- Mind Control
- Metro Magic
- Page 2
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Kevin's eyes bulged like an over excited cartoon character. My eyes teared watching his jaw drop wide open. Sheila, as planned, was still wearing her short, grey, pleated skirt and white, unbuttoned shirt. He snapped his head to me, then quickly back at my beautiful, shameless wife. As he stammered trying to form words, I said, "Kevin, meet Sheila. You just might remember her from the train earlier. By the way, the ring's a fake. It will never work."
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> * < Please vote BIG and leave or email constructive comments. Thanks....
[g ck 1/9/11]=========== 3762 words == Submitted 1/9/11
seminal image: hot girl on train strips as I instruct, friend(s) watch
15 hr to 1600 1/9/11 rev for RTF for LIT.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 13 years agoWhen you go read it again, you'll see some hints I planted about the twist. Things I *didn't* say count too. Now you know I planned to miss my stop to give the wife time to get home. I built up the ring backstory and added some tech to make it believable. I even included a sketch that didn't get posted.
seattlejackabout 13 years agoShucks, I thought the ring thing was really going to work! Also a nice twist at the end. Thanks,
Jack
