Monsoon in the Desert

Nat went on to explain the reason she found me attractive. It wasn't just for my good looks, it had everything to do with the conversations we enjoyed and the content of my character.

"I watched you closely, Sam. You made me nervous every time you came in. I prayed you would not turn out like the others that frequent the restaurant and you never did. You treated me with respect and I couldn't help but picture myself in your arms as I saw how you treated Karen. Over time, I began setting my expectations of the men who approached me by what I had observed you doing with Karen."

That revelation was insightful. What struck me at that point even more was the wisdom about communicating sexual desires with your partner. Had Karen and I had more of that, we may have been on a different road. On the other hand, if she did tell me her desire to have a gangbang, our relationship would have been over. Why was I even considering moving forward with Karen at this point, or was I?

Jim and I hung out quite a bit. The work we were doing for our non-profit organization was taking up a good chunk of our time. I appointed Jim to lead the program while I took a back seat. I was working on something that I felt needed my full attention.

I had finally made the decision to find my mother, if she was alive. I hired a private investigator and he began generating leads for me to follow up.

********************

I spent a small fortune on trying to locate my mother. If she was alive, I needed to know. I remembered everything about her and I wanted her in my life. I wanted her to see how successful I had become and to let her know that I love her, regardless of what happened in the past. Most of the leads didn't pan out, until one day I saw her. She was serving food at a homeless shelter. My heart jumped into my throat while I held back the tears that wanted to flow.

She wasn't exactly how I remembered her. She was very thin, with grey streaks in her hair, and clothes that looked as old as I was.

I called my uncle when I finally gained control of my emotions.

"I need your advice, Uncle. Yes sir, I found her. Yes, my mom is alive, working at a homeless shelter. How do I approach her? What do I say? Yes sir...of course. That is a great idea Uncle Don. I will let you know what happens."

I made my way to the office and explained my situation. The elderly gentleman took me to his office and informed me of her history for the past twenty years. It broke my heart to hear her tale.

I was given a hair net and an apron. When I took a position on the line she did not notice me. As I moved from one position to another, I was moving closer to her station. She smiled at me when she did notice me, but she didn't recognize me.

I worked along side of her for the next three hours. She began to fix herself a plate when I asked her if I could join her. A bit cautiously, she accepted.

As I ate with my mom for the first time in the last twenty-four years, I told her it was my first day volunteering. She gave me a strange look. I pressed on.

"I have been told by the director here that you have a genuine passion for helping people."

She became noticeably uncomfortable. I informed her of my reason for being here today. I was to find someone to lead my non-profit organization, she seemed to relax. I think she appreciated what my organization was doing for our veterans. When I told her that I thought I found what I was looking for in her, she became nervous.

"I wouldn't know the first thing about running an organization like that. Why would you want me?"

I had to break my silence at this point and tell her.

"My father would want you to."

I stood up and came to her side. She stood up and looked into my eyes.

"Why would your father want me to?"

The wells of my eyes filled with tears.

"Because he was your husband."

My mom stood before me, shaking, as the color drained from her aging face. She threw her arms around me and cried for at least ten minutes. I cried along with her until we regained our composure.

She started to apologize, which I stopped right away. I told her there was no need for that and that I love her unconditionally.

We talked for the next five hours. As she detailed her life for the past twenty-four years, the story would have made anyone with a pulse cry. I did not need to understand why she never came back for me, but it did open my eyes to the depth of her depression.

She was under the impression the story about my organization was just to be able to talk with her. When I gave her the short story of my life so far, she knew I was offering her a part of my life in hopes she would be a part of mine.

By the end of our conversation, I was handing her a key to my house. I took her to my cell phone carrier and bought a phone so she could contact me. The cover to the phone acted as a wallet. I told her to buy whatever she needed with the credit card inside the case. I created a contact for me, as well as my uncle Don.

I made sure that she understood there would be no burden if she chose to come stay with me. I assured her that working with my program would be very fulfilling.

I dropped her off at the shelter. The discussion we had made me optimistic that I would indeed have my mother back in my life.

I called Nat as soon as I left the shelter. I had told her what I was doing before I left and wanted to share my good news with her. She was ecstatic and peppered me with questions.

After my call with Nat, it occurred to me that Karen had no idea what I was doing and I didn't feel the need to share it with her.

********************

Four months after Karen and I had split up, something changed. I couldn't quite put my finger on it at the time, but I did recognize that Karen had stopped staying overnight. I found it strange that she said she missed her bed, not our bed.

Over the next two months our communication dwindled. Phone calls became scarce, and text messages short, as if she were saying hi to an old friend. I raised my concerns only to be shut down when Karen said I was acting paranoid. I think I was just pointing out the obvious, we were done.

I had gone on with my life during our time apart. My time at my favorite restaurant increased as I ate alone most nights. I had Nat to keep me company many nights and we became very close, she just didn't eat with me while she worked.

A greeting with a kiss on her lips became customary, as did the playful smacking of my hands when they drifted a little too low when we embraced.

Karen and I had made a date a month ago to celebrate the end of our six months. She was supposed to bring the all clear from her doctor. I had already done mine and I breathed a sigh of relief, showing I was all clear. The truth is, I really didn't want her back.

It was Tuesday, July 5th. The storm rolled in and blackened the sky. The Great Haboob slammed in to Phoenix. Some of the pictures I had taken would be featured in my "Monsoon in the Desert" calendar.

When Karen didn't show up, I called her. It went straight to voicemail and my texts were left unanswered. Curiosity set in and I checked her Facebook page.

The GPS showed where she was as I checked the time. Sure as hell, the words were imprinted on my brain, "You all come back again sometime. I'm here at the same time every week."

I won't say that I was surprised, maybe just a little disappointed. My feelings for Karen had not been the same since the incident. In the beginning I had hoped we could get back to the way things were. In the back of my mind, I knew we couldn't as the trust I had once afforded her, would never be the same.

One might think I would miss her. I don't, not even a little bit. I had waited a month before I had an STD test performed. I retested at six months and I must say, it was the longest sexless six months of my life. Wondering if, or when, I would get an STD, or worse, was not how I was going to live my life.

Karen was one of the best things that ever happened to me. She just wanted more than I could give her. Putting our lives on the line was just too much for me.

A couple of hours had passed before she responded to my text. "The storm delayed me," she said.

I replied, "Oh, I thought it was the cock in your ass."

No response ever came. I'm quite sure Karen knew we were done. We had many conversations regarding fidelity after our fiasco. Was she really planning on being intimate me after spending the afternoon at the adult shop? The unscrupulous bitch had not learned or perhaps didn't care. I was not expecting her to show up anyway, but I did feel the need to live up to my side of our bargain.

As the storm died down, it left a brown haze lingering in the air. I dressed up a bit, sporting a deep blue suit and tie. I was hungry, but food wasn't on my mind.

Walking into the bar, I felt good, confident even. Nat greeted me in her usual fashion, but I took the opportunity to slip her my tongue. She responded in kind while her workers started clapping, hooting, and hollering.

I asked Nat if we could get an order to go. "Definitely," she replied. Less than an hour later we were back at my house, enjoying another outstanding meal together. This time Nat would be eating with me over a couple of bottles of wine.

What happened that night was magical. I know what many people think about starting a relationship on the rebound, but honestly I didn't feel like I was on the rebound. My relationship with Karen had been over for six months.

Karen never said a word as she disappeared from my life. She had moved out of my house without a forwarding address a few days later.

A couple of months later, someone told me she had been arrested when the adult shop was raided. I wouldn't doubt the charges but it was none of my business.

I'm sure you are wondering what happened between Nat and I. That story will be told after I publish my next calendar, Butterflies in the Spring.