Moving Out

"Hey, Tom, could you get me a coke while you're in there?"

He nodded, grabbing them from the garage. He filled two drinking glasses with ice and poured the soda in, the ice cracking and popping. Another he filled with water. Grandma didn't drink coke herself.

He brought them out to the deck and set them out on the table.

"Thanks," said Aric.

"So you've decided to move out?" asked Grandma.

"Decided?" said Aric, laughing. "Your son is practically throwing me out. He says I'm getting too old to be there."

"Nonsense. Your father wasn't out of our house when he was your age."

"He says that's because he was in college. I only have a job."

The breeze blew, barely cooler than the summer air, sending slippery elm seed skittering across the deck. The lake was still, though, shimmering in the sunlight. Tom sat and listened, watched, interested but not sure how to contribute to the conversation.

"You're still working at the dealership then?" Grandma asked, taking a sip of water.

"Yeah, it's good work and good pay. I'll be able to afford everything, and it might be nice to be out on my own for a change."

"I hope so. How far away is the place?"

"About fifteen minutes east of here. I'll be moved in by the end of the week. You should come visit."

"I might do that if I can get a certain handsome young man to pick me up." She chuckled.

"Anytime, Grandma. So what are you going to do, Tom? You're heading off to college, right?"

Tom nodded.

"That's cool, man. What are you going to study?"

"I'm going in as undecided," Tom mumbled. Or at least, to them he mumbled. He could hear what he said fine.

Aric turned and looked out toward the lake. It was the right angle where the sun made a golden haze around his brown hair and sparkled off his blue eyes. His nose made a distinct profile, hooking sharply down halfway down its length. "It's a good day to go out rowing on the lake. Grandma, do you want to come with us?"

Tom looked bewildered.

"No," she laughed, "I'm too old to get in and out of that thing. I've got dishes to do and laundry to wash anyways. You two go on out. I need a little air conditioning too."

Aric motioned to Tom and he got up, not remembering having agreed to go in the boat. They got the anchor and rope out of the garage and walked down to the little shed by the lake that housed the boat. Its old, blotchy metal body shone like fire in the sun, blinding Tom's eyes. And he was weak. It was everything he could do to help Aric carry the boat down to the shore and flip it over. Aric got into the water up to his knees, the threads of his cutoff shorts falling into the water, and Tom pushed the boat out to him. They hopped in, and Aric rowed the boat out to the middle of the lake. Tom stared back to their grandmother's house on the hill.

"What's up with you, Tom? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He still stared off into the distance.

"It's a gorgeous day," said Aric. "Perfect for a swim."

Tom stared back at him in shock. "We don't have bathing suits."

Aric laughed. "It's just you and me. What's the problem?" He threw the anchor over the side of the boat.

"What about Grandma?"

Aric was already taking off his shirt. "What, you think she never went skinny dipping in her day?"

Aric was a solid man. His chest was soft with fat, but still had the beautiful curve that came to mind with the word "pec," and his stomach didn't protrude out too far. His smooth torso made quite a figure with his cutoff shorts, and when he undid his button and slid off the shorts, his semi-erect cock completed the figure of a handsome, modern man. Tom watched him stand up, saw his brief silhouette stand poised at the side of the boat, before he dove into the water.

He surfaced, shaking his head. "Man, that's nice." He swam to the side of the boat and leaned on it, next to Tom. Tom could see his butt and kicking legs through the water. "Now, you can get undressed and get in here, or I'll pull you in and you'll get your clothes all wet."

Tom looked horrified. He could feel his cock straining against his pants. It would be humiliating. Unconsciously, his eyes flicked to his crotch, and he sighed.

Aric laughed. "Tom, you've got a hard-on. Men get hard-ons. Relax, it's not as if I haven't seen one before."

Tom looked at him, an eyebrow raised.

Aric grinned. "My own, you pervert. Come on, take them off. The water is beautiful."

Tom took a deep breath and started undressing. He pulled off his shirt, and the warmth of the sun and the brush of the air felt beautiful on his chest. He did his best to take his pants off without thinking about it, and his cock pulsed painfully at its new freedom. Sitting there, he realized he was naked on a boat on the lake where anyone could see, and decided it would be best to be in the water.

He shifted his legs over the side and dipped his feet into the water. It was cool, cold. Before he could hesitate any longer, Aric reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him in. The water enveloped him, and aroused as he was he felt the water claim every inch of his skin, flowing around his loins and between his buttcheeks. He had dreamed often of skinny-dipping, but only dreamed.

Aric swam out a ways, bobbing up and down in the water. "See, it feels good, doesn't it?"

Tom didn't answer. He hung on to the boat and floated there, getting used to the sensation of being naked in the delicious lake. The ripples in the water lapped against his chest. He let himself float away, making half-swimming motions and looked around. The sun turned the grass and trees a hazy yellow-green, and the sky was brilliant blue.

Aric swam over to him. "Man, I wish I could do this every day. Have you never been skinny dipping before?"

Tom shook his head.

"It's much better than having a bathing suit on, isn't it?"

He admitted it was, turning to face Aric. He felt his face grow hot. Aric was a handsome man, with a strong chin. He let his eyes drift over the curve of Aric's shoulders, his chest floating beneath the rippling water. Then he quickly turned to look back towards the boat. He shouldn't have been staring.

"Hey," said Aric, "come this way." He swam off, and Tom followed. A knoll protruded out into the water, so that the shape of the pond resembled a pie with a slice taken out of it. Aric led Tom to the opposite side of the knoll, the one that faced the sun and the sloping hills and the distant forest. A large boulder laid in the shallows.

As they drew closer, Tom found he needed to crouch down to keep his body under the water, but Aric didn't seem to care. He walked toward the boulder, his body growing up out of the water, droplets falling off his shoulders, his arms, his ass, his legs. He turned around and laid on the boulder, shaking the hair out of his eyes.

Tom turned his head away.

"Come on," Aric called. "There's room for you up here."

Tom shook his head, wanting to sink under the water and drift away. His cock was growing hard again.

"Tom, what's wrong?"

Tom clenched his jaw for a moment. "You're naked!"

"Yeah, so are you!"

He stood there, feeling the muck between his toes. He was growing cold again, and wanted to go back to the boat. He took a deep breath and turned to tell Aric, but Aric was back in the water, walking over to him. Where he was, the water was just more than waist-deep, and he could see Aric's penis just under the surface.

He looked away, and then he felt Aric's hand on his cheek. He yielded to the pressure and stood up, looking Aric in the eyes. There was emotion in the eyes, something Tom didn't understand or expect.

"Tom," Aric whispered.

Tom started toward the boat but Aric grabbed his arm and turned him around. He clasped Tom's face in his hands and kissed him.

Tom pushed him away. "Aric, what are you doing? Someone will see us!"

"I don't care if anyone sees us." He reached out to take Tom's hand, but Tom pulled away.

"No Aric, this is wrong, this is very wrong. I'm not gay."

Aric laughed. "Of course you are. I've seen the way you look at men. Why won't you look at me, Tom? I was sunbathing for you."

"Stop that!" He wanted nothing more than to get away, to go back to the house, to pretend this never happened. But he couldn't.

Aric sighed. "Let's get back to the boat."

"We've got no towels."

"I'll row the boat over here and we can let the sun dry us off where we'll be hidden." Without another word, he slid back into the water and swam to the boat. Tom watched him, his smooth back and butt shimmering under the surface. It was all wrong. God, why did everything have to be so wrong?

Aric paddled the boat over behind the knoll where it would be hidden from the house. By that time a few clouds drifted across the sky, and one fell across the sun. The air grew cold.

Aric threw down the anchor and helped Tom back into the boat. Water poured off his naked body, pooling under their seats. Aric lay back and looked off into the distance, while Tom sat with his eyes focused on his feet.

"Tom, I love you."

Tom didn't answer at first, he just stared at his hands resting on his knees. There were so many things he wanted to say, but none would come to his lips.

"Tom, look at me."

He looked, and Aric sat up, leaning forward so that he could reach out and touch Tom's hand. Tom let him do it.

"Aric, you're my brother."

"What does that matter?"

"It's wrong! It's so wrong! It's incest, it's disgusting. There are a million ways it's wrong. God, didn't you ever pay attention in church?"

Aric squeezed Tom's hand and leaned into him. Tom felt paralyzed, felt himself quivering as Aric's lips came to meet his. He held back, let his own lips fall dead, let his hand grow slack in Aric's.

Aric sat back in his seat, withdrew his hand and stared at Tom. "But does it feel wrong to you, brother?"

When they had dried off, they put their clothes back on and rowed back to shore, hoisting the boat back up to its shed. They went in and kissed their grandmother goodbye and drove home in silence. They slept in separated rooms, and as Tom lay alone in his, he wished desperately that sleep would come and wash away everything that had happened that day.

***

A week passed, and nothing had changed. Everything had changed. Aric moved out on Saturday, but until then Tom saw his every move. He watched the muscles in his butt shift as he walked around the house, he watched the muscles in his arm ripple when he reached for a glass out of the cabinet. He saw the way Aric's t-shirts outlined his pecs, the way his nipples sometimes showed under the fabric. He saw the soft curve of his lips and the intent stare of his eyes whenever he watched TV. He saw the hooked profile of his nose and the furrowing of his brow whenever he read. He grew mad with obsession.

And he also saw every time his mother and father kissed each other good night. He saw each and every commercial on TV, whether for fabric softener or diapers or home repair, where a man and a woman, clearly in love, enjoyed whatever product was being sold. He noticed that each and every couple on the Cialis commercials contained one man and one woman, no other configuration. He saw the budding relationships between a guy and a girl on each of his favorite television shows, and read about heros and heroines in his novels. Deep down, to the core of his being, he knew that they were all right, and he was wrong.

When his obsessions had stifled him to the point where he could no longer breathe, he wrote a note to his parents saying Aric had invited him to stay over for a few days, and that he'd call them tomorrow. He got in his car and drove. The drive out to Aric's new place wasn't that long, and it ran along a lot of back roads lined with sycamore trees and cozy houses tucked in the woods. Aric's place was a small house on the edge of a farm, rented to him by the farmer.

When Tom got there, there were no cars in the driveway. He tried the front door, but it was locked, so he sat in the wicker chair on the porch and waited. It was long enough that he contemplated going home, wondering what the hell he was doing. He was sick and disgusted with himself for his feelings. The shame he felt was unreal, but his legs wouldn't carry him back to his car.

It was still bright out when Aric's car, a blue sedan, pulled into the driveway. Summer was beautiful that way, still affording one a few hours of daylight after a long day at work. Aric got out of his car looking grimy and exhausted and bewildered.

"Tom, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" He jogged up to the porch.

Tom nodded. "Everything's fine."

"Did you run away? Do Mom and Dad know you're here?"

Tom nodded.

"Let's go inside. I've got to get cleaned up." Aric unlocked the door and held it open for Tom. He started up the stairs. "I'm going to take a shower. You can wait in the kitchen, if you want. There's food in the fridge."

"Aric wait."

He turned around on the stairs. Tom struggled to find more words, but they seemed stuck in his throat. He took a deep breath and swallowed, forcing them out.

"I love you."

Aric looked as if Tom had struck him.

"Look, I know what I said," Tom said, walking toward the stairs, "but I've been going crazy all week. Please. I'm sorry."

Aric looked down, his shoulders sunken. "I've got to get cleaned up."

"Then let me help you," Tom said, stepping onto the stairs. His heart was pounding, and he was hardly aware of the words that had come out of his mouth. Aric didn't say anything in response, but started up the stairs. Tom walked after him.

The bathroom was small, white walls with stains where they met the ceiling, but the shower was a bath combo. Before Aric could do anything else, Tom plugged the drain and started the water, feeling it to check the temperature.

"What are you doing?" Aric asked.

"Just let me take care of you. Please." He helped Aric take off his shirt and tossed it in the hamper. Aric tried to kiss him, but he put up his hand. He knelt down and took of Aric's socks, then helped him pull off his pants, then boxer-briefs. Aric stood over him, naked, and Tom could smell his musk.

He stood. "Get in the water, and hand me the shampoo."

Aric looked confused, but obeyed. Tom waited until Aric was settled in the water, then knelt down beside him. He gestured for Aric to wet his hair, and he rolled up his sleeves and lathered up the shampoo in his hands. Aric sat with his back to Tom, and Tom soaped up his hair.

"Tom, what are you doing?"

Tom chuckled. "I don't know." He took great care lathering Aric's hair, making sure to massage his scalp with his fingertips. He cupped the water in his hands and attempted to rinse Aric's hair, but Aric saved him the trouble, dipping his head into the water and washing the shampoo away. He handed Tom the bar of soap, and Tom lathered up his hands and began to massage Aric's shoulders. As he worked his way down Aric's back, his brother stood up, and Tom was lathering his butt, touching skin he always desired to touch but was forbidden to do so. He continued to lather down his thighs and calves, and Aric turned around, and he worked his way back up. He felt himself blush as he soaped up Aric's erect cock, but he simply lathered it, then continued up Aric's stomach and chest as Aric lowered back into the water.

Aric stared at Tom as he did all this, and a few times their eyes met, but Tom did not allow their gazes to lock until he had finished with the soap. For a moment, they simply stared into each other's eyes. Tom wasn't sure what he saw in Aric's. Confusion, sadness, passion. Then Aric reached out and cradled Tom's face in his hands, and kissed him. And Tom allowed himself to kiss back.

Water dripped from Aric's hair, his face, his arms, onto Tom's shirt and pants, but Tom didn't notice. He just kissed Aric's lips, supple against his own, and felt Aric's hands on his cheeks. He wished he could freeze time and stay there, but as all things do, the kiss ended.

"We should dry you off," he whispered.

Without a word, Aric stood, and Tom took a towel off the rack and began to dry Aric's hair. Even under the towel, Aric felt solid, manly. Tom had always admired him, but maybe it had been desire rather than admiration. Clean, Aric's skin seemed to glow in the bathroom light. He reached out and rested a hand on Tom's shoulder.

"Would you like to share my bed tonight?"

It's hard to describe what it's like to like naked in the arms of another man. It's almost like the delightful sensation of holding hands, but magnified a thousand times. There's the feeling of his skin against your own, all down your body, your chests pressed together, his arms around your back, his hands on your butt, your cock pressed against his, your legs entwined. There's the feeling of his heartbeat, his breathing, mingled with your own. There's the penetrating warmth of his life.

And they were kissing. All kinds of kissing. Chaste kissing, and kissing where their tongues darted in and out of each other's mouths. They kissed lips, cheeks, necks, ears. They held each other so tight, as if they could meld together into one being if they just could hug a little bit harder. And every once in a while, to breathe, they would pull back and look at each other, admiring the curve of the smile, the blush of the cheeks, the line of the eyebrows, the curve of the eyelashes, the way the hair feel across the forehead. It was as if they were under the influence of some drug where their whole existence was refracted in a kaleidoscope of beauty.

They were brothers, damn it! Brothers! Incest and homosexuality! It wasn't supposed to be this way. The Bible forbade it. Society forbade it. What would people think? They couldn't know! It would be a disaster!

In the moment, though, it was right. It was right when Aric's mouth closed around Tom's cock. Could anything else feel so wonderful? Aric pressed his tongue right up against Tom's shaft, stimulating everything as he bobbed his head up and down. With his hand he massaged Tom's balls, and Tom reached down and massaged his scalp, dreaming of giving this distinct pleasure back to his brother. Aric licked his balls, kissed his thighs, slid his tongue behind his balls and dangerously close to Tom's hole. Tom only wanted more of it.

This wasn't what he had consciously dreamed of when he'd looked at Aric's body. Nobody had ever told him what sex felt like, even though he read plenty of dirty stories on the internet. This was better, though. This was real.

He pushed Aric away from his cock and kissed him deeply, hungrily. All he wanted was to show Aric he appreciated everything, that he loved him mind and body. For a moment, their kiss broke, and Aric giggled in pleasure, and Tom giggled too. The smile on Aric's face was intoxicating, arresting. He reached out and massaged Aric's smooth cheek with his thumb, looking into his blue eyes. How was it that there could be such joy in utter depravity?

He inched backward on the bed so that his face was above Aric's crotch and took hold of his brother's cock. For a moment he just looked at it and stroked it, feeling its solid girth in his fist, watching a drop of precum form on the tip and coaxing it onto his finger. He could smell his brother's musk mixed with the scent of soap. His heart pounded, and he chuckled out of nervousness.

"Have you done this before?" Aric asked.

Tom shook his head. He leaned in closer, let his lips brush the tip of Aric's cock. The head was soft, smooth, and he licked it. The precum was salty, good, and he drew his tongue up and down the length of the shaft. Aric's breath hissed, and Tom felt a bit of confidence grow in him. He put the cock in his mouth and started sucking it, feeling its shape with his tongue. The tastes of precum and skin mingled on his tongue as he worked around the shaft. With his hands he started massaging Aric's thighs, and when he felt brave enough, he looked up. Aric had thrown his head back, and Tom admired the smooth lines of his throat and jaw.