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Click hereHe kissed my face and held me tightly as he spoke to me. "Oh my darling Sophia, you are the treasure of a lifetime. Such a sweet surrender for my pet."
He kissed me softly on the mouth, playing over my lips with his warm tongue. My face was wet with tears and I felt wiped out from the exertion and emotion. He stroked my body softly, untied my bonds and cleaned me off while I regained my senses. After what seemed like a long time, he helped me off the stainless steel counter and I teetered on my feet in a rush of dizziness. He held me close to his body and we stood there until I had my balance and then he held me close and walked me into the bedroom where he lay me down on his bed and he slowly undressed and got into bed with me holding me. Caressing my body and stroking my hair, speaking in low hushed tones in my ear as I fell asleep.
Damn that was so hot. Yeah the long paragraphs kind a made it difficult to keep place, but it didn't interfere with how fucking hot this story is!
Excellent!
But spoiled by silly errors and poor editing. Several tense changes. And long almost unreadable paragraphs.
You have potential, and it won't take much work to begin to realise it.