Mr. Basketball Ch. 13

"What about you?" I questioned.

"I'm in a better place now Jake. I'm always going to be watching over you though. Take care of her Jake. She is going to need you and I'm counting on you to be there for her."

"I will Teagan, I promise."

I looked at her eyes again. I loved those eyes so much. I missed them now. I missed everything about her. "I miss you," I barely spoke.

"I know you do," she said softly. "Don't worry about me Jake. I'm in a better place now. There's no sorrow, no pain, no regrets. It's peaceful here."

I watched her as she smiled softly and watched the lake for a moment. She looked so peaceful sitting there.

"I'm sorry for who I became after," I said sadly.

She smiled a gentle and calming smile as she looked over at me. "I know you are. You battled your demons and you won. There's nothing to ashamed about. You learned from it. You learned how strong you really are."

"I learned that from you," I offered.

She giggled a little. She slipped her fingers around mine and just held my hand. She rested her head on my shoulder as we both looked out at the lake. A single white swan slowly passed by as we just sat there now. Time stood still as we sat there watching it swim by until it was out of sight. It felt so good to feel her hand in mine again. Her skin was so warm and soft and it relaxed me. Her soft smell filtered into my nose as she leaned against my shoulder. We didn't speak now. There was nothing left to say. I just enjoyed her company knowing that our time together was growing short.

We sat there for a while just holding hands and leaning on each other until she softly spoke.

"Do you remember that time we went to the Bahamas?"

"I remember," I smiled.

"The horseback ride at sunset," she continued.

"Yeah, your horse stunk so bad."

She just giggled and continued on with the story. Then she moved on to the next memory from the times we shared together. It was perfect to sit here and talk with her about our life together. I remembered each story she talked about and only smiled and laughed with her about them.

After a while we fell silent again. It was just us holding one another again just like we had been before. My hand was holding hers with her head resting on my shoulder. The sun was down below the horizon and twilight had surrounded us. I felt her lift her head away from my shoulder and I knew this was the end. I held her hand tightly not wanting to let her go. She stood and turned to me as I wouldn't let go.

"Jake," she said tenderly. "I have to get going."

"Don't go," I begged. Tears now streamed down my face as I looked at her.

"I have to," she said faintly. "It's time."

I squeezed her hand one last time before I gently opened and let her hand fall away from mine. My lip quivered as I watched her drop it to her side. So many questions ran through my mind right now. I just sat there and watched her face smiling down at me. She could feel no pain and no sorrow where she was. She could clearly see that I could still.

"Please don't cry for me," she whispered.

"It's hard not to," I barely got out.

She tried to calm me with her gentle smile. She took my hands back into hers and held them just like the day we both said our 'I dos' to each other.

"I know this isn't how you expected things to go. The time we shared together was brief, but the love you gave me was more than enough to last a lifetime. I felt so loved with you by my side and I couldn't have asked for more. I'm grateful for the time we spent together and I wouldn't change one minute of it."

I squeezed her hands tightly as she paused for a moment. Her words meant so much to me right now. It left me no doubt that she felt loved and I should have no regrets with the time I had with her. My tears streamed down my face and rolled off my cheeks as I sobbed.

"Look forward Jake. Your future is with Taylor now. You and her are going to do great things together. Be happy with her and cherish every minute you have with her. Don't look back and don't question why. Don't feel guilty about it. You are perfect for her."

"Teagan," I barely spoke. "I really did treasure you. You were a gift I didn't deserve. I'm sorry I didn't hold you one last time when..."

I was so overcome with emotion I couldn't get the rest out.

"Jake," she smiled softly still. "Don't live with that regret. I know you love me. I know how much I mean to you. I can see it in your heart."

I was crying like a baby as she said those words to me. She leaned down and gave me a tender kiss to my forehead. She smiled at me again before she started to walk away. Our arms stretched to their max before my fingers slipped from hers and my empty hand fell to the bench where she had just sat. I didn't look back as she left my side and walked behind the bench. I only sobbed and tried to focus on the water in front of me. The wind rustled the trees a short time later and I knew she had gone to where ever she was going.

I shot awake in bed and gasped loudly. I couldn't help but start sobbing as Taylor woke up startled by how quickly I had sprung awake. She clicked the bedside lamp on and turned to me.

"What's wrong Jake?" she asked with so much concern.

I couldn't speak for the moment. I could only cry. I turned my body and hung my feet off the bed so Taylor couldn't see me crying. I held my hands over my face as she shifted around in bed and rubbed my back.

"Jake," she whispered. "What is it? What has you so upset?"

"Teagan," I breathed. It was all I could manage at the moment.

She hugged me from behind now and ran her hands up and down my arms doing her best to comfort me.

"Talk to me Jake," she whispered.

I remained silent for the moment. I couldn't put but two words together right at the moment anyway. The whole thing shook me to my core as I tried to calm down enough to speak. I managed to get it under control after another minute passed by.

"You know about the dreams?" I quivered.

"I know," Taylor said softly.

"She said goodbye to me tonight. She said she had to go."

Taylor wrapped her arms around my chest as she hugged me tightly. Her head rested on my shoulder as she softly cried with me. I could feel her tears running down my shoulder as I let her hold me. The dream ran through my head again. I turned to Taylor now and hugged her tightly. We spent some time just crying and holding each other until I gathered myself enough to speak again.

"She said she was happy for us," I whispered. "She said I was supposed to take care of you and not to be afraid of loving you like I loved her."

Taylor looked at me. Her eyes were swollen from crying as she searched for the words she wanted to say. "I ... I don't know what to say."

"I don't either," I offered.

We just sniffled and wiped our eyes as we tried to gather ourselves.

"Was it a mistake for us to become us?" she questioned.

"No," I said quickly. "She said not to feel guilty."

"But I feel like I don't deserve you," she whimpered. "You were hers, not mine."

"My future is with you. We are going to do great things together. I don't want you to think like that."

She looked at me again. Her face said more than she could say at this point. I pulled her into another hug as we cried together more. After a few moments she pulled away and looked at me.

"Are you sure you want to be with me? I'm not ever going to be Teagan."

"Nobody will ever be her," I said softly. "I don't want anyone to be her. The time I had with her was something very special to me and I don't want you to try and be her."

She still had this lost look on her face. She didn't know what to say next so I spoke for her.

"I want to be with you Taylor," I said firmly. "I want to fall more in love with you each and every day. Tonight when I said that I loved you I meant it. This dream was powerful but she clearly wanted us to know that she was happy with us being a couple."

"Ok," Taylor whimpered. "I just want to make sure you feel like it's the right thing to be with me."

"It is baby," I said turning her chin up to look at me.

"Ok," she whispered.

I pulled her into another hug and softly rubbed her back to give her some comfort now. This was just as hard for her as it was for me. I pulled back to look at her again.

"Why did she choose tonight?" she asked softly.

I knew the exact answer to that question. It was because I told Taylor that I loved her. Teagan had been guiding me since she had passed. Even during my drunk and loose stage she was there guiding me. I hadn't listened to her until that night at Megan's. I smiled to myself as I thought about it. She wanted to make sure I was going to be ok. There was no need for her to guide me anymore. She knew I was happy again. It hurt that she had to go now but I knew the reason why she choose tonight.

"I think we both know the answer to that one," I said softly. "She knows I am going to be ok now and I'm happy again. And I am happy again. You make me happy and give me a reason to love life again."

Taylor smiled again as I took her hands in mine.

"Did she say anything else?" Taylor asked with some hesitation.

"We talked about the good times we shared together," I offered. "It was good to remember them with her."

"I know," she smiled. "I don't want to know anymore then. That's something you two shared together."

"I'm going to miss her," I sighed. "But I'm supposed to look forward to the future with you. That's what I'm going to do."

"You don't have to forget about her," Taylor said. "I don't want you to stop thinking about her because we are together now."

"I'm not ever going to forget about her. I just can't question why anymore. My life has never gone the way I've hoped it would. I'm happy with where it's going right now though. You make me happy Taylor. That's what's important to me now."

She could only smile at me as I said this to her.

"I've got to blow my nose," I said. "Try and go back to sleep."

"Are you coming back?" she questioned.

"I will," I said. "I'm going to take some time to be alone right now. Go back to sleep."

"Are you going to be ok?" she asked.

"Yeah," I smiled. "I'm just going to gather my thoughts."

I leaned down and kissed her letting her know everything was going to be fine. I left the room and went down to the workout room. I opened the file on the computer that had our photos and I started clicking through them. The dream was sad for me but it was also happy. It gave me a chance to remember how happy I was and that I could be happy again with my new life I was starting. I took the time to look at the pictures and remember her and the good times we shared together.

I must have spent an hour looking through them before I closed the file and sat there thinking. I would always treasure the time I spent with Teagan there was no questioning that. But Taylor was my future now. I didn't know where the next couple of years were going to take us but I knew I had to be there for her.

I climbed the steps and silently crawled back into bed. Taylor turned over and wrapped her arms around me.

*

We were both quiet the next morning as I got her up. The events from last night were still fresh in our minds. We just went about our business of getting dressed and ready for school. Taylor ate breakfast as I sat there and sipped on my coffee. Then we loaded up in the car and headed off to the school.

"I love you Taylor," I said holding her. "Have a good day today and I will see you in the gym at four."

"I love you too Jake," she smiled.

I gave her a soft kiss before I sent her on her way.

I made my way over to the gym with my little box of stuff I had taken out a few days ago. I spent some time unpacking and getting reorganized. I kicked my feet up on my desk once I finished and looked around the office. It felt good to be back. I knew what I had to do next.

I picked up the phone and sighed before dialing. Coach P answered the phone. We had a brief chat before I got down to business and told her what had happened over the past few days. She took it with a grain of salt. She wasn't thrilled that Taylor would pull a stunt like that but she was proud that she stood up for what she believed in.

We talked a little more about the game from the other night before we said our goodbyes and hung up. I was just about to kick my feet back up on the desk when my phone starting ringing again.

"Normally I'm the one who calls you," I laughed as I spoke to Jenny.

"What the hell is going on down there?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?" I laughed again.

"I just saw the paper online. Didn't you see it?"

"No why?"

"The headline said Ejected," she said. "Whiteman gets a double technical as Tillman suits back up for the playoff push."

"That made the paper," I gasped.

"Front page in the local section," she confirmed.

"It's been a long couple of days," I sighed. "They found out about us then fired me. The team quit and turned in their stuff. Last night I was reinstated and Whiteman was given an administrative job. What a mess."

"It sounds like it," she laughed. "So how have you been besides that?"

"Last night was a little unsettling," I sighed. "Teagan paid me another visit."

There was a long pause as Jenny thought.

"I'm doing the right thing Jenny," I said. "Taylor is great and I haven't been this happy since before the accident."

"That's good to hear Jake," she offered. "I'm happy that you are happy."

"I am," I smiled. "I really am."

We made small talk as I sat there and put my feet up on the desk. It was the first time in a long time that Jenny and I just talked as friends and not as my therapist. We must have talked for twenty minutes before Mr. Hart stopped in to see if I was there. I told him I would only be another minute as he walked in and sat on the little couch. We finally hung up and I turned my attention to Mr. Hart.

"I see you found your way back," he laughed.

"It's like I never left the place," I joked.

"Do you have everything you need?" he asked.

"Yeah, everything is here. Except for the jerseys and the bags. I can't seem to find them."

"Let me find George and ask him where they are. I will be back in a minute."

"I'm going to grab breakfast so I will be gone for a little while."

"Alright coach," Mr. Hart smiled. "I will see you later."

"Mr. Hart," I said. "Thank you for doing this for me. I know you are putting yourself out on a limb for me but know that I really appreciate what you are doing for me."

"You've given so much of yourself to this school Mr. Tillman. I can't thank you enough for that and I want you to know you are always welcome here until you are ready to leave. Hopefully that isn't any time soon."

I didn't let on that I was planning to leave at the end of the season. I just thanked him as we both walked out of my office and headed out of the gym.

"Mr. Hart?" I said just before we went our separate ways.

"Yes coach?" he smiled.

"Could you do me one more little favor?"

"That all depends," he said still smiling.

"It probably goes without saying but can you let Rodney know he's not a part of this team anymore."

He chuckled lightly. "I already made that clear this morning when I met George in the office."

"Thank you Mr. Hart. If I had to do it, it wouldn't be pretty."

"I figured as much coach," he laughed. "Especially after the other night at the game."

"Yeah," I sighed. "That was something else."

"Go on and get your breakfast Jake. I'll hunt George down and get those jerseys back to you."

I left and had a quiet breakfast as I read the paper. It was interesting to get another prospective on the issue. I was just finishing up when I got a call from Mr. Hart.

"I said I would be back in a while," I laughed answering the phone.

"George said the stuff should be in the office on the couch," he panted.

"Well, it wasn't," I said uneasy.

"Shit," he cursed. "If we don't have those jerseys we can't play tonight."

"That goes without saying," I sighed.

"What are we going to do?" he questioned.

"You keep looking," I said. "I will come up with a plan B. I will be back in ten minutes to help."

We searched for a half an hour and came up with nothing. We hit the gym and turned it upside down and found nothing. We branched out from there and searched the main office thinking maybe the janitor put them there. We called the janitor and asked him if he might have seen them. He said he saw them on Tuesday when I got let go but he hadn't seen them since. Mr. Hart was in a panic as he paced around trying to think of where they could be.

"We don't have time for this," I quipped.

"Can we use the boys' jerseys?" he questioned.

"If you want the girls swimming in them," I laughed. "Keep looking and I will see what I can do."

I quickly headed back to my office and grabbed a roster. I called the local print shop. I told him what I needed.

"Ok," he said. "I can do that. They will be ready on Monday."

"No," I hissed. "They have to be ready by 4 pm today. I need them tonight by 530 at the latest."

"I can put a rush on them but it's going to be expensive."

"I couldn't care less about the cost," I barked. "I have to have them."

"It's going to be like two grand."

"Whatever," I said. "Can you have them by 4?"

"I can try."

"Get them started and I will be there in a few to pay for them."

"You got it," he said. "I will deliver them when they get done."

"Thank you," I said.

At 515 the jerseys arrived at the gym. The JV girls quickly dressed and got ready to play by 530. The varsity girls sat around on the bleachers and watched. They bugged me several times to let them have their jerseys but I kept them waiting.

"How much does the school owe you, coach?" Mr. Hart questioned.

"Nothing," I smiled. "It's my contribution to the team this year. I put their last names on them so they you won't be able to use them again anyway."

"That was nice of you to do that," he offered.

"I thought it would be a nice touch since they have worked so hard this year."

"I know what happened to the jerseys," he sighed.

"You found them after all?" I asked. "Where were they?"

"I didn't say I found them," he offered. "I just said I know what happened to them."

"Well, what happened to them?"

"I reviewed the security tapes and didn't see anything at first. Then I looked at the parking lot cameras and saw someone running off with a trash bag to a car. I got the plate number and traced it to Ted Martin."

I shook my head as I knew who it was. "Jeremey," I hissed.

"He admitted to it when I told him I wouldn't have him prosecuted. He will no longer be attending school here though."

"One day he might grow up," I sighed.

"He told me an interesting story about the two of you," Mr. Hart said with a slight smile.

"I bet," I smiled right back.

"I wish it was me there that night," Mr. Hart admitted. "That kid has been a pain in my side since he got here. It's all hearsay and I'm going to pretend I didn't hear anything."

"Funny thing about wishing you were there Mr. Hart," I laughed a little. "There were quite a few people that also wished they were there."

"I guess he had what was coming to him didn't he?" Mr. Hart chuckled.

"Thom said it best. You shouldn't screw with me or my family."

Mr. Hart only laughed as he strolled off to get a drink.

I gathered them in the locker room as the third quarter came to a close in the JV game. I handed out the long awaited jerseys to them. They could only thank me for getting them and having their names stitched into the backs. It was just a little thing but they really enjoyed that. I left them to get dressed before returning to give them the pregame talk.

"Alright girls," I started. "We have been through some crap this week haven't we? It's all behind us now. It's time to focus on the game and what we need to do to win. Leave all the distractions of the week in here. I want you girls focused on the task at hand. This team isn't that good but that doesn't mean you can slack off and coast through. They don't have anything to play for. They are going to treat this like it's their championship game so you have to be ready. Don't come in here after the game and say I should have done this or that. Leave it all out there on the floor and don't take anything back in here with you. Play hard and play for each other. Bring it in here."