Meant To Be

They carried on a friendship for the five years he was in the military, even while he was briefly stationed in Saudi Arabia relaying air control messages to the various choppers and jets in the area.

Her letters started to come more and more slowly, despite his immediate replies to the letters. Then, out of the blue, he got a letter from her right after he had just received one. He read the letter to himself as soon as he received it. In it Rachel told him she was sorry for the slow replies, but that college had been keeping her busy. She talked about little things in her life; her part time job, how her parents were doing, grades she was getting in her classes.

The next part of the letter hit him very hard. She told him she probably wouldn't be able to write as often, although she would try to stay in touch. She had met a man in college, and had begun to date him. She talked about how nice he was, and how good he treated her. She went on for a while, not gushing, just providing information that she said, "should have been given to you three months ago."

In his reply Alex told her he was happy for her, and he wished them the best. He also told her that he could no longer write to her, but he would keep her in his heart forever. It was because of her letter that he decided to stay in the military another year to finish up some on the job training, then pursue a career rather than foolishly thinking things with Rachel could be worked out.

When she read the letter Rachel was heart broken. How could he just cut off contact with her? She wrote back immediately asking him to please not stop writing. Her letter went unanswered. She sent more, and those too were not replied to. Eventually she tried calling, but got the run around as to where he was stationed.

A month went by and although he found it very hard to just tuck the letters away unanswered, Alex continued on with his life. The last letter he got from her was a very angry one. In it she said she was happy he was not writing anymore, and that she had found happiness in her life with her new boyfriend, who could do the things he never could.

She also told him that after college she would be moving in with her boyfriend, and hopefully he would be proposing to her. Alex wrote several reply letters, but never mailed them. He went about his job in the military, and for a small while was stationed out west. Things with Rachel went unresolved and for the next year Alex tried not to give her any thought.

He was surprised to see that even as the months went by his thoughts and love for her did not go away. At night when he went to bed all he could do to fall asleep was think about her and what might have been. He took comfort in thinking about her, until his thoughts drifted to the boyfriend, and possibly future husband, she was with.

At the end of his sixth year in the army Alex decided to take his leave and accept a job offer teaching in the Annapolis Naval Academy as a non-military communications advisor. It was then that he decided to write Rachel, and let her know he would be leaving the military as soon as his paperwork went through (which in the military took no less than a month).

The letter he wrote was nice and neutral, and he tried to keep it fairly emotionless and just 'friendly'. Five days after sending the letter he got a reply from her. He hadn't expected a reply, but as he read on she told him how happy she was to hear he was leaving, and she hoped he'd come by. She gave him her address and through a series of a few other letters they made plans to meet and have lunch.

Alex wasn't sure what to expect, but as he felt his jacket pocket to make sure the letter was there and this really was happening, he couldn't help but feel that same old feeling in his stomach that told him he still loved her every bit as much as he had before they broke up. He wasn't quite sure what to expect when they met, or what she would want. All he knew was his palms were sweaty and every mile he came closer to her house the more nervous he got.

He took the east off ramp going towards the small town of Pasadena, and following her directions to the tee he found himself turning onto the street she lived on. Five minutes later he was parked in front of her quaint, three-story condo.

***

Rachel paced around her spacious two-bedroom condo, wondering if she was really going to see Alex again. It had been six years, and she wondered if she'd recognize him. The last she remembered seeing him she had remembered him as very attractive. He was much taller than her, but that was ok because she loved tall men.

Feeling her anxiety setting in more and more, she went back to her bedroom to look herself over for the tenth time today. She checked and made sure her make-up was nice, soft and not overdone. She preferred the natural colors rather than the bright, eccentric colors most girls of her complexion wore. She also remembered how much Alex loved how she did her make-up, so she tried her best to look just as she used to for him.

She tugged her skirt down, trying to obtain just the right fit of her clothes. She wasn't sure if such a short skirt was appropriate for the occasion, but she had to feel attractive to make up for the lack of confidence she had at the moment. In truth she looked very good in her mid length skirt and deep blue shirt that showed off just the slightest bit of belly when she turned a certain way.

Walking back into the living room she went to the stereo, making sure she had a nice CD in the player just in case they got around to listening to some music. She decided to put in Tom Petty knowing how much he had liked listening to his music. She also took the liberty of lighting up some incense just in case the condo had a less than pleasant smell.

As she lit the incense stick and set it in its holder she went back into the kitchen to put the lighter away, when she heard a knock at the door. She drew her breath in and prepared to see her first love again

***

Alex held the roses in his hands, white ones because the lady had told him white was a good color to give so that you did not give off the wrong impression. In his other hand he held a small teddy bear, the one she had left at his house before he had left for the military. When he had made plans with Rachel to come visit he had also called home and made sure to have the stuffed animal sent to him. He knew how much she loved the little plush toy, and hopefully how much she'd like to have it back.

He stood; tense, wondering if he should maybe knock again, when he heard footsteps coming to the door. This is it, he thought, Remember, no expectations, no hopes. Then it happened, the door opened and he saw her, standing there. When she looked him in the eyes the light caught her gaze, and flashed back that old familiar sparkle he hd seen in them all those years ago. He didn't know what to say, but managed to find his voice and say, "Wow, you look as beautiful as ever Rachel. Here, I brought you flowers, and… do you remember this little guy?" He brought the little stuffed animal up to show her.

She smiled and let out a small laugh, she was so thankful he had started with a small joke; it felt good to laugh and not worry about to say or think for the next five seconds. She took the stuffed animal and looked back up at him, instantly feeling vulnerable under his gaze. She couldn't believe the man that stood in front of her was Alex. He looked the same, and at the same time different. He stood differently, probably from the military training, and he had a certain bit of confidence about him. His hair was much shorter, and she could tell he was in much better shape. Much better shape, God he looks gorgeous, she thought.

"Thanks, the roses are beautiful, and I'm so glad you remembered how much I loved this little thing. I don't even remember his name, but thank you Alex," she said. "Please, come in and let me give you the tour."

"Ok, that sounds great," he replied, stepping through the door. "This place looks great from the outside, and… oh wow its even better inside. You've done really well for yourself Rach," he said, giving her a bright smile that told her he meant every word he just spoke.

"Well, thank you. Follow me, let me show you around," she said, grabbing him by the arm and leading him into the living room. "This is the living room, of course. Over here we have the kitchen, although with as much as I eat out you'd think I didn't know what this room was for," she said playfully. Alex gave a small chuckled and said, "Stay in the military then, pretty soon you'll be begging for a kitchen of your own."

She lead hi around the condo, showing him her room, the spare room she used as a small office. The room was lined with books and in the far corner she had a black recliner chair with a lamp sitting to the right. "I use this room to read mostly, I also do some writing when I have my muse with me," she explained. "Very nice, I'm sure you had a very fun time putting that room together. I remember how much you loved reading," Alex said.

She showed him the rest of the house, then lead him back into the living room. They sat down and she asked him if he would like a soda or glass of juice or something. "Thanks, a glass of water would be great," he replied.

"So, tell me about the military. I know you talked a lot about it in your letters, but now that you're here let me hear it all from your mouth," she said. He caught her gaze and felt his heart drop.

They made small talk, and he told her all about the military. About his early days in boot camp and how his rampant attitude had earned him the pleasure of being ordered to stand in a pitch black room full of black widows spiders for three hours straight, and how he had once laughed when a drill instructor had scolded another recruit. That little outburst, he said, had earned him the experience of having to stand in formation for two hours holding a huge smile the whole time. His face had hurt for two days after that incident.

Rachel laughed and listened to all his stories, until finally he quieted down and asked her about how her job was going and what her plans were for her future. "Oh, to be honest I really haven't given it much thought. The hospital has me working pretty flexible hours, and nurses' aids are always in demand. I definitely want to stick with medicine, but I don't think I ever want to pursue a career as a doctor or anything. To be honest I think I could be happy being a nurse for the rest of my life. Long term plans for my outside of work life I have no clue, I just bought this condo a year ago so for now I'm going to be here," she explained.

They were quiet for a little while after that, until Rachel got up and hit the play button on the stereo. All at once Alex heard the familiar songs of Tom Petty softly playing in the background. Rachel sat back down, and Alex smiled at her with the friendliest smile he knew how to give.

"Tell me something, Alex. Did you think about me a lot when you left? Did you give any thought to what it would do to us?" Rachel asked, looking him in the eyes at first, and then averting her look as he returned it.

"I thought we agreed beforehand that we would not talk about this," he said to her. "I… I know we did, but I have to know Alex. I thought about you everyday. I thought about what I said to you the last night we saw each other, and when I think about I still cry," she replied with sincerity.

"I thought about you everyday Rach, most of the time I couldn't sleep unless I thought about you. I thought about the mistakes I made, and what I did to hurt you. Its in the past now though, all we can do now is try to keep a friendship," he told her as he himself had to look away.

"So, you want to remain just friends?" she asked him, starting to feel her emotions rising and the tears coming on.

"I think it might be for the best, yes," he replied. When she heard him say that she instantly teared up, and rose to leave. As she walked by him she felt his hand grasp her gently on the wrist, and he pulled her to him. She fell onto him, straddling him and bending down to kiss him passionately. Her hand reached out and stroked his cheek, and she felt his hands slide up her legs, up under her skirt, and to her hips.

She moaned softly, remember why it was she loved his hands. So gentle when they had to be, and commanding when she needed them to be. He kissed her with passion, sliding his tongue passed her lips and into her own mouth, finding her tongue and massaging it with his own.

His hands roamed over her legs, up to her hips, and then went further back, to feel the smooth skin of her ass. She drew her breath in, but did not break their kiss. Their tongues danced together as they touched and caressed each other. Quickly and without warning he pulled her skirt up, bunching it up at her waist. He broke their kiss as he did, to look at her beautiful body. He was both shocked and glad to see she wasn't wearing any panties, and where her small tuft of hair had once been she had now shaven herself clean.

He looked up and their eyes met. He gave her a slight smile, and she returned it before bending down and kissing him once again. She felt his hands moving over her lower body, over her inner thighs, causing her to shudder and whimper slightly. She wanted him to touch her sex so bad, and she began to grind her hips against him, rubbing her pussy against his hardening cock.

The more she grinded the more urgent his touch became. His hands roamed over her, grasping at her inner thighs, until he finally moved them up and began to touch and massage her moist inner lips. She let out a cry, and grinded against him harder. His fingers roamed over her pussy, finding her entrance and sliding in slowly. She moaned loudly and bit his lower lip before kissing him hard, thrusting her tongue deep inside his mouth.

She kissed and licked over him, to his ear, and whispered silently, "Oh God, I've dreamed about this for so long. Please don't stop, don't ever stop. I need you so bad Alex. God I need you, don't ever stop touching me." He responded by driving his fingers inside her harder, and she let out a cry. His fingers worked inside her faster, and one of her own hands went down to help him. She rubbed her clit hard, feeling her sex getting even wetter by her own touch.

She moaned loudly, then grinded against his fingers. "Oh fuck, I'm going to cum Alex, don't stop. Make me cum, Make me fucking cum. Oh yes," she screamed as his fingers worked fast inside her. "Alex… Alex… oh I'm cumming! Alex I'm cumming!" she screamed as he felt her body go into convulsions as her pussy tightened against his fingers.

Her orgasm was so intense that she lost her senses for a couple minutes, and when she was finally able to make sense of her surroundings she felt herself being carried. She opened her eyes and saw she was straddling him as he walked her to her room. Once on the bed he began kissing her again as he tore off her shirt. Fuck it, she thought, I didn't like that shirt that much anyways.

They spent the rest of the day kissing, and touching each other's bodies. He kissed her so passionately that she thought she was in heaven. His touch was so soft, and he knew just how to drive her crazy. She wasn't sure how long they kissed and fondled each other, but eventually she fell asleep in his arms as he kissed her neck and ran his hands along her body.

***

Rachel woke up disoriented and sore. Her sex ached and for a second she couldn't figure out why, until the memories of the days earlier events came flooding back to her. She lay there on her side and smiled, knowing Alex was there with her. She let out a small sigh and turned to wrap her arm around him, but felt only an empty bed.

She sat up, thinking maybe he got up to use the restroom. She put on her robe and walked out into the living room, still not seeing him. She walked through the rest of the rooms, and when she did not see him anywhere she began to feel sick to her stomach. Where could he be? Had we woken her up to tell her he was leaving?

She was beginning to feel almost panicky, and she couldn't understand why he'd have left, until she saw the note sitting on the coffee table in the living room. Picking the note up she read it to herself, and instantly began to cry. The note read:

I'm sorry Rachel, but this is all too much to deal with right now. Knowing you're engaged to be married and that this could never go any further than a one-night stand is more than I am willing to handle. I am sorry for what happened earlier, I just let my emotions get the better of me. It would be best if we didn't see each other anymore so this will not happen ever again. I'm so sorry, I never meant for us to do anything besides be friends.

-Alex

Rachel cried for the rest of the day as she read the note over and over again. If only he knew the truth, she thought to herself. She should have told him before they even went into the bedroom, she should have said something, but she was too busy being happy.

She got up, and staying undressed she decided that she wasn't going to just let him walk out of her life again. She would take a shower, compose herself, and go tell him the truth. She wasn't about to let the only man she ever loved walk out of her life for the second time.

After her shower Rachel decided she'd wear a pair of black shorts that she felt showed off her ass really well, and a pink short-sleeved shirt that read Naughty on it. After dressing and doing her make-up she dug through the pile of letters she had saved from Alex and found the one where he had given her his off base apartment address. This letter was over a year old and she hoped he still lived there. Oh well, we'll find out soon enough, she thought.

Minutes later she was driving towards his apartment, which was located only about forty-five minutes away. Back when he had sent the letter she was almost temped to drop by the apartment at a time when she knew he'd be off base, but had decided not to since she wasn't sure where they stood in their relationship together.

When she arrived at his apartment she sat outside for half an hour trying to decide how she would approach him. She wasn't sure if the direct approach was good, whether she should just blurt it out, or if she should ask to come inside and give a lengthy explanation. In the end she decided the best thing to do was be direct, but polite. "At least that's the plan," she said to herself as she got out of the car.

When she got to his door she paused for a second, having momentary second thoughts. He may not even live here anymore, or its possible he wasn't even home. She let out a sigh, ignored the butterflies building in her stomach, and just reached out and pressed the doorbell without giving herself time for more second thoughts.

It felt like she was standing there for eternity, even though it was only a few seconds before she heard the deadbolt on the door sliding back and the door opening. When the door opened she half expected to see some stranger, but there he was, standing in front of her.

Alex gave her a soft look, then said a simple, "Hi, I kind of expected you. Not this quickly, though. Rachel I know why you're here, but please, you know that it's not good for us to see each other. We obviously still have feelings for each other, but you're going get married for…"

She didn't give him to finish his sentence; she knew where he was headed so she rushed to stop him. "Alex, listen to me. I haven't been completely honest with you. Yes I did see for a long time, and yes he even proposed to me. I said no, because I never stopped loving you. Every time I tried to get intimate with him all I could think about was you, and I could never go through with it.