Milk and Cookies

I looked her in the eyes. "And Tia, to get this, I've worked very hard. I put in long hours, for many years. And I got by, but I didn't get rich. So if you're planning on funding a university education from a few years of adult work... you might be badly mistaken. There's not as much money in porn as some people think there is. These days, an average girl, working hard... she'll start at about $50,000 a year. Before taxes. The top end of the industry is about $350,000... but there are very, very few girls that earn that much." I tented my fingers together, drew a breath, and looked at her. "I think that... realistically, you could probably plan on earning perhaps $100,000 a year. And that's working it like a full time job, showing up on time, being a professional."

I drew a breath. "It's not an awful lot more than you could earn in tips as a hostess at a higher end restaurant, just like Crastenberry's. And tips don't necessarily get reported as income, but everything you do as an adult porn star gets documented, and taxed. And disease is a factor; in general, performers in the adult film industry have roughly double the occurrence of sexually transmitted disease, when compared to the general population."

"And then, there's the stigma. Let's imagine it's 4 years from now, you have your tuition saved, you've been approved, you're 7 months in to your first year... and a video you starred in lands on the Deans desk. All Universities have the right to kick you out for what they consider to be 'behavior that has reflected poorly on the schools moral values'. And that has happened; girls have been terminated from schools, jobs, careers... just because they did some work in the porn industry ten years ago."

"And, there's the booze and the drugs. I don't think that's been an issue for you, but it is an issue in the industry... and you could get drawn in. Peer pressure, wanting to fit in... it could easily happen. And nothing burns through your earnings faster than a drug habit."

"So really, Tia... if your goal is to make money for an education... you'd probably be better off finding a place like Crastenberry's. Work as a hostess for five years, bank your money... you'll have the same amount of cash, but you won't have the stigma to deal with, the health risks to deal with, the drugs to deal with."

Tia was looking down, with that little girl pout. She looked sad. "But Dad... I want to be a porn star. That's what I really want to do."

"Oh, Honey." I sighed, and felt... old. "Tia... I've seen so many girls come in. This industry grabs them, gobbles them up, uses them up, spits them out and doesn't look back. They wind up age 35, aged before their time, often with health issues that can't be cured, and no prospects. They're too old to find adult film work, they have no job skills, it's too late to get an education... honey, this industry destroys lives. Please don't do this."

Tia looked at me inquisitively. "Dad, if it's so awful... why do you work in it?"

I sighed. "Partly because no one told me the truth when I started. Partly because I had three mouths to feed. Partly because it wasn't this bad when I started. And partly because..." I looked down. "Tia, I'm running on empty. I'm too old to learn anything else, and no one would hire me if I did. So I keep on working, mostly because I lack the courage to leave... and the ability to do anything else."

"So... what do I do?"

I spread my arms helplessly. "I dunno. Be a librarian?"

Tia laughed. "Only if I can be a naked librarian." She paused. "Hey, I'll bet it would boost interest in the local library!"

"That it would. I'm sure." I pursed my lips. "If you're really set on this, let's try to do it with as much class as possible. I've still got some contacts at Playboy. They'll want to see some work... I know a couple of local photographers that aren't too bad. I'll swing a deal with them and get them to do some stuff of you that I can fire off. After that..." I paused. "We should just sit tight. If I can get you into Playboy it'll boost your marketability dramatically, and they have their own video arm that does soft porn. But if I can't... well, we'll figure that one out if we get there. Let's just plan on working The Rabbit, at least for now."

"That all sounds fine," said Tia. "But what was that part about other photographers?"

I shrugged. "We need some topless and nude portraits of you for Playboy. I can't do them, so I'll have to get them done by someone - but don't worry, Tia; I'll handle the financial end. It won't cost you anything."

"But, Dad -" Tia shrugged helplessly. "You're a photographer! A really good one! Why do I have to go somewhere else?"

"Because I'm your father, and these portraits should have some element of sensuality to them... and I don't think a father should be taking sexy photographs of his naked daughter. That's the reason, Tia." I sighed. "Let me make some calls. I can probably set something up for later in the week."

She stood up. "Dad, stand up, please."

I stood up, my brow furrowed; and Tia came over and gave me a big hug, her head pressed against my neck, her arms tight around my back, swaying slowly... and eventually, she stopped.

"I had to do that now, because I'm gonna go take off my clothes now, and I needed enough of a hug to last me a while." She gave me a shy smile. "Be right back."

I scrunched my eyes tightly shut, and shook my head. Aww, hell. What would SuperDad do? What should I be doing?

I should never have let her talk me into letting her be nude around the house.

And, true to her word, she was back in a flash... totally naked, with a radiant smile. "Ta-Daa!" and she laughed. "Now, let's go to the studio."

I stood my ground. "Tia, I'm not taking sexual pictures of you. I refuse."

She shrugged. "It's okay, Dad. If you want to send me off to have sexy, provocative nudes taken of me by a total stranger, that's fine. But for right now, let's just do some non-sexy, non-provocative nude shots. Some glamour stuff. Some art stuff. The kind of stuff you always said you wanted to do." She tugged at my arm. "Please?"

I sighed. I was clearly being out-maneuvered by an 18 year old. "Okay... go grab your makeup. There's also a few essentials in the studio change area. I'll go get some film loaded, meet you in the studio."

I was just getting the RB settled on the tripod when she came in. I motioned her over to the change area - a large counter top with a sink, a brightly lit mirror, and a clothes rack.

"Don't overdo the makeup - a lot of porn stars do that, but it'll kill your chances at The Rabbit. Just aim for the look you'd want for an elegant night out on the town. And you'll want to get some base makeup on your chest, as well as the crease under your breasts. If you don't do that, it'll look like a scar." I gave her a quick scan. "No tattoos?"

Tia smiled brightly. "Nope - but I'm gonna get a flaming dragon on my back with my first paycheck!"

I shook my head. "Don't. Tattoos go in and out of style - and right now, they're going out. People want the pure, innocent look, and certainly that's what Rabbit wants. Besides, with a body like yours, putting a tattoo on it would be the equivalent of scrawling graffiti over the Mona Lisa."

Tia smiled. "Daddy... that's the first time you've ever said you liked my body!"

"...Yeah. Tia, you absolutely have everything it takes to make it big in this business. I think this is a bad career move, but... you've got the assets. You'll be able to make this work."

Tia looked at me in the mirror and smiled coyly. "Dad... do you like my boobs?"

I looked at her steadily. "Tia, cut it out. The only way this will work is if you don't come on to me."

She look at me grumpily. "Dad, I was only asking."

"Well, you got your answer." I pointed at the drawer. "There's a hair curler in there - you might want to just give your hair a bit more bounce." I sighed. "I'm going to go get the lights set up, and get a green screen down in case we need it. Come on over when you're ready." And I turned, and walked away.

Tia walked over about ten minutes later, looking a little bit shy, and a little bit angry. I tried to be professional, but not brusque. "Okay, Tia, just come over here. We'll do some profile stuff first, so if I can just get your left side towards the camera..." I adjusted the main light so that it strongly illuminated her silhouette, while leaving her face in shadow. "Okay, just look down..." I fired several frames. "Now, just reach up and touch your chin with your hand..." I proceeded to run through my standard repertoire of very soft core images - some silhouettes, some high key diffuse, all nude, none sexual. Finally, we were done.

Tia looked at me. "Dad, can we do some bondage stuff?"

My eyes widened. "No, we certainly can't! Look, Tia, we've got some good stuff here. Let's just see what we've got, first."

Tia bit her lip. "Okay, Dad. It's just... I wanted to do some, but... there's no one else I trust. It's not sexual, Dad. It's art - at least, if you do it, it'll be art." She looked down. "I... don't wanna have to pay somebody I don't know, and.. you know, be in handcuffs... naked. With some guy I don't know. I'd be afraid." She looked at me, her face anxious and wheedling. "Please?"

I closed my eyes, and took a deep sigh.

"Oh, Tia... Whatever. I give up. Sure, we'll do some bondage stuff. Some artistic bondage stuff. And then, you have to promise me you'll put your clothes back on."

"Yea!" Tia jumped up and down, causing her breasts to bounce back and forth. "Can we have cookies after?"

I looked at my watch. "Well, it's going to be pushing suppertime by the time we're done. How would you feel about a seared peppercorn steak and asparagus in a butter sauce?"

"Sure. But cookies later?"

I nodded. "Yes. Cookies later."

In the corner of the studio where I kept my props I had a large paper mache prop that looked like an old wooden post; it was about 36 inches in diameter, and eight feet tall. I rolled it over, and positioned it in front of the camera. "Okay, Tia. Come on over, and we'll get you fastened. Handcuffs first."

The handcuffs were on a winch designed to compensate for the height of different models; the fine gearing on the winch meant it took a while to get the exact positioning, but I could get the perfect height I wanted. Standing in front of her, I fastened her left wrist in one cuff, and slowly winched it into position; and then I reached over and got her other wrist into the cuff. This had the effect of causing me to lean against my naked daughter, her breasts lightly grazing my shirt. As I worked the winch, her breasts moved up and down against me... up, and down...

Tia giggled. "Hey, you were the one with the no contact policy whenever I was nude."

I sighed. "Yeah, well, this is work, dammit."

"Well, you look like you're enjoying your work," she teased, looking at my tented crotch.

"Okay, let's do your feet," I said a bit gruffly. The ankle restraints looked like thick, rusted iron; in fact, they were lightweight plastic. "Okay, one foot over here..." I clicked the plastic cuff together - "...and the other foot over here." I looked up at her. "You need to shuffle your foot a bit more around, honey."

She looked down at me doubtfully. "Dad... my balance is wrong. I'm afraid I'm going to fall forward."

I nodded. "That's the idea, honey. We want to shift your weight a bit, so that you're hanging partially from your arms. Watch." I thumped her foot with the side of mine, moving it over about six inches, and snapped the plastic cuff around it.

"Now, your muscles have shifted; you look like you're actually in bondage. Much better."

Tia looked at me. "I don't just look like I'm in bondage, Dad - I actually am in bondage."

I smiled. "Yep. Can't make fake look real. Think of it as your first reality shoot."

I went back to the camera, looked through the viewfinder, flipped up the magnifier...

Awww, crap.

I looked up. "Honey, you didn't put any rouge on your nipples."

Tia looked at me. "You said to put some base on my chest. You didn't say anything about my nips."

"But I meant..." I stopped in frustration. "I'm sorry, Tia. I'm used to working with professional models. When I said chest, I meant..."

She nodded. "You meant boobs and nipples. The whole package." I nodded.

"Okay," I sighed. "Nothing for it. We'll have to get you out of the bondage clamps, so that you can do your makeup." I sighed in frustration. It had taken ten minutes to get Tia into position, it would take another 10 minutes to get her free, and then another 10 minutes to get her back in place.

Tia gave me a matter of fact look. "Dad, don't bother unhooking me. Just go get whatever you want from the makeup table, and you do my nips."

I looked at her. "Honey, I'm not going to put makeup on your breasts!"

She looked at me in frustration. "Jesus, Dad. It's not a big deal. Just pretend it's a finger, or something." She sighed. "Dad, I'm trying to cut you a lot of slack... but you really have to start trusting me." She looked at my uncertain face. "Dad. Look at me. Now. Go to my makeup bag, get the color you want, and put it on my... damned... nipples. And while you're at it, please... stop being such a prude."

Awww, fukkit. I went to her bag, sorted through the various colors..."Honey, you don't have the right color rouge."

Tia shrugged. "Use lipstick, then. Or a combination. Something should work."

So I gathered several colors, and went to work. "I think we'd better start with lipstick as a base..." I rolled the lipstick gently against her nipple. Of course, she started to react; her nipple swelled slightly. "Honey, I have to smear it in."

Tia laughed. "Dad, it's fine. Just make it look good."

So I smeared and rubbed lipstick around Tia's nipples, using my finger to brush and blend the colors exactly. It took a while; none of Tia's lipsticks were exactly the color I wanted, so I had to smear several colors into her nips. Finally, I stood back; I had exactly the color I wanted, and her nipples were thick, taut, and fully engorged.

And, in concentrating on getting her nipples, I'd messed up the base makeup on her breasts. I didn't even bother protesting; I just got the base from her makeup bag, and applied it thoroughly to her breasts. Finally, she was done. I stood back, took a look...

"Just a moment Hon. Be right back." I went to the makeup table and got a comb. "Gotta fluff the muff, Honey," and started combing her pubic hair, starting from the bottom and combing to the top. And I looked at my work... Aww, what the hell. At this point, it could hardly matter. I turned the comb vertically and parted her pubic hair to each side, combing it carefully to fully expose her young treasure. Which was just barely moist. I could smell the musky odor of a woman in heat... and it was all I could do to resist.

But resist I did. I went back to the camera, and checked my work; and it was perfect. "Okay, honey. Twist your head to the side, and look up; look angry." I fired a few frames. "Okay. More anger and rage. Pull against the restraints. Show teeth." Several more shots. "Okay, relax. Let your body sag. Look down. Submit."

And we continued in this way until I felt I had what I wanted. And then, I had an idea.

"Honey, just bear with me. I've got an idea I want to try." I took the softbox off the mainlight and attached a reflector; this gave me a much harsher light, with stronger shadows. Then I rolled the light around so that it was just skimming Tias soft, young body; the light brought out the perfection of her torso, gently outlining her ribs and the rich swelling of those beautiful breasts. I brought the fill light intensity down to increase the contrast, added a bit of kicker light to separate her from the background...

And it was almost perfect. Almost, but not quite.

"Tia..." I sighed. "Your nipples. We need to get them sticking out again."

Tia smiled at me. "Well, you know what worked the last time!"

And that's when I gave up. I went over to my daughter, and, looking in her eyes, gently stroked her nipples with my finger. I felt them swelling beneath my finger, as I continued stroking them; and eventually, Tia started to breathe heavily, rolling her head from side to side. I felt her body begin to tremble slightly; and I think we both knew what was about to happen. After several minutes she took a gasping breath, and said urgently, "Dad?"

I continued to stroke her nipples. "Yes?"

She closed her eyes, shaking her head from side to side. Rub my pussy... please!"

So I reached down and gently stroked her pussy, bringing my finger gently in contact with her clit, dragging my finger slowly up... and then I did it again. And again. And again...

And almost immediately, Tia's body spasmed; she thrust her head back, and sweat burst from every pore of her body. I stopped stroking her pussy, and just gently held my finger against her clit; eventually, she stopped shaking, and gave me an embarrassed, happy smile.

"Oh, God, Dad, that was good." She was breathing heavily, that young chest heaving, those beautiful boobs rolling from side to side. She started to giggle uncontrollably. "I... wow. I must have really needed that!"

I leaned against her, and closed my eyes. Sadness engulfed me; I'd given in to my most base instincts, and stopped being a Dad. Just for that moment; but I'd failed, nonetheless. I'd failed at just about everything else in life, and now I'd failed as a father as well. I felt bitter tears welling up in my eyes.

"Hey... Dad." Tia said softly. "Hey... you're getting makeup all over your shirt." She sensed my sadness. "Dad... could you untie me?"

So I snuffled, trying to pretend that I wasn't crying; and I freed up her legs; and I winched her arms down, and freed her hands. And she just looked at me, and impulsively threw her arms around me, and hugged me hard; and I started to sob, strongly and deeply. And Tia just held me, hugging me hard, rocking me gently, trying to squeeze all the pain from my soul.

And eventually, I stopped sobbing; I was all cried out, but I was still miserable. Tia looked at me gently, with pure love in her eyes, and stroked my face gently with her beautiful hand. "Dad... Dad. It's all right." She kissed me softly. "I had no idea. I had no idea." She smiled softly. "Come with me." She tugged insistently on my arm.

And so I followed her, dumbly, unresisting; and she led me to my own bedroom.

"Dad, get undressed."

I shook my head, turning my face away from her. "No, Tia. Please. I don't want to do that." My face started to collapse into tears again.

Tia didn't even ask why; she just gently unbuttoned my shirt, and pulled it off my unresisting body. She unbuckled my pants, and sent them to the floor along with my underwear. "Dad... Dad," she said gently, insistently. "Come to bed, Dad. Lets lie down."

And so we lay down; Tia pulled a blanket over us, and we spooned for a long time, with Tia hugging me from behind. She stroked my chest. "Dad... oh, Dad. Tell me where all that sadness came from. Tell me about that."

I sighed. "Oh, Tia... I've tried to be successful. I've tried so hard. I wanted to be a good family photographer, but I couldn't earn a living. So I did porn, even though I didn't want to do it. Your Mother hated me for doing it, and I failed... I wrecked our marriage. And so I worked even harder to make extra money so that you'd have a good childhood, and I tried so hard... and your Mother never forgave me."

I sighed raggedly. "Look at me, Tia. I'm a failure. Near retirement, and nothing to show for it. I've wrecked my entire life. No one loves me, no one cares about me... I'm alone." I took a long, slow breath. "You know, I hoped that if I just worked hard enough, just sent enough money, your Mother might come back to me. I loved her so much. But, she never did come back. She abandoned me, and I'd have done anything to win back her love... but she never let me try. So... I guess I just felt that she must be right. I wasn't worth loving."