Muses Ch. 09

I usually don't see me when I sit down at the computer. I see the girls, or I'll see one of my friends, maybe a movie star or something but it's rare that I make an appearance in the text. Too cut down on confusion I'll refer to my text self as Sean Renaud for the rest of this cus otherwise this won't make sense. He normally calls me Sean but I'm editing this so he calls me Bossman again this is done for your clarity dear reader.

"Uh Bossman, where the fuck am I and why the fuck am I?" Just quick glance around and it was obvious he was on the sidewalk of a street but it was hard to identify his location with just those details. I mean there was grass and there were houses, nothing that really stood out in comparison to everything else. It was just a street.

"I'm not really sure actually." I responded to Sean straining for any details that would reveal his location a little more clearly. After a few minutes of looking around I got the details I was looking for. The street that Sean was standing on a was shaped like an hour glass with several grass playing fields in the middle of it. It looked like two streets and gods only knew how many accidents had been caused by someone unfamiliar with the area not particularly paying attention going up the down street or vice versa but each street was a one way only street. "Okay you're in Heritage. I know where you are. I don't really know why you are though."

"Thanks." Sean started walking down the street, well actually up he was heading North for what it was worth. At least if Storyland follows the same geographic rules as the real world. Sometimes they seem to make up their own rules or even that there is no rules until they come upon a reason for one. Karen turned the corner behind him. She was wearing a pair of corduroy pants that didn't really flatter her curve, they did a good job of clinging to her ass. She was wearing an oversized tee shirt. There was a man with her, an overweight white man wearing a pair of her golden hoop ear rings. Sean just cut me an angry glance.

"Hey I didn't invite them here." I responded. The man she was walking with was her husband, well Kitten's husband anyway and he wasn't supposed to show up in my stories. Not out of respect mind you, more out of bit of jealousy. Still I had no idea why the two of them were casually walking down the street.

Sean didn't know either but whatever it was that brought them there Karen didn't particularly want Sean and her husband to meet. Sean wasn't feeling cooperative though, he could have accepted the plea in her eyes and just pretended he didn't see them. He could have done what I wanted and knocked the fucker out, then slit his throat. But he decided to go with the one answer that I couldn't predict. "Hi, I'm Sean and you are?"

"Jack." The two men shook hands and started walking down the street. The two men were silent, it was like Jack knew instinctively who Sean was but there was nothing that he could do about it so he was just quietly going along with it. Sean was oddly quiet as he walked down the streets, he was probing for something, for some kind of weakness. I'm not sure what he was looking for.

"Holy shit." Sean whispered. Up a head maybe half a block on of the stone street lights was toppled over and an SUV was slammed into it nearly folded in half. The back seats were where the front seats belonged and the front seats had shattered through the windshield. There were two bodies, a man and a woman hanging half way out of the shattered glass covered in blood. "Oh man." Behind it was another car this one turned over on the sidewalk blocking the path. Judging by the smoke it had either just stopped burning or was about to ignite but there was no dependable way of telling which.

"What happened here?" Jack asked as he walked forward.

The thing was I didn't know what had happened. Usually I do, it turns out that one of the benefits of being complete in charge of a world is that you generally know what's going on but in this case I was utterly clueless. I wouldn't have been so bad if it was just Jack and Karen down there. I mean I love Karen but shit happens and some of it happens to her and Jack, well he can eat shit and die and I wouldn't complain the thing is I'm rather attached to Sean. "Bossman, I don't like this." I'm not sure it really would have done him any good to turn around and go back the way he came but he kept walking forward climbing over the car.

There dozens if not hundreds of cars piled up beyond that point. It was almost to horrific to have been real, but there it was. Tons of twisted metal, burning rubber and mangled flesh. "Guys you might want to get out of there." I whispered. If I could have just whisked them out of that place and sent them someplace nice but I couldn't. That's not always how it works, sometimes I have to just let it ride.

"Okay Bossman I don't like this." Karen said as she turned her eyes up to the sky to find it had turned blood red with a black sun hovering in it. Lazy black clouds floated ominously threatening to drop who knows what on the people below. "Can we go someplace nicer?"

"Who are you guys talking to?" Jack finally asked staring back and forth between his wife and Sean both of whom were standing back to back apparently testing the limits of whatever powers they had.

"I think I'm normal." Sean whispered. There was obviously a little cause for alarm at that.

"I'm normal too." Karen replied her hazel eyes scanning the twisted wreckages for any movement.

"Of course you're normal!" Jack shouted. "What are you guys talking about!" He was genuinely panicking. Not that there wasn't good cause for panic but he was talking to them and not to me which was weird. I mean I have characters that ignore me before but that's usually because they get off on being douche bags. Not because they are actually unaware of me. Jack seemed to be completely unaware of me.

"Bossman?" Karen asked.

"I'm here!" I shouted.

"I don't hear him, but maybe he's ignoring me. I mean the real me isn't his favorite person right now. Can you hear him Sean?"

"Actually I was about to mention that something is very very wrong. I can't hear him either and he's very protective of me." It's a fact. I never put him through anything worse than some minor heartache.

Then there was a rhythmic chanting. I couldn't understand the words clearly, I think because they weren't chanting in English. It might have been Latin, it certainly sounded Latin but I took Latin in high school and none of the words were familiar to me. "That's not good." Sean said as he turned in the direction of the voices. Things were definitely slipping from bad to worse.

The source of the voice was an army of men wearing red and black hooded robes and walking through the streets. They were dragging behind them men and women in chains. "What are we going to do?" Karen asked.

"I think it's safe to say that we're in this alone. Bossman either can't or won't help us out of this situation so we need to get out of here ourselves, and that starts with getting the fuck away from those guys!" Sean shouted turning around to run. "And since neither of us has any powers I think it's safe to say we can't stand and fight."

"Agreed." Karen said.

"What are you guys."

"We'll explain it later!" Karen shouted grabbing her husband by the wrist and starting to run towards the nearest house. Sean kicked down the door and ran inside. "You know what this is all too insane for me to bother explaining. Just trust me when I say this is bad love." Karen said and started helping Sean barricade the walls. "Bossman! I'd really like a clue here!"

The problem was I was still working on getting a clue. Fucking stream of consciousness just kept coming and when I've been reading up on occult styled writings that's not a good thing.

"If he was going to help us he'd be here by now. So first things first why are we here Karen? There is always a fucking reason, we just don't usually question it because we already know why he's doing what he's doing." Sean shouted starting to dig through the house hoping to find supplies. "Jack can you shoot?"

"I guess so."

"He can't fire a gun?!" Sean shouted. "He's fucking worthless!"

"Shut the fuck up! Bossman assumed he can't shoot so he can't shoot, maybe in real life he can shoot!" Karen shouted helping Sean dig through the closets. They were in luck, there was a shotgun, a handgun and a few boxes of ammo. "Why can't you just approve of my decisions!"

"Because it was a bad decision! The only reason you're not getting your wages garnished and your car repoed is because you're parents, Bossman and apparently some other new people are pitching in to help YOU! If you'd just listened to me!" Sean shouted chambering a round into the shotgun and tossing the nine millimeter to Karen.

"Wait I was the mistake?" Jack shouted.

"You're not a mistake you're doing the best you can!" Karen shouted back.

"But that's not good enough is it?" Jack replied. "I love you!"

"You know that this is the end of the world, I'm obviously not getting out of this one. I got no idea what it is that Bossman is so pissy about right now but he obviously isn't planning on letting us out of here. I'll be damned if I'm going to listen to you whine this entire time." Sean is always prone to bouts of violence but I admit I was shocked when he turned quickly and fired his shotgun directly at Jack's skull.

Funny thing about stories and dreams, just because something should work doesn't mean it will. At less than ten feet a shotgun blast should have taken Jack's head clean off his shoulders. Instead it snapped his head back like a good punch but nothing more. He should have been pissed off that he'd been shot but he was actually more concerned as to why he wasn't dead. "What happened?"

"Damned if I know." Sean replied sitting down and crossing his legs.

"You tried to fucking kill him!" Karen shouted running up beside Sean and placing the gun to the base of his skull. "You tried to fucking kill my husband!"

"If you're gonna kill me just do it. Shit it'll probably hurt less than looking at your wedding photos." Sean whispered.

"If you're just going to sit here and whine like a piece of shit then I'm going to kill you." Karen growled.

Outside the chanting had stopped, that was either a very good thing or a very bad thing and none of them were really sure what it meant. "You know what, fuck it and fuck you. I'm going to see what's going on outside." Sean pushed the wooden blinds aside, then closed them again. "I figured out what happened, least I think I know what happened." Sean said.

"What."

"He's drunk, or high, or both. You know how he gets when he writes drunk." Sean said shaking his head and sitting down on the couch.

"What makes you so sure that he's wasted." Karen asked.

"Just look out the window." Karen walked over the window where Sean had been standing and looked out to find that they were floating, presumably somewhere in the ocean. The Black Pearl was sailing past them and behind it a white whale was cresting the seas.

"Okay. He's drunk." Karen sighed and sat back down. "Well that's a good thing and a bad thing. I mean apparently he already forgot the death cult." She spun around then raised a brow. "And he forgot that Jack was with us, it's just me and you know."

"It is?" Sean looked up and then around realizing it was true. The barricades from the door had vanished as well as the weapons. "Goddamn it. I hate it when he's this fucked up, he can't remember shit so things just come and go. Just gotta hope he remembers us a shotgun before he remembers that there is an insane cult outside. You want some bad news?"

"Not really." Karen said looking around the house.

"I think I know who those guys were. Those were the guys from that one zombie game a few years back. The ones where you blow their heads off and they have that fucking alien inside that bites your head off." Sean commented.

"Well that's . . .I'm glad their gone and I'm glad we're in sunlight now." Karen commented looking back at Sean. "So how've you been."

"I'm okay. I hate sharing my name with him, since that means sometimes I get his villains at my door." He was referring to Sean Renaud Tepes, the grandson of Dracula and one of my favorite creations. It had been a while since I'd let him out of the box but he still had his fair share of enemies. "And you?"

"He pretty much hates me since I got married. Currently my mother-in-law is pimping me out. I'm about to fuck a bunch of cops to get out of a DUI. Course they are mostly sexy cops so I'm not too upset." Karen said with a smile.

"How's his Earth Day story coming along? Has he had any new ideas for that? I mean we are starting to get close, only three weeks now." Sean said.

It was true. Every single idea I'd come up with had ended up falling flat eventually. Which was more than a little frustrating by that point. I was starting consider just something really terribly simple. Maybe even a couple really simple stories, like maybe a girl who recycled to make her dildos. There had to be something that I had over looked that would make for a good story. The thing was nothing was working."

"He had a pretty good one with Nikki playing a mermaid that I thought was pretty cute. It probably wouldn't have won but it would have been a good story and he can't skip a contest." Karen explained pulling down part of the barricade and heading outside.

There wasn't much of interest outside, the house had formed its own floating island. "Great I can't leave. Not unless I want to drown. I don't want to spend all day here, so any ideas you have are more than welcome.."

"Just one actually." Sean said stepping out behind Karen and wrapping his arms around her. "I'm going to say this, and I'm only going to say this once. If you aren't paying attention well fuck you. Karen Akivasha Tennison Smith. I love you." Why that idiot couldn't come up with a decent lie is beyond me. I might not be the greatest liar ever but I was smarter than this. Least I thought I was. "I love you, I don't know for sure when I fell in love with you but I do. You're my reason. I wake up in the morning because I hope someday that you'll want to spend the day in my arms." Karen was about to say something but Sean silenced her. If I could have urged her back into action I would have. This certainly wasn't anything that I wanted her to hear. I mean its unlikely that Kitten will ever read these words but that wasn't a risk I was particularly interested in taking.

Sean spun her around in his arms so he could gaze into her eyes. "I might never have the courage to say these words to your face again. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. I know what your about to ask. Why did I let you marry someone else. Why didn't I fight for you every inch of the way? The only reason I can give is that I am an idiot. I had grown complacent and certain that you would always be there like the sunrises. I should have been there when you got married, I should have objected but I didn't. I didn't because I was a coward and I can't ever ask your forgiveness for that. I hope that you're marriage has brought you some happiness. The truth is that I hope I brings you all the happiness in the world."

Someone once told me that you don't say anything when you're drunk that you don't actually mean. You just don't actually mean to say the things that you say when your drunk. This was definitely a case in point of that lesson. I wish I had a way of silencing my Avatar. I would have given him a heart attack if I'd had the power. This wasn't the kind of thing that needed to be out there for people to read. For them to know who I really was and what I felt. Goddamn Sean was going to run his mouth whether I liked it or not.

"I pray that you get everything you want in life. I never told you, the real you, this and I never will. But the last time you needed money I was behind on my rent and rather than get myself caught up I paid for you. If I was sane I would have kept my money, kept my business running strong and let you suffer but I didn't." Tears formed in Sean's eyes mirroring my own as he spilled our secrets. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me but once you asked why. The answer is you. It's you. It's been you for a long time and will be you for a long time."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Karen asked.

"I know it sounds silly to you but I wanted you to love me." Sean said backing away from her. "If you love me I want you to love me because you love who I am. I don't want you to love me because of something I said. I want you to love me. I want you to think of me the way that I think of you." Sean responded biting down on his lips.

"And just how do you think of me?" Karen asked.

"I think of you as my reason. If you died I'm not really sure I'd get up the nest morning. I'm not sure there would be a point." Sean kissed her just beneath the ear then pushed her away from him. "I know I was your reason. I know I can't ever ask that of you again." Sean paused looking down at her. She looked so helpless lying on her back staring up at him. "So I won't. I let you get married without so much as a peep of protest. That's really the worst part of it. If you were calling me once a month and simply glowing about what a wonderful man your husband is and how you love him so much I'd be jealous but happy. I'd also be happy if you were just silent about him because you didn't want me to be jealous. Instead you call me and tell me how you're working twelve hours a day six days a week because he can't or won't get a job, how he's clingy and it's driving you nuts. I just got off the phone with you and you told me he's a real sweet heart and he's doing the best he can. That's really what pisses me off. You don't deserve the best he can do, you deserve the best." Sean turned and walked away from her.

"Hey stop telling her how I feel damnit!" I shouted.

"Sober enough that we can hear you now I see." Sean spat standing at the edge of the island. "Well as long as you're at it where are we now?"

"I honestly don't know. I'm guessing Davey Jones' Locker. My head hurts though and I've got places to be. DnD at noon you know." I said. "I'm not particularly comfortable with you being down there shedding all our secrets n shit. So your ride's here." As soon as I finished speaking a yacht pulled up to the house with a small army of bikini clad models giggling.

"Yeah Karen, you know he doesn't let me out often. Love you and I will always be there for you for whatever you need. So just call me and I'll be there. Until then though get your shit together." Sean got on the boat and sailed away.

"So I what he said is really how you feel about her." Karen asked sitting down.

"You know it is."

"Have you ever told her?"

"In those exact words? No. She knows I'm here for her."

Karen turned away from me. "Does she know why you didn't have anything to say about her getting married. Did complain even once about it?"

"You know I didn't."

"What is she supposed to read your fucking mind or some shit like that? You know sometimes you really are useless. Unless you've got some kind of story idea to run past me you can just leave me alone. How do I get back anyway?"

"Just go back inside, the bathroom should take you home, I think Nikki's place is through one of the closets. I don't' know what else is around though. Can I get you anything? A drink? A professional wrestler?" Karen didn't respond so I left. There isn't much point in trying to get her to cooperate when she's upset.