More Than Friends

I went into the other bedroom where I had my computer, powered it up, and just stared blankly at the screen. I pulled up one of my favorite websites and sat there playing games until late in the afternoon. I fixed myself some lunch around 2:00, went into the living room and turned on the TV. I wasn't really interested in what was on, I just wanted the noise in the background. I headed back to my computer and checked my email. Michael had been trying to email me all day as well as call. I deleted his emails without opening them, shut down my computer, went back to my room and fell asleep across the bed again.

I was awakened again a few hours later to a knock on my door. I walked out to look in the peep hole to see who it was. Of course, it was Michael. I just stood there staring at the door, refusing to let him in. I didn't say a word as he kept knocking.

"Reese! I know you're there, I saw your car outside. Can we talk about this, please?" he said through the door, still knocking. After a long pause, I finally spoke.

"There's nothing to talk about, Michael. I think you should go home."

"We need to talk about what happened between us last night. Will you open the door?"

"NO! I said there's nothing to talk about. What I did was wrong, it never should have happened. Please just go home and leave me alone." I wanted exactly the opposite but my emotions were on overload and I needed time to think.

I heard no response from him so I looked through the peep hole again. He was gone. I went to the kitchen, fixed myself dinner, grabbed the remote for the TV and flipped through the channels until I found something I wanted to watch. When I finished my dinner, I popped in a movie and fell asleep on the couch.

I got up the next morning, took a shower and got ready to go to work. I went into the kitchen to make myself some coffee and I noticed there were three new messages on my answering machine. I pushed the play button and listened.

"Reese, listen to me. We need to talk about this. I care way too much about you to leave things like this. I hope you'll be at work tomorrow, I want to see you. Please, let's talk," Michael's voice said, there was a long pause, then a beep.

The next message was also Michael, "I really hope you're all right. See you at work tomorrow," and another long pause before the end beep. The third message was a hang-up, but I'm guessing it was Michael also.

I fixed myself a bagel, poured a cup of coffee, sat down at the table and wondered just exactly how I would handle the situation with Michael. As I sipped my coffee slowly and picked at my bagel, I couldn't help but think about that kiss and how good his lips felt against mine. I wanted him so badly, I just didn't know what to do.

I finished my coffee, cleaned up the dishes from the table, filled my travel mug with the rest of the coffee from the pot and headed out the door. My thoughts drifted back to Monday night and that soft slow kiss with Michael.

As I walked into the main lobby from the parking level, I was greeted by the receptionist. "G'morning, Reese. Getting an early start today, huh?"

"G'morning, Barb. Yeah, I want to make up for missing yesterday," I told her as I headed toward the elevators. The elevator ride to the eighth floor seemed to take longer than usual, it was probably just my anxiety.

I got to my cubicle and noticed something laying on my desk. As I got closer, I saw it was a single long stemmed yellow rose with a card attached to it. The card read: We need to talk. M.

I powered up my computer, grabbed the stacks of invoices from my desk and headed into the copy room. I heard Michael's voice behind me as I worked on making my copies for the day.

"G'morning, Reese. It's good to see you. Hope you're feeling better."

"I am. Thank you for the rose, Michael, I want -- " I turned to face him but he was gone.

I finished up what I needed to do in the copy room, went to the break room to find something to put the rose in and headed back to my desk. Michael was already working when I approached. He wasn't wearing a suit today, but rather black slacks and a dark gray sweater. Just seeing him made my heart race again. I was glad he was here early so we could talk before our other co-workers arrived.

"Thank you for the rose, Michael," I repeated as I set everything down on my desk. "I want to clear the air between us before everyone starts arriving. I'm sorry I kissed you the other night."

"Stop apologizing, Reese. I understand why you're upset. I promise I'm not angry with you and we're still friends." The smile he gave me made my heart melt, but I kept myself in control.

"Thank you, Michael. I'm glad we can get past this. I know kissing you was wrong. You came to me because you needed a shoulder to cry on and I threw myself at you."

"We were sitting close, we were talking like we never had before, we just got caught up in the moment. Actually, I rather enjoyed it."

"You're not angry with me?"

"I could never be angry with you, Reese."

"I'm so embarrassed about this whole thing, Michael. Can we just put it behind us?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes. I just want to forget that it happened," I said, knowing I could never forget how his lips felt on mine.

"Consider it forgotten," he replied, giving me another warm smile.

We worked silently through most of the morning. When the lunch bell rang, I grabbed my purse and headed toward the elevator. While I was waiting for the elevator, Veronica asked where Michael and I were going for lunch. I told her I was eating lunch at the new café on the sixth floor today, alone. Michael was in the break room and he called out to me, but I didn't respond. I got in the elevator and saw Michael walking toward me as the doors closed.

Today was the first day since Michael started working here that I've eaten lunch alone. I headed down to the café and found a table in the corner. I ordered a cheeseburger, fries and a Diet Coke. I was about halfway done with my cheeseburger when I saw Michael walking in. He saw me then walked toward me.

"I ran into Veronica and she said you came down here for lunch today," he said, sitting down in the chair opposite me. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I didn't think you wanted to have lunch with me today."

"Why would you think that? We've had lunch together everyday since I started working here."

"I know I said I wanted to put the other night behind us Michael, but I just can't. I don't want to get in the way of you clearing things up with Sandy -- " I trailed off.

"I told you the other night that I don't want to clear things up with her. We're through."

"That's what makes it so difficult to see you every day now, Michael." I turned my gaze away from him, looking everywhere but into his eyes.

"Huh?"

"When you were with Sandy, I never had to worry about embarrassing myself. Now that I know things are over with Sandy and you're available, it makes it difficult for me to be around you."

"Reese, I don't know what to say -- "

"I care about you a lot, Michael. Way more than I should."

"I care about you too, Reese. You're my best friend," he said, taking my hand.

"Michael, I ---- " I started, but couldn't get the words past my lips.

"You're shaking like a leaf, Reese. What's wrong?"

"I have to go."

"Where are you going?" he asked, grabbing my wrist gently.

"I've got a lot of work to catch up on Michael. I'll see you later," I said as I pulled my wrist away from him. I put some money on the table for my food then raced out of the café.

I headed back to my cubicle and buried myself in work for the rest of the day. Michael was busy for most of the day with other things that our boss wanted him to do, so I didn't get to see him until quitting time. We rode the elevator down to the parking level, not saying a word.

"See you tomorrow," he said.

"Bye," I said quietly as I got into my car.

I didn't see Michael all day on Thursday, not even at quitting time. I knew he was working though, his leather jacket was hanging on the coat rack just outside our cubicle where it always was. At quitting time, I cleaned up our desks, turned off the computers and headed home.

Things really had changed between us since Monday. I barely spoke to Michael, even when he was at his desk. Friday, he was back in the cubicle with me. He would glance up from time-to-time, a sad look on his face. Veronica came over right near quitting time and invited me out to a new dance club in the area with some of the girls from the office tonight.

"It's gonna be fun, Reese. You should come!"

"I don't know, Veronica. I'm just not into the whole dance club thing." I glanced over at Michael who I could tell was pretending not to be listening.

"You gotta come! There's tons of hot guys there!"

"What time?" I asked.

"Eight o'clock," she replied.

"Okay. I won't make any promises, but I will try," I said, smiling softly and glancing over at Michael again. She wrote down the address of the place and said good-bye as she headed for the elevator.

"You gonna go?" Michael asked, not looking up from his computer.

"I don't know. You think I should?"

"Sounds like it'll be fun."

"Wanna come with me?"

"No. I've got other plans. Have fun tonight. You deserve it, Reese." Our eyes locked for a few seconds before we both looked away and resumed working.

Michael and I both cleaned up our desks today, he took our coffee cups into the break room to clean them out and I held the elevator for him. We rode down in silence again and he walked me to my car. He told me again to have fun, softly kissed my cheek then turned and walked to his car.

I got home and immediately started rifling through my closet to find something to wear. My cell phone rang but I didn't get to it in time. I pulled it out of my purse, dialed voice mail and listened to the message.

"Hey Reese, it's Veronica. I realized I didn't tell you that dress is casual for tonight. It's not an upscale or fancy place, so just wear something comfortable. Oh and wear comfortable shoes 'cause we intend on keeping your butt on the dance floor most of the night! See ya later!" I deleted the message and went back to choosing an outfit.

I finally settled on wearing a pair of black slacks and an emerald green blouse. It was comfortable and I could wear flats so my feet would be comfortable too. I fixed myself dinner then called Michael to ask him again if he wanted to go, but I got his voice mail. I left him a message telling him where the place is at if he changes his mind, closed my phone and headed out the door.

The dance club was dark, noisy and smoky. I saw Veronica and the other girls waving to me from the other side of the dance floor so I headed toward them, stopping to order a drink at the bar on the way. I played it safe and ordered a Diet Coke since I was driving and probably wouldn't be there that long anyway. I didn't drink alcohol that often, mostly during special occasions or holidays, so even one or two drinks would have made me tipsy.

I found an empty seat next to Veronica, removed my coat and sat down. The music had stopped for a few minutes, so we were able to talk in a normal tone of voice.

"Glad you made it, Reese!" she said, leaning over to hug me.

"I probably won't stay long."

"Yeah you will. You're gonna have so much fun, you won't wanna leave. Where's Michael? Didn't he come with you?"

"No. I invited him, but he said he had other plans," I told her. "It's probably best because we're not getting along all that great anyway."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's a long story."

The music started again and I looked at her, smiling. "I didn't come here to sit, let's go dance!" I forced myself to change my mood. I was determined to have a good time, despite how depressed I really was. Michael was right, I deserve to have some fun.

Two hours had passed and I think I only sat down once. Veronica was ordering drink after drink for all of us, insisting on paying for everyone. We took breaks from dancing long enough to walk to the table and sip our drinks, then headed back out to the dance floor. I sat down for about 20 minutes, just to catch my breath and the waitress brought over another round of drinks. I switched from Diet Coke to Bacardi and Diet Coke with an occasional shot of tequila when the rest of the girls took a break from dancing.

When I stood up, I lost my footing and fell right into the arms of a guy walking by. He just smiled at me, holding on to me while I got my balance. He didn't seem to mind that I fell right into his arms.

"Wanna dance?" he shouted.

"Sure!" I answered as I grabbed his shoulder, trying to get my footing back. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor where we danced for the next four songs. A slower song started playing and as I turned to walk back to the table, he took my hand and pulled me into him.

"What's your name?" he finally asked as he held me close.

"Reese. And you?" I replied.

"Glen. Nice to meet you, Reese." He pulled me in closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I felt his hands on my waist, slowly caressing up and down.

I briefly pulled away from him, he looked down at me, put his hands on my cheeks and pulled me in for a kiss. I tangled my fingers through his hair, pulled him closer to me and plunged my tongue into his mouth. We kissed while our bodies swayed to the music. A flood of guilt ran through me and I pulled away from him.

"I'm sorry, Glen, I can't do this," I said.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm in love with someone else, I shouldn't be here with you right now." There was a slight slur in my words, the tequila and Bacardi were definitely beginning to effect me.

"I'm sorry, too, Reese. You just look so beautiful, I seized the moment," he said, caressing my cheek. "Can you forgive me?"

"Of course I can, let's just finish our dance." I gave him a small smile before I rested my head on his shoulder while our bodies moved in harmony with the music.

I glanced over at the bar while Glen and I danced. I saw a guy who I thought looked like Michael sitting there, looking out over the dance floor. He made eye contact with me, turned away, got up and moved to a spot at the opposite end of the bar, just out of eye sight. I felt so guilty for kissing Glen, I hope that wasn't Michael I saw sitting at the bar.

Michael has said more than once that we're nothing more than friends, so why was I feeling so guilty? He told me to have fun tonight. Despite everything, all my thoughts were of Michael and I couldn't help but wish it were him here holding me like this.

I told Glen I was tired and wanted to sit the next song out. He took my hand, led me back to the table, sat down next to me and flagged down a waitress. I looked all around for the guy that looked like Michael. I thought briefly that maybe he'd decided to come after all. I had to know if it was him or just my imagination playing tricks.

"Glen, I thought I saw a friend up at the bar. Do you mind if I go look?" I asked slowly, trying to keep my words from slurring.

"Sure. If I'm not here when you get back, just look for me on the dance floor." He gave me a broad smile then kissed my cheek.

"'K-see-ya-later," I slurred, not looking at him as I walked quickly but unsteadily toward the bar.

I tripped over my own feet a few times as I approached the bar and realized I was way beyond tipsy. My head was spinning and I had trouble walking straight. I headed over to the other side of the bar where I saw the guy who looked like Michael earlier. As I rounded the corner of the bar I saw him. It was Michael. He didn't see me approaching at first, then glanced over and noticed I wasn't walking straight. He got up and helped me to the stool beside him and I tripped right into his arms.

"What're-you-doin'-here?" I asked, my words slurring together while I steadied myself and sat down on the stool next to Michael.

"I got your message and thought I'd check things out. How much have you had to drink?"

"I dunno. Ask Veronica how much money she's got, then I can tell ya how much I drank." I brought my hand up to my mouth to stifle a giggle as Michael looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"Reese, this isn't like you. How are you getting home?"

"Um -- my car, silly!" I told him, slapping his arm softly.

"I don't think so!" he said. "You're in no condition to drive. You can barely walk."

"What're-you-my-father?" I asked, annoyed.

"No, but I am your friend and I don't want you to get hurt or hurt someone else." He held out his hand and helped me to my feet. "Where are you sitting?"

"Over-dare-somewhere," I said, pointing in all directions and stumbling into other people at the bar. "Sorry." I added as I bumped into people. Michael put his arm around me to steady me and we walked over to the table where Veronica and the other girls were now sitting, resting for a few minutes before heading back out to the floor. Glen had joined them and he was sitting really close to Veronica.

"Look who made it!" I put my arm around Michael and nearly knocked him off his feet.

"Nice to see you, Mike," Glen said cooly.

"You two know each other?" I asked, looking surprised.

"Yeah," Michael replied. "We went to school together."

"Not really your cuppa tea, Mike, whatcha doin' here?" Glen asked.

"Just came to check things out, Glen. Reese invited me earlier today," he said, still trying to hold me up. "We work together." He watched Glen and Veronica share a deep slow kiss. "Makin' the rounds tonight, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talkin' about, Mike," Glen said.

"You and Reese were goin' at it pretty heavy on the dance floor just a few minutes ago, now you're all over Veronica. What's the matter, isn't Reese good enough for you?" There was an angry tone in his voice and he clenched his fists at his sides.

"First off, buddy, it ain't none of your damn business who I kiss or when," Glen started as he got to his feet and walked over to Michael. "Second, Reese is -- "

"She's what? Not beautiful enough for you? Reese deserves way better than a guy like you in her life, Glen."

"What kind of guy does she deserve, Mikey? You?" he asked.

"No, I didn't say that -- she --- we -- " Michael stammered, breaking eye contact with Glen and looking at me again.

"Spit it out, Mike," he said.

"She has more love in her heart than you could possibly imagine. She's the most caring, considerate, passionate woman I know. She deserves a man who will treat her like a queen. For you to just -- " he trailed off, I interrupted him this time. My heart was beating so loud, I worried everyone could hear it over the music.

"Michael, Michael, calm down," I said as best I could and I put myself between him and Glen who were now standing face to face. "I told him I had too much to drink and didn't want to start something I couldn't finish. He apologized, everything's fine." I could still feel my heart beat a thousand miles a minute at what Michael had just said about me.

"If you two are gonna fight, take it outside," Veronica said. "Otherwise, Glen needs to bring his hot bod back over here."

"If you're cool with this, then so am I," he said, looking at me with sadness in his eyes. "Sorry Glen.".

"No problem. We're straight," Glen said, walking back to his seat. "He's got it bad for her huh?" I heard him say as he sat back down next to Veronica. She just nodded. She leaned over and whispered something to Glen. I figured she told him that I had it pretty bad for Michael too, they both just smiled at me. I glanced over at Michael, but he didn't seem to have heard them.

I turned back to the table and slurred, "Someone-move-so-I-kin-sid-down!"

Veronica slid over closer to Glen and I sat down next to her, grabbing what was left of my drink and slamming it down. Michael grabbed a chair from another table and sat down next to me. Veronica pulled me out to the dance floor for the next few songs and I watched Michael just sitting there, looking blankly down at his feet.