity to do a stint in the Doctors Without Borders program, about his dream of opening a free clinic in his native land for the homeless. They talked about his dream of becoming a surgeon, though he hadn't yet decided which area he would most prefer to work in.
"You've led a very interesting life for such a young man," she commented. "I'm impressed!" She dared to kiss his cheek, and Scott turned his head so their lips met.
"You move me so easily," he remarked, trailing his lips across her cheek to her ear, where he nipped the lobe lovingly. He returned to her mouth, kissing her deeply, the heat between them building again as though they hadn't slaked their thirst for each other earlier.
"Let's go back to bed," she whispered, and stood up, holding her hand out to him. She wanted him to see she was trying to meet him halfway, to remove the roadblocks, as he had called them, that stood between them.
Scott took her hand and walked with her upstairs, closing the door quietly behind him. He switched on a lamp, and then turned to her, determined to test her newfound confidence.
"Undress, baby. I want to see you!"
Dawn struggled with her innate shyness and lack of confidence and stripped the T-shirt and sweat pants from her body. She was naked underneath, and she realized he had not paid attention to that fact till that moment. His eyes widened, and his nostrils flared, as though he were a wildcat scenting the air for prey. She watched him clench his fists as he remained where he was, just drinking her in with his eyes. She could feel her body flushing from his unwavering scrutiny, and she bit her lip, struggling to keep from using her arms to cover herself.
"You're so damned sexy, baby!" he said finally, reaching for her and enveloping her in a tight hug, pressing his jeans-clad erection against her naked mound, holding her bottom in his hands and pulling her into him.
Instead of the denial she would normally have voiced, Dawn whispered, "Thank you!" and kissed his lips, a fleeting caress that he deepened, demanding entry to her hot mouth and devouring her.
"I want you all over again, baby!" he said, releasing her. "Help me undress so I can have you."
He hissed when she reached for the waistband of his sweats and her fingers brushed the skin above it. They had him naked in under a minute, and both fell back to the bed, where he straddled her, kissing her from her eyelids down to the lush mounds of her breasts. His mouth was hot with need, and she arched beneath him, moaning at the pleasure of his mouth on her.
"Let me love you now, baby," he begged her, and spread her legs so he could push into her.
She groaned as she raised her hips to let him in, and then she threw her legs around his waist and gave him back thrust for thrust, matching his hunger with her own, giving up her whole self to him. Their orgasm this time was long and sweet, and neither knew when the other fell asleep, but Scott woke first, enjoying the feel of the warm woman wrapped around him, before untangling himself from her sated body. He went to answer nature's call, and returned to find her rolled on her side, waiting for him.
"What time is it?" she asked, her voice still husky with sleep.
He glanced at the luminous face of the clock. "Almost five," he answered, and crawled back into bed beside her. He drew her warm body up against his, her back to his chest, his semi-erect cock between her cheeks. "Still sleepy?" he wondered, letting his hands roam over her flesh tenderly.
"A bit, yes," she answered, a smile creasing her cheeks. "You can't still be..."
"I told you, it's been a while for me," he replied, sliding his fingers between the lips of her sex. "I won't do any more than this, I promise, okay? Just let me enjoy touching you."
Dawn relaxed, and tried to settle herself back for another nap, but Scott's hands on her clit and in her clenching vagina made that impossible. He was not doing more than fondling her and laying feather-light kisses on her face, neck and shoulders, but she was soon wound so tight she thought she might burst.
"Scott, please!" she begged him at last.
"Please? What do you need from me? Tell me!" His voice was hoarse, a sure sign that he was not immune to what he was doing any more than she was.
"Stop teasing me!" she exclaimed.
"Teasing? I'm in deadly earnest, honey." He bent his head and kissed her lips lightly, swiping his tongue across them before going back to plunging his fingers inside her.
"Oh...oh God! Scott, please!" she groaned as he drove her closer to the edge. "Please take me!"
He inhaled deeply, a shuddering breath, and lowered his head to suck on a nipple. "How do you want it this time, baby? Hard and fast, or slow and easy?" His cock was a rod of iron behind her, leaking precum, ready to do as she bid.
"I don't care, just do it!" she hissed, rolling her hips as he finger-fucked her.
Scott lifted her leg and pushed inside her, suddenly unable to hold on to the careful control he had been exercising so far. He had not meant to take her again so soon, but her passion called to him, and he was powerless to refuse her anything she wanted. He fucked her hard, deep, fast, and they both crashed in burning flames of desire and emotion. They lay together, his leg between hers, out of breath, reaching for control. Neither could deny that they were forging ties they could not break without hurting the other.
"Sleep now, honey!" he said at last, his voice low, and he felt her body grow heavy against him. He knew he would not sleep again, so he just lay there and let her steal his heart completely. He had known her less than a month, and he knew there was nothing he wouldn't do to keep her. She was his – his dream woman, the one he had been waiting for all his life. He just needed to get her to see what he saw when he looked at her. He just needed to get her to trust him, to know that he would never do anything to hurt her, that she was the center of his attention. He knew he would always want her body, that even the thought of her would arouse him, but he wanted her to know she was more than just a means to slake his insatiable appetite for sensual pleasure.
He waited till she was sleeping again, and then slipped out of bed and went to take a long, hot shower. After dressing in faded jeans and a ripped old tee, he went downstairs to see about breakfast for them. He felt a deep contentment as he pottered around in his kitchen, and when he heard her showering, he smiled at the memory of the shower they had shared. His body stirred, but he ruthlessly suppressed it, knowing she would likely be sore. He had all the time in the world to make love to her, as he intended to become a permanent feature in her life.
He went quietly up the stairs, breakfast for two on the tray he carried, and walked into his bedroom to find her bent over, rubbing lotion into her skin. His cock jerked, and he grimaced. He would not take her again. She needed space. So did he. He could do this. He said good morning in a soft voice, so as not to startle her, but she swung round anyway, her eyes wide and wary, and he saw her grab the bra on the chair and turn away to put it on. Her breasts were a temptation he could barely resist, so he let it slide, grateful to her for helping him keep his unspoken word to give her some room.
"I brought you breakfast," he said quietly. "Why don't you get back into bed, so I can treat you like a princess this morning, hmmm?"
Dawn smiled at him tentatively, and replied, "Why don't I just sit in the chair, and you can give it to me there? Or, even better, why don't we go back downstairs and eat in the kitchen?" She reached for her dress as she spoke, and pulled it over her head.
Scott waited till she had smoothed it down her legs before asking, "Leaving without your panties, Dawn?"
She blushed furiously, and he set the tray down, and went to hold her steady while he kissed her hard, punishingly. She struggled against his hold for as long as it took her to feel the way his body was hardening against her, and then she answered his hunger with her own, surrendering to his dominance.
"You keep pushing me, baby, and testing me. When are you going to stop? Or is this your way of asking me for more? Hmmm? Maybe you want me to get a bit more physical with you? You want me to spank you? Hmmm?"
Scott's voice was so hoarse it was almost a growl. He couldn't stem the tide of emotion that had him hauling her up against his chest and palming her bottom, smacking her twice, hard, and loving the way she moaned, as though she liked it. Her body jerked against his, and he groaned and smacked her again, and then let her go.
"Breakfast is served!"
He watched her sit gingerly on the chair, and spared a moment to hope he hadn't really hurt her, and then he served her toast and hardboiled eggs, with butter and jam, mango slices, and orange juice.
"I'll get the coffee now," he announced, and left her to eat in peace.
He was so hard he ached, and he waited till his body cooled before taking the coffee pot and mugs back upstairs. She had eaten all the mango slices he had given her, and the eggs, and was sipping the juice when he walked in.
"Thanks for breakfast, Scott," she said, smiling at him with heat in her eyes as she watched him.
"You're welcome!" He snagged an egg and ate it, avoiding her eyes for the first time, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist the invitation in them. He sat cross-legged on the floor beside the chair. "No toast?" he wondered.
"I like to dunk my toast in my coffee," she answered, smiling shyly, and he chuckled.
"No jam, then, I'm guessing," he said, and smiled when she shook her head.
They ate in companionable silence, and when the tray was empty, and they were on their second cup of coffee, she asked him what his plans were for the day. He looked up then, right into her eyes, and watched the heat steal over her features.
"You know what they are," he replied. "But you seem to have other ideas. Let's hear them."
"We could talk..."
He interrupted her. "We have talked...about me. You ready to talk about yourself?"
Dawn stared at him before replying, aware that she had left herself open to that response, and recognizing that it was only fair that she should be forthcoming about herself, as he had been.
"We can do that, if you like," she conceded with a small smile.
He stood up, unsmiling, and took the tray with all the breakfast things downstairs. Dawn followed him, uncertain of his mood, and watched him deal with the dishes. When he was done, he turned to her, his eyes unreadable.
"Where do you want to sit?" His question and demeanor were cool. Dawn bristled, and found herself thinking that she should have known better than to expect maturity from a child. She was a heartbeat away from expressing the sentiment aloud, but something made her bite her tongue. Instead she turned and walked away to the doors that led out to the patio. At that moment, the last thing she wanted was to be close to him.
"Out here is fine," she said, and stepped through them, seating herself as far from the other chair as she could. She looked out over the balcony rail to the pool below. A lone swimmer was doing laps, and she watched him, her back tense. She heard him move the chair, and turned to find him next to her, his eyes on her averted face.
"What did I do this time?" he asked, his face still serious. He had a resigned air about him, as though he had given up trying to understand her.
"If I thought for a second that all you wanted me for was a roll in the hay all weekend, I'd need to leave now, Scott!" she said sharply. "I'm not an easy lay, whatever my behavior this weekend has led you to believe!"
Dawn tried to keep the hurt out of her voice, and failed dismally. Scott stared at her for a long moment without replying, struggling not to touch her, because he could feel the waves of anger and hurt rolling off her.
"I hope I haven't given you the impression that all I needed was hole to relieve myself in, Dawn," he said bluntly, dismayed at her words. "And if I did, I'm sorry." He sighed, and raised his hands helplessly. "Maybe you're right. Maybe we went too fast." He stood quietly, and turned away, saying as he went back inside, "I'll take you home whenever you're ready."
He disappeared down the hallway, and Dawn sat in shock, watching him leave, not knowing how to salvage the day. She hadn't meant to turn him away, just to make him understand how she felt. He didn't seem angry, which upset her even more, and she didn't understand her own reactions to him. She hurried after him, and stopped him as he reached the top of the stairs.
"Scott, please, come down again. We need to talk about this. Please!" She waited, her breath caught in her throat, watching him as he stared down at her. When he turned and walked back down the stairs, she let out a breath and slumped against the banister. Her legs gave way – she hadn't realized till then how weak it made her feel to think he would let her go – and she sank onto the second tread of the stairs. Scott sat one tread above her, his feet on the tread she sat on, his hands hanging between his knees, waiting for her to speak.
"I've had a few unhappy relationships with men, Scott. One of them was a married one." She felt his eyes on her when she said that, and looked up to see them burning at her. "I was a late bloomer among my peers. If you discount the fact that I was raped when I was ten years old by a boy from a neighbor's family, I didn't have sex until I was twenty-four years old. It wasn't a particularly happy experience, though obviously that made it memorable. It hurt to be deflowered again, and there was no pleasure after to make it worth my while. I stayed away from men for a while after that, especially when it became clear that he was more interested in my vagina than in me."
"Dawn, I..." Scott began, but she stopped him.
"No, I know. I'm sorry I made you think that I was accusing you of that. It's just that since Friday night, we've spent more time attached to each other than we have apart, and I was scared. I can't go back to those days, Scott. I won't. I am a woman in my prime, with the years and the experience to know what I want. And what I want is more than just hot sex."
Scott reached out and stroked her hair, then bent his head and kissed the top of hers. "Okay," was all he said, and then he waited for her to continue. He noted that she didn't talk about the rape, and he decided that he had probably better not ask. But it burned his gut to know that she had been violated as a defenseless child. He struggled to keep the tension from showing in the hand stroking her hair.
"I had three other relationships before Hunter, none of which did much for me aside from occasionally giving me a companion at social events. They were nice enough guys, but I didn't love them, and after a while, the novelty wore off. They may have been great lovers for other women before me, but they did nothing for me. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of orgasms I had with any one of them. We drifted apart each time, in the last case because I went by to visit him and found him in bed, literally, with a girl younger than me, and much more acrobatically inclined than I was. I realized that I was happy with the way things went. Then Hunter came back."
"The one you married?"
"What do you mean he came back?"
"Hunter and I had known each other since we were kids. He had been my first, 'boyfriend', my first date, my first kiss. He was two years younger than me, but he had always pursued me, and by the time I began working on my Masters degree, he was more interesting than any man I had encountered to that point. He had enlisted in the Marines, and done his stint, and was back to finish his college degree. He was intelligent, handsome, sexy, attentive – everything a girl could want in a guy."
Dawn felt a subtle shift in the air and looked up to see Scott watching her with a dark expression on his face, his shoulders stiff, his hands tense on his knees.
"He's dead, Scott. He's not your rival!" She saw the shock in his eyes, and added, "He was my best friend, even after the divorce, and when he died, I was devastated."
She felt Scott's hands on her shoulders, pouring comfort into the light massage of them that he began. She eased back, and rested her spine against his leg.
"We should never have gotten married," she continued. "We loved each other dearly, and always had, but after the first few years, we both knew it had been a mistake. The sex was always missing something that neither of us could name, and when he met Cindy and fell for her, our lives changed forever. I was miserable, he was miserable, she was miserable. He told me about her, and how he felt, on the same night he left with her. They had apparently talked it over, and decided that that was the best thing to do. His suitcases were packed, and he just walked out to her car and left. His car was in the shop, and that was the reason she was there."
Even now, talking about it hurt. Dawn rubbed a hand over her chest absently, unaware that she was trying to soothe the ache.
"I was furious with him. I didn't speak to him for more than a year. He came and got the things he had brought into our home, and I locked myself away until he had left. He called, he left messages, he sent notes...I burned them, and deleted his messages. I was so broken."
Scott squeezed onto the tread next to her and pulled her to him. "Baby, you don't have to go on." His voice was cracked with emotion. She looked up and saw the pain for her that was reflected in his eyes, and she hugged him back.
"I'm okay, honestly. His mother finally forced a meeting between us, and after I stopped hitting him, I collapsed in his arms and we bawled our eyes out." She smiled, remembering how they had hugged each other till the storm of weeping had passed. "He told me he was sorry over and over, that he had never meant to hurt me, that I knew he loved me, just not in that way, but he didn't know it till he fell in love. We knew then that that was why our lovemaking always seemed slightly off kilter."
"Did you ever meet Cindy?" Scott wanted to know.
"No. I wasn't ready for that, and he didn't push it. Neither did she, apparently. The first time I saw her, and she me, was the last time we each saw him, at his funeral. She was devastated, just like I was."
"Did you talk to her?"
"No. What could I say? Sorry for your loss? He was my loss, too. He had been mine long before her. Since then, I've stayed away from men. It's just been easier, you know? I don't have to worry about hurting their feelings when they realize that they don't light my fire. I don't have to meet their expectations for what a great lover must be. I don't have to do or be anything for them. I can just be me."
Scott squeezed her shoulders in comfort, and dropped a light kiss on her head. "I did rush you, didn't I, honey? I'm sorry."
Dawn let herself relax against him. "And I'm sorry I made you feel bad. I didn't mean to. I just wanted you to understand. I'm glad you do."
"You can always be yourself with me, okay? I don't want you to feel like you have to do or be anything special for me. Just let me be with you. Please!"