Music Man Pt. 08

"Cassie's Marie rang," Cheryl began. "She's worried stiff 'cos she can't get through on either phone."

"Ah," said Eleanor. "He turned them off after Cassie left, and he's not had a spare minute to switch them on again. In fact he's just connected the land line this minute.

"I don't follow," puzzled Cheryl. "He wasn't doing anything before--"

"Before I arrived!" Eleanor laughed. "I've got him going. I think Cassie will be pleased."

"I'm damn sure she will be!" agreed Cheryl. "You've been keeping house for him?"

"No, he's been keeping house with me!" Eleanor giggled.

"How? I mean--"

"Mother knows," Eleanor said, tapping the side of her nose. "I do know him very well, you know, from way back -- before he was born!"

Cheryl laughed.

"Tea!" said Ged, carrying a tray with a teapot, milk, sugar, three cups and saucers, side plates and biscuits. He had experimented at length and supported the tray on his right hand with a thumb hooked over one side and grasping it firmly on the other side with his left. He placed it on the coffee table and Eleanor unpacked it.

"That was clever," said Cheryl with admiration. "It's wonderful how you're coping."

"All mother's work," said Ged, laying an affectionate (right) hand on his mother's shoulder. "She's a real slave driver."

"Cassie's Marie is very worried," Cheryl said. "She tried to phone you."

"My fault," said Ged. "I've reconnected everything again now. "I'll phone her back."

"No Ged, sit down and entertain your guest, I'll phone and tell her you're fine. I don't want you to phone just yet -- I've not finished with your training!"

"But I want to tell her how--"

"You can tell her when I've finished with you." Her voice took on a pleading tone. "Please, Ged, trust me on this."

He slumped. "OK," he said. "You're clearly in charge. How long will this training take?"

"Another week or so," she said. "Please, Ged?"

Cheryl promised not to spoil the surprise, and he showed her what he'd done on the keyboard. She left with hope that the worst was over.

The following week, his mother pushed him further.

"I think it would do you good if you went jogging in the mornings before breakfast," she told him. "You need to get your stamina up, and your gym equipment will only do so much with only one hand. How about it?"

So began a new regime, and it brought it home to him how unfit he was. By the end of the week, he was able to run further and for longer.

As if that were not enough, she now engaged him in cookery. She had bought an array of kitchen tools for people with disabled hands, and together they worked out how he could master them. He remembered how he used to do his fair share of meal preparation, and began to enjoy his return to it.

His days were now so full he had no time to ponder over his progress, and with the intensity of his activity came optimism and hope.

At the end of the third week, she called him to the living room. He wondered what new torture she had devised. She saw his face and laughed.

"I think you've got the hang of things now," she said. "So I'll be leaving early next week. I think you're ready to see Cassie again, don't you? You'll have a lot to tell her."

"I'll phone her," he suggested. "It's been a long time. I thought she'd be back home by now."

"Can I make a suggestion?" his mother asked.

"Of course, you're the one who's pulled me out of that hole I was living in."

"Go down there to her parents' place. They haven't seen you for a long time and even then it was not pleasant. Surprise her."

"I can't just drop in on them without warning, Mum."

"Let me sort it out. How about you go by train? You're still not really fit enough to drive all that way. I can phone Cassie's mother."

The idea appealed to Ged. He'd 'written' two songs to and about Cassie, expressing his love and gratitude for all she did, using the computer. He thought he could put them together using the keyboard to provide the backing, the recording suite and an MP3 player to store the whole thing.

"OK," he said. "I'll leave it to you."

He worked on the songs the whole weekend, and his mother smiled to herself as she heard him singing away in the music room.

---

"Mairead? He's gone for it. I suggested Tuesday as you asked and he seems fine with that."

"Ellie, you're a miracle worker, so you are. If you get the train time, Joe will pick him up at the station. Dollar is gong to get her out of the house."

---

Ged booked his first class train tickets that day, and his mother passed on the message. She relieved him of all his duties so he could finish his songs, and she was given a preview which reduced her to tears, so moving were the words and so wistful the music.

On Monday, she hugged and kissed him, and went back home, his thanks ringing in her ears, and a satisfied, nay, smug smile on her face.

----

Chapter Forty Seven

It was on the train that he began to have mixed feelings about the trip. He remembered his last meeting with Cassie at the house, and for the life of him he could not remember exactly what she had said to him when she left three weeks before. He thought she said she needed a break; he hoped so. Then he remembered her previous response to his effective proposal of making their relationship permanent, and her reluctance to commit.

Then he realised that it was his mother and Cassie's that had arranged this between them and he kicked himself for not taking charge and phoning Cassie. Now he felt he had to go along with their plan, and trust them. After all, he thought, his mother had turned him round. Eventually he mentally shrugged: it was too late to change anything now.

He emerged from the station, rucksack on his back and pulling his suitcase behind him. It had been a rite of passage dealing with his baggage on the train with one effective hand. He now made for the taxi rank, with its row of waiting cabs.

"Ged!"

The shout came from the car park, and turning he saw Joe, Cassie's father, waving at him with a wide smile on his face. He duly turned and made for Joe's car.

Joe held out his hand for a handshake, and Ged was non-plussed. This was the first person who had held out a hand for a handshake. After the momentary hesitation he offered his left, and shook backhand. Joe's face creased with compassion and a touch of anger.

"Sorry Ged," he said. "It really comes home when you see what those bastards did."

"Thanks, Joe. There's little pain now, and I'm learning to live with it."

They were driving to the house when Joe brought the matter that had festered in his mind for months.

"I don't know how to thank you for what you did for us, You saved our lives, and I don't know how we can ever repay you."

Ged had been ready for this: he knew Joe's pride.

"Joe, there are two things you should know about that. One, you have already given me more than I'll ever have in the bank: you've brought Cassie into the world. Two, when we get to the house I'll show you something on my laptop."

"Don't know about that, she's led you a merry dance, the silly girl. Here we are. Cassie isn't here, we thought we'd settle you in first and then get Dollar to bring her over."

He pulled the car onto the drive and took Ged's bags ahead into the house. There were Mairead and Marie waiting for Ged on the step.

Mairead hugged him first. "At last, Ged! Welcome. We've waited to see you too long."

Marie followed, hugging him close, making sure he felt every nuance of her newly eighteen year old body. "Hi, Ged, again! I'm so excited! It's going to be ever so romantic!"

He said nothing, but smiled. Then the two females wanted to see his hands and exclaimed at the damage, and hugged him again.

"Hey," he said, feeling quite overcome. "If I get this treatment I'll get them back to do in the other hand!"

Then disengaging, he turned to Joe, "Joe, can you go into my rucksack and get my laptop out?"

The older man did as requested, and they set it up on the wi-fi.

"Now, Joe, these are my accounts. This is the instant access cash savings."

The two women craned over Joe's shoulder, and there was a collective gasp when they saw the balance.

"And this is the account all my royalties go into."

Another gasp. "There are other accounts and stocks and shares investments of some more millions. I'm showing you so you can see that paying off your accounts barely made a dent in my resources. Look, I bought an eight bedroom house for myself with ready cash!

"Please let go of any worries about paying me back. You can see I don't need any more money, but it keeps flowing in. Every time somewhere in the world someone sings one of my songs, the cash register chings. That's every day. In any case you have always been family to me.

"I would also like to sub Marie at university -- pay off her tuition and give her an allowance. She's the real heroine here: it took a lot to come to me for help."

There was silence. He saw their awe-struck faces and laughed. "I'll take that as a 'yes', then."

"Now to business," he said, hurriedly changing the subject. "Has your music player got a USB port?"

It had. He took the pen drive from his pocket and fitted it and switched on the appliance.

"This is for Cassie when she gets here. You seem to be in charge, Mairead, how are you going to organise this?"

"We'll bring her in here and then leave you two alone, will that do?"

"Very nicely."

"You have the remote for the music?" Marie asked. He had.

"I'll phone Dollar," Mairead said.

"You're a lot better?" asked Marie.

"Yes, thanks to my mother. I was pretty low when Cassie left."

"I'm not surprised," said Mairead. "I don't know how you coped."

"To tell the truth I didn't. My mother got me out of the pit I was in. She just gave me so much to do I hadn't time to be sad, and she showed me that there was plenty I could do. She burst in suddenly one day, and I was so amazed I just did what she told me. That reminds me, I have a letter for Cassie." He reached into his jacket and brought it out.

"But you're here?" said Marie puzzled.

"It's hand written, Marie," he said gently, and he waited.

Then she saw the point. "You wrote it with your left hand! So romantic!" and she looked at him dreamy eyed. He laughed loudly, and so did everyone else. She grinned. Then he sobered up.

"I don't think I laughed at all while Cassie was looking after me. She had a hard time, a very hard time. I really put her through it."

"Well, you're here now, and I'm sure she'll forget all about that," Mairead said, patting his shoulder. "Oh, there's the car arriving. Everybody out! Disappear!"

Ged was left alone. It was not excitement he felt, it was fear. So many times they had parted only to get their reunification wrong and end it in a shouting match.

He heard the front door opening and Mairead's voice.

"Hello Dollar. Oh Cassie, there's a visitor for you."

Then her voice. The sound of it hit like a hammer and his breathing quickened.

"Who Mum?"

"In there. Dollar, let's go and make some tea for them."

The door opened and there she stood, so beautiful he ached. She looked at him and she gaped.

"Ged? What are you doing here?"

He said nothing but stood and handed her the letter. She gave him a puzzled look and opened the envelope, dropped it on the coffee table and unfolded the letter.

The writing was not pretty: it resembled the writing of a very young child. She glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. He nodded, and she began to read.

My Dearest Cassie

I shudder with disgust when I think of how I abused you over those last weeks. All you did for me with never a thank-you from me, and never a cross word from you.

I am so sorry for being selfish and wrapped up in my own pain while ignoring yours. I understand now why you would not commit to me when I asked you before. You must have sensed how bad it would get -- how thoughtless I would be, and how eventually it would be too much for you.

I am coming to see you to tell you how much I love you, how undeserving of you I am. I'm humbly begging you to come home. I promise things have changed.

When I get to see you I have something to show you.

I love you Cassie, please come home, this time for good.

Ged.

PS I wrote this with my left hand and it took me two hours. I'm getting better at it; I practise my writing for an hour a day. Listen.

She looked up as he pressed the remote and his song of love and appreciation filled the room. Her look of surprise turned into one of amazement, as she took in first the fact that the accompaniment was so full, and that he was singing, then listened to the words. He had lost none of his poetic ability nor his skill in setting the words to music.

She knew now that something had changed radically since she left him. Then the second song was one of regret and loneliness and sounded as if he was accompanying it on the guitar until she realised it was the guitar setting on his keyboard.

When it finished, all he said was, "So sorry," and stood penitently before her.

Her eyes filled with tears and she moved to him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him vigorously all over his face, then open mouthed on his lips pushing her tongue into his mouth. He felt her tears.

She laid her head on his chest.

"No," she said. "It's me who's sorry. It's me who couldn't get you better, and it's me who ran away and wouldn't phone you even after I knew you had reconnected them."

"You worked so hard, my love." he said. "You waited on me, you put up with my constant silence and sullenness. You couldn't have done more."

"It wasn't enough."

"It was. Not your fault -- mine. You did all you could do."

"So was it me leaving?"

"No. A few days after you left, my mother arrived. I think you had something to do with that!" He gazed at her and she blushed.

"Ged, I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't leave you all alone, with Gwen being away, but I wanted you to be alone for a little while. I hoped that would wake you up."

"Darling, it was the best thing you could have done. As a new arrival she could use a different approach. She rushed me off my feet. She asked me to bring in her bag, then to do the washing up while she dried, then strip my bed. She kept out of the way until I'd finished. After that she had one of her 'little chats'.

"She told me how bad it had been when Dad died, and how even now she had to strive to do ordinary things. Somehow once she'd got me going, she just got me to do more and more."

"But your right ha--"

"I've had to learn that it has only a supporting rôle to help my left. Once I accepted that, I found ways of doing things. My left is still weak, but I'm working on that!"

She looked up into his eyes, reading him. "You are happier now than you were."

"That wouldn't be difficult," he said with a wry laugh.

"I love it that you're laughing again," and she resumed her kissing.

"The songs?" she asked when she came up for air.

"Multi-tracking. Accompaniment first then the melody, finally my voice."

"I never thought you'd go near music again. I'm so happy, dear lovely Ged." She nuzzled his neck with her nose. "I wish now I'd come back home earlier."

"Why? We're together now."

"If we were back home, I would be dragging you to bed right now. As it is..."

"That's twice you've said it, you know." His gaze was intense.

"What?" She was casting about, wondering where he was going with this.

" 'Home'. You said 'home'. Does this mean...?" He stopped, hoping to lead her on.

She smiled. "You remember what you asked of me when you got your left hand back?"

"Yes," he said, knowing now she was on the right track. "You turned me down."

"Not exactly, but I said there was something stopping me. I don't feel that any more."

"So you'll--"

"No, I won't." She took a breath. "You have to ask me the right question. Go on, but get it right." Her eyes were shining and challenging, and her smile was wide.

Ged thought for a moment, was she asking what he thought she was asking? He decided she was getting away with it too easily. He needed to correct things a little.

"The question I want to ask..." he paused.

"Yes?" she asked eagerly.

"That question -- the one I asked before the tour..." another pause.

"Yes, yes?" she was jigging up and down.

"You said 'yes' then as well," he said.

Her grin got wider still. "So?"

"I never took that question back," he said. He looked at her seriously and she got the message.

She stopped grinning and looked guilty. Nothing said.

"I said I never took it back, my love; I never have," he repeated. He stopped again, trying to repress a smile.

She understood. "It was me. I went and married someone else."

He nodded. And waited.

Cassie stood before him, tables turned, undecided what to do. Then she realised.

She knelt before him, both knees.

NO! She did not unzip his pants. Get a grip! Talking of getting a grip, she took his hands in hers.

"Gerald Smith, you are my only true love, and I let you down. I betrayed your love and failed you. I don't deserve anything from you but I need you. Please, will you not just live with me. Will you marry me?"

He pulled her to her feet. "You've done enough for me and vastly more than I deserve. Yes, let's get married as we always should have done. Let's have lots of children."

"Yes, oh yes," she said eagerly looking into his eyes. "We probably will, since I'm off the pill now and have been for a while!"

"One thing though," he growled.

"What is it?" she asked, briefly worried.

"We are not calling our kids stupid names, like some of those other 'entertainers' do!"

"You mean we can't call them after the place where they were conceived?"

"No!"

"Aw! Or what the weather was like?"

"Definitely not -- anyway they'd all be called 'variable cloud', or 'rain', or 'drizzle'. You wouldn't call your child 'drizzle' would you?"

"Well perhaps not," she giggled and gazed up into his eyes. "I love you so much."

"I know. No one else would have stayed with me as long as you did over those long weeks. No one else would have come running to the hospital to save me."

"Kiss me," she said, reaching up.

"OK."

It was a long and intensive kiss, and he felt her tears, and pulled away, worried.

"All those weeks," she said plaintively, "I was longing for your lovely kisses, and they'd gone. You were there, but in a way you'd left me. It hurt so much, Ged."

"I'm sorry," he said, "but you stuck by me when there was nothing in it for you at all."

"You know what kept me going?" she asked. looking up into his eyes. "I made that first promise and broke it and it caused us to part. Now we were together again, and I was damned if I was going to cause another break. I would stick with it this time. But then..."

"Then?"

"I left you and ran home."

"Cassie, you were exhausted, and getting no relief. Don't start beating yourself up about that as well. In fact stop beating yourself up about any of it. We... Are... Together... Now, and always will be."

"Yes, my love, if you say so."

They called in the family and announced their engagement, and the family were delighted, nay ecstatic. They phoned Ged's mother and she rejoiced with them and, it seemed, was already on her way to join them for Christmas.

They did get out the Cava and celebrate with bubbly. The only complaint came from Marie who asserted that she'd rather hoped she'd have taken Cassie's place. Everyone laughed including Marie, though Ged, Cassie and she knew it had an element of truth about it.

Keeping the positive atmosphere after so much angst, the pair went to bed together that night rather the worse for drink. With some falling about and giggling they undressed each other, made it obvious they admired each other au naturel, fell untidily into bed together and began to make love. It was while they were caressing each other in preparation, that they both fell asleep.