Misgivings

The women sat down, and in the blink of an eye Derek slid his way over to her.

"Hi Bri." He said in a sickeningly puppy love kind of way.

She turned her head away to make a gagging face. "Hi everyone."

"So are your studies still improving?" Tiffany asked.

"They sure are. I don't dread going to some of my classes anymore."

"What's your secret?" Frank inquired curiously.

"Bri has a personal tutor." Her cousin answered.

"Tiffany. Stop that."

Frank watched the nonverbal exchange between them, and asked, "So, who is this lucky guy to be giving you private lessons?" He wiggled his black eyebrows for affect.

Derek hung his head in disappointment that the woman he wanted badly was shagging another guy.

"It's not like that. I've been having trouble with my studies, and Marty has been a great help."

"Ooohh, Marty. Do I know him?" He questioned sarcastically.

Tiffany interjected. "Marty is the janitor. I'm sure you've seen her around."

Frank's charcoal eyes grew wide. "You're talking about that crazy retarded bull-dyke janitor?"

"She is not crazy or retarded." Bri yelled in anger.

"Well from all the noises and grunts she makes, she should be locked in the monkey cage at the zoo. That way she'll be at home with her own kind."

"You fucking little shit. You're the one who needs to be put in with the primates since your brain and your dick, as I hear it, is as little as theirs."

The rest of the table quieted down as people began to stare and wonder what was going on.

Lowering her voice, she said, "Marty is extremely smart. She knows more than all of us combined. And she is a great person."

"She's a dyke, and is probably planning on how to get in your panties." Derek stated vehemently.

Bri turned fiery green eyes at him. Calmly and firmly she declared, "If that were the case, and it's NOT, I'd be more willing with her since she hasn't ever touched me. Unlike you who can't keep your filthy hands to yourself." Getting up, she stomped from the table.

"Both of you have said very unkind things. Frank, don't bother calling me later. I don't want to speak to you for a while." Tiffany followed after her cousin.

********

Inside her room, Brianna lay face down on her bed. A few errant tears continued to trickle down rosy cheeks.

Tiffany sat on the edge of the mattress. "I'm sorry. I didn't think they would be such jerks. Especially Frank." She brushed her fingers through Bri's reddish blonde tresses in an attempt to soothe her cousin. "Bri I have something I'd like to give you." She retrieved a book that was tucked away in one of her drawers.

The small woman sat up and wiped at her face. "What is it?" She took hold of the book and green eyes grew as big as saucers at the title. "The Ultimate Guide to Lesbian Sex? Tiffany... what... the hell... is wrong with you?"

"Bri, please, I'm not stupid. And you know I don't care if you're lesbian, straight or bi. I want you to be happy, and I know that when you're with Marty you're very happy. I got this book last week because I thought you might want to be informed before you... you know, take the plunge." She sat there twirling her thumbs.

Brianna wiped away a few more tears that had recently fallen. "You know, I didn't realize until just last week how much I enjoy and actually crave her company. I find myself touching her as often as I can, and yet she's always very careful. She shoves her hands in her pockets a lot. Do you think she likes me?"

Tiffany chuckled. "Well, from the stories you tell me of you and her spending time together... I'm sure of it. And I think you might need to be the one to breech the subject first. You have to understand that she may not make the first move because she knows you to be straight. Don't you see? She doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, or jeopardize the friendship."

A blonde head nodded silently.

"I have to go. I have a history paper to turn in, and you remember I'm going home this weekend. We can talk more when I get back, okay?"

Bri nodded again. "Thanks... for everything."

*********

After spending the early evening devouring the book Tiffany gave her, Bri lay back on the bed and hugged her pillow tightly. "Damn, there's a lot of info in there. And the visual drawings are quite a sight. Well, now that I'm very horny to the point that it hurts, what should I do? Great, now I'm staring at my ceiling while talking to myself. You're losing it Bri." Rolling over she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Hi Marty."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Um... would you like to get together tonight?"

"Sure, what subject are we going to work on?"

"No. I mean... I could use a break from studies."

"Oh... um... okay. What do you have in mind?"

"Um... I don't know. How about a club? Dancing would be a nice stress reliever." Bri smiled weakly to herself.

"Okay, I'll pick you up at ten."

"Great. Bye." Hanging up, she rubbed her face and then said to no one, "I better take an ice cold shower before you come over or I'll be begging you to fuck me, and that's not a nice way to breech the subject."

**********

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Brianna opened the door. "Hey. I'm almost ready. I just need to use the bathroom."

"Okay." Marty planted herself on the bed. Noticing the red cover of the book lying on the nightstand, she picked it up, and flipped through it. "Hmm. Nice drawings."

Bri returned and saw her perusing the lesbian book. She quickly grabbed it from large hands, mostly out of embarrassment, and threw it over on Tiffany's side of the room. "Um... that's Tif's. She's working on some... paper about gay and lesbian sex." Her cheeks turned a deep crimson. "Uh... ready to go?"

Marty looked at her suspiciously, but decided to drop the subject. "Sure."

They pulled up to the new club in town. Bri tapped the tall woman on her leather-clad shoulder. Marty turned her head while holding the bike steady.

Flipping up the visor, she said, "No, not here. Let's go to a place that you enjoy."

The dark woman frowned. "You want to hang out in a dyke bar?"

"Why not? I'd like to see what it's like and maybe the people you interact with?"

"Alright." Marty responded hesitantly then kicked the bike in gear.

In a neighborhood that Brianna had not visited before, they parked along a side street under a street lamp. They walked up to what looked like a darkened and closed building, but as soon as they got to the door, Brianna could hear the music coming from within. Once inside, the shorter woman moved closer to her escort.

Instinctively Marty put a large hand on the small of the young woman's back. She leant over and whispered in her ear. "No one's going to bite you. Unless... you want to get bitten."

Bri shivered at the warm breath and seductive voice caressing her ear.

"Hey Marty, whaddya been up to? Who's the new Fox?" the bartender called out loudly.

"Hey Brick." She addressed the broad Amazonian looking woman behind the bar. "This is Bri. She's a friend."

"Oh, yeah?" Brick looked over at the young blonde. "Baby, can I be your friend? Cause you sure are hot. Mmm mm mm."

"Brick lay off. Just give me a beer and..." She looked at Bri.

"Same." The small woman responded.

"Two beers." Marty threw down a bill from the leather wallet chained to her jeans. Grabbing both bottles by the neck, she led Brianna to a small table against the wall by the pool tables.

"So this is where you hang out?" Bri asked.

"I guess you can say that. I don't come often. I don't care much for the drama." She took a swig of beer.

Bri looked around the dim place. It wasn't very crowded. She saw many different types of women and it helped her relax to see that she didn't stand out. "So, if you come here, why were you at the new place in downtown that one night you came to my rescue?"

A large hand brushed through raven locks, and then Marty said, "Because the place was new, I thought they could use me as security on the weekends. I wanted to make some extra cash, but they turned me down."

"I see." She took a drink of the cold beverage, and then stood up. "I'm going to dance to help loosen up my tension from all the studying."

Marty nodded and just watched from where she was sitting.

The strawberry blonde stepped up onto the dance floor as the next song began. Dancing had always been one of her favorite past times. She could spend all night on the floor with the music and the stress would just lift from her automatically.

A couple of songs later, the tall woman was definitely aroused at seeing her friend's hips sway. Each move Bri made had a seductive undertone that made Marty's nether regions twitch.

Out of nowhere a bulky butch sauntered up to Brianna. A few words were exchanged, Bri laughed and then pointed a finger towards Marty. As soon as this butch followed the trail of the finger, she kindly backed down. Within minutes another one walked up and exchanged some words with Bri, who shook her head no. The butch reached out to gently grab Bri's arm, but she avoided the hand pawing at her.

Marty was immediately on the dance floor. She stood behind the short blonde and placed a protective arm around her waist.

Bri smiled at the feel of the muscular arm pulling her in. "Like I said, I'm with someone."

The butch exchanged a challenging look with Marty and walked away.

Bri turned around and saw a flame in those piercing blue eyes. "So, are you going to dance with me?" Bri questioned enthusiastically.

"Um... I guess it would help to keep everyone else away from you."

"Come on then."

The next song had a slower beat and Bri took it as her opportunity to see how Marty would react to her. She grabbed the tall woman by the front of her maroon shirt and pulled her closer. Half straddling one thigh, she slowly rolled her hips back and forth as they swayed in time to the music.

Marty didn't know what to do. The tight reign on her feelings was beginning to slip. She wasn't sure if Bri understood that her actions were causing the tall stoic woman to become weak in the knees. A couple of songs and several beers later the once cool and collected woman was now sweating bullets.

Bri said, "I have to go to the bathroom."

The dark woman nodded. "It's around the other side of the bar down the hall." Marty headed back to the table. She ran a hand through her damp hair. Damn, I'm about to lose some control here. My libido is running way ahead of me. Maybe we should go so I can cool off before I make an ass of myself. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe deeply.

Suddenly, she felt soft lips upon her cheek then along her neck. Blue eyes looked into hazel.

"Hi Baby. I haven't seen you around for some weeks. What have you been up to?"

"Hey Ephiny. I figured it was you. No one else would dare approach me like that." Marty responded.

"How about we go back to your place. I've been missing you badly." The shaggy dishwater blonde said seductively.

"Believe me Eph, if it were any other night, I'd take you up on it. But I'm here with a friend."

"Damn. Alright you have a good night. Give me a call." She bent down for an intimate kiss then walked away.

When Marty looked up, she saw Bri standing there and knew she saw the whole thing. The young woman ran out of the bar.

Seeing the reaction, Marty ran after her. She didn't spot her immediately, so she ran down the street stopping short at the corner. The small woman was sitting at the bus stop bench.

She slowly approached the now crying blonde, and stood there in silence as she dug her hands into her pockets. Finally finding her voice, she started to speak. "Bri? Why... are you crying? I told you I'm a dyke. I'm sorry..."

"I'm not upset that you're a lesbian. It's just.... Never mind." She hid her face in small hands.

Finally the light turned on in Marty's thick head. "Oh shit. Marty, you're a fucking idiot." She said under her breath. She sat on her heels as she knelt on the sidewalk in front of her. Gently she took the young woman's hands away from her face. Using the back of her knuckles, she wiped a few of the stray tears away. "I thought you just wanted to be friends, so... I... willed myself to not pursue anything with you. I fought so hard to not let myself fall for you that I've become blind. I'm sorry I hurt you with the display back there with Ephiny. She's just... um... someone I... hang with on occasion. There's nothing serious between us."

Sad sea green eyes looked into guilty ocean blue.

Bri sniffled. "You fought to not fall for me?"

Marty grabbed the back of her neck now that she's been found out. "Um... uh... yeah." Damn it. I said it.

"I've fallen for you ---- for some time already. I just didn't realize it until Tiffany pointed it out. I've never had feelings for a woman before."

Feeling more confident now, the dark woman said, "I fell for you the first day I laid eyes on you." Marty brushed soft pink lips with her thumb.

Brianna reacted with a sudden intake of breath. "Please...." She closed her eyes. "Kiss me." She said in a whisper.

Marty slowly leaned forward and pressed her lips against the ones before her. Mouths instinctively opened and velvety tongues danced seductively against one another.

A deeply hidden moan erupted from Bri's throat. Small hands gripped the short raven locks at the back of Marty's head. The kiss deepened as their bodies pressed together.

Whistles and catcalls sounded loudly from a couple of guys down the street. The women were lucky out that the trees surrounded them in shadows, which provided enough darkness that no one could tell it was two women locked in the embrace.

"Let's go before they try to come closer." Marty stated.

"Um, I feel drunk. I think I may need some help."

They started walking back towards the club with Marty helping her take each step.

"Bri you've only had two beers in the past couple of hours."

"Yeah, but after the bathroom... I asked Brick to give me something... strong because... I wanted the courage... to confess my liking you." Bri stumbled a bit.

"What did she give you?"

"I don't know... but it was definitely a double... and I think purple looking."

"Aw shit. That must have been her special kamikaze shot." Marty knew that the young woman was going to most likely pass out soon. There wasn't anyone but Brick and herself who could handle that shot. Marty led her to the bike and helped her get the helmet on.

Once they were ready, Brianna could hardly hold herself upright.

Marty climbed on the bike. Damn, she's not going to make it sitting behind me. She'll fall right off. "Bri, you'll need to sit in front and you'll need to do it facing me." She hoisted the blonde up.

Bri straddled a strong lap and wrapped her arms around her waist inside the leather jacket.

"Okay, now if you can just keep your head down then I'll be able to see."

Bri tried to snuggle against the warm chest even though the helmet prevented her face from feeling Marty's breasts.

As they drove along, Marty noticed Bri's grip was slipping. At a stoplight, she put a protective arm around her precious bundle. We're not going to make it to the dorms. Marty made a quick decision to drive to her place because it was much closer.

A few minutes later she parked the bike and carried a semi-conscious Brianna inside. Laying her on the bed, she removed the helmet, shoes, and jacket. She covered the young woman and kissed her lightly on the temple. "Sleep well little one." She headed into the kitchen and set the coffee maker to brew in the morning. Marty stripped off her clothes down to boxers and a tank top and lied on the couch pulling the extra blanket on the back of it over her.

An hour later, she felt a weight on top of her. Opening blue eyes, she looked down at a blonde head peeking out from under the blanket. She chuckled slightly. Getting up with the young woman still attached, she picked her up and took her into the bedroom.

A soft voice complained. "Nooo... wanna sleep... with... you."

"Shhh, it's okay little one. I'll sleep in the bed too." Marty laid her down and climbed in behind her.

Brianna rolled over and perched her head in the crook of Marty's neck as she wrapped her arms around a strong waist.

Marty smiled and pulled the covers up around them.

*************

A green eye popped open then shut quickly. Brianna rolled onto her back covering her face with the pillow. The painful throb in her head had awakened her, so she decided to get up. The room spun for a couple of seconds, and Bri clutched her head to steady herself. Okay, I guess I better do this slower. She said silently. Making it to the bathroom, she did her business, washed her face, and took a swig of mouthwash since she didn't have a toothbrush.

Freshly showered, the dark woman sat at the table sipping coffee and reading the newspaper.

Brianna walked in and sat across from her. "I feel like road kill."

Marty got up quick to pour a second cup of coffee. A huge grin covered her face because she knew how the small woman felt. She sat back down giving her the hot brew.

"Um... do you have any aspirin?"

"I knew you'd be asking." She retrieved the bottle of Excedrin from the counter.

A thick silence filled the kitchen as both women stared into their coffee.

"I can make you some breakfast." Marty offered.

"I think just toast for now. I don't need to be retching here and there."

"Okay."

***********

A few hours later, and after a nice long shower, Brianna began to feel much better. She donned one of Marty's large shirts that she found and enjoyed the faint scent of the men's cologne called Allure that still lingered on it. Walking around the house in search of her friend, she noticed the simplicity in which Marty lived. There was very little furniture in each room, and really only what was necessary. There weren't any paintings or photos or any kind of art to adorn the walls or the bare surfaces. There were no knickknacks, and nothing to give the place a homey feel.

She finally found her in a room filled with books. Handmade bookshelves lined the walls from floor to ceiling. Additional bookshelves littered the floor. They were each about waist high and on wheels.

Marty sat at a well-worn crude wooden desk facing the window. She was browsing through something online.

"Hi." She said as she quietly stepped next to her chair.

The woman turned around. "Hi yourself. I see you're doing better."

Bri noticed the small black wire rimmed glasses adorning her face. "You wear glasses? No ---- please don't take them off."

She looked at her adoringly. "You look so handsome with them."

Marty smiled. Taking her hand, she gently placed a kiss on the knuckles. "You think so, huh? I only wear them for reading."

Bri blushed a bit from the gesture. She returned a squeeze to the large hand and took a look at some of the book titles. "Marty, I think you have every textbook for every class here."

"Actually, I do. I find them in the dumpsters or left in the lockers at the end of the school year."

"Have you read all of these books?" She brushed her fingers across a few spines.

"Yeah." Marty responded in all seriousness.

Sea green eyes looked into ocean blue. "No wonder you know everything. You've read it all without having to take the classes." Suddenly a hungry stomach made itself known with a loud rumble.

"How about we go get you something to eat?" Marty suggested.

With an idea in mind, Bri placed both hands on each armrest, leaned over and with a seductive tone she softly said in an inviting ear, "I was hoping we could just stay in."

Marty gulped audibly with closed eyes. The soft warm breath that just caressed her ear made her stomach flip. "Um... I... could order Chinese."