Memoirs of a Menage


"I will or you will?" I hadn't even told him about the dressing room. He was just teasing, but I felt a flutter in my stomach all the same, "I've never liked pink princess pajamas."

"You just wait, Mr. Man. You're going to eat those words."

"Wait, you're not going to be too busy babysitting her to hang out with Dane are you? I've been talking you up to him for weeks. He loves Christina Aguilera."

"Fuck you. You did not tell him I look like her, if for no other reason than you know I'd punch you. Anyway, I sort of promised Dane to Chelle."

"What the fuck, Ava? I get that you're all into your new fairy godmother role but you've got to be shitting me. I'll give you $100 if Rachelle can even get Dane to remember her name. She doesn't hold a candle to you, not even if all the electricity were out in the city."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, which you know, of course but you're just going to have to trust me... and give me a hundred bucks," I laughed into the phone hanging up on him so that I could attend to my project.

As Rachelle and I walked into the party, I started keeping a mental tally of the number of jaws that dropped. Men, women, young, old -- it didn't matter. Everyone was checking out Rachelle and to her credit, she was taking it in stride, smiling back confidently, thanks in part to a couple shots of pre-game tequila.

I suppose, to be fair, it's not like I was invisible, but in order to play up Rachelle's re-entrance into the dating world, I decided to switch costumes from my planned dominatrix outfit to a costume I'd worn a few years before. It had a long bright red silk cape with a hood and underneath I was wearing a rather innocent looking white dress that laced up in front. In my hands, I carried a small picnic basket. While Little Red Riding Hood might not be the sexiest character ever written, I've never really had trouble attracting boys and besides, she has such great flirty lines... "My what big..." well, you get the idea.

Nick lost no time in crossing the room to me. "I thought you were bringing Rachelle?" he said dramatically, his eyebrows raised as he watched her make her way towards the keg of beer. "You must be really hard up for money, hiring a look alike to sashay in here like sex on wheels."

I flashed him an "I told you so" smile. I was feeling rather pleased with myself and quite looking forward to when Dane, the player from out of town, noticed my protégé. He might have a fondness for Christina Aguilera but tonight, Rachelle was Lena Heady and I felt certain that if I couldn't keep my eyes of her ass and cleavage in that get up, no straight man had a prayer.

I watched a co-worker of Nick's point to Rachelle as she poured a beer for herself. I'd met her before at a Christmas party and remembered her being reasonably cool but couldn't remember her name. I decided that I was still a fan of hers when she drew a few of her guy friends' attention to Rachelle. It seemed I was going to have a bit of help in the promotions department.

As a brief side note, I just have to give kudos to women who are secure enough to point out other attractive women in appreciation instead of envy or looking for one slight flaw so they can feel better about themselves.

"I don't know that I ever wanted to be a big, bad wolf so bad before," a voice said a deep voice from behind me. I wasn't sure, because I hadn't actually met him yet, but my guess was that this would be the introduction of Dane, the game show winner slotted to win fabulous prizes, a la my Chelle-Gorgo.

"Meaning you'd relish eating my grandmother?" I piped, turning around to see him, "She's pushing 70 and since pop pop's been gone, I'm fairly certain she's been alone. She'd be up for it. Shall I call her?"

"Nick said you were witty," Dane smiled, a dazzling smile I knew Rachelle would melt over. He was actually just a little too pretty for my taste. "It's sad he wasn't right. That was just gross."

I laughed. At least he was worth verbally sparring with. There was at least the slightest chance that he was worthy of the rewards he would reap this Halloween.

"Indeed. For what it's worth, my grandpa isn't really dead. He and grandma are living happily ever after in an ex-patriot town in Aruba. I visit every summer."

"Well traveled with big boobs. Can you say dream girl?"

"While I'm sure you intended that to be flattering, there's actually someone I wanted to introduce you to. Come along, Dane, I have a bet to win," I said cryptically, grabbing his hand and leading him in the direction in which I had last seen Rachelle.

I weaved through several costumed guests, who had clearly followed the general tradition of sexy over scary. In the corner was a smoldering vampire staring towards the sliding glass door leading to the backyard. My best guess was that Rachelle had gone out there. I hadn't seen anyone else at the party who would attract that sort of single-minded staring.

On the back patio a beer pong table had been set up and Rachelle was teamed up with an unimpressively dressed witch, playing against a fairy and a werewolf. Rather than interrupt their game, I took a seat near the fire pit where I could watch the game and motioned for Dane to do the same.

"The hot chic," I said gesturing with my hand, "is my roommate, Rachelle."

"From where I'm sitting, the hot chic is right next to me. What I really want to know is what's inside that picnic basket," Dane said, scooting his chair nearer to mine and placing his hand on my leg.

Inwardly I sighed. For starters, even if Nick had been singing my praises, Dane was awfully forward and sure of himself. Had Nick told him that all he would have to do was show up; smile and I'd drag him off to a room and let him fuck my brains out? Just because I'm not hard to talk into a good time doesn't mean I don't expect a little effort to impress me.

"Easy there turbo... Why don't you get us some beer?" I suggested, pointing to the keg on the patio not too far from where Rachelle was losing terribly at beer pong. I saw her chug the contents of another red solo cup and mentally hoped that she didn't get herself too wasted and pass out before she could surprise herself with the ability to have a one night stand.

Dane returned with two beers and said, "All right, I have to admit you were right about your roommate. Her tits look amazing in that costume."

I was once again reminded why overly attractive men aren't really my type. They think that their good looks are all they need in any situation, but at least he was now focused on the intended target.

Rachelle was leaning forward in a last ditch attempt to make a comeback in the game and her cleavage was more than peeking out from beneath the fabric. I thought again of the flash of her nipple in the dressing room and flushed. I was glad I was near the fire and that Dane wasn't paying much attention or I was sure I would have been called out for perving on my roomie.

Upon losing the game, Rachelle made her way over to Dane and I, artfully removing his beer from his hand and smiling prettily, "You shouldn't have," she said as she took a generous drink of his beer, leaving some of her lipstick on the glass before handing it back to a bemused Dane. I could see the wheels spinning in his brain, playing out what that shade of lipstick would look like, left on his cock after she slid it in her mouth.

Where on earth was Rachelle? That was a seductive move way above her pay grade. I was thrilled that she was really working the confidence angle and more than a little proud of the role I had played in bringing her to this point. If only the hot guy at the bank could see her now. White trash split ends had nothing on this girl.

"Chelle, this is Dane. He was just telling me how much he liked your costume," I said standing up to leave them alone. I could overhear Dane falling over himself to make a charming presentation to Rachelle just before she left him and caught up to me.

"I figure I should let him chase me some," Rachelle laughed, slipping her arm through mine and following me inside to see Nick.

Dane spent the evening attempting to ply Rachelle with drinks, assuming that her reluctance to spend time with him was just a matter of not enough alcohol. At turns he flirted with me, perhaps in the hopes that I would join them too but I truly had no desire to hook up with Dane. I was quite happy to pass him on to my friend who was in desperate need of his services. I just hoped he was better in bed than he was out of it, but I remained unconvinced.

Around 1am, as I was doing shots with the hot vampire in the kitchen, Nick slid a bill into my cleavage, which was pushed up nicely by my bra and the corset lacings of the dress.

"Here's a hundred bucks," Nick smiled, watching Rachelle and Dane makeout in the corner of the room.

"This is a one," I laughed as I fished it out, "What am I, a stripper? I'd offer to give you a lap dance but I know I'm not your type."

"I was hoping you would be too drunk to notice. Ok, so I owe you. Jesus, Ava, Rachelle's in rare form tonight. Where the hell has she been hiding all that sass for the past year?"

"Apparently under pink princess pjs... I always knew fairy tales were like kryptonite to real girl power... What? What's that look for? I won fair and square and my protégé is fucking rocking it tonight!"

"No, it's not that. Rachelle is trying to flag you down. She looks like she needs a last minute pep talk."

I saw Dane leading Rachelle off to the guest bedroom he was staying in. Most of the guests had either left for other parties or were totally trashed, sitting around the living room playing drinking games, ensuring wickedly bad hangovers the next morning.

Rachelle motioned for me to follow her, telling Dane that she would be in the room in a minute.

"Ava, I'm nervous. I haven't been with anyone in over a year and Dane is so hot. I've never done anything like this before. I know I'm not going to ride off into the sunset with this one but I'm so fucking horny. Would I be a total whore if I just used him for sex and never called him again? He's kind of boring beneath the hotness."

Instead of answering Rachelle's resurfacing insecurities with words, I kissed her. I softened my lips and traced hers with my tongue delighting in their softness and the lingering sweetness of her lip gloss. She was utterly beautiful and sexy. I thought that if perhaps she could just feel the effect she was having on me, she would regain the cocky spirit she'd been using to flirt with Dane all night and resolve herself to letting Dane meet her needs despite his lack of soulmate qualifications.

To my surprise Rachelle began to kiss me back, her tongue sliding into my mouth, caressing my own, her lips molding to mine. I felt a surge of wetness leak onto my white lace thong and suddenly I knew that Dane's luck was about to change.

"Atta girl, Chelle. Now go in there and get yourself an orgasm or two!"

Rachelle giggled and walked into the bedroom closing the door behind her.

Relieved of my coaching duties, I went back to the kitchen to see if the vampire had any interest in attending to my own needs. His strong hands lifting me on to the kitchen counter where he began to kiss and suck on my neck trailing down to my cleavage clearly answered my question. Just as I was about to suggest that we move somewhere less public, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Coach, your girl needs you again." Nick said, clearly regretting that he had to breakup my plans with a man he aesthetically approved of.

"What?" I asked, trying to clear the lust induced fog from my brain.

"Just go to the guestroom. She texted us both but I was the only one who had an eye on my phone."

Apologetically I shrugged at the vampire whose name I couldn't remember. I felt a little bit bad for him but I was sure he would find a way to manage his disappointment.

"I need to put on my superhero cape and rescue my friend. If I'm not back in 20 minutes, just come find me," I winked at him and he seemed appeased, as much by my words as the shot that Nick handed to him.

"Chelle?" I asked, peeking my head inside the bedroom door.

The scene inside would have been hysterical if Rachelle hadn't looked so completely mortified. Dane was lying slumped in an armchair near the bed, apparently having passed out. I tried not to giggle as I remembered my fear earlier in the evening that such a fate my befall Rachelle.

"He asked me to strip for him and I started to but... he... Fell Asleep. Oh, God, Ava. I'm so embarrassed. I should have known this was a bad idea. I'm no bad ass seductress; I'm just quiet Rachelle the banker, good with numbers but not men."

Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks as she held the dress to her body, attempting to hide her breasts from me.

"Rachelle, this is not your fault. Clearly Dane can't hold his liquor. He was trying all night to get you drunk and apparently his tactics only worked on himself," I sighed, leading her over to the bed. "Babe, you're drunk, turned on and have been stood up by an idiot of a man. I really think this is the best possible time to rethink your no masturbation policy."

Rachelle shook her head, apparently sticking to her principles.

"Seriously, you know your pussy has to be throbbing right about now. I saw you working your magic on Dale. C'mon, Chelle, give yourself a break. I've never seen anyone who needed to cum as badly as you do right now. Dane's passed out, he's not going to know or remember. I won't tell, I promise. I just want you to be happy and I think this costume was a great first step. Getting yourself off would be a perfect second."

Rachelle bit her lip. I could tell she was thinking about it but she also clearly wanted to say something.

"Ava, this might be the alcohol or the sheer ridiculousness of this night but I know that I don't want to masturbate right now. I... I want," she paused.

"What sweetie? Being able to say what you want is pretty important. Do you want me to take you home? I have a hot vampire waiting on me in the kitchen but I supposed I could drag him back to my own bed."

Rachelle's eyes lit up then. "No... I don't want you to take me home. I want you... and the vampire to come back in here and lock the door."

I blinked. Of all the things I had expected Rachelle to say, a threesome proposition wasn't even on the list.

"No way. Rachelle, you haven't even talked to the guy. You were worried about having sex with Dane who you talked to all night. This is pretty far beyond that. Hell, even I don't remember his name."

"But I know you, Ava. I can't stop thinking about the way you kissed me before I came in here. I think you want me too. Hell, I can just offer to let the vampire watch us if I don't feel up to letting him touch me. Please... I just want to do this while I still have the courage. I really want to kiss you again... to touch you. You're so beautiful."

At that, I forgot all about the vampire. I simply leaned in and kissed Rachelle again, pushing her back on the bed, feeling her breasts pushing back against mine as I lay on top of her.

In my previous experiences with a threesome, I'd really only joined Kelly in playing with Chris. Sure, he attended to our needs as well, but other than a couple of giggly kisses, Kelly and I didn't have much to do with each other aside from being naked and draping over her man.

Now that I'd kissed Rachelle, I was desperate to feel her nipples hardening to my touch, to run my tongue over them and make her squirm under my hands. For all that I've never really indulged in fantasies of women before, I must admit that I love to hear moans and squeals of delight - especially when they aren't forced, fake, porn-style.

Rachelle reached her hands up to play with my curled blonde hair and I took the opportunity to move her dress away from her body. The sight of both of her nipples made me quivery and I rubbed my palms over them lightly, eliciting a very real moan from Rachelle's lips. Her fingers caressed my neck and collarbone, down to the deep line of cleavage and began to rub there gently as if she'd had her eye on it for some time.

Maybe she had been wanting me or maybe it was just the strange circumstances but I wasn't in the mood to question things. I just knew that I wanted her.

She untied the strings of my red cape and let it fall behind me. There the two of us were, in completely different white dresses, fondling, groping and showing no hints of straightness. My hands roamed her body, feeling her soft skin, wanting nothing more than to rid us both of all of our clothes and see what our bodies felt like skin to skin.

Rachelle apparently had the same goal. I could feel her unlacing my dress and sliding it off my shoulders. She hooked her fingers in each of my bra straps and pulled those down as she went. She continued to caress my skin, placing light kisses on my collarbone before trailing back up my neck to my lips. Her kisses were sweet and soft and suddenly I had Katy Perry lyrics running through my brain.

I heard the door open behind us and felt Rachelle stop dead in her tracks. My heart started pounding, not that it wasn't already in the heat of the moment, but this was fueled by my absolute fear that the entrance of another person would cause Rachelle to snap out of whatever had caused her to want me. I so desperately wanted to continue whatever this was. It felt so good.

"Um, uh... wow," I heard the vampire say from the doorway, "I was looking for Ava but ummm... should I leave?"

I looked at Rachelle, curious to see and hear her response to the intruder. I'd forgotten that I'd told him to come find me and I was going to be so pissed if he messed this up for me.

Rachelle looked embarrassed, flushed, mussed and unbelievably sexy. She also looked like she could care less about the vampire. She waved him in dismissively and then with a stern voice said, "Watch if you want but you can't touch us unless we ask you to. Got it?"

As he nodded enthusiastically, I vaguely heard Rachelle ask his name and his muffled response before my thoughts returned to the girl at hand.

I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath until I released it in a relieved gasp. She was going to roll with it. Steve, the hot vampire guy was gonna watch us, which appealed my exhibitionism but mostly I just wanted my lips back on Rachelle's.

Steve closed the door behind him and locked it. I didn't turn around to see where he went. I didn't care. I just wanted to feel Rachelle's body, smell her, taste her. I started to kiss her again and her hand found its way up under my dress, tracing its way up my inner thigh when she stopped abruptly again.

Pulling her fingers back out, she showed them to me, slick with my juices. I was so turned on, it was dripping down my thighs. I'm normally not overly wet. Not dry, just not a fountain. All I could think was, "Holy shit. I Really want her."

"Ava... I... I've never been with a woman. I don't... I don't know if I'll be able to..." she couldn't even bring herself to say what she feared but I wasn't sure words like "lick your pussy" would sound right coming from Rachelle anyway.

"Shhhhh. What do you think the vampire's here for?" I whispered in her ear, "Right now though, I don't give a shit about him. I just want to play with you. We'll call him if we need him."

I really wasn't feeling like we were going to need him but I might think differently if Rachelle realized that not only couldn't she bring herself to lick me, but not having masturbated her whole life, didn't know how to work a clit. However, these coherent thoughts left me as Rachelle's lips brushed across my nipple, first gently and then she wrapped her lips around it and began to suck. The fiery sensations that shot straight down my body through my groin and to my clit were instantaneous.

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