My Autography Ch. 01

CHAPTER 1

My name is Nadia and now I am 38 years old. I was born in an upper middle class household of Lahore, Pakistan. My father, may he rest in peace, was an Air Force officer and my mother was a housewife. Both of them were extremely beautiful in their own right and did have an excellent personality and an excellent aesthetic sense. It was reflected both in their dress, the décor of our house and the classy parties they threw. I have two brothers, both younger to me and one sister, who is elder to me. The frequent postings and movement of my father from one corner, of my country, to another did not do any good to my academics but all my other siblings did well. It, however, gave me a good exposure to elitist environments, prevalent in the forces.

As far as I remember, my parents, here I would call them M and S here, were very unorthodox types. They were married after a turbulent love affair and they were very open in the expression of love to each other. Many times, we siblings, saw them embracing and kissing each other. My earliest memories tell me that our house, regardless of the station of posting of my father, was always a hotbed of social activity. My parents had lot of friends and they all were frequent visitors to our place. Lots of parties and late night sittings, to which we were no part, were common in our house. Then we also learnt that both of my parents were drinkers and although we were not allowed to do so, they never tried to hide this from their children. They both were very good parents and did bring us all the care and love. They groomed us and taught us to be like them. I am very grateful to them for all they did to make me what I am now.

I remember, when I first had the menstrual bleeding, my mother took time to make me understand the facts of life. She continued these lessons as I grew up. She told me about sex, very openly and told me to enjoy it to the fullest. She was also very objective as far as the dos and don'ts were considered and the crux of these lessons was, "not to be embarrassed of your sexuality and enjoy it to the fullest". At the same time she told me that in our society, this is not a commonly shared belief and one should never get into a situation that brings bad name to oneself, and more importantly, the family. When I started developing breasts, she was quick in telling me to take care of them. My elder sister, Najia, who was three years my senior, also passed her knowledge to me readily. She was definitely more advanced than me in knowledge.

It was during these days, when I was growing up, I came to realize about the beauty of my mother. She had large breasts and well shaped behind. Rest of her was trim and tall. In those budding years, I and my sister used to envy her. We also realized that our mother was not very interested in hiding these traits from others while she was at home and even during the frequently thrown parties, she never tried to subdue her assets. Our father was always very appreciative of her looks and dresses.

My father, may he rest in peace, was a high flying officer, in every sense of the expression. He was smart, both physically and mentally. He was a very loving person and took all possible measures to give us what we wanted. He was not the type of person to discriminate his kids on the basis of gender, but we sisters were his favorites. During my budding years, I realized that he had distanced himself a bit from me and my sister. When we used to quiz him as to why this was happening, his answer was always a smile and denial. He used to say that when the time will come we would understand. Mother explained to us that our growing sexuality was the factor and since we were doing well in this department, our father was distancing himself from us. She told us that it was not that he did not love us anymore, but it was because first-blood relatives were supposed to keep some physical distance between themselves. She also mentioned that sexuality is a phenomenon that is liked by all and these social and religious bindings are there everywhere.

As me and my sister grew up, we were told firmly by our mother, that in the event of a party at the house, we should not try to peek around or get comfy with the guests. She told us that at the right time, we will be told what we needed to know. Although, this advice, was followed by both me and my sisters in letter and spirit but we use to listen lots of laughter, clinking of glasses and occasional shrieks from the female guests. Both of us used to wonder a lot about it but never tried to transgress the advice given by our mom.

Our younger brothers, Nasir and Nadeem, were still kids who were too gung ho to bother about anything other than their favorite pastime that was sports. They were both athletic and tall. Our father was a bit stricter towards them and particularly when it came to their studies.

When my sister was about to turn 18, mom took her to shopping and when they came back, my sister was a bit lost. When I asked, I was snowballed casually. I noticed that she was acting a bit strange and when the day of birth drew nearer, she was getting more wound up. When I confronted her a bit more solidly, she told me to wait till I myself turn 18. On her birthday, there was a huge party thrown and unlike other parties, where kids were not a party, this one did include all us siblings and our friends from the base. When my sister cut the cake, she chose to feed the first cut to our father. After the cake and food, the party again was turned into an all-adult affair and all those younger, me included, were shooed away. The party, however, did not last long and soon it became a very quiet house. Najia did not join me that night and I wondered where she has gone. I slept fitfully that night.

I woke up very late and when I went downstairs to the dining room, I found all my family sitting there barring Najia and dad. When I asked mom, she told me that dad and Najia have gone on a trip to Muree, a hill station, and it was a gift from the side of dad on her turning to 18. After the breakfast, my mom, took me aside and told me that she knew that I was confused and perplexed. I was told that I should not worry and it was all something good that will be known to me in due course of time. She also told me to keep my mouth closed, if I observed something changed and different, and not to discuss anything with the younger brothers and also no one from outside the family. This little lecture made me more confused and curious. I anxiously waited for the return of my sis and dad.

They returned after three days and both of them did act differently. No longer was my father distancing himself from her and I was starting to feel jealous with my own sister. The more warmer their relationship became, more colder I became towards them. Conversely, her behavior towards me became more loving. She took my coolness very maturely and never got agitated when I did something childish. She became more like my mother, both in behavior and appearance.

Immediately after their return, she was given a separate bedroom and this infuriated me a lot. When I confronted my mother with this, she told me that it was just to give Najia more living space. Najia's room was not an out of bound place for me but she, at times, did guard her privacy rather severely. Her room now had more luxuries and her wardrobe multiplied each passing day. Dad showered her with gifts and sometimes her gifts were outmatching those given to my mom. Najia, now, was a partner to both mom and dad in most of the activities less the parties. She, however, threw her own parties, inviting her friends to them. I noticed that her parties were also similar to those thrown by mom and dad except for the age group.

Najia's closeness to our father took me very close to my mom. I noticed that mom's social activities are on the increase and she was spending more time out. She was also acting a bit different. We spent long hours chatting with each other. She told me about the love affair of her with dad and was very open with it. She told me that they were neighbors and their affair started when dad joined Air Force. She told me that she lost her virginity to dad and after that there was no turning back. She also mentioned, in rather vague terms, that dad introduced her to the breaking of taboos and she was not at all repentant about anything.

After two years, Najia was engaged to a distant maternal cousin. Her fiancé, Shahid, was living abroad and was 5 years her senior. He had just started on with a career in law and was very handsome. The engagement ceremony was a fun-and-frolic affair with lots of guests both local and foreign. Najia looked stunning in her dress. While dressing her up, I came to realize that she had indeed turned more beautiful with her age. The transformation from a minor to an adult had made her curvier and she was simply great. I started to envy her.

Her marriage was planned in vicinity of my 18th birthday and it resulted in me and her spending lot of time together in shopping. A month prior to my birthday, while we were out for shopping, she took me to a fancy restaurant. That lunch was a surprise and after that I understood everything. On that afternoon, many mysteries were unraveled in front of me. It is not at all difficult to recall the conversation that took place 20 years ago and it went on like this: -

HerNado (my nickname), you know I am both happy and sad that I am getting married.

MeYes, I can guess.

HerNo Nado, you cannot even think about my reasoning.

MeWhy? It's a simple phenomenon. You are happy because you are getting married to a very handsome and rich guy. You are sad because you will be going far away and will miss us all.

HerYou are wrong and right at the same time. You are right he is handsome and rich but that is not the reason why I am happy. Yes, you are also right that I feel sad because I will be going to states with him but I am not going to miss all my family equally. I will be missing dad more than anyone.

MeYou see, my reasoning was more right than wrong. Its not different from what you say.

HerNo it's different. Let me be more specific. He is handsome but he is no match to dad. His being rich is no attraction to me.

MeWhat dad's looks got to do anything with him? Dad is our father and Shahid Bhai will be your husband. I hope you know the difference.

HerBoth of them are men and I know one but not the other, that is what bothering me. Oh! I love dad so much, how will I live without him?

Me Najia, it's not only you who love daddy. We all love daddy and I am sure he loves us all too.

HerYes, I know you love him too, as do Nasir and Nadeem. I am talking about the love that is like between mom and dad.

MeWhat? How can your love with dad be like the love between mom and him?

HerOh yes! My love with him is definitely different than the love that is their between him and mom. Ours is more mazedar (delicious).

MeWhat do you mean, mazedar, is it something to eat?

HerHa ha, it is, sometime. He is delicious.

Look Nado, my love with dad is like the love of mom and dad but it's more exhilarating as it is something which is taboo.

MeTaboo? How can love between father and daughter be taboo?

HerWhen fatherly love becomes ---------------------------physical, it is taboo, isn't it?

MeWhat? What the hell you are talking about? Obviously he seems to be touching you more, but ----------------------, I don't get it.

HerNado, lets go, I will tell you when we go back home.

We completed our shopping and headed home. I was playing and replaying our conversation. I was now thinking that my sister was having some sort of crush on my father and most of it might be her imagination. While she was driving us back to home, she started talking and it was good that she was driving, otherwise I would have definitely crashed the vehicle. She told me that a month prior to her 18th birthday, mom took her shopping. While shopping, mom took Najia to various stores and bought her lots of things that included dresses, shoes, jewelry and cosmetics. Their last stop became a famous and classy lingerie shop where mom chose most of her outfits. Those were indeed very sexy, not to mention their cost, which was exuberant. While trying those items, Najia asked mom as to why were these items being given so special attention. The answer took Najia completely by surprise as mom told her that it's what papa wanted. Her sudden burst of curies was cut of by mom and she was told to be patient.

After a complete array of sexiest possible lingerie was purchased mom took her to a Fast Food joint that was famous for its private booths. There, she started by telling Najia that their family was a very special family that placed love at the top. She then told her that a very important dimension to love was the physical one. She continued and told my sister that ever since Najia and I started budding into puberty, it was becoming increasingly difficult for dad to hold himself away from us. When, out of sheer love, he used to hold us, our growing bodies made him, unintentionally though, lusty. He tried to control himself by getting more into drinking and, for a short period into drugs like hash and marijuana. When mom discovered this, she knew how dangerous, and even fatal, drugs could be to a fighter pilot. When she confronted dad, he told her the cause, albeit after lot of resistance. Mom said that the well being and happiness of her husband was very important to her. Further, this talk did not repulse her into an extreme reaction. Definitely, mom did show some reaction, but her reaction was controlled and with sheer dedication and tact she got dad out of his potentially fatal affliction of drugs and over-boozing.

Dad's confession about him being attracted towards his own daughters brought even closer to mom. For two years, off an on, they discussed this topic and amazingly, this discussion made their lovemaking more intense. They even got into role playing (here Najia explained me about this term, that was new to me), and enjoyed it a lot. Mom told Najia, that this shopping out was planned by mom and dad with intentions of telling Najia too think about it for a month. She was told to keep the decision to herself till her birthday.

When her fantastic narration reached this point, we reached home and I was too stunned to notice this. Najia took me to her bedroom and told me to wait and she went outside. I was in a state of shock and too many conflicting questions were popping into my mind. I never knew when Najia came back and was brought to the senses when she presented me a can of non-alcoholic beer. She herself was holding an unopened bottle of wine. She placed it on her dresser and went to washroom. When she came back she was wearing a gown. I had already finished my drink and she opened her bottle of wine as she started off again, "you remember, on my birthday, I presented the first piece of cake to dad. It was my way of saying yes. Later when the kids were sent packing, the party of adults soon started consuming all sorts of wines. I had my first taste of booze in that very party.

"The party continued for a short time and when the guests were seen off, me, mom and dad sat drinking together. There, I was asked specifically about my decision and I responded by hugging dad with all my love and passion. At that point, mom cut us off and said that we will have ample time to get physical and it was time that rules of the game should be laid. She had obviously planned this very thoughtfully. She told me and dad that all this amounted to breaking of lots of taboos and it was best that it should be kept a closely guarded secret. No one, and absolutely no one, was to know about it. She also told dad, somewhat mockingly, that she was not jealous unless he acted chivalrous in the same manner when the time came. She told me about the three days holiday with dad at Muree and also told me that all my needs for the trip are packed in the car. I and dad soon departed, but only after he kissed and fondled mom, vocally expressing his thanks to her for all this. We literally departed from home like honeymooners. All through the journey, not much was spoken I laid my head on dad's shoulder. A very nice and isolated cottage, owned by a family friend, was where dad took me.

I sat there listening to my sister and was too stunned to say anything. She continued her tale and told me that they both, more importantly dad, knew that they had complete three days and he did not hurry Najia up, like a teenager, into sex. He obviously knew not to force himself on my sister in a hurry. And she realized it now that if he had done it even a bit immaturely, despite all her willingness, the matter would have fouled up. In the cottage Najia had, at least initially, a separate room. She unpacked her luggage and found all the shopping from that particular trip with mom. She took a long and refreshing bath and changed into a very nice dress. Dad, dressed immaculately, was waiting for her in the lounge. Then they went for a dinner and talked a lot. He told her to again think about her decision and she replied by telling him that she loved him so much that nothing mattered.

She continued, "On the drive back to cottage, dad told me to drive. While I drove, he stared at me like a man possessed. He also caressed my upper arms, my neck and my hairs. He told me that I looked so beautiful. All this talk and touches was making me strangely woozy. Finally we reached the cottage and he told me to prepare coffee. We took our coffee on a terrace that was affording us a very romantic view. During coffee, dad suggested me to dress into something good and wait for him in my room. After the session he kissed me lightly on my lips and left for his room.

"I also went to my room and opened my stuff, trying to think what I should wear. Finally I gave up and waited for dad in the same dress that I was wearing. When he came, wearing a gown, I told him to tell me what he would like me to dress into. He laughed and told me to wear a Sari and I did as I was told. When I came out dressed into the sari, it was dark in the room except for the light of a lamp. In this low light, I saw him gazing at me with lust. The sari was crimson and the blouse was sleeveless with a plunging neckline. He held me in his arms and kissed me passionately on my lips. I had seen lots of kissing, between him and mom, but it was an exhilarating experience for me. It came naturally to me and I started kissing him back. He caressed my naked arms and my back. My boobs were pressing hard into his chest and my arms were around his back. His palms then started traveling sideward and soon those were touching my breasts from the sides. His kiss and touch was doing funny things with me and soon I was short of breath. He started unwinding my sari and I was left in my petticoat and blouse. He embraced me again and while kissing, groped my buttocks. His touch sent shivers of excitement through my body and I held him tightly.

At this point, I told Najia to give me a break and also a drink. She told me that I should wait for a month more for alcohol and instead brought me another beer. She resumed her narration, "he then made me sit on the bed and knelt on his knees in front of me. He disengaged from my lips and descended downward, kissing me on my neck with occasional nips with his teeth. I was drenching wet by this time and it was all a new but amazing sensation for me. He then went down further and kissed my cleavage, which thanks to mom's choice, was generously visible and amply available to his lips. His kiss there, started, what I know now, was my first orgasm. When I came back to earth, he was smiling and then went on to ask me again whether I want him to continue or not? My reply was silent but bold; I undid his robe, and there he was, in his briefs, tented obscenely forward. He then started undoing my blouse clasps, one by one and soon I was in my new bra, which I remember very much to be black. The color beautifully contrasted with my fair skin and dad remarked something to the same effect. He then, somewhat hurriedly, undid the clasp of my bra and my boobs were there, all exposed for him. He was losing control as he attacked my boobs with hungry kisses and when he took my nipple into mouth, I shrieked with joy. He told me that I can cry and shriek as loud as I wanted as no one was there to listen. He kept on sucking my tits, alternating his attention from left to right and soon brought me to my second climax.