Memoirs from a Bordello

Some time has passed since the following events happened to me; I realize now how lucky to experience them I am. My life since has slipped back into the routine: I take the subway to work, I go to endless amounts of meetings, I smile politely to clients, but I know that everyone craves something more beyond the plasticity of their prescribed lives. I experienced something incredible early in my life, for better or for worse I can take pleasure in the memories of what happened rather than the fantasies of what may never come to pass. All it takes is a look from someone on the subway, or a beautiful woman on a billboard to jog my memory and send me into a trance and remind me of five years ago when I was in Los Angeles. Nostalgia is seductive and it makes me long for that time, when I felt uninhibited by the realities of rent and career. I suppose that's how I came round to needing to record it; I wanted to capture it on paper as a way of reliving it. For myself mainly, but perhaps for anyone who cares to read.

I was in the first year of law school at UCLA and was pretty damn broke. My parents couldn't help out that much and I was accruing student loans at an alarming rate. I had, to my embarrassment, worked on a few occasions for an exclusive escort agency. It was suggested by a friend who was in a similar financial position and who made ends meet by exotic dancing at a place in West Hollywood. I was much too shy to get on a stage but she mentioned the agency where I could essentially go on a date with a rich man for money and anything else beyond that would be "at the arrangement of consenting adults" as she put it.

They were hardly dates; they consisted of a drink at a hotel bar and then coercion to go up to his room. Twice I got skittish and felt they were creepy so I politely declined and left. On the one occasion I did follow through, it was with a slightly younger man and it felt so awkward. It was hard for me to pretend like I was enjoying it and he was clearly married; which only compounded my hesitance and made me feel utterly immoral afterwards. It was the last time I would resort to using the agency.

So on one May morning, I was scanning Craigslist for internships, panicking about what I would do for the summer. The semester was ending and I needed to find some kind of employment to save some money for the fall semester. I had been on the site for ages, first earnestly searching then just goofing around looking at missed connections and random posts. One post caught my eye that was looking for "Models for a private club that caters to professional female clientele." I wasn't sure what that really entailed but the post was well written and sounded like a professional outfit. I had never slept with a woman before but I had been very curious about it and always admired beautiful women I had had a cliché drunken make out session with a friend during my undergrad years but it was hardly erotic and just left us feeling a bit sheepish in the morning. Admittedly, I did frequently watch lesbian porn and masturbated to it but I never felt I was a lesbian and had regularly dated men, however, back then I had been far too busy with school to even think about relationships.

After initial hesitance, I took the plunge and said what the heck. I emailed a mini bio along with a headshot (yes I had tried acting too, I was in LA after all) and waited for a response. It didn't take long for a reply to come up in my inbox. It was a lengthy email from a woman named Zara, mainly full of legal disclaimers about age and privacy. She said that she would love to meet me and invited me to an onsite screening process that took a full week. She also required an HIV test and recommended a place to have it done quickly and discreetly. A full week seemed a little ridiculous to me and I was about to decline when I saw the estimated weekly salary, it was a lot. Enough to pay off my credit card bills in two weeks, enough to cover my rent for a semester in just over a month. My curiosity was firmly piqued.

The name of the agency was Avalon (name changed for obvious reasons), which after Googling only brought up a simple one page website with an attractive model and contact details to schedule an appointment. Further searches on the internet proved fruitless. I then Googled the address listed in the email and pulled up the satellite image; it looked huge. It was located in Bel Air and was massive compared to some of the neighboring houses with a large lawn and swimming pool on the grounds. I was obviously nervous; you had to be pretty cautious when dealing with anything of this nature off craigslist. I was also excited, not just about the money, but in a manner that was like going on vacation to a foreign country for the first time. Everything about Avalon seemed exotic and secretive.

I took a deep breath and drafted my reply, sending her the details of when I could begin the one week screening process where I was to "pack for a one week stay, which is non-binding and you are free to leave at anytime." I hit send and I began to get butterflies. I had no idea what I was getting into; I had only kissed a girl before and now I may be expected to do any of a number of things which I could hardly dare to imagine. I was aroused and embarrassed at the same time. It was a lazy Sunday and I remember starting to browse for porn with a lesbian theme to it. There was a lot out there of course, much of it didn't really titillate me; it seemed designed for men with models in high heels and bad makeup plunging large dildos into each other and fake orgasms. It wasn't what I wanted.

Zara's confirmation came back quickly; I was to show up at the estate in Bel Air in five days. I had a ton of errands to run before that, I was a bit of a mess and hadn't really been taking the time to treat myself to beauty maintenance, so I pulled myself out of bed and got my Sunday going.

****

The next five days went by slowly; my finals were done so I had a lot of time to myself. I took a few trips to salons, once for a mani/pedi, once for my hair and once again for a wax. I'm not sure what I was thinking but at the last moment I opted for a partial Brazilian wax; it was so awkward!! Having a lady put hot wax on your butt crack is not very enjoyable but in the end I was happy with the result and it made me feel very sexy. I love to be touched all over and having the hair removed from that area made it even more sensitive. I had also treated myself to some new lingerie (more on my credit card) and once I got home, I slipped into a black silk thong with matching lace bra I had bought and it looked and felt amazing on me. I grabbed my laptop and crawled into bed to commence the other activity that had been taking up my time.

I had been exploring lesbian porn more and more. I became more familiar with models and studios that catered to a more sensual lesbian experience. There were entire sites devoted to videos that were "less porny", and focused on slower seductions sequences, and longer drawn out foreplay sessions between two women. I enjoyed them a lot more as many of the models were gorgeous. I would sometimes fantasize that the younger girl was me; shy, reticent being methodically seduced by an older experienced lesbian and eventually succumbing to my desire to have her put her hands all over my body, slowly finding my erogenous zones with her mouth. Sometimes the fantasy would be switched, where I was the one in control, using my body to lure her in, kissing her neck, caressing her breasts, slowly moving down to taste her and bringing her to an orgasm. I became so aroused during these 'research' sessions and would touch myself but I resisted making myself cum; I desperately wanted a release but I was saving it, I wasn't positive for who but my mind wanted to fill in the faces.

I thought endlessly about Avalon. If I saw a beautiful actress on one of the videos I watched, deep down inside I hoped she would be there, or that she might even be Zara. It was stupid I know but It wasn't impossible I reasoned. Most of the videos were shot in the Valley and many models I assumed worked in strip clubs and for escort services. I wanted my first real experience with a woman to be one of them; I wanted the release I craved to come from them and not from my own hand. It was torture.

On the day I got my wax, I began to browse online in my bed. I eventually came across a video entitled "Lesbian Seduction." The premise was silly; a girl is stiff after a long day at work and has a massage therapist work on her shoulders. The young girl was a very cute platinum blonde I had seen before with an amazing natural body with a California tan. Her breasts were perfect; large and full but hung perfectly with the benefit of her age. The older woman was pretty enough but it was what she did with the blonde then stirred my interest.

She was sitting behind her gently rubbing her shoulders but her hands began to explore more of the younger girls body as she slowly dared to do more. The blonde had her eyes closed the entire time during this sequence, softly moaning as the older woman stroked her arms and neck, moving in larger circles to encompass the front of her shoulders and the area above her breasts. I was entranced as the blonde became less inhibited; my stomach tightened and down below my crotch began to moisten. The older woman let the shoulder straps on the girl's top fall over her shoulders as her hands began to stroke closer to her breasts, running her fingers over the curves and cleavage. I did the same, tracing my fingers over my breasts allowing my fingers to touch the tops of my aureole. The girl's top soon fell down, allowing the older woman to completely encircle her breasts, the girl's breathe was getting more jagged and she arched her back reaching back with one arm to touch her lover's face. I reached down to my panties; slipping my hand in to slowly run a finger around my clitoris with my eyes glued to my laptop screen. The girl's nipples were large and brown, I desperately wanted to put my mouth on them and make her gasp. As the older woman began to tease the girl's nipples, they stiffened and shrunk.

This was getting too much to bear; I hadn't had any intimate contact of any kind for over six months and I hadn't allowed myself to climax for over a week now. I took my hand from my front and moved it to my butt, running my fingers slowly down my crack, it sent a shiver of sensitivity through me, I've always wanted to be touched sensually in that area but was shy to ask, it made me feel dirty to long for that type of contact but now I didn't care, the waxing had left me feeling clean and bare.

The video had progressed to a more urgent stage; the older woman had her hand down the girl's pants, squeezing a breast with the other; the blonde's moans were more intense now and she gripped the older woman's leg for support as her hips began to move. My hand moved back to tease my clitoris and another squeezed my breast to somehow mimic the pleasure the pretty girl was feeling. I did something I hadn't done for a long time, I dipped two fingers into my wet vagina and brought them up to my mouth; I wanted to taste a woman and this was the simplest way to help my imagination. I closed my eyes and licked my fingers savoring the tangy taste, imagining it was another woman's: the blonde in the video, or even Zara, who I had only fantasized about her appearance.

I opened my eyes and the video was in a lull, the blonde had stopped moaning and was removing her shorts. The older woman was off screen but reappeared, naked wearing a strap-on. I had never usually been into that type of thing but I was in such a heightened state of arousal I found the idea highly erotic.

"Do you want to have this inside you?" the older woman almost whispered.

"Yes please," the blonde gasped as she invitingly got onto all fours on the couch, reaching behind her to tug on the strap on and pull the woman closer to her vagina. The woman obliged and slowly entered her, putting the full length of it in. The girl cried out once it was in; her face was framed in a perfect image of ecstasy, eyes closed and brow creased. I turned it off; it was too much for me to bear. I wanted it so badly, I wanted to feel what the girl did, to beg for fulfillment and then have a woman enter me from behind. It was shameful but I didn't care. I wanted to be touched like that, to be brought to such a state of arousal that I was willing behave like an animal and plead for a woman to make me climax in every way possible. My hands were trembling and my clitoris ached for attention but I didn't dare touch it out of fear that I would ruin the sensation that I was hoping to come soon.

I got out of bed, and to put it out of my mind I went for a jog. I would find out soon enough what would happen to me.

****

The day of the interview was here. I had packed what I needed and dressed to impress for my initial meeting with Zara. I tried to look professional in a sexy manner, wearing a mid-thigh height skirt with a white collared button-down. I wore a black bra underneath that was clearly visible and had it opened to the cleavage. I picked out some tasteful heels, nothing garish and put my long dark hair up to show my neck. After applying some make up I did a once over in the mirror and was happy with how I looked. I was and still am quite a catch. I have a lean frame with nice legs that come with being 5 foot 8. My bosom is a pleasant C cup size that got endless amounts of ogling from the boys in high school and college. My nipples are large and puffy, that have a pinkish hue, but harden in to a nice tan color when swimming or turned on. My eyes are hazel and although I would like to think I have Italian blood, unfortunately my skin is paler and doesn't have that golden brown that I love but Southern California had failed to provide me.

I made a final run down to make sure I had everything as the taxi would be coming soon. I left a quick note on my desk that gave the address of the place I was going to, just in case everything took a bad turn and Avalon turned into a bunch of lecherous men. I tried to put that out of my mind and grabbed my bags and went to wait for the taxi.

My brain was racing on the short trip to Bel Air, I had barely been able to think straight the final couple of days; my fantasies became more complex; about clients, about the other girls I would be working with. The more I deprived myself of a climax the more intensely I became hell bent on making love to another woman. I was old enough to know that fantasies are fantasies and rarely play out well in the real world but at the very least I could sate my curiosity about Avalon.

The taxi pulled into the massive grounds of Avalon; it was like a movie star's mansion. I paid the fare and asked him to wait until I got inside the door, just in case I decided to back out. After ringing the doorbell I was soon greeted by a Latina housemaid, she seemed very pleasant and beckoned me in which put me at ease. I waved goodbye to the cabbie and crossed the threshold into the house.

The foyer was covered in marble with a spiral staircase that went to an upper level; it was pretty impressive and had all the glamour of LA that my life had been severely lacking as a college student. I had just begun to take it in when a voice called out to me

"Kristy!" a woman called out as I spotted her emerging from a ground level room and walk to greet me. She was beautiful. She was exotic looking and glamorous, everything that I had fantasized about but more. I could barely say anything as she approached. She appeared to be in her early thirties, straight shoulder length mousey brown hair but I had a couple of inches on her. She was perfectly tanned wearing a similarly professional get up as me, business skirt with matching jacket and what seemed to be a silk top underneath that barely covered her breasts. She had piercing green eyes, high cheek bones and full lips, with a pair of stylish glasses perched on her nose. It was clear she had put a lot of work into her body and from the size and shape of her breasts I suspected they were fake; but that was the only minor flaw on what was otherwise a flawless piece of work.

"You look just like your photo! I'm Zara, it's so lovely to finally meet you," she reached in to give me a kiss on the cheek.

"Nice to meet you too," I managed, not too confidently. She started to guide me with her hand towards where she emerged from.

"So you can leave your bags at the door, someone will take them up to your room. Today may be pretty boring, we have a few forms to fill out and we'll just have an informal chat in my office to give you an idea of what is expected. Later, I'll have someone show you around...we have a gym, pool everything you need really, but if there's anything you need feel free to ask me."

She guided me into a large office area, with a desk and large bay windows from floor to ceiling that looked out onto the sunny lawn. Off to the corner I made out part of a pool with a few people lounging around but too far to make out clearly. She bid me to sit and she moved around to the other side of the desk.

"So first off I'll need your driver's license and the HIV test I requested. Also I'll need you to sign this disclosure that anything that happens between a client of Avalon and one of its employees is the decision of consenting adults. It's very important for me for you to understand that you may terminate your stay here at anytime. You are free to do as you please and I don't want you to feel coerced in any way." She seemed trustworthy, but there was an underlying firmness to her, like any business woman that's had to fight for respect.

"Thanks for the reassurance, I'm sure I'll be fine" I handed the documents over which she scanned and put on her desk. She watched me sign the consent form and started with her well tailored description of what Avalon is.

"Avalon is a club for qualifying females where they can network and meet other females that are able to cater to any specific needs they might have. Being a member of the club comes with a fee for annual membership and also an hourly rate while members enjoy their stay here. As an employee of the club you are entitled to a rate for the time you spend with members. You may if you wish, live here full time. Some girls do and some prefer to travel from home. Being an employee of the club is of course conditional of you passing a trial week period. There are no male members or employees, just like a golf club we can restrict a gender from joining, any questions?"

"What types of services are provided?" The obvious one, she was dancing around the issue. She smiled.

"Look, I'm not going to try and bullshit you. Our members are wealthy lesbians, bisexuals or just bored curious housewives that want to enjoy the company of beautiful women, and usually that company entails the exchange of favors of a sexual manner. We provide anything from massages to sub/dom role playing; basically anything the member desires. We are...for lack of a better term a bordello for women."

I wasn't shocked; this is what I was anticipating.

"Paying for sex is an ancient tradition but it's usually been exclusively reserved for men due to gender roles. In the 21^st century however, more women are in positions of power and in positions of financial wealth. Why can't we have our fun too?" she didn't wait for an answer, "This was the question that our benefactor, who set this up, asked herself. There is prostitution out there, massage services that maintain female-only clientele. There is a market, not just for lesbians but for heterosexual women that always were curious but were afraid of going to lesbian clubs. Here they can get discretion, experience and safety...With that being said, what about you can you tell me that makes you suitable for this type of work?"