Meant To Be Ch. 08

He removed his clothes quickly and stepped in beside me, lifting me to sit on the small ledge in the shower stall. He carefully washed my limbs and body, then shampooed my hair with gentle massaging motions until I finally felt the tension fading. I traced the bruise on his forehead lightly and he gave me a tremulous smile. He washed himself quickly, rinsing us both off, then wrapped me in a large towel. He carried me to the bed but I stiffened in panic when he started to lower me onto it.

"I'm just going to get the tea, love," he said softly.

"Don't leave me," I implored.

I hated how weak I sounded, how helpless I felt. I didn't know what to do about it other than maintain some physical contact with him, so afraid that without him as my anchor I would be adrift forever.

"Okay," he whispered, carrying me into the kitchen.

How he managed to prepare and serve the tea while holding my hand or with one arm around me at all times, I don't know. He did it, though, and we slowly walked back to the bedroom with our mugs. He tucked me in and climbed in next to me, holding me securely. I vaguely remembered him taking my half-finished cup when my head began wobbling. I woke up several times in the night, startled awake by some dream or spark of memory of the evening's events. Each time he was still wrapped around me and would whisper soothing words until I drifted back into a restless sleep.

When I woke up and saw that it was early morning, I didn't allow myself to go back to sleep. Nick was breathing deeply, still holding me securely, and I just lay there watching him until he woke up. There were circles under his eyes but his features were relaxed. I studied each line and angle of his face, the soft curve of his lips, the dark hair tumbling over his forehead. His eyes fluttered open and he looked puzzled for a moment to find me watching him.

"How do you feel?" he croaked.

I gave a small shrug, but smiled at him.

"You saved me," I whispered.

A shadow crossed his face and his gaze faltered. I ran a finger along his bottom lip.

"I love you," I said.

His lips curved into a tentative, pained smile and he tucked me into him. "I love you, too, pet."

We moved slowly, getting up and getting dressed. Nick made breakfast but I couldn't eat much of it, despite his many entreaties. We took a cab to the hospital, our hands joined. I saw Gwen's parents as soon as we stepped off the elevator. Doug and Ellen had been like second parents to me for so many years, and the sight of them huddled together in the hallway made my heart drop. They looked up at the sound of us walking toward them, and Ellen made a beeline for me, catching me in her arms.

"Christ, Cassie -" she said, her voice breaking. "I'm so glad you're okay."

I felt another set of arms around both of us and heard Doug murmur his agreement.

"How's Gwen?" I asked when they released me.

"She's going to be fine," Ellen said. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," I said quietly. "This is Nick," I added, reached around for his hand. "Gwen's parents," I told him. "Doug and Ellen."

They exchanged subdued pleasantries before Ellen pointed us in the direction of Gwen's room. Nick and I slowly pushed the door open, trying to be quiet. I stopped short at the sight that greeted us. Drew was sitting on a chair next to Gwen's bed, leaning to her so closely their heads were almost touching. One hand was gently stroking her hair, the other resting on her bed, his fingers laced with hers. He was looking at her tenderly, and there was a small smile on her lips. We paused in the doorway, not wanting to interrupt. They saw the movement of the door and turned to us simultaneously, wearing matching smiles of exhaustion and happiness.

I returned the smile, tears springing to my eyes. Hurrying to her side, I tried unsuccessfully to blink away the tears.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered to both of them. "I'm so sorry he did this."

"It's not your fault, dummy," Gwen rasped, her voice weak and hoarse from the smoke. She grabbed my hand. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "You? How bad is it?" I asked anxiously, looking over her body. She had bandages on her arms and across her cheek.

"It's fine," she said.

"Do you need anything?" I was quickly losing my battle at keeping the panic at bay.

"Just sit with me for a minute," she said, squeezing my hand. She glanced at Nick and Drew. "Do you guys mind...?"

Nick kissed my temple and Drew gave her hand a squeeze before they left us alone.

"Gwen," I whispered in agony, dropping into the chair. "I am so sorry."

"It's okay, Cass," she said firmly. "Really. Please stop worrying about me. What about you - what did he - what happened? No one's told me anything."

I shook my head, the tears overflowing. I lowered my head to rest on our joined hands.

"It's fine, he didn't have the chance to really do anything."

"That fucker," Gwen muttered, patting my head.

She let me weep until I was able to stop, at which point I realized she was crying silently. I sat gingerly next to her and hugged her. The men returned to find us like that, both sniffing and shuddering slightly from the after effects of our tears. We didn't stay long; Gwen insisted we all go home and rest, including Drew. Her parents crowded around her bed as the three of us left.

"Can we do anything?" I asked Drew as we exited the hospital.

"No, but thank you," he said. "I'm going back to my place to check out the damage."

"Do you want us to come with you?" I offered.

"That's okay. But after that - if it's okay - I was thinking I'd go to your apartment? I could really use a shower."

"Of course," I said quickly. "I'm going to be at Nick's, but make yourself at home. And call me if you can't find anything, or whatever."

"Thanks, " Drew said with a smile.

"I'm really sorry," I repeated.

"Cassie, it's not your fault," he said sincerely.

Nick's hand was on my back and I felt him increase pressure, a silent confirmation of Drew's words. I nodded glumly, knowing now matter how much I heard the words I wouldn't believe it. We were silent for the entire journey back to Nick's. He deposited me on the couch and started rummaging through my suitcase, which was still lying on the living room floor.

"I thought we could just watch the telly and relax," he said, sifting through my clothes.

"Okay," I murmured.

He knelt next to me and held out a pair of yoga pants and a lightweight sweater. I couldn't help the smirk that twitched on my lips. I shook my head at the clothes and he lowered his hands. I wiggled out of my jeans and shirt, unhooking my bra and slipping it out from under my tank top.

"Come here," I said sleepily, patting the couch.

Nick shucked his pants and shirt and curled up next to me.

"I'm so sorry this happened, love," he said softly, his voice uncertain.

I shrugged. "Me, too."

"Do you want to talk about -"

"No," I interrupted quietly. "Not now - not yet."

"Okay," he said in a soft breath.

He slipped his arms around me and I gripped his hands, squeezing my eyes shut as if that were enough to block out the waking nightmare that was suddenly my life.