My Alter Ego...

Looking around me, I see my black garter-belt, hose and heels were on a chair in my bedroom left there intentionally by me the night before. I quickly got out of bed but could not control my legs thinking of what was going though my mind.

I crawled over them, sat in the chair and tried to control my hand from reaching between my legs but I failed, I tried not to sit still trying so hard not to get up… but I did …I found myself standing before the chair in my bedroom looking at the clothes I left the night before It was like I was on the outside looking through a window at a pathetic creature unable to control her movements. I felt as though I was a marionette and something from the deepest recess of my mind was pulling my strings.

I saw myself reaching for my black silk garter belt and then felt the silk encircle my waist as I drew it around me. Then I sat down and felt the black silk hose sliding up my leg. Then I saw my hands pickup my heels and slide them on my silk stocking feet. I saw myself stand up and reach for the long black scarf and drape it over my neck.

I felt the electric tingle in my nipples as the silk brushed across them and felt the gasp of air as it entered my mouth and down my windpipe. My nipples were getting hotter and hotter as I told myself that I would stand this time. I felt if I remained standing I could fight off the beast I looked into the mirror determined to fight the beast within me.

I stood there in high heels, hose, garter belt; long black silk scarf draped over my neck and just stared at her in complete defiance. I would not let the beast win; I would not let it out. I would control it. I stared deeply into the mirror focusing on my eyes for the longest time. Then I suddenly noticed that I had been absentmindedly stroking the scarf for a long time. I then watched my one hand start to play with my nipple through the silk and watched it as though it had a mind of its own.

Yet as I focused on that hand and the shimmering material I began to feel my other hand lightly stroking my labia and I let my eyes drop from my breast to my loins and notice how my hand was teasing me and trying to draw me down to my knees. It was as though the beast had come alive and was laughing at me as though I was a pathetic creature who thought I could I could resist its power. It was a though it had decided to teach me a lesson on who controlled whom.

Then while looked at myself in the mirror I saw my knees bend and lower my body to the black satin that covered the floor. I then knelt there before the mirror and once again saw myself as a cum slut kneeling in a room filled with people working my fingers into my sopping wet cunt. I saw everyone laughing and heard their comments and their screams for me to fuck myself and cum.

It felt like an eternity but in reality was only a few moments until my entire mind and body exploded over and over again, stroking the silk scarf over my neck trying so hard not to take that last step but as I touched my nipple through the black silk with one hand… the other slithered down my belly over my mons and into my gash

I was so hot and my cunt was sopping wet. I watched my hand reach into the drawer of the dresser along side of me and extract the largest dildo in it. Tears came to my eyes as I pleaded with the beast not to make me do this, yet I knew that my pleas only excited the dark demented creature and provided a source of erotic amusement for it.

I lifted myself up on my toes in a squatting position and began to lower my sopping wet cunt over it. I felt its massive head forcing my pussy to open. My whole body shivered when I felt and saw the head of this black monster disappear up into my very center. Then I felt it gradually pumping in and out of me. First in short strokes that continued on and went deeper and deeper into me. Then the short strokes became longer and faster until I could feel it almost against my womb… Pumping and pumping longer and faster as my hands twisted my nipples and my fingers worked my clitoris.

It was then that I looked back in the mirror and focused on my eyes, but they were not my eyes they were the eyes of another creature. A dark foreboding creature filled with lust and pain. A creature that had completely taken me over without any remorse for its action. As soon as I realized this, my orgasm exploded and completely enveloped me. At that moment there was nothing else only my humiliating orgasm consuming me.

I leaned back on the black satin that now covers the area in front of the mirror and went to a sitting position with my legs spread wide so that I could see what I had become. I saw the black cock obscenely sticking half way out of my sopping pussy and the large puddle of nectar on the black satin. I eased the creature out of me and for some reason that I could not understand I leaned over the puddle and began licking the juice like a dog.

When I finished licking the satin clean I took my fingers and wiped my pussy then held them up to my mouth and began to clean suck on them and repeat the process until there was nothing left on my pussy. Finally I collapsed in a heap of sweat and shame with juice still oozing from my engorged cunt. It was then that I could almost hear someone with a rough voice say, " SLUT, this is only the beginning

I laid there, my whole body was just quivering and shaking. I have never felt an orgasm like that before. It was the most fantastic feeling in the world, thinking of being locked in a small cage in a cold cellar watching myself in a mirror. Repeating my mantra "I am a toy, a slut, a cunt, a fuck toy, a whore. I belong in a cage like the slut bitch dog that I am".

My potential, my destiny is to be displayed at private parties, where I am put on a rack and my body is being used by many guests, becoming a dirty fuck pig. Someone needs to control the beast. The beast who wants me to be a whore, wearing revealing latex clothes in public and be humiliated and punished for my arrogance, for my teasing, needing the pleasure and the pain which is offered to me.

When it was all over I finally, raised my head again and all that was there was a sweating pathetic looking slut. I was alone. Everyone else was one.

My husband has no idea about this, but he knows I sometimes need time to be alone, time to travel, to shop, but perhaps it is true he gives me too much freedom, he should be much more firm with me, punish me especially if he only knew what kind of hidden desires I have, shameless desires and lust I might not be able to control

Some, mostly rather ordinary people who want to get in my panties, call me an arrogant bitch or even in their terminology a cock teaser, but to me this are JUST working class guys who do not really interest me, I feel contempt for them, are soo boring, having nothing to say, but in a way they are right I am a first class tease.

Of course I ignore their obscenities, when they glance in my direction, there unwanted attention, I feel revulsion, contempt for them, these are just little men. At the same time when they glance at me they give me a warm feeling. I am thinking constantly thinking about sex and feel like a ripe fruit ready to be plucked, imagining what it would be to wear a collar and being fucked by men like that.

But I give them my haughty and icy bitch look, always trying to be reserved and polite to such men who are of course very superficial. This are superficial remarks and a statements are of course all a matter of perception.

During the last two years I have looked back at my life, thinking about what excites me, the men and women in my life in order to understand myself better, although my wild dreams scare me, but they give me also a sense of freedom, a feeling of wickedness.

I see myself as a intelligent and classy women and I cannot believe how my cravings have been draining me, in part daily I am imagining myself been taken by such a evil man, dragged, screaming, kicking, protesting, begging, used by these men, in ways that they could only use me, they put me on the rack and they play me like a instrument, but only for their own enjoyment.

I realize such men recognize me, my eyes full of need, looking through my arrogance when I walk though a strange city, the way I look at men. Such men understand me better then I know myself, they know how hot and wet I get, the warm delicious excitement I feel between my legs and the tips of my breasts, what I need, what I want.

They know I fantasize about being owned, when my Master calls, his fuck toy will come to him and his friends, a toy who masturbates for them and opens her legs immediately, does whatever he says until I am dismissed.

I am being forced into sexual slavery and humiliated, to be punished, humiliated, dehumanized and degraded brutally for my arrogance in public as a sex slut, becoming a shameless slut, a sex addict, fucking and sucking everyone who wants me to service him, behaving like a total whore. The scary part is, I am afraid I will enjoy it, not the pain, but the fear, and most of all the waves of pleasures of being used.

Someone else will be in charge of all my actions, he has the ability to force me to his will, my arrogance will be broken, learning to do as I am told. He will turn into a perfectly obedient fuck toy. I will learn that I am nothing but a prime piece of fuck meat to be used and abused in whatever harsh, perverted, unusual way my Master sees fit, he enjoys to force beautiful but spoiled women, to take what is not offered. I will learn to abandon my freedom, my pride, my arrogant behavior and defiance.

I cannot explain the emotions I am fighting and the incredible lust what fills my pretty head, the idea that they can do with me what they want and I have to accept it is incredible erotic, my pictures will be put in a brochure of exquisite women who are available for a liaisons, I become a toy for the afternoon whenever they want and whatever they want to do with me, it's the thrill that really turns me on, it is a sick side of me, I didn't know existed, to be used by a perverted individual.

The sensations I feel, the heat building between my tights, it pushes me daily to the edge when I am alone, until I finger-fuck myself to orgasms, the voices I hear telling me roughly what to do, I am not able to control myself. Writing this makes me excited, no one can see me how I open my blouse and how it makes me squeeze my breasts, feeling and twisting my hard nipples, I feel the pleasure in my wet pussy, feeling my clitoris swell. I move my fingers downward I part my thighs, sliding my finger down. I love to caress myself, increasing the burning desire, pushing myself to the edge, my fingers running madly across my clit, my eyes tightly closed and I tremble slightly from the dark thoughts I have.

I agree this is of a very depraved nature, I am really disgusted with myself for having these feelings, I feel guilty, sometimes I wished someone would punish and humiliate me in public. These feelings are centered about the experiences with different men in my life, men who have influenced me.

Later I pose in front of the mirror of our bedroom, while the music from 9,5 weeks is playing loud through my bedroom, I am standing on my 6 inch high heels, wearing black silk stocking, black silk fishnet stocking, thong, black silk garters, with my legs spread and slowly I can't resist it but let my silk morning robe slide to the floor, I reach for a black charmeuse scarf and drape it over my neck. I feel the electric tingle in my nipple as the silk brushes.

As I look at myself in the mirror and push my hips forward, thinking about how turned on our two gardeners would be if they could see me now, my hand starts to play with my nipple through the silk, my breasts move on the sound, it is so erotic, my hips moving in and out and from side to side, it is a sexual dance, raising my arms in the air offering my treasures, increasing the erotic dance. I see a slute but high class whore in the mirror who is shaking her tits, I push my tits up, squeezing them, pinching my nipples, always very slowly, I am stroking my labia, teasing, thinking about how turned on our two gardeners would be if they saw me like that.

I cannot help it but I am already so wet, I feel sensations, the heat is building between my tights, like always it pushes me to the edge, until I finger-fuck myself to orgasms, the voices I hear telling me roughly what to do, dominating me, calling me dirty names, I am not able to control myself looking at myself like that.

No one can see me how it makes me squeeze my breasts, feeling and twisting my hard nipples, I feel the pleasure in my pussy, feeling my clitoris swell. I move my fingers downward I part my thighs, sliding my finger down. I love to caress myself, increasing the burning desire, pushing myself to the edge, my fingers running madly across my clit, my eyes tightly closed and I tremble slightly from the dark thoughts I have.

I cannot help it, I am wet and start touching myself and know my black vibrator which will drive me insane with lust, wishing for a big thick cock for my mouth. I am standing in front of the mirror first I start to lick my fingers and touch my neck, then my big tits, it's exciting, I love to start to play with my boobs, I take some ice cubes, they swell and my nipples get very hard.

I start to think about my nasty and kinky sex dreams, about being taken to a cheap strip club, to be humiliated, degraded in public both physical and verbal to be completely helpless in a room full of very common men, older big men, construction workers, truck drivers or rough harbor workers.

I have always wanted to strip in a room full of common guys, really to strut my stuff, but I am always afraid that I would compromise myself. I am standing in front of them on my high heels like a dirty slut, like a whore while my Master is watching how his whore behaves.

They turn on the disco lights and loud music is played, I look straight in their eyes, giving them my sexiest smile, trying to hold down my revulsion and I am afraid, very much afraid. But I am also exited, it turns me on when they insult me, I feel their eyes roaming over my body, its making me feel more sensual than ever, being exhibited like this, I know what will happen, they are nasty, real nasty, calling me all kind of names, they make comments over my short skirt, my legs, my breasts, I try to smile as the men shout and whistle, but I am helpless.

I am standing in front of them, loud music is starting to play, I know its my time, my time I have been waiting for. I do as I am ordered to do, my body is moving on the sound of the music, my waist and my hips are moving in and out, downward and side to side, its provocative. I am dancing wildly, exhibiting, I feel the material rub against my breasts, my nipples feel so hot, I am rubbing my hands over my tits to please myself and to tease the men, shaking my pussy and my ass on the rhythm of the beat, my nipples standing out hard and ready, ready to be twisted and squeezed.

YEEEESSS, I cannot control my desire, start stripping my clothes, I start to open slowly my expensive silk blouse, I remove my blouse. I slowly unzipping my short skirt, sliding it them down my nice tall legs. I am standing there in front of them, on my high heels with my legs spread apart, wearing only a black, very tight bra pushing my breasts up, a g-string and black garters.

I feel all there eyes on me, how they look at my big tits, I feel my hard nipples and how wet I am. Like I am told to play with my tits, and I do start to play with myself, rub myself all over, touching my breasts and between my legs, like I do in the morning when I am thinking about men like this. I can hardly think straight. I look the men into their eyes as I unhook my bra and I begin to remove my g-string, exposing my pussy to them. It feels so sexual displaying myself in front of them. The loud music is driving me crazy, I do everything they tell me, this is pure lust, going in and out, later I am exhausted, I kneel to sit with my knees on the cold concrete floor.

Different men are approaching me and are standing around me. They are talking about me. Someone who I have never seen grabs my breast roughly squeezing is making me scream, while they laugh, he starts to pinch my nipples, telling me I know what to do. I see his expose cock, slapping it in my face. I open my lips and use my tongue. He grabs my head and started to push it deep in my mouth, starting to move his hips, fucking my face roughly. Calling me a slut, telling me to look at him, making me swallow his load. Someone else replaces him as they continue my degradation. They are slapping me as I try to get away, but I am grabbed roughly as they spread my legs and one of them pushes his cock in my wet pussy while a second cock is pushed between my lips, I do what he wants sucking his cock, doing what I do best..

Later I slowly start to move and turn my body while I look at myself, even if I do not want to, I cannot control myself, I feel like such a slut. I love to caress myself, touch and feel while I look at myself and let go, thinking about my fantasies. I cannot help myself but I cannot resist it, unable to stop, I squeeze and twist my nipples, I got to put my hand on my steaming pussy, got to finger myself, I close my eyes, finger my pussy, my whole body is shivering when I feel the massive head of the dildo disappear up into my very center, pussy is throbbing, I love the feeling between my legs, deeper and deeper into me. I twist my nipples and my fingers working and squeezing my clitoris.

I look back in the mirror, they are not my eyes, they are the eyes of another creature that has completely taken over without any remorse as my orgasm explodes and completely envelopes me, consuming me completely.

But do not misunderstand me if you would see me in London, getting out of a Limo at the Dorchester Hotel or having a late dinner at Blakes, or you would see me drinking tea at the Ritz in Paris, or perhaps at the Pierre in New York, you would have no idea, mostly I am very cool and reserved, looking very elegant, a women of depth and sophistication, living my high style life.