Guilt-Free Fantasies

"Who were all of those men?" she thought. She had recognized some, but not all, especially whomever was the kingpin. "And that girl, and what they were doing to her", she reflected in a somber way until she realized that despite her shock and fear, she was thinking what it would have been like to be her. A fluttering of excitement resonated throughout her body and a tinge of eroticism struck. Shame felt like the right reaction but instead she was filled with anxiety and hope; a hope that somehow, some way she might become the next "victim." She dwelled on this thought, especially her characterization of the victim and again became more aroused as she entertained the idea of being pinned down, slave to these abnormally trim and strong men, her husband being one of them.

Cindy made her way to the breakfast area and began fixing eggs, bacon and toast for herself and Jake. Perhaps maintaining the status quo might help her avoid the obvious and likely uncomfortable conversation about what she may or may not have seen last night.

"Morning beautiful," Jake said as he entered the kitchen. "Mmmm, bacon. I love bacon." And he smiled half to be pleasant and half to avoid this discussion as well. He couldn't assume that Cindy wasn't there for longer than she appeared to be. The fact is that the timing of her entry was far too close. He would have to accelerate his plans. He would need to meet with the chamber to propose the phasing of his wife.

"It was good to have a guy's night, but I am sorry that your plans got cut short. Did you at least have a few drinks?" Jake prodded in an attempt to determine how long she had been watching.

His question temporarily distracted her from her immediate concern of what the hells was going on. The only reason she saw anything last night was because every one of her friends flaked on her, and at the last minute.

"No, no one even showed up. I never even went inside. I don't get it and I am kind of pissed at them. It was like they we all in on this 'screw Cindy' evening' or something."

Jake unknowingly raised an eyebrow, "None of the girls were there? Did you hear from them?"

Cindy had eventually heard from them, receiving texts on the way home and remembered that she was in no mood to read them while driving away from a what could have been a fun night; it was only until she had started entering her home that she saw the one urgent message, the final one from Eloise saying "Don't go home'". She did not share this with Jake, while she tried to connect the dots of what was going on in her house last night, and what the fuck did her friends know about it.

"No, I heard nothing from them," she finally responded after her delayed thought. Feeling anger, frustration and confusion Cindy was now beginning to shut down and physically close in on herself. She hadn't realized that she was now all but slumped over in her chair with her face in in hands, just on the edge of tears.

Jake recognized that Cindy must know more than she was letting on.

"Hon, when you came home last night, did you see anything out of the ordinary?" he asked.

"Out of the ordinary," she thought, "how about fucking crazy!" She remained slumped over and wept a little at the thought.

"Sweetie, it's OK, I need to..." he started.

"You wanna know what I saw? I'll tell you what I saw. I saw you manhandling a young woman. I saw you and your so-called friends torturing some poor girl, and..." she paused. "And, well, you seemed rather pleased with yourself."

And with that, Jake knew that now was the time,

Chap X

Jake moved to the chair next to his wife and put his arm around her gently as if consoling a child who had just found out that Santa wasn't real. His tenderness was sincere and though she couldn't look at him, she felt a sense of genuine concern. He rubbed her shoulders and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. He then retracted from this position and sat upright in his own chair, using his hand to coerce her face to look directly into his eyes. As she trained her gaze onto his, she again saw him fade into that look, that character that she had seen the night before. In seconds, his skin grew taught around muscles that were not his own, a body that resembled perfection, yet she could still see into his soul.

"I know this has all been confusing, but I needed time to think about how to tell you this, since it sounds crazy..unreal. Do this for me. Have you ever heard of lucid dreaming?" he asked.

She had. It was actually something she used to do with some of her sorority sisters. Cindy and her roommate Robbie had both signed up for an ancient religious studies class. Though Cindy was waitlisted, Robbie got in. Robbie, a traditional farm girl from the Midwest, was at first glance naive, but as you got to know her, you realized that she merely had a zest for life that transcended normal mundane collegiate activities. She absolutely loved the material she was learning and was enthralled by one idea that was called 'lucid dreaming'. The professor trained that if you could slip into a light sleep, you could gain almost complete control over the dream. And though it was a mere mention in a plethora of ancient religious rituals, Robbie couldn't help but wonder what it was like. So about once a week, Robbie and Cindy would try to experience lucid dreaming using some of the techniques she had learned in class. Nothing really worked, though they did learn to slow their breathing to such an extent that oxygen deprivation provided for some "out of body" like experiences. Robbie's desperate path to discover the secret led her to experiment with hallucinogens to better facilitate the process, but this only ended up facilitating her exit from school. Her focus on finding new and powerful hallucinogens led her on a path towards destruction, a path that Cindy did not follow. Only weeks after leaving the sorority, she had heard that Robbie had joined up with some traveling hippies, and she never heard from her again.

"Is that what this is all about? You are trying to control your dreams?" Cindy asked.

"Sort of. You see, I, and we, have learned that lucidity arouses the soul and reveals the truth. And the more you practice, the more control you can obtain, especially over those you are closest with. You see, right now in this moment, just right now, you are dreaming. I am dreaming. I don't mean to say that you've been asleep all morning, but at this instant, we are both in a dream. I thought it would be better to show you then to tell you."

And like a flash, Cindy noticed that the room was just slightly off, and all of her senses seemed heightened.

"I wanted you to not just hear about this, but see it with your own eyes."

Jake went on to explain and show to Cindy what he knew, which wasn't everything, about what he referred to as "elucidation". He did so by relaying the same story that was told to him, and had been handed down for centuries.

"Many centuries ago around the 12th century there was a nomadic group living near the coast, west of the Byzantine Empire. A single man by the name of Alexandro, a Spanish explorer, had been separated from the battalion he was traveling with for weeks and was carefully wandering the war torn area in an attempt to regroup with them. Alexandro would travel a little each day in different directions searching for his companions. Each night he would return to a bluff on the hillside where he believed he could not be spotted, which was especially important at night. Despite his desperation, he was able to appreciate the beauty of the land and its contrast to the bloody battles that it had hosted over the years. His small camp overlooked a valley where each morning the fog would settle creating a thick mist. He had heard stories of Gods from the orient, and each morning would somewhat sarcastically give thanks to Kasugami, whom we believed was their god of Mist and Fog. After weeks of searching for his companions, he got more and more comfortable where he was settling. There was plenty of game, vegetation and fresh water. This is the life he was fighting for, so he began to make peace with his faire.

"One particularly windy day, the mist that usually covered the valley was lifted and he saw what looked like a large camp or village. He observed them for hours and marveled at their seemingly peaceful existence. As day turned to night, the members of the village assembled around a large bonfire and began what appeared to be a ceremonial offering. But the ceremony wasn't familiar, or better yet, didn't look like a ceremony at all. Each time they would sit in a circle, find comfortable positions, and then slowly fade into sleep.

"At first, Alexandro thought they were indeed just sleeping, but he continued to observe them over the next days and they didn't do this every night. Mostly they would sleep outside under the stars or in makeshift shelters. On the nights when they held their ritual, after a few hours into the ceremonious sleep, they would all rise simultaneously and almost congratulate each other in some sort of quiet celebration.

"Once when Alexandro was tending to his camp, and still attempting to observe the tribe, he was discovered by a child. The child startled him, and stared for what seemed like minutes. Alexandro tried to coax the boy over, trying to draw him in with some sugar that he had.

"Come over, I won't hurt you." he attempted. But the boy still stood still, paralyzed in fear and wondering whether to scream or run. Alexandro took a bite of the sugar cane and smiled ear to ear in an attempt to present a friendly face, but the boy ran, and he ran fast. Alexandro chased him, unsure himself, but probably trying to stop him before he got back to the camp to reassure the boy that he didn't mean to harm him or anyone else. He didn't want to give his position away. The lands were a dangerous place and more often than not, nomads were well aware of the atrocities that the foreign invaders had wrought on their land. Unknown to Alexandro, this village had not yet been visited by any outsiders. This he learned while chasing the boy unconsciously all the way into the valley and the center of the camp. Now it was Alexandro's time to freeze, and he did, halting his quick run swiftly, and left standing alone among the people.

"Fear poured over Alexandro as he imagined what would likely happen next. Surrounded by the very men and women that he had been spying on over the last weeks, what was to happen next was anyone's guess, but a good guess would include pain and or death. As he turned slowly almost to allow the men and women to take inventory of his unnatural presence, he attempted a smile and a little wave followed by "Hello".

"One of the men rose to his feet and walked over to him, standing toe to toe, but never changing his solemn expression. Alexandro was still, and began to tremble. His instincts took over and he reacted by moving into a defense stance as the man in front of him raised his arms high wailing out loudly, "Geia xénos!" and lowered his arms around Alexandro, squeezing him tightly. He held him for several moments, not allowing Alexandro enough time to figure out what was going on, much less make a decision on whether to stay, run or fight. The man, who appeared to be the leader, released him and took a step back looking him up and down with a delightful smile on his face and said softly "Sas kalo̱sorízoume sto cho̱rió mas."

"Most of the remaining people now also got up and approached Alexandro with similar but less grandiose embraces. Each gave a welcoming gesture, a pat on the shoulder, a squeeze of the torso, and even a kiss or two on the forehead from some of the women. They led him to the area where he had previously watched over their activities and coached him to sit.

By now, Cindy was paralyzed by what she was experiencing. The story Jake was sharing was unfolding before her, as if she was right there as is was happening. "Jake, ... how..."

"Honey, remember this is a dream. I will finish the story and you will understand."

Jake continued, "After Alexandro sat, they all ate and drank and the few children that were still around were ushered into their shelters for sleep. Nighttime arrived and they were all still sitting in a circle when the tribesman that originally greeted him suddenly stood up. He slowly walked around the circle of men and women, touched them gently on the head as if to give a blessing. With each touch he whispered "ef̱cháristo óneira" to which each member responded in kind "sas ef̱charistó̱, Modric" and would bow their heads, leaving them trained on the fire before them. When he reached Alexandro, the tribesman surprised him and said in his own tongue "Pleasant dreams", to which Alexandro responded without thought "Thank you Modric".

As Alexandro stared into the fire, a mist began to gather quite densely around the camp making it difficult to see clearly. But as his eyes adjusted, he was pleasantly surprised to see all of the people that were sitting with him, were now laughing, singing and dancing. Their appearances had changed as well. The brutal reality and evidence of surviving the elements that had been obvious only moments before was now replaced by colorful clothing and clean and smiling faces. Alexandro was quickly swept up in the euphoria that swirled around the group. He was happy and without care, a feeling that was overwhelming given his circumstances only hours before. He felt a part of a humanity that he had not known existed."

Jake paused as Cindy took in the celebration that she was seeing, though for some reason she sensed that she and Jake could not be seen. Cindy walked over to whom she believed was Alexandro to take a closer look. His eyes were a deep blue and he was in quite amazing shape all things given. She reached out to touch his arm, but her hand connected with nothingness.

Jake approached Cindy with a little flair for fun and effect by walking through the center of the bonfire, "When you are in a state of lucidity, looking into someone's thoughts from a far in time or space, instead of experiencing someone's reality, you are only observing. We are not really here so we cannot be seen and we cannot be hurt."

With that, the dream faded away and Cindy and Jake were back in their kitchen nook, having breakfast just as before.

"Alexandro is a distant relative of mine. This is his home. He left it and all of his knowledge to us so we can share the joy of elucidation with those we love. And I love you Cindy."

Chapter X

Cindy sat, dumbfounded and paused while her thoughts raced around the story she just heard from her husband. There was so much to take in. And at the same time, it sure explained a lot that had been happening over the last few weeks. She didn't quite know where to begin.

"Jake, I'm not sure what you are telling me," she inquired.

"I know this isn't easy, and in fact, I had only learned about it when we moved into this house. I was rummaging through the attic one day and I discovered what looked to be an old strong box. It wasn't locked and I was actually hoping there might be some remnants from my uncle, you know, something fun to read, or somehow learn more about him. He was known as an eccentric, and since most of our family is rather reclusive, I felt I was bound to discover something interesting.

"When I first opened it, I was a little disappointed as it was mostly filled with nick-knacks that were pretending to or hoping to be antiques someday. You know, a few candle holders, and old doll, and what looked like real stuff from the civil war period. But as I dug deeper, at the bottom I found this journal and I started reading it immediately. I read this story, the one I just told you, and immediately thought it was fictitious. I mean, who wouldn't, right? However, my uncle documented how to enter into 'lucidity'. You know, like what you told me you and your college roommate had tried? Well, it was pretty detailed, so one day I went for it.

"Not everyone can achieve lucidity, or what some call lucid dreaming. Somehow it's in the DNA. Not some magical chromosome but rather how the brain is organized. So, it turns out that it runs in my family pretty far back, and now I know you have it too. All you have to do is find a relaxing atmosphere, one where you can find enough comfort to be able to slow your breathing down to the point where each breath takes several minutes. I had to practice this for a while, and at first it was hard, especially since the smallest sound would rattle me. And that is usually the case which is why when we get together, we create a somewhat ceremonial atmosphere. If you can get there, and you create the experience in a consistent setting, it is much easier to remain in that state. Candles, music, chanting, we've done it all."

Cindy remained wide-eyed as she continued to listen to Jake. She was beginning to believe that this was real, especially since she thought that somehow she had been a part of these dreams. And that didn't make any sense.

"But...I didn't do anything like slow my breathing or dance around candles. Wasn't I in your dreams? You told me I was," Cindy asked somewhat cynically.

"Ah, yes. Over the last few weeks I've been trying to expose you to this little by little. It is possible for some to get, let's say, "pulled in" if they are within a reasonable proximity of someone who has entered the lucid state, and if they have the ability. The process can be sped up and more powerful if you taste their .," Cody paused as if he hadn't meant to have started his last sentence. Embibing one one's blood is hypnotic and he had made sure she had a taste a few weeks before. Cody knew that now was not the time for that detail. Trying not to seem befuddled he continued.

"The more people that are participating, raises the likelihood of entering. At first, since we were so close, in our bedroom, it was rather easy. I didn't expect you to come home so early lsat night, and because we were..," Jake paused. "Because there were a number of us, you slipped in quickly. I am surprised I didn't notice you though."

"I was hiding Jake. I was scared. I mean what were you doing with that woman," she thought back to the event of the previous night. "And who was that guy that was talking funny, the guy that everyone seemed afraid of."

"Actually, now that I think of it, you were going to get pulled in if you were within 50 yards probably. Because not only were there numbers of us, but Modric showed up, and Modric is very powerful."

Cindy remembered that name, but couldn't place it immediately, even though she had just heard about him. She cocked her head to angle, and squinted a little as if this would help her remember.

"Modric was the leader of the men and women that Alexandro's distant relative met centuries ago in Spain, remember?" he hinted.

She did now. Was she losing it? She had just listened to this story Jake had told her.

"It's OK," Jake responded as he sensed confusion and a little fear in his wife, "it's a lot to take in."

"He seemed mean, and you all seemed like he was a problem. And wait, if that was centuries ago, how is he still here."

Jake dropped his head a little, showing signs of concern and worry and softly shared "We don't know. He found us about a year ago. At first he was kind. He had the aura of a benevolent leader of some sort, and behaved like one for a while. But then he turned a little wierd... a lot weird actually. His ability to attach to our lucidity was uncommon. We'd move from place to place and see if he was following us, but he wasn't. He was clearly taking joy in fucking with our dreams and it was pissing us off. When we confronted him he got real pissed off. That's when he told us, in not a very humble way that he was Modric and if it weren't for him, we wouldn't be there. We're beginning to learn ways to hide and when that doesn't work we have developed a few tricks to push him out."