Memories! Ch. 02

As she lifted the lid, her breath caught in her throat. "AJ...I've never seen anything so beautiful! Will you put it on my finger?"

AJ reached into the box and began to gently tug the ring from its grasp, but in doing so, the lining came free, and a small piece of paper fluttered softly to the bed.

"What's this?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Oh nothing, Darlin'. It's just the receipt. I had to keep it in the box when I cleared customs, and I forgot it was there. Here, let me take it."

"You bought this in Italy?"

"Uh huh, in a little antique shop in Florence. They said it was 100 years old, but I have no idea if that's true. I just knew that I wanted to put it on your finger when I proposed..."

Sarah began to sob...huge salty tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Darlin'...this is not the reaction I had in mind." he soothed, tasting her tears, touching his lips to hers.

For the first time in her life, Sarah cried without shame, without arresting her feelings and imprisoning them deep within her. AJ loved her...he'd bought the ring even before he'd known about the baby. She was his forever...and he was hers.

Slowly, tenderly, they'd made love one more time... filling the night with the beauty that was theirs, sharing the pleasure of their bodies, bonding their souls inextricably... one to the other.



1200 HOURS
AJ's Home
McLean, Virginia


The wedding was a simple affair, held in heart of the forest behind AJ's cabin in McLean, Virginia.

The guest list was kept to a minimum. Bud and Harriet were there, along with little AJ, who proceeded to terrorize every squirrel for miles around.

Sarah was breathtaking in an antique gown of ivory eyelet lace, as Harm walked her down the 'aisle' to the man with whom she had chosen to share her life.

Everyone cried.

But soon it was over, and the guests began to depart down the long, dusty road back to town... each feeling as though they had been given access to a very special moment in the lives of two very special people.

The demands of Sarah's current case load at work prohibited a lengthy honeymoon, so the newlyweds chose to "borrow" a research cottage owned by the Navy on Parramore Island for the weekend. There, they made slow, easy love to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, and formed plans for a lifetime together.

Sarah and AJ headed back to town on Sunday afternoon, and settled, once again, into her apartment on the Quantico Marine Base.

They'd decided to live in her apartment until after the baby was born, to cut down on the distance she would have to commute, and allow her more time to rest as her pregnancy wore on. After little "MacKenzie" was born, they would move back to AJ's cabin in McLean, and establish their permanent residence.



0630 HOURS
Colonel Chegwidden's Apartment
Marine Base Quantico


Two months had come and gone. Sarah was now five months pregnant. The slight bouts of nausea she had experienced during the first three months of her pregnancy had finally given way to a feeling of euphoric well-being, and it was to AJ's dismay that she began to take on more and more responsibilities at work.

AJ had become almost comical in his zeal as a new father-to-be. He'd even had a special t-shirt made up that read: "We're Having A Baby! - News at 11:00" which he seemed to have a fondness for wearing at particularly embarrassing moments.

Things were not perfect in the Chegwidden household, however, and as time wore on, their inability to find a comfortable pattern in their lives together began to take its toll.

AJ, a man from the old school, believed that it was his job as a husband and father to protect his family and shoulder the responsibilities that entered into their lives. He worried about the increasing work load that Sarah was constantly amassing, and the effects of that ponderous burden on her progressing pregnancy.

Sarah, on the other hand, had fought long and hard to be a woman of independence. Relinquishing even a small portion of that hard-won persona, was proving to be more difficult than she had imagined.



2300 HOURS
The Chegwidden Apartment
Marine Base Quantico


AJ heard her key in the lock. He rolled on his side and waited until he saw her silently slip through the bedroom door.

"I missed you, Darlin'." he said, his tone displaying his frustration. "Do you know what time it is?"

"I always know what time it is, AJ. You know that. I realize that I said I'd be home on time tonight, but things just seemed to happen...I couldn't get away. It happens to you too sometimes..."

"Darlin', come here and lay down." he said, moving over and rolling on his side. "We need to talk..."

"Oh, AJ...not again. Please. I know you want me to take it a little easier...and I want that too. It's just that this situation in Japan has escalated all out of proportion, and it's my job to handle it. A lot of people are depending on me. I can't just say 'Sorry. My husband doesn't want me working tonight!' Be reasonable!"

"Darlin'...I thought I WAS being reasonable. I've been a C.O. a lot longer than you have, and one thing I've learned is that a good C.O. knows how and when to delegate authority."

"Sarah...you can't be everything to all people. You have to choose your priorities, or you end up being ineffectual in the areas that really matter."

Sarah stroked the squared line of his jaw. "This does matter, AJ. It matters a lot. It's something I need to do, not just for my career, but for myself. I need you to understand.

"What about the baby, Sarah? What about us? Where do we fit in this priority structure of yours?"

Angrily, Sarah bounded from his side and began to tear at her clothing in preparation for bed.

"That's not fair, AJ! I try to understand when you have other obligations. I don't cross-examine you when you get home! Why can't you offer me the same consideration?"

Silently, AJ rose and enfolded her in his embrace. "Darlin', I don't want to fight again. It's just that I worry about you. You know that the doctor said you shouldn't work yourself into a state of exhaustion. You've been leaving early and coming home late for weeks, and when you do get here...you're so tired that all you can do is drop into bed and sleep. You can't go on like this.

"What...what about last month when you had that Supreme Court issue to deal with...you did the same thing. Why was it okay for you, but not for me?"

"Darlin', I'm not five months pregnant. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. You need to take better care of yourself...or better yet, let ME take care of YOU. Lord knows I understand how hard it is to give up control, but for the baby's sake, for our sake, you need to 'give' a little."

"AJ," she said, the anger resonating in her voice. "I don't want to talk about this anymore tonight. I'm tired."

Tugging a long, Marine-green t-shirt down over the swollen profile of her belly, Sarah lay down on the bed, her back to her husband, and fell into a fitful sleep.



6 Weeks Later
The Chegwidden Apartment
Marine Base Quantico


Sarah was ecstatic. It was finally over. Through her diligent efforts, both parties had finally arrived at a compromise.

The Japanese government, unwilling to waver in its resolution to ban armed Marine deployments, had refused to budge. It had, however, conceded that U.S. Marines from Okinawa could be substituted as guards during Security Council junkets, since their permission to bear arms had already been granted by a former treaty.

The Marines had likewise made concessions. It had been agreed upon that armed Marine Guards from the States would accompany Presidential diplomatic deployments only as far as the Japanese air terminal, at which time they would be relieved of their duties, and the U.S. Marines from Okinawa would take over.

It wasn't elegant...but it worked.

Both sides were relieved, and a diplomatic junket had immediately been arranged to formalize the agreement.

Since both parties had dealt extensively with Sarah, it was at their insistence that her presence be included on the deployment. Sarah was delighted.

AJ, however, was less than thrilled.

"Sarah...you're six and a half months pregnant! You can't just go traipsing off to Japan!"

"AJ...I'm not 'traipsing' anywhere. This is work...it's my job to be there!"

To AJ, this was the last straw. His anger got the best of him.

"Well, let somebody else do the damn job for once! What is it with you?" he questioned angrily. "You need one more trip down 'memory lane' before you commit to this marriage? Is that it!"

"How can you say that! My affair with John Farrow was finished eight years before I even met you. AJ...this person you're turning into...I don't know you anymore!"

Sarah retreated to the bedroom, while AJ poured himself a drink and sat, fuming, on the living room sofa.

He hadn't meant that last barb, he thought guiltily. Sarah had never given him any reason not to trust her. He was being unfair. He just felt so frustrated...

Silently, he followed Sarah's path to the bedroom, and nudged open the door.

Sarah lay naked on a towel across the bed, trying with great difficulty to apply cocoa butter to the taut skin of her swollen abdomen...a guard against stretch marks.

AJ gave a weak smile.

"Can a stupid S.O.B. help you with that?" he asked, preparing for the worst.

Sarah paused, the ravages of her tear-streaked face evident even in the dim light of the bedroom.

"Oh, AJ. Why do we fight so much? I can't stand to have you angry with me...I just can't deal with this constant bickering. What's happened to us?"

"Darlin', maybe we need a little diplomatic deployment of our own." he smiled, removing his shirt from the slippery arena, and applying a large, warm glob of cocoa butter to her rounded body.

"Hey...Little Mac's kicking up a storm tonight. He must really like this stuff."

Tenderly, AJ raised her arms above her head in order to apply the slippery balm to the flesh along her sides. Then, removing the rest of his clothing, he stretched out beside her.

Sarah felt his gentle fingers begin to massage the soothing ointment into her skin, working their way across her breasts, sliding sensuously around her nipples.

"Ummm. His Mom likes that too." she sighed, grasping the brass headboard.

"We aim to please, Darlin'." he whispered huskily, his lips nuzzling hungrily against her throat.

"Oh, AJ...I don't know how you can even think of things like that. Just look at me. I'm HUGE!"

He paused. Did she really believe that?

Silently, he positioned his knee between her legs, pressing his hardened member against her hip.

"Darlin'...I couldn't make this up if I tried! I've never seen anyone as beautiful or as sensuous as you are at this moment. It's just...I'm just afraid of hurting you..."

AJ searched the deep, luminous pools of her eyes as he covered her lips with his, his tongue invading her senses, his hand slowly exploring the slick fullness of her body.

Sarah tightened her grasp on the brasswork above her, arching her back to meet the satiny slither of his hand as it stroked her abdomen.

"Oh, AJ...Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" she breathed raggedly, his questing fingers slipping between her thighs, probing intimately within her.

"Yes, Ma'am," he murmured incomprehensibly, drawing her nipple deeply between his cocoa-buttered lips, "I'm making love to the only woman I'll ever want."

She closed her eyes, letting the warm seduction of his touch wash over her, her body responding, awakening as she tightened her hold on the headboard.

She heard a pounding in her ears, and realized it was the rapid beating of her own heart, racing out of control, crying for fulfillment.

"Oh, God...I need you inside of me." she pleaded, her thighs imprisoning his hand within her.

Deftly, AJ rolled onto his back, taking her quivering form with him, placing her astride his pulsating erection.

"Darlin', you'd better hurry," he rasped, pressing his hand against her buttocks. "I don't know how much more of this I can take..."

Quickly, she took him within her... her body remembering a rhythm as old as time, feeling him fill her over and over again.

Then, once more he insinuated his fingers into her moist curls, coaxing, massaging, pushing her to the brink of the known universe, lighting fires that only he could quench.

And then her release was upon her...her body sucking greedily at his rigid offering, her cries echoing into the night.

AJ felt the play of her muscles and the warm flood of her essence surrounding him, and gratefully allowed her to carry him through time and space to a place of bright, cataclysmic oneness, formed by the joining of their unconquerable souls.

Silently they lay, touched and touching, until they could once again regain the power of speech.

"Darlin'," he breathed into the heady aroma of her hair, "we're going to get through this...I'm going to try harder. We'll be okay...it's just a bump in the road..."



1200 HOURS
The Next Day
Sam Adams' Steak House
Washington, D.C.


"It's a boy." AJ announced proudly to the SECNAV. "We saw his little "turtle sign" a few weeks ago in one of those sonogram things. After all these years, I'm going to have a son!"

"Well, AJ...I've already got one, and I can tell you that it's overrated. Oh look...over there...there's your wife's C.O., General Morgan. Good man. Follows orders. I could use a few more like him." he said, casting AJ a sideways glance.

"Tom!...Tom, come over here. I want you to meet AJ Chegwidden. He's the JAG over in Falls Church."

"A pleasure to meet you, Sir." the general said, offering AJ his hand. "It hardly feels like we need an introduction. Sarah talks about you all the time. That's some wife you've got there!"

"I couldn't agree more, General. She's something, indeed. I just wish there was a little more of her to go around. This pace is really wearing her out."

The general gave AJ a puzzled glance. Was this some kind of encrypted message? How exactly was he to interpret this last comment?

"Oh...well...yes. She's a busy woman, all right. Oh! I see my luncheon appointment over there. Nice speaking with both of you. He nodded toward the two men, then strode across the room to meet his companion.



1800 HOURS
The Chegwidden Apartment
Marine Base Quantico


AJ almost fell over the suitcases piled by the door.

"What the...? Sarah...Sarah!" he called into the dimly lit interior of the room.

Then he saw her, curled into a ball in the large chair on the far side of the room. She'd been crying... for a long while if the puffiness around her eyes was any indication.

"Sarah...Darlin'. What is all this? What's going on?"

Wretchedly, she raised her eyes to his, forcing the works from her lips.

"I want you to leave, AJ. I want you to take your bags and go..."

He felt as though someone had just dealt him a lethal blow to the solar plexus.

"Sarah!" he mouthed, the word refusing to leave his mouth. "I don't understand, Darlin'. Can't we talk about this?"

Sarah began to sob, uncontrollable in her pain. "How could you do it, AJ? How could you make love to me...and tell me you were going to try...then force Tom Morgan to dump me from the junket to Japan! I trusted you!"

AJ was numb. Tom Morgan had removed her from the Japan deployment....at his request?

"Sarah, there's some mistake here...let me..."

"No!" she shuddered. She was beyond reason...beyond consolation. "No more, AJ. I can't bear anymore. I can't breathe. You're smothering me! I love you...I'll never love anyone else the way I do you...but I can't live with you."

AJ crossed the room and knelt beside her chair.

Sarah turned her face from him, her knees drawn up in fetal position, her arms wrapped tightly around a throw pillow.

"Darlin...please." he begged, feeling his life begin to grow dim, "Give me a chance to make this right."

"AJ," she whispered, her voice coming in ragged gasps, "if you love me, then don't put me through any more. Can't you see I'm crumbling to pieces? Help me...please. Just take your suitcases and go..."

Crushed and broken, AJ stood and walked haltingly toward the door. He could feel her eyes following the tortured movements of his body as he grasped the cold, leather handles of his bags...and then he was gone.

Sarah sat crying in the confines of her chair for most of the night, staring at the haunting emptiness of the room, afraid to face the loneliness of her empty bed... a tiny cowry shell filled with memories clutched within her trembling hand.

AJ was gone...and she was lost in the void...



0900 HOURS
Two Weeks Later
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia


There was a rap at the door.

"Enter." AJ responded listlessly.

Harm entered the room, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh...Sir. Could I speak with you on a personal matter?"

Frankly, AJ didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. "Proceed, Commander. What is it?"

"It's about Colonel...Chegwidden, Sir."

AJ raised his head and gave the younger man a look of disbelief. Was he actually going to give him advice!

"Sir," Harm continued, preserving their protective layer of protocol, "The Colonel has asked me to attend Lamaze classes with her over the next six weeks. I was wondering if the Admiral could advise me on the matter?"

Would the pain never end, AJ shouted to himself from within the interiors of his mind. It seemed to just keep on coming, piling one layer upon another.

AJ stared wordlessly at the younger man.

"And is this something you're comfortable with, Commander?"

Briefly, Harm dropped his gaze to the crushed remains of this man he so admired.

"I am, Sir...if you are."

"Then proceed, Commander."

He paused, then spoke again, his words costing him more than anyone could ever know. "Harm..."

"Yes, Sir?"

"Would you keep me in the loop?"

Harm tried to keep the pity from his voice...knowing it was the last thing the Admiral wanted.

"Aye aye, Sir. Consider it done." Then, quickly, Harm retreated...leaving AJ alone with his thoughts.

Drained, the admiral sat listening to the tick of the ship's clock on the wall, his eyes scanning the mountains of paperwork heaped haphazardly atop his desk.

Silently, he lowered his face into his cupped hands, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Then, pressing the button on his intercom, he called out: "Tiner, cancel all my appointments...I'm going home."



1800 HOURS - One Month Later
Lamaze Class
Naval Medical Clinic
Marine Base Quantico


Harm tossed the pillows into the back of his SUV while Mac, now 8 months pregnant, angled her cumbersome frame into the passenger seat for the return trip home.

"How did Matthew MacKenzie Chegwidden behave 'in there' tonight?"

"Little Mac was a dream, as usual."

"Little Mac? Well, if that's 'Little Mac'...does that make you B...Ow!"

Mac gave Harm a jab to the shoulder.

"When are you due again? You act like you're going to explode!" he said, a lethal grin on his face.

"Just cut me some slack, 'Fly Boy'. You'll have a pregnant wife someday...and I hope she makes you pay for that crack!"

They both grew silent..."wife" was a buzzword they both avoided.

Mac was right, he thought. Someday, he might be going through the same thing with HIS wife...but it wouldn't be Sarah. She was the admiral's wife...and the admiral should be here with her now...not him.

Harm knew what the morning would bring. AJ would call him into his office on some pretense or other, then "phase" into a discussion of Sarah and the baby.

"How did she look?" he'd ask. "Is she eating alright?" And finally...a dozen questions down the line, "Did she mention me?"

He didn't know how THEY could stand it...it was breaking HIS heart!