Maybe Just One Good Man?

Then again -

"I'm sorry, what..."

"Sorry, you were...."

Both finally broke into nervous laughter. He stopped first, still smiling and rose from the table to go to her.

"Is your back hurting, Dee? Can I rub it for you?"

She blushed prettily again. On close inspection he only saw a light spatter of freckles across her nose and shoulders. He was glad she had some though. He'd always been partial to women with freckles. He wondered briefly, if she spent more time outside, at the beach maybe, if she'd get more freckles, and if they'd cover her.... Pushing that thought aside he realized she was answering him.

"...couldn't ask you to do that. Been having more back pain as the baby gets bigger....OOPH!"

At that moment he could clearly see the outline of a small hand, or foot pushing against her belly, followed by the slow, undulating wave of motion caused by the baby rolling.

"WOW! Does that hurt when it happens?"

"Not usually...would you like to feel?"

Not waiting for an answer she reached for his hand, pulling him closer to allow him to stand, open palm against her belly. It was, quite possibly, the most amazing thing he'd ever felt and he had nothing to compare it to. Looking down at the top of her copper tresses, her own natural perfume of clean girl rising around him, he longed to put his arms around her and pull her closer, perhaps risk a kiss, but she moved away again. Cocking her head up to angle a smile at him she rubbed her hand over the spot showing the most activity.

"Little bugger gets most active at night," she said. "I'm hoping that's not a sign of things to come."

"I dunno," he disagreed. "Seems like I remember my sister complaining about not getting a lot of sleep for a while when her kids were little."

She started to chuckle and nod agreement, but it turned to a groan as she bent forward and back, both hands now on the base of her spine trying to relieve the pressure. Making up his mind quickly he pulled her into the other room, but then realized he had no idea either where to go from there or of the layout of the house. Sensing his confusion, she piped up -

"Oh John, I'm SO sorry! Let me show you where everything is!"

Whirling away before he could protest that she had nothing to apologize for, she reached back to nab his hand, pulling him behind her on a whirlwind tour of the house. As before, he was impressed at the neatness and cleanliness of the house, from the small half bath nestled under the stairs holding a cat pan. She has a cat! Where IS the cat, he thought briefly before she'd moved on. He was surprised at her nimbleness on the steps, but then realized she probably made the trip up and down stairs several dozen times a day. Still, he hovered close behind her, prepared to brace them both from falling should she slip.

Upstairs the smaller bedroom was well on its way to becoming a nursery. Colorful homemade curtains hung in the windows and a crib box stood propped in the corner. Another rocker and a small chest of drawers, painted to match the curtain colors, completed the furnishings. Pretty sparse he thought, but functional. She's certainly done her best. Probably by herself.

"So, was Scott excited about the baby too?"

She frowned. "Well, he was young, you know. And he wanted to buy a motorcycle..."

And YOU'RE not young too, he thought angrily. Probably a good thing the little S.O.B. had died when he had, otherwise I'd have to look him up and.... Hold on a second Rocky, he reminded himself with some humor - if he hadn't died, then you wouldn't be here....falling in love with his widow and baby. Shaking his head at his own foibles he realized they were moving into the main bedroom. What he hoped would eventually become THEIR bedroom.

There was a wicker laundry basket on the floor next to the bed. Lined with towels for softness and holding a pillow in the bottom to serve as a mattress for a bassinet. He admired her inventiveness although he worried about the softness of the pillow and whether or not the baby might suffocate. At the moment though it was occupied by an enormous, long haired black cat, introduced as Shadow. The cat yawned and blinked at him widely when he scratched it under its chin. The bed itself was small - what would have been cozy under normal circumstances became barely possible with Dee in her current condition.

A clean, but tattered quilt topped the little brass bed. And an odd assortment of furnishings provided storage. Pulling Dee over to the bed and having her lay down he asked if there was some lotion or hand cream in the house. She pointed at a small bedside dresser with a shaking finger, her eyes enormous and growing larger still when he asked her to get under the covers but pull up her gown. Finally, realizing the problem he patted her on the shoulder saying -

"Just relax for a while, I wanted to try to give you a back rub and see if that helps."

Despite the fact that she had already complied with his requests, he could feel the tension flowing out of her at his words and with the knowledge that, for now at least, more would not be asked of her than she wanted to give. Rubbing the lotion between his hands to warm it he began to rub her back, pressing firmly but not too hard, trying to imagine what would feel good under the circumstances. Hearing a small sigh of relief, and seeing her shoulders relaxing even further encouraged him to continue. He did so, renewing the lotion periodically as he rubbed her back for several long minutes until a particularly deep sigh made him aware of the fact that she had fallen asleep. Covering her gently and turning out the lights he paused briefly to run a hand lightly over the copper locks spread across the pillow. Dropping a kiss lightly on the top of her head he went out to find the bedding necessary to make up a pallet on the couch.

# # # #

She came down the stairs early the next morning finding him curled up still asleep, feet hanging off the too short couch. Not wanting to wake him, she still longed to brush her fingers through his close cropped hair. He looked so young sleeping, barely more than a teenager himself. She wished there was some way to thank him. She felt better than she had in weeks, rested, and....well, safe. That's funny she thought - why do I feel so safe with a total stranger when I didn't with my own husband? Shaking her head at her own whimsies she went into the kitchen to start coffee and breakfast.

# # # #

He woke some time later to the homey smells of bacon frying and coffee brewing. Food in the Mess Hall was always good, but he missed the little things about home cooking. The eggs fixed the way he wanted them, not scrambled to serve 400 - or bacon that was just done, neither limp nor carbonized. Oh well, he thought, it was the life he'd chosen. It was simply that, now - with the possibility of having a home and family of his own within his grasp - he found himself yearning for it with a near physical ache. After quick morning ablutions in the little half bath downstairs, interrupted midway by a paw under the door trying to pull the door back open, alerting him to Shadow's morning needs as well, he made his way into the kitchen.

Dee sat quietly at the table nursing a cup of coffee, heavy with milk, while Rae Jeanne turned the bacon sizzling in the big cast iron skillet. An empty mug sat on the counter next to the coffee maker and he filled it, seating himself across the table from Dee. She started to move her chair, getting up to help Rae Jeanne, but at the scraping sound of the chair the older woman turned, shaking a spatula at her -

"Don't even THINK about it, Missy! Just sit there and rest while you can. Next few days gonna be plenty busy without you wantin' to cook and clean too. You let the rest of us do for you for now!"

A quiet tap on the back door served to punctuate her words and she opened it, nodding at the woman standing there -

"Morning, Amy..."

The woman came in, smiling at her and nodding pleasantly at him. Setting the covered dish on the counter she went to Dee's side -

"DeeDee, honey - I made you that ham/macaroni and cheese casserole you liked so much at the block party. It's ready to go, just pop it in the oven - directions are there. If there's ANYTHING at all you need, or I can do..."

They hugged tightly. Then she leaned across the table saying -

"Thank you, Gunny. We ALL appreciate your help."

She shook his hand firmly before heading back out. Rae Jeanne followed her and he heard the murmur of their voices for a moment before the little black woman came back in to finish cooking. He sat in somewhat stunned amazement, only to have the scene repeated another half dozen times during breakfast.

# # # #

The next few days passed in a blur of activity and fatigue. Rocky learned that the first few worn and threadbare outfits he'd seen Dee dressed in were not unique, all of her clothing seemed equally worn and threadbare too tight over breasts and belly - and he cursed again the selfishness of the man she'd been married to. He'd given she and Rae Jeanne his credit card and sent them out shopping - only to have Rae Jeanne hand it back to him with the receipt for one, dark colored maternity dress, suitable for the funeral. He'd nearly cussed Dee's stubbornness then but swallowed hard and reminded himself she'd never been allowed or encouraged to spend anything for herself or for the coming baby. He finally decided there was no help for it but to take her shopping himself.

At first she refused to even look at things on the racks in the stores, finally, sizing her up with one eye and comparing what he saw with the clothes on the racks he began pulling things off hangers and handing them to her - dresses, jeans, jumpers and blouses were piled into her arms before he turned her with a push and sent her in the direction of the changing room. Firm instructions were given to her to get "whatever else" she needed by way of undies, nighties and such. While she was occupied trying on clothes, he headed for the infants' department.

There he filled up one cart with things he thought they might/would/could need - diapers, both cloth and newborn disposables, bottles, towels and washclothes, thermometers, gowns and blankets, T-shirts and something called a "onesie". There were some awfully cute clothes for baby boys and baby girls, but he didn't know if she knew what she was having. An infant tub, car seat, another small dresser and a bassinet were all sent on a cart to the front to wait for his arrival. Some things he thought could wait a bit - walkers, high-chairs, playpens would not be needed immediately, although the money itself was no object. He hadn't had anyone or anything to spend his pay on for quite some time and the Corps had supplied all his basic needs. Finally he grabbed some things he thought she might enjoy - a mobile for the crib that played music and had big, cartoon-like animals hanging from it - a teddy bear made of some plush material, soft as a towel, that played music too and promised it was "Fully Washable and Stain Resistant" - some pacifiers and some rattling cloth toys completed his purchases.

He turned to look for her, only to find her standing wide eyed behind him, staring at the wonders in the cart. He noticed she had only brought one pair of jeans, a jumper, and a couple of shirts - although she did have some gowns and packaged undies. He started to suggest she try on some other clothes, or that they could go somewhere else to look if she didn't like the selection here but she laid a finger across his lips to shush him, saying -

"John - I'm not going to be pregnant that much longer - this is more than enough and thank you."

Walking to the basket and looking at some of the things it held she smiled radiantly.

"For this - I can't ever thank you enough!"

"I didn't know if the baby is a boy or a girl so I waited to get some things until you got here..."

"I don't know either - I...we wanted to be surprised... These are just fine, John - they're perfect! We can get boy or girl clothes later when we know..."

He smiled down at her, delighted at her inclusion of him in her future life with the "we" statement.

Rae Jeanne had laughed as he unloaded his SUV, the little Santa Fe weighted down with his purchases.

"Gunny, some men woo women with flowers and poetry - I take it you're tryin' diapers and maternity clothes."

That day had been a shining moment during some of the forthcoming gloom... Try as they might, neither of them were ever able to recall more than a brief moment here and there during the next days. He clearly recalled passing under the high flag, hung from a pair of raised and extended fire truck "ladders", in the hearse carrying Dee's husband and suddenly wondering if he was doing the right thing or not. And later he would be able to recall the astonishing roar of the Harleys in the motorcycle escort and Dee's quiet voice in the minister's office when he put the ring on her finger and she said "I do."

She, in turn, remembered the feel of the tightly folded flag as she had gripped it, and the sober face of the young Marine saying, "...with the thanks of a grateful nation..." And she remembered with emotions nearly as deep and moving, the feel of John's hand holding hers during the brief ceremony after - how it felt warm, dry, comforting - as though it "fit" somehow - and his voice promising to "love, honor and cherish" as long as they both lived... She found herself pondering that particular phrase at odd moments - "as long as you both shall live" - she wondered if it really meant BOTH of them, or if either of them died was the other then free to move on. She wondered if she would survive childbirth. Rae Jeanne had hugged her and assured her she would, had even said that was a common fear as you got closer to your due date. She wasn't so sure. She hoped John would be good to the baby and maybe find a good mama to raise him or her. Maybe if it was a baby girl he'd feel more tolerant and accepting than if he had to raise another man's son... She kept her fears to herself.

# # # #

John had gone to her last O.B. appointment with her. His intent had been to drive and assist and he hung back shyly in the waiting room, but the doctor, a brash young Major would have none of it when Dee handed him her purse and stood up. As the Major loudly scolded him for not stepping up to take a more active part in his wife's pregnancy, Dee flushed and began to stammer a denial and explanation. John stood up quietly, his hand in the small of her back quieted her protests and she looked up at him in surprise. Her eyes widened even further, nearly crossing when he dropped a kiss on her nose.

"It's okay, honey. The Major's right. I've been gone too long and you've had to handle too much of this yourself already."

Almost marching with resolution, she only saw hesitation on his face when they reached the exam room with the over-sized table and stirrups resembling some arcane piece of torture equipment. Even when he realized she was going to have to strip for the exam he didn't hesitate, although she felt her own fingers turning to cooked spaghetti as she tried to unbutton the side closure of the jumper she wore.

Tsk'ing at her he began to take over, undressing her with swift gentleness, never lingering or making her feel any more awkward than she did already. Talking to her about inconsequential things he focused on her face and she was enormously grateful - never realizing how excellent his peripheral vision was or how much his hands ached to stroke all of the soft hills and valleys of her form. And she had no idea that his cargo khakis hid a steel hard, throbbing cock that he longed to bury between her thighs...or lips.

He'd always thought that females, in the full flower of their womanhood, were beautiful. Unlike some men, who seemed to find pregnant women repellant, he thought they were wonderfully beautiful and mysterious...privy to some secret knowledge and understanding as they grew and bloomed. By the same token he'd never understood what some, men and women both, found abhorrent about the act of breast feeding. His sister, he recalled, had struggled mightily against both public opinion and the feelings of her husband and his family. It was, surprisingly, her own mother-in-law who was most out-spoken in opposition to her nursing until finally Meghan had given up the struggle and resorted to using the bottle. He hoped Dierdre was planning to nurse. He'd bought the bottles in case, and because he recalled that babies needed to drink water too but in his quiet moments he day-dreamed about her - flaming locks loose around her shoulders quietly rocking with a carrot-topped baby at her breast.

Focusing his attention back to the here and now he realized, with a startling surge of something like envy, that the doctor had one gloved hand on Dee's belly and the other inserted inside her...inside his wife, by God, where even he had not yet dared to venture. Taking a deep rattling breath he glanced at Dee - and her pose of impassive indifference as she stared at the ceiling discussing her eating and bowel habits was enough to assure him of the clinical nature of the moment. "Still", he thought...

Dee looked at him and smiled in reassurance as she heard him draw the second ragged breath in as many minutes, incorrectly assuming he was made physically uncomfortable by the clinical nature of some of the exam and discussion. She reached out a hand for him to hold as the doctor moved around the table, now examining her breasts and nipples, while they continued their discussion.

John winced in sympathy when he saw Dee flinching at the manner in which the doctor was pinching and prodding her breasts and nipples. His eyes widened when he saw her nipples begin leaking milk. He had no idea lactation started BEFORE the baby arrived - but then, he thought, that makes sense if Mama has to be ready to provide sustenance to them right away... He tuned in when he realized that Dee and the doctor were discussing her breasts and lactation status.

"...still want you to continue to try and get your nipples as tough as possible before the baby gets here. And be sure to wash carefully, 3 or 4 times a day for now, and follow up with liberal applications of the lanolin cream."

"Yessir, I've been doing that every day. Sometimes, sir, my breasts seem to get really big and hard and hot...and then all of a sudden..." she blushed rosily.

"Your milk lets down?" At her silent nod, the doctor continued, "That'll happen - more often after the baby arrives and your milk comes in good. When my wife was nursing just the sound of a baby crying would cause her to let down - church turned into a real challenge for her sometimes."

They laughed obligingly as he prepared to continue, coming around the table while he removed his gloves.

"All right then Gunny, Dierdre is making excellent progress. I'd be surprised if I see her back here next week. The baby has dropped now and she's thinning and effaced."

At John's blank look he laughed and said, "Means the baby has settled into birth position and her cervix, the part of her body at the mouth of the uterus which was thick and heavy duty to keep the baby in place, is now thinning out and getting ready to open to allow the baby to pass through. I'm kind of surprised really that she hasn't been complaining of contractions at all."

John had a startled thought, "Could that cause backaches?"

"Hell yes! Dee, have you been getting backaches?"

Both she and John began to simultaneously explain that she'd been getting backaches for some time, Dee adding that he'd been rubbing her back and it helped.

Holding up both hands and laughing at the barrage the doctor nodded in approval at John for rubbing her back, "Well, she's probably going to go into labor any time now. She's not due for another week and first babies are notoriously slow, but if you want to speed things up you can try 'The Italian Method of Labor Induction'. I can guarantee that usually works."