Mom Named Barbie Ch. 10

Barbara spent the day in sweats curled up on the couch under a blanket; she could not stop the tears from flowing. She hoped she would hear from Jay today, but his text only said he would call, it did not say when. She held her phone in her hand all day, waiting to hear the unique tone indicating her son was calling; but her cell remained silent. She went to the refrigerator trying to remember the ingredients in the tropical drink Jay had mixed for her; she hoped to recreate the tasty cocktail thinking perhaps alcohol would ease the pain she was feeling

Looking at the enormous amount of food leftover from dinner the day before Barbara knew she needed to eat, but she was too much of an emotional wreck to have an appetite. Crying was not helping perhaps she could drown her sorrows. One drink became two, two became three, and three became four until she felt sunshine coming through the window warming her face.

She was not sure what time it was when the alcohol had gotten the best of her and she passed out on the couch. She quickly checked her phone fearing Jay had called or texted while she was asleep; her eyes immediately filled with tears again as she realized he had not tried to contact her.

There was no way she could spend another day in her apartment alone wallowing in self-pity, she showered and dressed deciding to go for a drive with no particular destination in mind. As she was getting dressed she felt disgust with Jay's mom every time she looked in the mirror, all she saw was the monster she believed herself to be. She felt such disdain for Barbara she could not tolerate looking at herself.

She went into the 'whore' room and positioned the auburn wig on her head, she was not trying to become Barbie; Barbie was Jay's fantasy girlfriend and after not hearing from him in over a day and a half the last thing she wanted to do was become Barbie. No, all she wanted to do was be someone else besides the terrible woman that had ruined so many lives with her selfish actions and not being able to control her sexual cravings.

Barbara drove for a few hours then stopped for a cup of coffee at one of the same 24hr chain breakfast restaurants she and Jay had eaten at when it was snowing. She repeated this scenario stopping for coffee three more times, and although it was still early evening she was too far from home to drive back considering she had not eaten and spent most of the last two nights crying; exhausted she took the next exit pulling into a motel.

As she finished checking in and headed toward her room she noticed a bar adjoining the lobby. She remembered a sign at the front desk offering complimentary toiletries for guests who may have forgotten theirs at home; the clerk handed Barbara a toothbrush and toothpaste across the counter along with a sample size container of deodorant, she went to her room and showered.