MidLife in Crisis: Joyce's Awakening

PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
Myhands316
Myhands316
1,179 Followers

Instead, I programmed in Elspeth's address into my new gadget, repacked my clothes and headed west. I had a lot of time to think over that day and a half that I drove toward my daughter. Yes, I knew she was still roommates with Amy. Even in our infrequent conversations, she had told me that much. I just didn't know what to expect when I knocked on their door.

It was during that trip that the two sides of me. Joyce, the perfect mother and Ministers wife, and Joy, the free-spirited girl who loved life and helping others, finally had it out. Joy was very angry at Joyce. During the long night, with the windows open, she screamed out her frustration. I am sure the cows and other animals understood. I was at my crisis point, but at least I was moving. If I was going in the right direction, I didn't know.

Just like I didn't know if it was more out of fatigue or fear, why my hands were shaking as I looked at the blank white door of their apartment. What seemed like a great idea in the darkness of the long night of driving now terrified me in the dawning of the day. I didn't even think of the time, or even what day it was. I knocked softly with my heart pounding in my chest.

"Quit being a wuss." Joy scolded me in my head. So, I knocked louder. By the third time I was almost pounding on their door.

"Just a minute." I heard a disgruntled voice. The door burst open and a tall, athletically fit young woman answered. "Yeah, Whatcha need?" She looked like I had dragged her out of bed.

"Who is it Babe...? I heard my daughter's voice.

"Don't know... but she looks familiar. I think it's your mom." She scratched her rumpled hair. "She looks a lot like you."

"Quit kidding around. My mom would never..." She came up in a very short shirt and hugged the woman from behind. Her face was a mask of astonishment when she finally saw me. "Mother...! What are you doing here?" Her face paled but she never let go of the girl.

"I left your father!" I blurted.

"YOU WHAT...?" Elspeth looked up at her companion in stunned disbelief.

"Sweetheart, why don't we let her in? I'm sure the neighbors don't need the extra entertainment this early on a Saturday morning. Besides you forgot your panties again." Amy said and kissed my daughter as she walked back into the apartment.

"Yes, come in." She reached out and pulled me into their home and closed the door.

I had to admonish Joyce numerous times to keep her big mouth shut. I know Amy lovingly stroked my daughter's backside in front of me to make a point. I also noticed the matching rings they wore and where they wore them.

"What happened?" Elspeth asked me, bringing me out of my private thoughts.

"I caught you father cheating on me." I could barely get the words out. "I've left him and have no intention of going back." I was shaking so hard I was vibrating.

"He what...?" Amy pivoted and headed back to me. Unknowingly, I hit a sore spot with her.

Before I could react, she looked at Elspeth and I was instantly engulfed in a warm double hug. "That sucks. It will be okay." I was shocked at Amy's reaction. I know they had to have talked about me. They'd been together for almost two years by then.

"Yes mom, it will be okay. We understand." My daughter was crying for me. "Do you have your stuff? We don't have much room, but you're welcome to stay here." She offered without pause. Amy just nodded her head in agreement.

"We'll call my moms'... they'll know what to do." Amy said to Elspeth.

"Yes, they will." She stroked Amy's face. "Sweetheart, can I have a few minutes with my mother?" I saw the look of devotion that passed between them and I understood so much. Richard never looked at me that way. Bernie had at one time, but that was so long ago, I wondered if I had imagined it.

"Sure babe... I'll go start cleaning the study and clearing off the bed. You two have a lot to talk about... remember it's your turn to cook." She kissed Elspeth and I felt a shock. It was like, for just a split second, I could feel their love for each other, pass through me. Joyce was mortified, but Joy was doing what Elspeth calls the happy dance.

Elspeth sat me down on their couch and held my hand. "I am so sorry mother." I know she was talking to Joyce.

"Baby-girl, just call me mom, if that's okay. It was your father who insisted on the formal address." I saw the tears in her eyes and wondered why I had let my husband ever cause a rift between me and my only daughter.

"Mom, I am sorry, but I'm glad too. Maybe now we can go back to talking like we did before... before I married Amy." She sighed. "I hope that doesn't send you away, but there is only complete honesty allowed in our house. You have to know I share everything with my wife. We love each other and will let nothing come between us. Can you live with that?" My daughter had grown into a mature woman and I missed so much of it. But, since honesty was the rule, I was honest with her.

"I don't know. I can see you love each other. I recognize it is love, not lust. Part of me is scandalized, but..." I held up my hand to stop her response, "another part of me is so very happy that you have found love and the strength to follow your heart." I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

"Thank you mom. I know that had to hurt on some level. I don't want to hurt you, but I will not hide the fact that I am married to Amy. There might not ever be another woman I could love, but I do love her and she loves me. We take our vows just as seriously as you took yours, to my father."

"How did my baby become so wise?" I cupped her face in wonder.

"I met a very special person. She accepted me for me and I fell in love with her. When I met her family, I found even more acceptance. Someone very smart told me. Finding love is like breathing. If it is right, you will know." She smiled at me. "There is so much I wanted to tell you." A single tear slipped past her guard and ran over my finger tips.

I saw her bible and had to ask. "Do you still read that?" I pointed to it.

"Yes, not every day, but often. I lead a women's group of our friends. I teach how God loves everyone who believes in him and though the Master's grace; we all can be saved. I even got Amy involved." She smiled sadly. "God is a big part of me and my wife accepts that."

"I'm sorry I missed your wedding." I was crying. I had missed so much.

"You were in my heart...."

"And in mine...!" Amy said from behind the couch. "My wife loves you and has always wanted to bring you here to visit. You are a part of her and I love all of her. You're welcome to stay as long as you can accept us. I honestly don't expect you to agree, but if we can find acceptance." She smiled through her brimming tears. "I hate to break this up, but I'm starving and I have to go in, in a few hours. Feed me woman." She leaned down and kissed Elspeth and walked away again.

"Come on mom, you can help." Elspeth pulled me up and held my hand as we went into their miniscule kitchen.

I stayed for two weeks. In that time, the rift I once thought was insurmountable started closing. I just had to keep telling Joyce to mind her own damn business. Yes, I blushed like a little girl, the first time I heard them making love to each other. I knew from the sounds, they both enjoyed pleasing the other. To be honest, some part of me was jealous. They had more sexual enjoyment in those two weeks than I've had in over twenty years of marriage.

I was hugged more times in one day at their small church, than I had in years of fellowship at Richard's. They sang, prayed and loved the Lord like I had never seen. It didn't matter that some of them had tattoos or piercing in places that made me hurt to look at them. I was amazed at how much love that empty storefront had, as they worshiped. They taught about the loving God, the forgiving God, not the punishing, angry, God. They openly admitted their Sin nature and tried to help those in crisis.

For the first time in years, I actually felt close to my God and Master. The Pastor had a long beard and was covered in tattoos. He rode one of them loud motorcycles. But he preached of the joy of heaven so well, you could almost see it waiting for you. It was the first time in years where I actually learned something new out of the bible.

There I was, in the den of iniquity, as my husband would call this place. With my openly lesbian daughter and her lover, learning about the Word in a way I have never done before. After service, the whole church went out and helped someone who needed it. We didn't get home until after dark. It was a day filled with God's Grace and I didn't know how to respond. My daughter had found her God, whereas I had lived years of Dogma, and called it God.

"So, what are you going to do?" Elspeth and Amy asked over dinner the next night.

"I'll have to go back and face him. He will have to seek the divorce. I have not broken my vows and will not break the marriage. I will not do anything to hurt the ministry." I held up a finger to stop their protests. "I made a hasty promise, but it is a promise all the same." I shrugged, not wanting to face him ever again, but knowing I had to.

"Where will you live? You're welcome here, but it will be easier to get things finalized if you were closer." Amy said honestly.

"I think I'll ask my good friend Bernie if I can stay with her during the divorce. She's a known quantity and will not damage my reputation or cause speculation of wrong doing. After that, I'll have to find a job I guess." There were so many unknowns then. There still are, but I am working through them one day at a time.

"Mom, you've worked for the church for as long as I can remember. I know they have a retirement program. If nothing else you'll have that to fall back on. Father cannot deny you that. Just call to the home office and have one of them take care of it." Elspeth said sagely.

"Listen to her Joyce. She's acing the Office Management stuff in school. Your daughter is one smart lady." Amy smiled at her lover and made me feel warm.

"Please, call me Joy. Soon there will not be a Joyce Wolford anymore. I think I'm finding that I actually starting to like Joy Hampton again. It has been a long time since I've been her." I hoped my daughter understood.

"Okay Joy, I'm going to give you the number to my moms'. Karney knows this really great lawyer. He helped my mom when my dad cheated on her. We've told them about your situation without going into the details." Amy held out a piece of paper with two women's names on it with one number.

"I think now that you will like my mothers'-in-law. They are some really special people. Karney taught me that it was okay to get married. She helped me pick out our rings. Just keep your mind open, like you have done here, and everything will work out for you." Elspeth said seriously.

"So you lived in a... with two...?" Okay, Joy was coming out, but Joyce was still there too.

"Yes, after my parents divorced, my dad married the woman he was having his mid-life affair with. My mom and her best friend Karney became lovers and partners. No, before you ask, I already knew I didn't like boys before all that happened. My family accepts us. Even my father has learned. He has my moms' watch my little brothers from time to time."

"OH my...! I never thought." Yes, I was blushing and I didn't even know why.

"Remember the scriptures. 'Were you find love, you will find the Lord'. This isn't about lust or perversion. I know you will have to think about it, but the help is there if you need it." Elspeth reassured me.

They gave me my privacy as I called and talked to Bernie. Bernie said that I could stay for a day or so, until we could have a talk and we could go from there. The next Monday, after a tearful goodbye, I started back.

I have learned that long drives are great for unfettered thinking. It gave me time to processes everything that had happened in the last month without getting in my own way. Deep down inside of me, I knew I was on my way to healing some long buried wounds. They say the longest journey starts with the first step. That was my first step.

***********************************************************

Third entry;

Too many questions and too many answers:

The past weeks have been trying. I met with my counselor, who Bernie referred me to, had it out with the leaders of the Church, and confronted my husband. I also learned more than I ever thought possible, about the world around me.

After I came back from visiting my daughters, I had a long overdue talk with my best friend and savior. I learned that although she had loved me for all these years, she wasn't in love with me anymore.

Okay, I am getting ahead of myself again. I tend to do that when I try to avoid dealing with my issues. I know that sounds so cliché. But trust me. I've learned I have issues.

On the drive home, I realized that Amy had called me mom more than Joy or Joyce. I realized as I watched the sun set, if I so chose, I now had two daughters; who loved me and accepted me unconditionally. I have often read about the healing nature of women. It was the first time I had ever experienced it firsthand.

I was bursting with news as I pulled into Bernie's drive. She, true to her nature, hugged me and welcomed me in. We chatted that evening about what had happened at the girls place and how things started to be different for me. She warned me of the trial to come and we decided to go to bed. She gave me a soft kiss goodnight. It felt nice.

That night I dreamed of being in the center of a hurricane. As long as I stayed in the center, I had peace. If I ventured out in any direction there was chaos and destruction. For some reason, I knew someone was there with me. They were always standing right behind me, giving me the strength to do what I had to do. I figured it had to be God. The next morning, over coffee and raisin tarts, Bernie sat across from me and asked.

"So, how do you feel about your daughter now?" I knew she was going somewhere with the conversation, but had no idea where.

"It was an eye opening experience. I have to say, I never expected what I found out. Oh, I have daughters, plural. Amy is my daughter-in-law." I smiled.

"Oh sweetie, that's great news." She beamed at me, but then got serious. "Joy-Joy, I have to say something that might shock you. Please, please; let me finish before you say anything. Can you do that for me?" She pleaded and I saw a great amount of fear in her eyes.

"Bernie, you are my oldest and dearest friend. I'd do anything you ask." I told her, meaning every word of it.

"Okay, I'm going to hold you to that. She sighed. "Sweetie, I know how Elspeth feels. I fell in love with you in high school. It was right after I lost my virginity to Tommy Porter." She smiled fondly in remembrance. "I have to admit, the sex felt good as long as it lasted, but something was missing. The next morning I figured it out. You were missing. If I could do that with you, then everything would be complete. Five days later you came and told me that Richard had asked you to marry him and you accepted. I was devastated." She smiled at the look on my face.

"Why...?" I started to ask.

"Remember, not until I'm done." She sighed again. "That was when I decided that I could only be your friend. That's when I knew I would have to find someone else to love. We both know I played with plenty of boys. I remember you teasing me about it. I didn't tell you everything. I played with just as many girls or with both at the same time. I learned that I enjoy sex very much. For a long time I equated sex with love. But the only problem with that, the only one I truly loved, was you." She laughed a little bit before going on.

"I guess in today's world, I would have been called a slut. Maybe I was. I know I was always careful who and what I did that with, after Debbie Jones came down with the clap. After a while I learned it was better to do that with married couples. They were safer. But, they were still not you." I couldn't help myself.

"You're in love with me?" I was shocked, but not as shocked as I might have been once.

"No... no, I'm not. I love you and have for more years than I can count. But, I knew when I kissed you goodnight last night, that the 'in love' part just exists in my fond memories."She sighed wistfully and then went on.

"You have to know what happens here on occasions. I have some lovers. You met them the night you left Richard. They have been married for over fifteen years. I have been making love to them just as long. I met them on their honeymoon."

"With both of them...?" I was astonished. I never thought Bernie of all people....

"Yes, with either or both. We even tired to live together for awhile but once she had children, it was too confusing for the kids. When she couldn't have sex, he would come over here. When he was away on business trips, she would be here in my bed with me. Bi-sexual is what they call it.

"But church...!"

"What about it. I love God and I am not committing adultery. Everyone knows and is okay with what happens. No one is cheating. I will not do anything that I could be doing and have the other come in and see. There is no shame and no guilt. Why don't you think I have never had children? There was no one I would want to have kids with, other than you. I had my kids through you. The only person I have ever really truly loved. You have to know this if you want to stay here while you do what is necessary."

"I couldn't...." I gasped at the implications.

"We wouldn't expect you to. This is between the three of us. But there are occasions that one or both will come over. If the mood is right, we will end up having sex. They are a very understanding and loving couple. They understood immediately when you showed up. You almost walked into something that would have shocked you." She smiled.

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. They know you come first, but they also know how strong my sex drive is. They are the only reason that I have been able to keep it discrete. I'm not ashamed of who and what I am. But on the other side of that coin, what I do in the privacy of my own home, and who I do it with; is no one's business but those involved." She reached out to see if I would take her hand.

I did. "You are right. If I had seen that after what I saw Richard doing, I would have run out of here screaming." I told her honestly. "You are also right; it is not my place to judge. Honestly, until I stayed with the girls, I didn't think sex could be pleasurable."

"Sweetie, one of the first things you need to do, is get some good counseling. You have way too much going on right now. Trust me, if you don't, you'll break. I don't want that. But I can't hide what happens either. That is why I said we had to have this talk first. I'm willing to go over to their house for awhile. But that will only last so long. Their kids are a hand full. That is why they like coming over here. Someplace they can let their hair down and not have to keep it quiet."

"Okay... um this is too much too fast." I was getting dizzy sitting there.

"That is why I'm going to suggest you call Margret Scott. She helped me through some pretty serious stuff. I think she can help you too. I know what it feels like to be the orphaned kid in the candy store. You've heard all you life about how great candy is, but never had any. Then all of a sudden, someone puts you into a candy store and says, 'have whatever you want'. That kid is likely to have a heart attack before he can get his or her first piece."

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked confused.

"Sweetheart, you are that kid. You've been in a loveless marriage from the beginning. You thought that it was all there is out there. Now, you find out there is more than you could ever imagine, and it's good. You find your daughter is in a loving relationship and enjoying sex on a regular basis, with another woman. You find that your best friend is a hyper-sexed, bi-sexual woman. You don't know where to go or what to do. You will either cave, running back Richard or go crazy. You need to deal with some of the twenty years of repression you've lived through. Then there are the issues of catching Richard in the act. That's one explosive mix."

Myhands316
Myhands316
1,179 Followers