Meeting Master, Meeting Myself

The Dominant asked me to give him my panties, holding out his hand as he asked, already knowing that I would not demur. I handed the Dominant my plus-sized white cotton panties, and the Dominant asked if the crotch was wet. I quietly responded, "Yes, Sir," although he was already holding the panties at arms' length and sliding his fingers down into the crotch to test my answer. I did not understand then that one of the nuances of submission requires the submissive to verbalize and own her submission to the Dominant. I do remember that I stood proud and unconcerned about any passersby or what they might see. Even on that, my first experience of submissive expression, I already was wholly focused on the Dominant, anxious that I please him as much as my inexperience would allow.

Satisfied with my truthful answer, and recognizing that we were standing next to my car, the Dominant assisted me into my car, handed me back my panties, and thanked me for the evening. Just as the Dominant walked away to return to his car, before I put the key in the ignition, I received a call on my mobile telephone. My uncle was calling to update me on the arrangements for my aunt's funeral, which I would be attending later in the week. It was the first time I had spoken with him since her death, so I kept the car parked in order to see how he was doing and to express my own feelings of loss and grief. The conversation went on for some time as we remembered my beloved aunt, his wife of over 60 years, and discussed the three-hour drive I would be making to be with him to say "Goodbye" to her.

I was caught up in our conversation, so I was surprised when a tap came on the driver's window. The Dominant had delayed his departure to ensure that I was not having difficulty with my car, and I was struck, yet again, by the thoughtful courtesy the Dominant exhibited in everything he did. I explained to the Dominant that I was taking a call, but that all was well, and thanked him for his concern and, again, for dinner. After I concluded the call, and left the parking lot, I realized the Dominant had stayed in the parking lot until he saw me safely on my way home.

Before returning home, I had a brief stop to complete the errand that I had used as an excuse to be out for the evening. Even though my time in the store was brief, my awareness of walking around amongst strangers without my panties on was extreme. This was the first time I had ever been out in public without wearing panties. The feeling was new and unusual to say the least. That feeling was not based in any fear that anyone in the store knew I was without panties. Rather, my knowing it was more than enough to pique my excitement and increase the flow of my sexual fluids from my cunt down to my knees, soaking through the thin fabric of my pantyhose.

I do not recall making my way home. Once there, I cared for my dogs for the night, and went immediately to bed. When I was lying alone in the dark, my mind replayed the evening from beginning to end. The sexual juices that had begun filling and leaking from my cunt when I heard the Dominant's voice for the first time continued unabated, although my body began to relax for sleep. The sexual tension from spending time with someone so dynamic and exciting prompted me to masturbate to orgasm time after time that night. I woke the next morning as I fell asleep, my hand at my cunt, fingers buried between the lips and caressing my clitoris. I was more deeply at peace than ever before, having found a way in which to unite the various aspects of my personality at last.

And so it was that, on a January night more than a year ago, I first met the Dominant I now serve with great pride and much happiness. My year of service to that Dominant has been replete with achievements and failures, learning and forgetting, and highs and lows. I believe the Dominant I serve, the man who accorded me the privilege and honor his collar as a Christmas gift, and now, after a year of service, permits me to call him "Master," is the One toward whom my basic, truest self, my submissive personality had pulled me, like a compass finding its true north. I believe no other Dominant could give me the guidance, instruction, and purpose my submissive self missed and craved for so long before I had the great good fortune to find the Dominant's posting and the strength to respond, setting all this new life in motion.

The bedrock upon which my current existence is founded is that, by finding this Dominant who deserves and expects my best submission and service, I also have found my truest self, that from whom my lives as a professional, a creative being, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, an activist, and a friend spring. Knowing my true self illuminates those other selves, enhances them and their relationships with others, and improves all of my life in ways that I continue to discover. Gaining that knowledge through my continued service and submission to the Dominant I am fortunate and proud to serve enhances the submission I offer. Each particle of information I learn about myself expands my understanding and increases the variety and dimension of the acts of submission that I have available to offer up in service to the Dominant. As I improve my understanding of myself, I understand more about others. As I develop my skills in submission, I become a better friend and family member. My pride and self-assuredness that are enhanced by my service to the Dominant extend into my professional life and make me a better employee and a better professional in service to the firm's clients.

As the cliché says, "Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better" -- as long as I have the honor and privilege of serving my Master, that is true. My submission hones my skills and improves my understanding of myself, which provides a foundation for better and more empathetic understanding of others. The gifts of submission and service are many; there are many I have yet to achieve. But the greatest of these is self-awareness and the peace of knowing and loving and even liking the self I know myself to be.