Midnight Ch. 02

Still no sex, sorry - VirtualAtheist

*****

Over the next couple of weeks, I saw Alan and Erica here and there. We met up for a coffee at Starbucks in the city centre and one evening, Erica and Alan had me over for dinner at her flat.

That was when I saw she had a complete DVD collection of Star Trek, The Original Series (digitally remastered), The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager. She even had the complete collection of the animated series and all the films. I thought she was a fucking freak and told her so! She challenged me to a duel with Klingon Bat'leths.

What's saddest of all, is that she actually dug them out of her box room and showed them to me.

It was quite funny to see Alan and Erica together actually. They appeared to be joined at the hip, unless they were working, you never saw one without the other. It was hilarious to see them walking up the street holding hands, it was like watching Thumbelina with the Jolly Green Giant.

She also joined us for our usual get together at the Green Ginger Man. And it was then that I knew she was something special to Alan. I mean, in the time I'd known him, he hadn't been living like a monk. There had been more than one piece of arm candy hanging off him from time to time. But Erica was the only one who had ever been invited to 'our' time.

There was another thing that happened as a result of their relationship. Gina, one of the barmaids at Romeo's let me know that ­ as Erica was thought to have been a fag hag ­ Alan was now known as Big Gay Al... Not to his face though, at least not twice, obviously. Although the story grew over time. It was later said that Alan was to be feared because, not only would he beat you to a bloody pulp, he would also fuck you afterwards. When he heard that one, he laughed until he was crying.

That weekend, Alan didn't join us at the end of the night as usual, he simply signed off his hours and then went straight home. I had to get a taxi home and I was far from happy. And it was the same thing on all three nights.

Steve was there on Saturday night and for once his chat with the ladies didn't pay off, so I took him home, banged him senseless and threw him out on Sunday morning. I was limping all day and my pussy was on fire... Not in a good way. He had been particularly rough that night.

Anyway, when it was the evening for our usual get together, Alan turned up on his own at The Green Ginger Man and he looked, if not unhappy, then distracted.

I was a little concerned, "Where's Erica tonight? Are you two okay?"

He took a deep pull on his beer and answered, "We've got a bit of an issue at the moment."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"You gonna share it with me? Maybe I can help."

Alan rubbed his bald head and said, somewhat diffidently, "No... I can't."

That knocked me for six, "What? We share everything, Alan. What's so bad that you can't tell your bestest buddy?"

He growled, "You'd have to ask Erica that. It was her fucking secret!"

Alan refused to say any more, he simply stared at his pint in silence.

I was quite annoyed now, "Right! You've been in a mood since last Thursday. I'm fucked if I'm gonna spend my evening watching you sulk. I'm off!"

I stood up and marched out. Alan dashed after me and caught up outside, "Manni, I'm sorry... It's just Erica dropped a bombshell on me last week and I'm having a bit of difficulty getting my head round it. Come on. I'll give you a lift home."

Still annoyed, I replied, "No. You can drop me at Erica's. If you won't talk, maybe she will."

He sighed and then nodded, "Okay."

When he dropped me off at the Parade, he didn't even bid me goodbye, he simply drove away. I don't think he was being intentionally horrible, but something was definitely weighing on his mind.

I rang the bell to Erica's flat. After a few seconds, she opened the door and her appearance shocked me. She was wearing a white terry towelling robe and no make up. Her hair was a mess, tangled and knotted and her eyes were puffy and red from crying.

"Hello Erica, can I come in?"

Without a word, she pulled the door open wider and then walked back up the stairs to her flat. I followed her and went straight into the kitchen. I made her a mug of Lapsang Suchong with a twist of lemon and myself a milky coffee with three sugars. I took them back into her lounge where she was sprawled on the sofa staring at a small slip of card. Placing the drinks on her oak coffee table, I sat next to her and glanced at the card. It was one of those strip photographs that you get in a booth for passports and what have you. It was four pictures of her and Alan and they were laughing heartily in three of them. The last picture was of them kissing.

I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and said, "Okay. Talk to me."

She dragged her eyes from the photographs and looked at me, "I had a talk with Alan last week... I had something I needed him to know so that we could... could... be together," her eyes filled with tears and she sobbed, "And I've lost him. I think he hates me."

Erica threw her arms around my neck and sobbed into my shoulder. I didn't say anything, I just held her and stroked her back until she was able to regain control.

Eventually, she calmed down and pulled away, she wiped her eyes with a tissue and blew her nose, before taking a sip of her tea. Erica glanced at me and whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sure you have better things to do that sit here with me."

I grinned at her, "My friends have a problem. What sort of a mate would I be if I didn't try to help?"

She smiled back sadly but didn't say anything.

I asked, "You wanna share? Maybe I can help."

Erica stared at me for a long moment. I could see that she was thinking hard. She took a deep breath and came to a decision, the she stood up and said, "Instead of telling you, let me show you."

Erica pulled her robe open, slipped it off her shoulders and threw it on to the sofa next to me, "Look at me," she said, her face glowing red with nerves and embarrassment, "And tell me what you see."

Even with her long, yellow hair in disarray and her face red and blotchy from tears, she was a vision. That's the only word for it. She was beautiful. Her skin was milky white and I couldn't see a blemish anywhere on her smooth skin. Her breasts were not small, but they weren't big either, I'd say she was 34B­24­32 and her legs were long for her diminutive height and nicely slim. Fuck me, but I was so jealous of those legs.

She was wearing lacy yellow bra and panties, they were thin and wispy and I could just make out the pale pink of her nipples. Erica had a flat stomach with just a subtle hint of six pack that was clearly the result of time spent exercising.

"Erica, you're like a little china doll. I can't see a thing wrong with you."

She said softly, "Look closer."

I shrugged and scratched my head, but then tried again. I studied her from the top of her head and worked my way slowly down her body and muttered to myself as I checked her over, "Face, lovely. Arms, toned. Hands, tiny... Love your nails, you gotta tell me where you get them done."

She grinned at that one.

I continued my inspection, "Boobs, just right for your size. Curves in all the right places and I am so jealous of your legs, I might just break them for you. I see you decorate your toenails too."

I shook my head slowly and my eye fell on the only place I hadn't really inspected. I took a closer look at her panties, they were just as sheer as her bra and if I screwed up my eyes I could make out just a hint of blonde landing strip.

And then I saw it.

The gusset area was opaque. She was wearing something underneath and there was a slight bulge.

She could see where I was looking and said quietly, "It's called a gaff or a cache­sex. You wear it inside your panties to keep things tucked away."

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open, "Erica... Are you... Are you a man?"

She answered sadly, "No, but I'm not a woman either."

"Transexual?"

Erica retrieved her robe and put it back on before sitting down next to me. She stared into space and then said, "Not a Transexual no. I'm a Hermaphrodite."

"What's that?"

"I've got both. I've got women's plumbing and men's as well."

Shocked, I remained silent and let her speak, "I was born with both sets of sexual organs. My childhood wasn't a happy time. My mum was happy to follow the doctor's advice and let me decide whether I wanted to be male or female when I was old enough to make my own decision."

She took another sip of her tea and continued, "But my Dad wasn't standing for that. He was desperate for a son and tried to force me to live as a boy. Football, dressing in male clothing, playing with boys toys and he wouldn't allow a doll in the house."

Erica blinked back tears at the harsh memories, "It caused no end of arguments, I remember that. School wasn't easy either. I had a special dispensation so that I was excused games."

"Excused games?"

She nodded, "Yep. Couldn't have me using communal showers after sports. Actually I was quite pleased about that. You see, it didn't matter how much my Dad tried to force me into the male role, I knew... I knew from the age of seven years old that I wanted to be a girl... But there was no telling him. I went into therapy, I saw psychiatrists, psychologists and every other fucking 'ologist' you can think of... All of them agreed with me, I was meant to be female."

Her shoulders started shaking and I had difficulty understanding her words as her voice was thick with emotion. I gently stroked her back, "Come on," I said, "Let it out."

"But Dad just wouldn't listen. HE WOULDN'T FUCKING LISTEN! I lost count of the times that I've sat at the top of the stairs listening to my parents have knock down drag out fights for as long as I could remember. And I knew that almost all of them were about me. Do you have any idea how much guilt I carried? Knowing that the main cause of most of the fights throughout their marriage was me! And whether I was a boy or a girl."

Erica took a deep breath, gathered her thoughts and murmured, "It came to a head when I was twelve. I went to my Mum when Dad was at work and told her I wanted to live as a girl, I didn't feel like a boy and that I never had."

She held her hands up in front of her and lifted her legs so her feet were on the coffee table, "See? I have women's hands, women's ankles. I'm not like those Frankenstein monsters you see that look like a bloke with false tits in a dress."

"I think you have lovely hands."

"Anyway, Mum gave me a hug and brushed my hair back. I always wore it long even though Dad was always shouting at me to get a nice short back and sides. Then she bundled me out of the house and dragged me down to British Home Stores and took me straight to the girls clothing section. She told me that she'd had enough and if Dad didn't like it, he could go and fuck himself!"

Erica snorted back a laugh, "That shocked me more than anything. I'd never heard her swear before. Anyway, we spent two hours looking at clothing and trying things on. You have no idea how I felt, the first time I looked at myself in the changing room mirror in a summer dress. I was so happy I could have burst."

She took another sip and found her drink was cold. I told her to wait and nipped into the kitchen to get two glasses and a bottle of white from the fridge. Once I'd poured two healthy measures, I let her continue, "We got some funny looks I can tell you. Some woman coming in with an effeminate looking boy and trying on the girl's clothing. I'll always remember my Mum being taken to one side by a shop assistant and exchanging a few quiet words. The look on that woman's face was a picture. Then they both came back to me and the assistant asked me if I minded her joining us in the changing room. I said I didn't mind, so back she came. I slipped the dress off and she saw for herself that I was growing little buds on my chest. She said, 'I think you need a training bra'... I could have cried."

Erica placed her hands on her chest, "See these? They're real! I've never had a scalpel near them. Admittedly I had hormone injections to help, but these are home grown."

After a swift glug of wine, she continued with her story, "When we got home, Mum had me put on my new underwear and a yellow dress with puffed sleeves and a nice pair of sandals. She brushed my hair out and gave it a bit of styling with her curling tongs, she helped me with makeup. When I saw myself in the mirror I couldn't believe what I saw. I saw the girl I was always supposed to be. Mum was in tears and I'll never forget her words... She kissed me on the cheek, held me in her arms and told me that she'd be proud to call me her daughter."

Erica stared into space for a moment and then glanced at me with a half smile, "That was the first time in my life I was happy... Truly happy. The only thing was, we didn't know how my Dad would react. Mum told me to wait in the kitchen and let her talk to him... Prepare him before I came into the living room."

Her expression darkened, "I listened to Mum and Dad talking, I couldn't hear what they were saying at first, but I could hear their voices getting louder and louder until I heard Mum shout, 'She's supposed to be a girl and you are just going to have to fucking deal with it! Erica (the name on my birth certificate was Eric) come out here please.' I must admit, I was shitting myself, but I stepped into the living room to face my Dad. I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't think he would ever do what he did. He was furious and he slapped me so hard across the face that I fell down. He shouted that no son of his was going to be a 'mincing fucking gay boy!'"

Erica ran her fingers through her hair, "Mum went mad! She picked up the first thing that came to hand, which was a brass coal shovel from the fireplace and attacked Dad with it. She smacked the living shit out of him and she was screaming and screaming, 'I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! DON'T YOU EVER RAISE YOUR HAND TO MY DAUGHTER!' Then she threw him out. He stormed off upstairs, packed a suitcase and left. That was the last time I ever saw him."

"I was screaming too. I thought it was all my fault... I was sorry... I didn't mean to be bad. Mum just gathered me in her arms and held me..."

I watched as she sat staring at her glass, lost in her thoughts. I must admit I was misting up. I mean at least I was on the cusp of adulthood before my life went to rat shit. I took a sip of my wine and said, "If this is too difficult..."

Erica smiled sadly at me, "No, it's good. I've never told anyone about this before... I think it's helping to talk about it."

Another sip and she went on with her story, "Mum kept me off school for the next couple of days and went in to speak to the headmaster. Apparently they had a meeting and agreed that it would be best for me to attend a different school. She told me that he himself had no problem with me coming to school as a girl, but he thought it best that I went somewhere where they didn't know about my issues. Children can be fucking cruel... My words, not his."

Erica stared at nothing for a moment and then said, "Anyway, that's what happened. Mum even moved house so we lived in a new part of the city, where nobody knew me as a boy. The new school were made aware and yet again I was excused sports. It was okay I suppose, but I still couldn't fit in... Not quite. I mean I had my circle of friends, but I couldn't do what the other girls did. No boyfriends, no kissing and making out behind the bike sheds. It would only take one misplaced hand and my secret would be out. Once I was fully developed the surgery could start. My Adam's apple needed a minor readjustment to reduce it's prominence. I was lucky actually. That and the surgery I haven't had yet were the only ones I needed."

A single tear made its way down Erica's cheek, "I really should have been born a girl. Anyway, that was my childhood."

I massaged the back of her neck and said, "So how come you haven't had the surgery... Down there?"

"Because I was frightened. The surgeons have told me that it could be quite risky. My plumbing is quite complicated. I thought it best to have a good reason to have it done... You know I've never... Done anything... With a man. I always thought that nobody would want to be with me because I was such a freak! So I didn't go through with it. Never thought I'd have a good enough reason to take the risk."

Erica picked up the strip of photographs and stroked Alan's face with her thumb, "And then I met Alan. How does he do this to me? Three weeks I've known him. Three fucking weeks! I finally found someone to love and who loved me back. Yes, I fell in love with this big, ugly bastard in three short weeks. Didn't mean to... Didn't want to... But I did anyway. I finally found a reason to complete my surgery... And he never let me tell him. He just stormed out before I could explain."

She dropped the photographs back on the table, put her head in her hands and whimpered, "And now he won't talk to me. He hates me."

Well, what can I tell you? We finished the wine and started another bottle. I wasn't concerned, tomorrow was my day off from the cafe and Erica could open her shop late if she wanted, and we talked long into the night. About lots of things, she went into great detail about her condition.

Fucking complicated!

Did you know there are grades of Hermaphroditism?

S'true. Some are mostly male, some are mostly female and some are half and half. Erica was mostly female.

I was quite startled. But we also drifted off into other areas, you know, girl stuff. She put Titanic on to play on the DVD and we were gonna watch it, but as it turned out, it just became background noise while we chatted.

I asked her why she only ever went to the Pink Poodle before she knew us.

"I never felt safe going anywhere else. You know that's one of the things I love about Alan. I have been frightened my entire life, never felt safe, not really. And then I met you and Alan and I got two things. I got you... I got a friend. I've never had a friend before."

She reached out and placed her tiny hand on my shoulder, "Thank you for being my friend."

Well that set us both off. We cried, we hugged and we cried some more. After we calmed down and glugged some more of her wine, she said, "And then there was Alan. Apart from the love, you know what he gave me?"

"What?"

"When I'm with him I feel safe. I'm not scared... Of anything. Oh a little scared maybe, but only about my secret, about what would happen when I told him. But I wasn't frightened of the outside world. He has this way of making you feel... Protected, you know?"

I nodded, "I know exactly what you mean. Trust me on this."

Erica glanced at the clock and exclaimed, "Shit! Look at the time, it's nearly 1 AM! I'm not having you walking back to your flat on your own at this hour. Do you want to stay the night?"

I looked at the sofa, it was plush leather and I knew it wouldn't be too bad for sleeping on, "Sure, thanks."

Erica blushed slightly, "Actually I was going to offer you one side of my bed," she must have seen something in my face so she hurried on, "Just to sleep. It'll be more comfy than the sofa."

I grinned, "You're not gonna jump my bones in the night I hope."

She laughed, "You're safe Manni, trust me. What is it you say? I'm all about the cock... And I don't mean mine!"

We went through to the bedroom, and got undressed. Erica saw my bra and screwed up her face, "Ewww! That thing looks like it's made of scaffolding!"

It was true, it was nothing like the yellow confection she was wearing, "Not my fault. I can't get lovely undies in my size. I need loads of support for these great funbags"