Mr Computer Cleaner Ch. 07

The dreaded mother/grandmother from Argentina arrives and Cal survives, thanks to nimble thinking by Dio and the wedding ends in an unexpected revelation for Cal, Carra and Dio.

*

Arriving at the office Dio was briefed by Angela, who immediately handed him a strong cup of black coffee. He learned that the two mid-aged men were from Sandhurst Downs, a huge area of plains and gently rolling land upcountry, bordered by mountain ranges roughly in the shape of a triangle. In fact the area was known locally as 'The Triangle'.

The men delivered rural mail over the entire area, which generally took them from 7:00 to 2:00. Angela told Dio that two years ago the men had decided to use the remainder of their afternoons productively and had studied computer technology by correspondence, gaining certificates from the recognized training establishment. They had then hired a local communications officer who'd worked as a computer repair technician to tutor them in hardware maintenance skills. Just as Dio had done, they completed this training by each building their own personal computer.

Angela flitted around him, asking if he were feeling any better. He nodded and she stood behind him massaging his neck and shoulders. She was good, very good in fact; little wonder Philip had strayed. Finishing that, she came around in front of him, bending down, her grey eyes looking most concerned. She really was attractive and her dress front really was very loose.

"Can you cope, or should I send you home and tell them to come back this afternoon?"

"I'm fine. I felt like shit when I walked in but somehow you have worked a small miracle. I'm nine-tenths back to normal. You're amazing."

"Do you really think so," Angela said, studying him thoughtfully.

"Um, there are four of us as I'll get Selby to come in. May we use Philip's office?"

"Yes, certainly; off you go and I'll wheel your clients in."

Dio thank her profusely and was relieved to find 'that look' had gone from her face. She was her normal businesslike self again.

The two applicants were roughly alike – typical country blokes with basic haircuts, weather-beaten faces, very firm handshakes and dressed in standard rural 'best gear' of fawn cotton drill trousers, brown casual shoes, multi-colored open-neck shirts and jerkins – one was plain, the other leather-trimmed thus avoiding being identically dressed.

Dio's immediate assessment was that they looked good, dependable, upfront guys who'd come gunnin' for you if they thought you were taking them for a ride.

Ralph Levett was fair-hair, balding from the temples, with a crooked grin and piercing blue eyes, a slight potbelly indicating he either sat down at his job or drank beer in quantity, or both. He came in first, sat down first and spoke first, indicating leadership – at least of the two-man team.

Ian James was of similar average build, dark hair and plenty of it, a blue jowl, watery and red-rimmed green eyes, a sharp nose and very long fingers that would be useful for playing a keyboard or a guitar or picking up pins from the floor if his wife was a dressmaker. Dio shook his head, to clear it; why was he thinking such nonsense about long fingers?

Ralph was already well into explaining why they wanted franchises.

"So, we have gained this expertise and were not sure how to use it. I advertised in the offering to repair computers but did not get a single reply. Then Ian made a break through. Tell him Ian."

Ian explained that a cousin of Philip Battersby had told him that Philip was connected with a company that was about to start franchising a computer servicing business. He'd phoned Philip who'd explained what was involved, but they hadn't made an appointment to see him; they had just assumed he'd be working in his office when they arrived

"We came down last night and have people doing our deliveries for us today," he explained.

"Yeah, our first time staying in a motel," Ralph said.

Dio remained nervous. "Setting up a franchise operation involves a lot of money."

"Don't we know," Ralph said almost belligerently. "Almost a bloody rip off if you ask me. But we have the money from our nervous bank manager. That together with our cash inputs comes to the required amount – fifty-four grand each, according to what Philip told me. We need the vans because our mail delivery contracts prevent us from using our official delivery vans for anything other than the mail service and personal transport."

"Philip is back in the morning," Dio said, hoping they would buy his attempt of buck-passing.

"We are going back home this afternoon," Ralph replied, uncompromisingly.

"Right," said Dio. "Bear with me for a moment."

He phoned Selby Brown and ask what was he doing.

"Right now I'm parked on the roadside having a pie and a coke," laughed Selby.

"Any chance of coming in?"

"When?"

"Now."

"Shit, that's a bit sudden."

"Or within an hour or two?"

"No, I'll come now. Where to?"

"The coffee shop opposite Philip's office – we've got two potential franchisees to assess."

"Wow! Two! You lucky bugger. See you in fifteen."

Dio said the applicants, "Selby our assessor will be here in fifteen minutes. He's a franchisee himself and is employed on contract by the company to assess new applicants. If you are what you say you are there should be no problem, and if he passes you it's just a matter of completing the paperwork, getting your vehicles delivered and the stationery etcetera printed with your names. While that is taking place you will be required to undergo three days of intensive training."

Ralph said that was fine.

"We have documented our backgrounds and have attached testimonials and certificates as well as our checks. Now, we wish to hear from you what your company will be offering us by way of technical support and business promotion. Franchising is a two-way deal, you know."

"Yes, I do know that. Look, let's hop across the road to the coffee shop and we can talk there. When Selby arrives he'll take you one at the time. The assessment, which includes some practical work, takes thirty to forty-five minutes. So all being well you will be on your way home early afternoon."

Dio thought this whole thing was a little bizarre. He didn't know anything about them, nor did he know if they really knew about the service in detail. What if there weren't enough people in The Triangle to make it profitable for two franchisees?

While waiting for their coffees, he asked how many people live in the region.

"Forty-eight thousand people – it's not the sticks, you know," Ralph said. "It comprises hundreds of farms of varying sizes and a number of small country towns and villages. But don't you worry. We've done market sampling, and know that there is an estimate thirty-six thousand computers in our region. If we get decent market promotion through you guys in our area we'll be right as rain. My brother-in-law is principal of a school in my area and his school board has agreed to me taking up the contract for looking after the school IT system providing I get the backup of a reputable firm – which I shall present as you guys. They pay and arm and a leg to have a guy come in from outside The Triangle to look after their computers, so are willing to trial me for six months. We both will have additional opportunities like this."

Both passed their assessments, easily.

"This will be a good test bed-for us for remote located franchisees," Selby told Dio quietly. "I was astonished to be told that there are almost fifty thousand people living in The Triangle. How on earth can two people deliver mail to all those dwellings?"

"They don't. The major of those people live in towns that have their individual mail delivery system. Our guys deliver to try rural folk but there are some others who do that as well."

"Gee, two in one blow," said Selby. "It's getting a bit like the tailor and seven flies."

"What tailor is that?"

"You've obviously had a hard night pal. We won't get into the Brothers Grimm story telling."

Selby handled the documentation process and briefed the two applicants further. He then called Dio and they took the two franchisees-in-waiting to lunch after which Dio would take them on to Ronnie for the reading and signing of contracts.

Over lunch, Dio took great care to explain what the two would be provided under the agreement and what their obligations would be.

"Our three current franchisees - who include me – are experienced Helpdesk operators so the transition for us was easy. We have not yet fully prepared ourselves for the indoctrination of further franchisees but you are insisting on proceeding," he said. "We will look after you carefully, and I will reduce the royalty payment that has been set at 6 percent of gross back to 3 percent for the first six months from the date of signing because our systems are not yet fully established. Do you understand this?"

"Yeah, yeah, Ralph replied. "We are experienced owner-operators you know and our wives are just itching to become involved in answering the phone calls and setting up appointment times as well as doing other administration. We also agreed with Selby to take the standard contract package with the cheapest van, keeping our costs of buying the franchise to fifty-four grand. We can always trade in on more up-market wheels if our businesses boom."

Ian also confirmed he understood the situation, and thanked Dio for making the concession on royalty payment. "Like we said earlier, we've done our homework and know that we have to promote ourselves once you've guys moved in with your opening promotion of us. Apparently your consultant Felix someone will prepare a folded A-3 promotional flyer and get printed the numbers we require as soon as we send our photographs to him."

"Good," said Dio, relieved. "You both appear have a good grasp of what's involved. During the three-day training sessions the company's undertaking will be explained, detailing what you have purchased including the van, promotional material and other marketing support and of course business support. Then your obligations will be discussed.

"When you come down for training could you bring a map of The Triangle, showing a dividing line that you both agree makes the mid boundary of your respective franchise area. The mountain ranges will be the other natural boundaries, one would assume. We will run off copies of the map for signing, appending a copy to the contract document."

Dio called for another round of beers.

The four men watched the smiling waitress clear the empties and place a full bottle in front of each of them.

As she walked off Ralph grinned.

"You lucky bastards, being in this environment all the time where waitresses don't wear bras and look right at you and speak so nicely. Up our way the waitress will stand, hands on hips chewing gum and ask, 'What do you fella's want – hurry up, I haven't all day'. Right Ian?"

"Damn right, Ralph. And did you see the size of them?"

"Um, didn't notice no bra or how big they were, did you Selby?" Dio asked.

"No," Selby said, also lying. "Like you I was too busy thinking about the look on these guys' faces when we hand across the keys of their vans. That is the moment that they'll really know they're on their way. I've agreed to spend a Friday on the job with them and their wives, just going over everything especially the accounting side. Then the boys and I are going on an overnight fishing trip, right boys."

"Yeah," said Ian, grinning. "You've got big 'uns in your restaurants, but wait until you see the size of our trout. You should come too, Dio."

"Dio can't," laughed Selby. "His mother-in-law wouldn't let him go."

The men from The Triangle looked at Dio curiously, but didn't query the comment as the waitress had arrived carrying four plates of steaks, eggs, tomatoes and chips.

* * *

With franchising developments, property dealings and business matters going off around him , topped with wedding distractions, Dio found he had less time to work on his own franchise business, which was not a problem.

The personable and multi-talented Selby Brown and the quite shy but very efficient Art Lobb who worked the zone between Selby and Dio – were happy to take over his call-outs and work harder to wipe off their buy-in franchising costs faster.

At an early morning meeting it was agreed to leave this arrangement on a semi-permanent basis – that when the workload got too great for them Dio would sell his franchise to a new operator.

He told Art that two new franchisees would soon be operating in The Triangle. Art looked thoughtful and said: "Would you consider paying us a finder's fee if we introduce likely people to the company who end up buying a franchise?

"Maybe," Dio responded.

"It would cut down processing time as we would only bother with guys with the background and dough, making them hot prospects."

"Sounds good. What are your thoughts Selby?"

"To be honest, we discussed this before you arrived. I really like Art's idea. It would be only short term because we would soon run out of local prospects. The real upside is we would build up a solid base around HQ before we launch into far-off regions."

"Right. So, ten bucks a throw?"

Ark looked shocked.

"Just kidding to see if you were awake, Art. What do you suggest?"

"Two hundred would be more like it."

"Selby?"

"I'd be happy with that, payable as travel or dining out vouchers."

"Art?"

"Good one."

"Right, agreed. Now roll these blokes in."

"I've got one outside right now."

"Jeez, that was presumptuous," Dio grinned.

"Nah, I haven't. Just winding you up."

"Have a nice day, fellows."

When Art and Selby had left the interview room at Philip's office, Dio went to reception and found that Philip was busy with a client. He told Angela what he wanted and she took him into her office and sat him down. She drew up a chair opposite him, and poised at the ready, notebook on her lap. When sitting down and crossing her legs, her skirt had ridden up but she made no effort to tug it down. Dio saw that she wore stockings and suspenders.

"Um, just a short note, no reason to go to this trouble," he said, looking at Angela then inadvertently flicking a look at her inner thigh again. When he looked back, her amber eyes were studying him.

Dio coughed and said: "To Philip from Dio...A $200 finder's fee is now payable to any franchisee, in cash or with vouchers if requested."

He coughed again.

"Oh, please add the date and thanks Angela," he said, and bolted. She didn't move, and at the door when he turned and waved she appeared to be pouting.

It was only 9:20 but Dio went over to Coffee Exotic, knowing that Celina and Mike would be up to their eyeballs. Celina was loading cakes into the display cabinet and leaned backwards to kiss him. Ever since his engagement she no longer kissed him so fully. He thought that was an unnecessary act of decorum as at least he was capable of trusting himself. He'd come to like her sloppy kisses and being in her vice-like embrace. On the other hand there was a gain – Celina and Carra had become very good friends.

"His Majesty is out the back."

"Hi Mike," said Dio, walking passed Susie and giving the lively teenager a slap on the rear.

"I like harder wallops than that, Dio," she called.

Mike was up to his elbows in scales and slivers of fish flesh.

"Just the man I want to see," Mike grunted, cutting off a fish head and rolling it off the bench into a plastic bin. "I won't kiss you, I'm messy," he cracked.

"He doesn't use that excuse with me," Susie laughed, pushing out her chest but that movement was wasted because Dio had not turned to acknowledge her wisecrack.

"How can I help?" Dio asked.

"Susie – fetch Mike a long black and two sugar cakes and bring them in here please love."

Susie began to pant loudly. "Oh my, what a great day I am having. Being able to make coffee with these little hands of mind for the great Dio Wellington; I wonder what he'll give me in return?"

"A ride in his ute to the Job Centre unless you move your ass."

"Oh, no worries. I'll do that for him," purred Susie.

Mike and Dio turned to watch her walk out.

"I don't know – these young girls today, all they seem to want to do is talk dirty," Mike said. "Not like in our younger days, eh mate?"

"Agreed. But it's mostly all talk is it?"

Mike suddenly found his protective mesh glove on the hand he was cutting against needed adjusting.

"Now, what was I going to talk to you about?" Having completed that little diversion, he suddenly recalled. "I know – I've had an offer of eight hundred bucks for the van. Initially I thought the shelia was going to charge me that to take it away. But she wants it for her father to drive around collecting boxes of vegetables that her pickers have lined up. She's been looking for a cheap four-wheel drive for weeks, and was elated when I told her it had lost its vitality. She said, 'And so has dad, and I don't want him tearing around like a teenager. A cheap something clapped out like him is all I want.' What a way to talk to strangers about your father."

"So you want me to help you look for a replacement?"

"Not exactly. I guess you've got some sort of deal with Mason Motors."

"Yeah, fleet owner's discount. I'm on the bottom rung at present. Oh, this is convenient: one transaction more would take me into the next level."

"Right then."

"Not quite. My agreement prohibits me from on-selling new vehicles."

"Fuck! I thought I had it all sorted. I know, you buy the van and lease it to me. I bet they haven't thought of blocking that dodge."

"Okay, I'll talk to Terry. It's his old man who is so rigid. If Terry says we can use that loophole then it's okay by me. We'll have to have a formal leasing agreement but I'll tell Ronnie it's at mates' rates."

Dio's morning refreshments arrive. "Here you are, Dio. Made with my own very pliable hands. Now, may I feed you?"

"Back to back to work," Susie. "The mid-morning rush will be hitting us soon. And you well know it's my unwritten rule no sex in here until the lunch crowds have gone."

"Does Celina know that rule Mike, or do only you me and Ivy?"

"Bugger off, Susie," grinned Mike, not looking at Dio. "Had my final fitting of my wedding suit, yesterday. It will be ready to pick up next Monday, so please tell your mother-in-law. I was rapt that she'd decided to pay for our suits."

"It surprised me too. But she's saying all the time that it's her wedding, so who was I to argue? She didn't actually offer – she said to go to Beamish the tailor and get your and your best man's and groomsman's suits made there. He has the instructions and every thing is taken care of."

"Yeah, Sly Beamish told me Madam Fleming was taking care of everything, from choice of material right through to and including payment. I thought for a moment Sly was going to call me 'Sir'. Sly and I used to raid orchards together when we were kids and pinch girls' knickers off clotheslines in night raids, so he knows that I'm no gentleman. But he's acting like a real tosser these days, with those fake airs and graces. That mother-in-law of yours, she must really be a pain in the butt?"

"No, she's quite a trick, really. She scares her husband shitless and her daughter treads carefully but I just stare her down and she seems to accept that I can't be kicked around. She's cool."

"She has a neat figure for an older dame, and she moves like silk. Have you ever thought of...?"

"That's a disgusting thought, Mike, and you know it!"

"Sorry Dio, I was right out of line."

"Yes, Mike is disgusting," Susie giggled.

"Disgusting, but we love him," Ivy laughed.

"How come you sheilas can't hear me when there's work to do but when I'm talking quietly to someone you can hear every word?"