More Porn Reviews

In this installment, I'll be reviewing two films on VHS and the dancing skills of an exotic performer. First, the films:

Fetish Fanatics #33: Girls Who Fuck Double Dongs (from Fetish Fanatics): This film is a hodgepodge of five clips from the following films: Mila's Vegas Fucking Madness, Love Bunnies #9, Only In Your Fucking Dream, Dirty Video Magazine 5, and Promise 'Em Anything.

This film is a major disappointment. The title is certainly fun, and the box pictures looked hot, but you can't judge porn by its cover. The first scene had great potential, with a bleached blond and a brunette 69'ing on a pool table, but it's a let-down. The blond has a squirting orgasm and then says she'll have the next one all over the brunette's face - but doesn't! You can't just make a statement like that and not pay off!

The second scene, between a Latina and a petite Chinese girl, has a little more heat, but ends with the Chinese girl squirting white wine out of her pussy, which I didn't find appealing. The third scene is an even bigger let-down than the first. We have the bleached blond from Scene 1 fooling around with a cute redhead and a pretty black girl. The redhead gets eaten to two orgasms (one from each woman), but the scene ends with the blond crawling away saying, "I'm going to get my big dick." and never coming back!

The fourth scene has a hot Asian woman (probably Thai) fucking herself with a double dong on a couch while watching a Latina get screwed by Joey Silvera - who nowadays looks like Bozo the Clown turned into a mad scientist. The Latina has a good time fucking him (especially in the side- winder position), but he just looks puzzled most of the time. Both women get some anal action, and there's a nice facial at the end, but this whole scene is pretty run-of-the-mill. I threw this movie away.

Zazel: The Scent of Love (from Cal Vista) - Starring: Sasha Vinni, Grace Harlow, Lene Hefner, Devin, Anna Romeo, Kevin James, Drew Reese, Antonio Valentino, Brooke Lane, Helena, Gina LaMarca, Jon, and Nikie St. Gilles. This film is chock-full of beautiful women. All but Lene Hefner are listed as an "international model" or "centerfold model". Lene is listed as an "adult superstar", and rightly so. It won the following at the 1997 AVN Awards: Best All-Sex Film, Best Art Direction - Film, Best Cinematography, Best Editing - Film, Best Group Sex Scene - Film, Best Overall Marketing Campaign, and Best-Selling Tape of the Year.

The "story" revolves around Zazel, played by the pouty brunette, Sasha Vinni. Zazel is some sort of artist who is commissioned to create a perfume that embodies "the scent of love". The process of creating a perfume, apparently, involves walking around naked in your luxurious garden, smelling the flowers there, speaking in poorly written New Age monologues, and dreaming up all sorts of lurid fantasies.

The first scene, entitled "Blue Siren", has Sasha imagining herself as the embodiment of Shiva rising up out of a pool. Grace Harlow is the "Water Nymph", who actually looks more like she stepped out of some jungle girl comic of the 1940's. She fucks herself on a big flat rock while Sasha dances around in the water, but finally gives Grace some tongue action (and what a great long tongue too!). The scene cuts away too early though, just as Grace is getting off (and looking very hot) by herself.

"Bird of Paradise" follows, in which Sasha shaves Lene's pussy and goes down on her, but in comes Devin, who needs a haircut, to tattoo an orchid on Lene's crotch. He then licks her up with his pierced tongue and fucks Lene while Sasha and her pierced labia are mounted over her. Sasha makes a lot of unnecessary pouts, gets in the way, and tries too hard to be sexy in this scene. If you want a good chuckle, listen to the awful New Age singing in the background. There's some fun hair pulling while Lene is fucked doggie style (and finger fucked in the ass); and she, for the most part, swallows!

We are then treated to a close-up of a woman riding a guy cowgirl-style. This woman has a tiger's face painted on her behind. I found it more humorous than exciting, unlike the next scene, entitled "Three Musketeers". Sasha, Brooke Lane, and Anna Romeo (who may be my new favorite porn star) are dressed up like they just stepped off the cover of Adam and the Ants' Prince Charming album. The unique thing about this scene is that the three women each strap a dildo onto one of their heels. This is a hot scene, with lots of cunnilingus, weird dildo play, and a hot close-up of Anna and Sasha French kissing. However, poor Brooke Lane seems in the way for most of the scene, while Sasha and Anna are really into each other.

Next up is a scene called "Angels", which is oddly shot in red tones, so I guess the director (Phillip Mond) was going for some "fallen angel" angle. This scene has an angel, Antonio Valentino, standing against a wall while Sasha, Brooke, and Helena writhe all over him. Some of the close-up scenes are actually done by Anna Romeo and Kevin James, so I'm wondering if Mr. Valentino is a raging queen. Anna does a nice reverse cowgirl anal, but apart from that, this scene drags on for too long.

The film makes up for it with, "Old B&W Movie". The intensely hot Gina LaMarca does a smoldering dance for lucky Jon. She teases him (and the viewer) almost to the point of madness. At one point, he goes down on her, only to be pushed away so she can fuck his toes. One hot shot is both of them licking at one of her nipples. Gina loves the cowgirl position, and Jon holds onto her for dear life while she goes wild atop him. There's also some doggie style hair pulling and tit fucking, but the scene nonsensically ends with both of them jumping into a pool and hugging.

We are quickly shown bizarre footage of a woman (possibly Sasha) in a blond Mohawk wig and sequined clothespins on her nipples tit fucking a perfume bottle. I'm not kidding. Luckily, this ends and we are treated to "Water Odyssey". Sasha dresses up like a mermaid and plays around with Nikie St. Giles in a pool. Both women roll around a star-shaped Styrofoam raft that looks like it could topple at any moment. This scene has lots of good nuzzling and muff munching, but perhaps a little too much.

Finally, we see "Diablo D'Inferno", which won the Best Group Sex Scene in Film for 1997. Sasha is at her drawing table and is doing an airbrush painting of a woman in a fetish latex devil outfit. Suddenly, we see Anna Romeo in this outfit, complete with tail up her ass and horns so big she looks like Tim Curry in Legend. She sneaks up behind Sasha and decapitates her! She then fucks Sasha's disembodied head on the table. Oh wait! It was all a dream! Sasha still fantasies about Anna though, who we now see in some dungeon-like room, having a good time with herself and that tail shoved up her ass. She brings a statue of Kevin James to life and the next thing we know, he's ass fucking her.

After spurting all over her belly, Drew Reese appears from nowhere and she gladly sucks his cock to life. A nice gangbang follows, although Kevin James looks a little bored until he's reverse cowgirl fucking her up the ass - which, I suppose, would snap anyone out of boredom. Soon, we've got double penetration, with Drew Reese finally getting some anal action. He unleashes a big load on Anna's face, but goes back for seconds in her puss while Kevin James slaps her soaked face with his dick. Reese sprays another load all over her back and we're back to Sasha sniffing flowers and reciting bad poetry.

Zazel is a good film, but some of the scenes are a little drawn out. It is beautifully shot, and was a good choice for Best Cinematography. The colors alone are splendid, and the women are all stunning.

Finally, I'd like to throw in a review of exotic dancer Jada Deville. I saw Ms. Deville at a bachelor party about two months ago. She is a shapely blond with 36DDD-24-36 measurements. She won Miss Exotic Great Lakes 2001 and was also voted Best Dancer there. She is a former Miss Exotic USA and Miss Best Breasts Savana. She also once won the Southern USA Exotic Talent Search. She was in Forces of Nature with Sandra Bullock somewhere, but I've never seen the film. She's also been on the Playboy Channel's Sexeteria and The Jerry Springer Show (but what stripper hasn't?), and appeared in Leg Tease, Cheri, Gallery, Swank, Hustler, Exotic Dancer, Vivid, and Excitement.

She is a very lively dancer, and enjoys working the crowd, but I couldn't help but think she was a bit average for someone with such credentials. She is very pretty, and her breasts are sights to behold, but her best asset is her smile - in my opinion.

I saw her do two numbers. For the first, her manager/sugar daddy brought out a big sheet of plastic, a small inflatable pool, two sleeves of Oreos, and two half gallons of milk. She was soon sitting in a pool of milk and dipping Oreos for people. The lesbian seated across from me was going ape shit over this. Ms. Deville was kind enough to let me take an Oreo from her teeth with my teeth (for a $5 contribution) and later smoosh her Oreo covered breasts around my head, making me look like a raccoon.

Her second number involved her painting a makeshift American flag on her tits and pressing them into T-shirts, which she then sold for 20 dollars, which I thought was a bit steep. So, if you see her name on the marquis of your favorite strip club, go for the Oreos, but stay away from the T-shirts.