When my cock finally finished spurting my love juice upon my mother's face, mouth, and tits, Jane looked at me and said, "Not a word of this ever leaves the four of us! Got it?"
Jack and I nodded, smiled and slapped our still oozing cocks between both our mothers tits. Sandy and Jane headed off to the shower, and Jack and I dressed quickly.
None of us have ever spoken of that amazing day, but the thought of it still gets a rise out of my cock, as I'm sure it does his!
What a great day!
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Too short!
There is much more that could have been done with this story. You could have had the participants in a sex party. Instead you made it sound like a quicky with very little action. Maybe more positions with more and better descriptions of the action. It was hot but it should have been hotter. You ended the story too soon. Tags for this story included "orgy". There was no orgy at all.more...
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Hey guys,
I love the feedback. I appreciate the criticism but as some have pointed out this is literotica. I am writing about sexual fantasies, and my style of writing probably will not become the type to expand and develop a several page long novel. I aim to write naughty short stories, exciting readers about the possibilities of highly erotic, taboo, and obscure situations (and therefore these stories probably tend to be more unlikely to some than others). But hey, this is fantasy.
With that said, I actually agree that this story lacked character and plot development to the level I aim to reach. This story was actually the first I ever submitted to literotica, it was rejected but I revisited and resubmitted. I edited the story a lot but I wanted to retain the raw sexual emotion with which I wrote it years ago. That is why it was rejected in the first place, but this is why it was so hot to me in the first place as well.
My stories are similar to others but that just goes to show it is a common fantasy which many of us enjoy.
I welcome all criticisms and praise but I felt like I had to answer those which really are not applying to my goals as a writer, so that they might change a bit.
Oh and about the cock sizes... My neighbors size was exaggerated but other than that the rest were true. I happen to have a rather large cock, hence the name, and I don't see why that is so upsetting for some of you. I have no reason to lie here and i assure you i am not, but even if I didn't have a 9" cock why couldn't I write about it?!more...
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