Mrs. Maitland's SAD Valentine


When he got back to his own house, he opened a beer, and kicked the empties off the coffee table. He turned on the TV, but couldn't find anything to watch. He took out his phone to play Angry Birds, but it held no interest for him.

He had another beer and looked around. George was right on one point. The fucking trailer was a mess. There was shit everywhere. Trash all over the kitchen, boxes and laundry on the living room floor. He just didn't have the energy to clean it. He drained the can, tossed it on the table, and lay down on the couch, using his laundry as a pillow.

It was dark out when his cell phone rang.

"Hello?" he said in a hoarse, groggy voice.

"Brad. It's Tanya. Merry Christmas!" She sounded chipper and a little drunk.

"Oh. Hey," he said.

"I want to see you," she said. "Can we get together on Saturday?"

"Saturday? I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Yeah, right. Like you have any plans. C'mon. I'll make you dinner. Be here at six, OK?"

Brad sighed. "OK. I guess. I suppose I'll be there."

"Please don't get pissed, Brad. I just have to ask you this. What's your problem?"

He groaned into the phone. "What are you talking about? I don't have a problem."

"You're so pissy and annoyed all the time. Every time I talk to you, you're ticked off about something."

"I'm just mad at my mother's boyfriend today. He started some shit with me at my mother's house."

"What kind of shit?"

"Just shit. He was on my case to load the dishwasher. My mother didn't even want me to, but he had to be a dick about it," Brad said.

"Brad, I'm betting your mother would have been grateful. Maybe you should have just done it."

"Oh, great. Now you're on my case," he said.

"No, Brad. Look. I think you need to try to let this go..."

"NO! I don't have to let it go. George needs to understand that he isn't the boss of me." He was angry and he was getting loud.

Tanya took a deep breath before she spoke. "OK, Brad. You're right. He's not your father." She paused. "Will you come for dinner on Saturday?"

"Yeah. Six o'clock. I'll be there."

After they said their goodbyes and hung up the phone, Brad opened up his porn site. He was in the mood for something nasty, so he went to the Double Penetration category, and scrolled until he found one he liked.

This one featured a hot Latina jailer with two prisoners. Clad only in a skimpy "uniform" top, what appeared to be black, leather panties, black, knee-high boots, and a police hat, she tapped a black baton against the palm of her hand. The men in the cell watched her walk her beat back and forth in front of the cell.

One of the men in the cell said something in Spanish, and she cracked the baton against the bars, making the men jump back.

"Lo quieren? You want it?" she said.

"No. No," the tall man said, shaking his head and backing off.

The short man was braver. He stepped toward her. "Sí, yo lo quiero. I want it. Quiero ponerlo en su culo. I want to put it in your ass."

She ran the baton across the bars, exerting her authority, and then she took the oversize key ring from the hook across the room and unlocked the door.

"Vengan acá. Come here." She motioned toward the table outside of the cell with the baton.

The camera cut to the next scene, in which they had already removed their clothes. The Latina kept her hat and boots and still held the baton. She was lying on the table on her back. The short prisoner was at the foot of the table, and the tall one was at the head. Both were stroking their large cocks.

Brad looked at the length of the video. Thirteen minutes and twenty seconds. "Crap. These free videos cut out all the good stuff." He pulled his dick out of his pants without pulling them down and started rubbing.

Tall Man put his cock between Jailer's painted lips, and Short Guy stuck his into her pussy. There was no more conversation in Spanish or in English, but that was fine with Brad. He stretched out on the couch and tugged harder on his cock. It was only semi hard at the halfway point of the movie.

Short Guy pulled out, and bent to lick Jailer's clit. She let out a high-pitched scream, so Tall Man shoved his cock as far as it would go into her mouth. She gagged each time it hit the entrance to her throat. Short Guy took the baton from her and placed it against her soaked pussy. He rubbed it through her wetness, and then pressed gently against her opening. He twisted the baton a bit to slip it past her lips before inserting it several inches into her vagina. She yelped again.

Brad was feeling his frustration rise. He was watching a woman being penetrated by a large, black night stick, and he still wasn't completely hard.

"What the fuck," he said.

Short Guy fucked Jailer with the stick until Tall Man took his dick out of her mouth. He used his hands to slap her tits, reddening them quickly. Short Guy took the baton that was slick from Jailer's pussy, and lined it up on her asshole.

"Sí. Cójame el culo. Fuck my ass."

Brad brought the phone closer to his face. He couldn't imagine how the thick stick was going to make it into her tiny, little asshole. He was distracted enough to stop stroking.

When the baton breached her outer ring, Brad's cock jumped in his hand. He groaned out loud as Short Guy inserted it several inches into her rectum. His hand went back to work on his now-fully-erect cock.

The baton disappeared one more inch, and Brad couldn't believe this bitch wasn't screaming. She was actually smiling as she was sodomized with the piece of wood.

Short guy finally removed the night stick, leaving her ass wide open. Short Guy stepped around and helped Jailer off the table. He took her place, lying on his back. His cock was longer and thicker than Tall Man's. He stroked it while Jailer climbed back up onto the table. She positioned herself on all fours, facing him. She lowered herself all the way down onto his cock and looked back over her shoulder at Tall Man, she smiled and gave a motion with her head towards her rear.


Tall Man lined his uncut head up with Jailer's hole and pushed. The baton had fucked away any resistance her sphincter would have given him, and he slid all the way inside her in one thrust. While he held still, Short Guy started to move his hips, moving his cock just a little bit. Tall Man started to withdraw, and...

...the video disappeared as his phone rang.


He looked at the caller ID. It was his mother.

"Leave a fucking message!" he yelled at the ringing phone. He let it go to voicemail.

When the phone stopped ringing, the video resumed, but with his penis shriveled in his hand, he was done. He turned off the phone, took a piss and went to bed.


Brad rang the bell at Tanya's apartment at seven-ten on Saturday night, prompting a hysterical yipping-frenzy from her Bichon Frisé. Brad could hear Tanya yelling through the door.

"Stanley! Go lay down! Stanley, lay down!"

When she finally opened the door, the small, white dog was in her arms.

"Hey, Brad. Shh! Stanley! This is Stanley. He gets a little excited when the doorbell rings. C'mon in."

She stepped aside to allow Brad to enter the apartment.

"Do you live alone?" he asked as he looked around. It was small, but very neat.

"Nope. I have a roommate. She goes to the university too. She goes home on the weekends though. Have a seat," she said, as she waved her arm toward the couch.

"Smells good. What's for dinner?" he asked.

"Lasagna. My mother's recipe. And garlic bread, but the rule is that if someone eats it, everybody has to eat it. It's only fair," she said with a twinkle in her eye. "It'll be ready in about half an hour. I'll bring you a beer."

Brad spotted her Wii U and looked through her games. She had several that he hadn't played before.

"Wanna play?" she asked, handing Brad a beer.

"Yeah. Super Mario U?"

"Sure." She set up the game, and they immersed themselves, stopping only for refills, until the kitchen timer signaled that the lasagna was finished.

They ate at the small table in the dining room.

"So. Tell me about Brad," she said.

"There's not much to tell, I guess," he said. "I'm pretty boring."

"O-K," she said. "I'll tell you about me.

"I just turned twenty-one during the summer. I graduate in May. How old are you? You seem kinda young to own your own trailer."

"I'm twenty-two. I graduated from East Lake in 2010, but I stayed back in fourth grade, so I was older than everybody else," he said.

"You must have loved fourth grade to want to repeat it so badly," she said, not meeting his eye.

Brad went on. "That was the year my dad died. I missed a lot of school that year."

"Oh, I'm sorry. How did he die?"

"Drunk driving," he said.

"Oh my god. Your father was killed by a drunk driver?"

"Nope. He drove off the Memorial Bridge on his way home from Kenny's Bar. He was smashed," he explained.

"Christ! I'm speechless," she said.

"He was a drunk, and he never seemed to do anything right. Kinda like me," he said. "I miss him though."

"Of course you miss him," she said. "Drunk or not, he was your dad."

"Yeah. He understood me. My mother loves me and all, but she doesn't get me. Like in high school. She thought if I just worked harder, I could of got better grades, and I could of went to college. I just couldn't do it.

My mom tried to get me into Special Ed. in second grade, but my dad finally got her to let it go. He didn't want me in the retard class, like he was."

Tanya started to speak, but Brad had heard it all before.

"Let's change the subject, OK?" he said. "What kind of dog is Stanley?"


After dinner, Stanley whined at the door to go out.

"C'mon," Tanya said. "He needs a walk, and I need a cigarette."

Stanley led the way to the end of the block in the cold darkness, his tail wagging as if to propel him forward.

"He's happy, huh?" Brad said as Stan stopped to pee on a signpost for the third time.

"Of course he is. He's walking with people. I'm pretty happy too," she said, taking a drag on her cigarette, its tip glowing brightly. "Aren't you?"

"Sure. Yeah. I'm happy," he said, hugging his arms close to his body.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "I thought we were having a good time."

"We are. I am," he said. "I don't know. I'm just in some kind of a funk lately."

"A funk, huh?" Tanya said with a twinkle in her eye. "I know a good cure for a funk. It has almost the same letters."

Tanya stopped to clean up after the dog, and Brad frowned again. He didn't know what the hell his problem was, but it was getting annoying.

They returned to the apartment in silence.

Tanya and Brad sat on the couch when they returned, and Brad flipped through the channels on TV. Tanya waited a few minutes to see if Brad was going to put the moves on her, or if she'd have to take the lead.

Growing tired of his silence, Tanya snuggled in next to Brad. He continued pushing buttons on the remote control, ignoring her.

Finally, she turned to face him. He continued to stare at the TV screen. She brought her face close to his and waited for him to turn to her.

When he realized she was staring at him, he moved only his eyeballs toward her. His eyes were smiling even though his mouth wasn't.

Tanya crossed her eyes, which made him laugh out loud.

"You know, Brad, you're adorable when you smile. You should do it more often."

He leaned down to her, his lips parted, eyes closed. She tipped her face to meet his. Just before their lips made contact, Tanya stuck her tongue out and licked his lips.

"Hey! What the hell was that?"

"I wanted a taste. I've kissed your cock twice, but I've never kissed your mouth, you know," she said, grinning.

"So you lick me? That's it. Tickle torture!"

Brad's fingers wiggled all over Tanya's body. He tickled her belly and her neck, her armpits and even her feet. She laughed and squirmed until Stanley started yipping at them.

"OK. OK. I'll stop," Brad said, throwing his hands up in surrender.

Tanya lay back on the couch to catch her breath. When Brad brought his hands down, he placed them on her breasts and gave them a gentle squeeze through her shirt.

"Mmm," she moaned.

Brad leaned over her and unbuttoned her shirt. He opened the shirt all the way and let his eyes roam over her torso. He slipped his cold hands into her bra and felt her nipples harden against his palms. She placed her hands on top of his, trapping them against her skin.

"Your nipples are hard," he said with a smile.

"Your dick is hard. It's pressing into my leg. Take off your pants."

Brad stood and took off all of his clothes. Tanya had seen his cock before, but this was the first time she was seeing him completely nude.

She smiled as she looked over his body.

"Very nice," she said. "Very nice."

"Why are you still wearing clothes?" he asked. "C'mon. Take 'em off."

Tanya finished stripping off her clothes, grabbed Brad by the hand, and led him to her bedroom.

"C'mon. The condoms are in my room."

"This is a nice view, that's for sure," Brad said. Tanya looked back over her shoulder and smiled.

Brad and Tanya sat down on Tanya's bed. "Let's make out," Tanya said with a wink.

They dived onto the bed. Brad nudged Tanya onto her back and leaned over her, lowering his lips to hers. The kiss began gentle and sweet, but quickly escalated into sloppy spit swapping. Brad ran his hand over Tanya's tits, circling her nipples with his thumb.

Tanya moaned into his mouth. Brad's hand drifted down her body, and he caressed the skin on her thighs. When his fingertips ran through her trimmed pubic hair, she shivered and smiled. She spread her legs to accommodate his touch.

His fingers dipped between her lips and found her wetness.

"Oh, yes. Please touch me. Rub my clit."

Brad's hand explored, fingers dipping into her opening. "You are dripping wet," he said with a hint of awe in his voice.

"Now move up to my clit," she said.

Brad's hand moved up a bit.

"Higher," she said.

He moved his hand a little bit more.

"Even higher," she said.

Finally he found her clit.

"There it is. Hold still for a minute. Good. Now swirl your fingers in little circles."

He zeroed in on the target and started rubbing.

"Ooh. Not so hard," she said, flinching.

He eased up, only to be corrected again for circling too softly. He was beginning to get frustrated, but he tried not to show it.

"How's that?" he asked.

"A little better," she said, closing her eyes.

He kept rubbing, hoping to get some kind of reaction from Tanya. He didn't get it before Tanya rolled away from him.

"The condoms are over here," she said, removing the package from the drawer in her nightstand.

"No blow job tonight?" he asked, making an attempt at puppy-dog eyes.

"Nah. It's time. I want to feel that nice, big cock inside me."

She tore open the package and pushed him onto his back. His cock had softened a bit, so she tickled his balls for a moment before placing the condom on the tip and unrolling it using her whole hand. With three downward strokes of her fist, he was hard again, and the condom was in place.

She swung her leg over his hips and mounted him. She gripped the headboard and lowered herself, inch by inch, swallowing Brad's hardness into her body. He groaned out loud. When her bottom reached his pelvis, she smiled.

"That's my big boy," she said.

Using the headboard for leverage, Tanya pushed her body up and down on his cock. Each time it speared her, she grunted softly. Brad stared up at her tits as they rocked back and forth in front of his face.

When he reached up to tweak her nipples, he pushed her torso back so that she was sitting up straight, riding his cock. She rocked her hips into his thrusts. She started to fall forward a bit, but he caught her by cupping her breasts.

"Easy there," he said with a smile.

It had been an awfully long time. Brad hadn't had sex since he broke up with his high school girlfriend a year and a half before. He forgot how warm it was inside a woman. He felt his breath catch in his throat when he sighed.

Tanya put her hands over Brad's, holding him tightly to her tits. She pushed her pelvis into his, arching her back to force her clit into his pubic bone.

"Oh," she sighed as she found her mark. She moved her hips in a circle, grinding against him.

Brad slowed his thrusts, knowing that he wouldn't be able to hang on long enough to satisfy her. He thought about work for a moment, but felt his anger rising. He didn't want to be angry while he was fucking Tanya.

Tanya shifted position, arching toward him this time. He felt a rush of heat, and he tried to hold back just a little...bit...longer.

He yelled long and loudly as he came, slamming his hips up and into her.


Tanya braced herself on the headboard once again, trying to hold herself down on him as long as possible. When he relaxed, she lifted herself off, holding the condom in place.

"Bathroom's down the hall," she said.

When he returned to her bed, she handed him another beer. They sat next to each other, almost touching, covered by the warm blankets.

"Were you thinking about staying the night?" she asked.

"I wasn't, but I am now," he said, taking a sip. "You don't have a TV in your room, huh? Whatever will we do?"

"Let's chat. We hardly know each other," she said.

"About what?"

"Well, you're a good-looking guy and an amazing kisser. How many girlfriends have you had? I mean, you must have some experience."

Brad pulled away from Tanya with a speed and a ferocity that almost knocked her off the bed.

"What's the matter?" she asked, alarmed. "Did you spill your beer?"

Brad didn't answer. He glared at her, his cheeks flushed dark red. He was breathing hard, like he couldn't catch his breath.

"Are you OK?" she asked. "Are you sick?"

He took a deep breath and said, "No, Tanya. I'm not. What did you mean by that?"

"By what? By asking if you're OK?" Tanya looked at him in disbelief.

"No. By when you said that I must have 'some experience.' What did you mean by that?"

"I was just making conversation. Why? What did you think I meant?" she asked. "I'm just trying to get to know you!"

"I think you meant that I suck in bed, and you're trying to figure out if I've never fucked a girl before or if I just don't know what I'm doing." He was shouting by the end of the sentence.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm just trying to get to know you!" Now she was shouting.

"I'm fuckin' sorry that I don't know how to make you come. Why don't you just go buy a fuckin' vibrator and leave me the fuck alone?" He stood up, looking for his clothes. He realized that he had left them in the living room, and he started to walk toward the door.

"Brad. Sit down. You're being unreasonable. C'mon. Don't blow this out of proportion."

"NO! I'm not being unreasonable. What I hear you saying is that you were dissatisfied when I tried to lick your goddam pussy and tonight when I fucked you, and you want to figure out why!"

"No, I'm not. I was just trying to get to know you. I think you're being a little paranoid here," she said. She was getting angrier, and she stood up, crossing her arms across her naked chest.

"Paranoid. Yeah. That's it. I'm paranoid."

He stomped out to the living room and started to dress. Tanya grabbed a robe from her closet and followed him.

"Brad. I'm sorry you feel this way. It wasn't my intention." She shook her head. "I think you should go."

"I'm going alright. Don't call me anymore, Tanya." He opened the front door and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.


The next six weeks were a blur of cleaning asshole kids' messes and drinking beer.

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