My Awakening Ch. 02b

"Well, I suppose the first time started on a cheerleader competition. We got to pick who we were going to bunk with. So naturally, I had my best friends in the room with me. I had never told them about my lesbian desires. I wasn't 100% sure if I was a lesbian or if I just didn't like the immature boys in high school. We'd done things like practice kissing with each other, but it all seemed so harmless."

"But at the competition, things changed. Naomi and Paige slept in one bed together. Marissa and I in the other. One night, after a stressful day or rehearsals, we started just massaging each other's sore muscles. One thing led to another that changed our relationship. We were still friends and we would never reveal the depth of our friendship. So we felt safe to explore without judgment. We were there for each other, to help each other find out what we wanted, what we liked and what we didn't like. We were closer than ever."

"Wait, a sec. Didn't Marissa come out of the closet shortly after I started the school? I remember everyone gossiping about it, but then it eventually just dropped."

"She actually came out of the closet, first to us, near the beginning of our sophomore year, but the three of us didn't let that bother us. We were there for her as she was for us. So what if she found out she was a lesbian through our get-togethers. We loved her as she was. By the time it became public knowledge, I had enough power to make or break other people's social standing and we squashed anything being done to Marissa. She and I had a closer relationship than with the other two. I think she had a crush on me, but I didn't allow myself to feel the same way. I suppose. I just didn't want to get tied down to any one person. At least, not high-schoolers. So much immaturity and insecurity, in both sexes, I was just the same, I realize now. I think she was a little hurt about me not reciprocating her emotional attachment of me, but I think she figured it was better to have what I gave her and her to be content with it. She'd seen what I did to guys who tried to push me further than I was willing to go. Perhaps, she thought I would do the same to her. I don't know, back then? I might have."

I saw a pained expression on my sister's face at the turn of this story. Having finished my sandwich, I reached out and put my hands on hers. She looked at me, thankful of my compassion. She smiled up at me. "Thanks. I hadn't thought of any of this in so long."

"What about me? Or rather your fantasies about me? How did that come about?"

"So, little sister, wants to know all my deepest, darkest secrets today? Hmmm, well that one came out unexpectedly. When we each had our 18th birthdays, after the main celebration ended. We would pick up the trash and straighten the house. Then had a sleep over, just the four of us." A twinkle in her eye gave away there were secrets, juicy secrets, but she was just going to keep those for herself to remember.

"Naomi was the last of us to turn 18. So in the middle of a hot foursome, Marissa was between her legs. All of a sudden Naomi yells out, luckily her parents weren't in the house, your name. It shocked us. But you should have seen Naomi. I don't think I'd ever seen a black woman blush before, but boy did she!" Kaitlin was laughing over the memory. "After that night, I saw you differently. I couldn't get you out of my mind. What would you look like in different clothes, without clothes? I started role-playing with Marissa. The others would join in as well. Naomi, I could tell, was really getting into you, but she just couldn't figure out how to get you. So she did the only thing she could. She used the stand-in Hailey. I had it worse, though. All day at home with you, I was tormented by my fantasies of you. That's also one of the other reasons I had to move away. To get away from you." I could see a tear forming in her eye.

"We got together, the four of us, for the last time on graduation night. I moved to California shortly after. I just don't think I could have kept my secret about you, from you, for much longer. I keep in touch with them, although I should have kept better contact, I guess. I didn't know Naomi worked here at the mall. So that's really about it."

Finally finished with her tale, one thing piqued my curiosity, "So Naomi...fantasized about me first?"

Kaitlin chuckled at this, "I thought you would say something sooner than now. Yeah, I suppose she did. It's why I suggested she come in to the changing room with us. I wanted her to finally taste the fruit she was lusting for all those years ago. And I thought it would be hot to see my sister getting a thorough tongue lashing. I don't get to watch everything I do to you. So it was a little for me, too."

Kaitlin, finishing up her sandwich and the bag of chips we had split, started picking up the trash and asked, "So ready for more shopping fun with you big sister?" I smiled and nodded. She was right, a girls day out shopping was exactly what I needed.

"One thing."

"Sure anything."

"All these purchases. How are we going to hide them coming into the house?"

She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. "You sure do worry about the littlest things sometime. I got it worked out."

"And when dad sees the bill?"

"He has only purchased your hair cut, a couple of the bra and panties set, an outfit and lunch. So far." I was confused. If that's all he bought, then how did we accumulate so much? My eyes turned to saucers as I looked at my sister anew. "Figured it out huh? THIS is my Christmas gift to you. Don't worry, though. I also got you something to open on Christmas Day."

I was utterly speechless. How did my sister have enough money to afford all of what we bought? She was just a college student, but she was living a lifestyle that was above and beyond a simple college student. On top of all that, she was spending a small fortune on me. Part of me wanted her to return the purchases. I didn't want to crimp her finances, but looking up at her I noticed she was truly happy. She had her arms linked with mine. She had a pep in her gait that I hadn't seen in years, and not because of her living in California, but before that. And she didn't seem to be fretting over the money she was spending. So perhaps I should just let her dote on me. I mean, since she seemed to want to and all. I placed my head on her shoulder as we walked the mall some more.

"Thanks," is all I could muster to say for what my sister was doing for me today.

I didn't look, but I could feel her gaze on me, contemplating me, "Anything for you, little sister. I told you someone will show you how special you are and you like you deserve."

"I didn't expect it to be you, though."

"I didn't either, truthfully. Hoped, but not expected. But I did know this. If no one else, then by God by me."

We walked by a shoe store, when Kaitlin stopped abruptly. "We haven't gotten you any shoes yet!" I groaned a little. Not that I was growing tired of shopping, but that I would have to give up my head rest and part from my sister's touch.

We went in. I sat on a bench as my sister fetched a sales clerk to help her. Walking back towards me, a boy from my school was practically running after my sister to keep up with her pace. He was carrying a foot measuring tool with him. I was racking my brain trying to think of the boy's name, but since I had no social life out side of a few board or pen-and-paper game nights I couldn't place his face with a name.

When he got closer, I saw his name badge. Eric. "You go to my school don't you?" I asked him.

He glanced at me, "Umm. Oh, yeah I think so. Although, I am just a sophomore. I didn't recognize you at first."

"Yeah. I had my hair cut today."

"It looks nice."

"Thanks." Why did he look so familiar? Yeah. I know he goes to my school, but me being a senior and him a sophomore we didn't really have classes together. On top of that, my lack of a social life and my propensity to look at the floor I just couldn't fathom why he looked familiar. Then he turned his head! "You aren't, by chance, Steve's brother. Are you?"

"Yeah. You know him?" Fuck me! Steve was just the guy that asked me to prom last year. Correction, the guy who stood me up on prom last year. He had been a senior, so luckily I didn't run into him every day reliving that dreadful night, but did Eric know what had transpired? I hoped not.

"Sorta." My sister had been watching the exchange between Eric and I, with a furrowed brow. She must have seen my panicked stare, but with no way to know what had me worked up she stood there, helplessly. She motioned to me, with her finger and thumb, if I would like to bail. I took a soothing breath and shook my head. It shouldn't be too rough right? I didn't think brothers, especially as seniors and freshmen, would share much between each other. At least, that's what I was hoping for.

Eric knelt down and asked me to remove my shoes to get a measurement. Once I was clad only in my socks, he took the foot and placed it on the tool. He made some adjustments and got my shoe size. At that point, he looked up at me. Or rather he was lifting his head to look at me, but stopped. I saw his eyes bulge. It then dawned on me. He was looking straight at my pussy! I squirmed a bit in my seat, which inadvertently spread my legs a tad wider. What. The. Fuck. I was showing this boy my pussy! I wanted to cover up. I should have covered up. Then I noticed something. He was licking his lips. I looked a little longer. I thought I could detect something.

"You should do the other foot as well. Shouldn't you?" My sister said as she smirked down at us.

He shifted slightly to measure my other foot, as my sister suggested. Except this time, he tried to do it without watching what he was doing. No, he was still mesmerized by my body. That's when I noticed what I was detecting. His pants were getting a little too tight around his crotch. I was giving this boy a boner! That realization, the realization that not only had my sister and her friends fantasized me, this boy was getting turned on sent a tingle down my spine. The power I knew my sister had in high school for boys to trip over themselves to accommodate her. I had it too. I had it and I had covered it up for too long.

Finally, I decided to help this boy. I placed my foot where it need to go to be measure. I looked down at him, I asked in my best husky voice I could summon, "See something you like?" I saw Kaitlin stifle a laugh.

He stammered out an apology and finished my measurement of my foot. "So, umm, what do you need, err, want today?" At which my sister, grabbed his arm, much like a mother might grab a child's arm in the grocery store, and led him down aisle after aisle gathering shoes.

He had quite the armful, but there once one request my sister had made while they were gathering the shoes. She had apparently found a shoe they didn't have in my size on the floor and had asked him to check the back. Once he had left on his mission, my sister, looking both ways, whispered, "You had that boy so worked up. It was actually really funny! The line you said to him, I about fell over from laughter. I am so glad I was able to keep it in. In fact, at one time I stopped so abruptly he ran right into me and you know what?" I shook my head. "He was still hard!" This caused her to lose it and just start laughing. I did too.

We had just got control of our laughter and were trying on the first pair of shoes, when Eric had returned. He was carrying the shoe box as if it were a briefcase full of diamonds. Panting a little, "This is the last one in her size we have." My sister just nodded and had him place it with the other shoes. I was pacing back and forth. My sister made a comment, mostly to herself, about how these shoes would look with certain outfits. I tried on a dozen shoes ranging from heels, to sneakers, to flats, to wedges. She was always commenting on the shoes, matching certain ones with outfits we had purchased. How did she remember everything we had bought? I couldn't even tell you how many of one item we had. Like pants, or more specifically jeans; how many jeans did we buy? Couldn't say. Shirts? Same answer. Yet, her she was. My sister rattling off outfits Like she had them imprinted in her brain.

We ended up with six pairs of shoes, including the one Eric had to retrieve from the back. Carrying them to the register, I thought Eric would drop them all, when Kaitlin leaned over and whispered, "So how much is it worth for a view up my sister's skirt?" He croaked at that. He turned beet red. "Or rather, how much is it worth to keep our little secret from reaching your manager's ear?"

Yep, my sister could be a real bitch sometimes. I was trying to intervene on Eric's behalf, but before I could pipe up he stammered, "I-I c-could gi-give y-you m-my employee d-discount?" My sister seemed to think this over making Eric squirm a bit. "It's the best I can do, I promise. Please, I need this job." I really felt sorry for the boy.

I think I saw realization hit her as to how far she had pushed this boy. For a brief second, I saw...remorse? Perhaps she had changed, or was trying to change. I hoped any way. "That'll work for me. Hailey?" I just nodded my ascent.

Once we left, I had to know. Had to ask. "Kaitlin?" She kept walking. She was walking at a more hurried pace than at any time today. I hustled to keep up. But she wouldn't slow down. I just stopped. I let the bags fall to the ground. When she noticed I wasn't with her, I saw her stop and look around for me. She spotted me and walked back towards me.

"Come on." She motioned for me to follow her. I made no movement to do so. She looked at me impatiently. I sat down on the bench I was standing by. She looked like she was about to yell at me, like we were younger. But back then I HAD been an annoying little brat, yes I will admit that. But today? No, not today I wasn't. I was right and slowly I saw her ire fade as she knew I was right. She sat down next to me. Her body slumping as her head rested on my shoulder.

For a time, we sat there like that. "What was that back there?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know." She must have thought I was going to accuse her of lying. Before I could, which I wasn't going to, "No, really I don't know. All of a sudden, as soon as I saw him looking up your skirt, I knew I could manipulate him."

"But you did it to the attendant at Aeropostale, too. And that was just some woman doing her job." She hung her head a little more. This is an odd occurrence. I am usually the one with my head hung low. My sister was always the one that had her chin raised in confidence.

"I thought." She started, but stopped. A few moments passed in silence. "I thought moving to California would be right. That I could be the person I..." Whatever she was struggling to say, I wasn't going to rush her. I put my hand on her head and let her just sit there. "Part of me, didn't think I deserved you." This admission snapped my head back. I didn't deserve HER? "You are always so helpful. Even doing things you don't like so others can do them or don't have to do them. Sometimes I always thought you let people walk all over you, but you never complained. Like today, everything I have pushed you to do from the moment I said we were shopping. Sure you might have complained or given a look like you didn't want to. But I knew, if I pushed you enough you'd relent. Part of why I moved was so I didn't push myself on to you. I wanted you to choose me because you wanted me. I stayed away hoping I could get my urges to stop manipulating people around me. I now see I haven't changed. Not one bit."

I stroked her hair. "Of course you have changed. The person you were in high school wouldn't have cared about the people she hurt to get what you wanted. Of course, your family and your closest friends were immune to that kind of manipulation, but I saw it at school. Mom and dad never saw that side of you."

"Did I..." she started to sob. What she was trying to ask, must have been the hardest thing she had ever said to me. I waited, patiently. She wiped some tears from her eyes. "Did I force," her voice got so low I couldn't hear it. "Force," she said with a croak, "myself on you? Manipulate you to let me have sex with you?"

I thought about it. I thought about our first night together. Had she manipulated me? Sure I was vulnerable when she found me that night. But could I say she manipulated me? No, she hadn't. As soon as I hit play and started masturbating with my sister's video, something deep down registered to me before I really knew it. I wanted my sister. Just like my sister had wanted me years ago. She just had the courage, for both of us, to go for it this time.

I shook my head, "No. You didn't manipulate me. I was a willing participant." I leaned down and kissed her fully on the mouth. She was the usual instigator of our trysts, but this time I had to show her she was loved by me as much as I was loved by her.

We sat there, long after our kiss ended, the crowd of people walking by largely ignored. We just sat there luxuriating in our love for each other. She finally got up, held out her hand and helped me to my feet. Rather than linking our arms like we had been most of the day, she interlaced our fingers of our hands and walked the store hand-in-hand.

We had no other incidents throughout our shopping spree. Some kisses. Some strokes. But nothing outrageous. She got me some accessories. We picked out gifts for mom and dad. Well, I picked out gifts for them. Kaitlin had already done her shopping in California. I got dad a new watch he was sorely needing. Mom was always difficult to buy for. She and Kaitlin were so similar, but Kaitlin told me she took care of mom in Victoria's Secret, much to my surprise.

Kaitlin had even suggested we go into an electronics store to talk to someone about my computer problem. Had I known that was an option, I would have picked up my scratch paper I jotted down the error code! I had my brow furrowed trying to remember it, but it was a lot of random numbers and letters.

Kaitlin must have noticed my turmoil, "You don't know what's wrong with your computer?" I shook my head. "Was that piece of paper on your desk important?" I nodded. "So the fact that I put it in your purse was a good thing?" I dropped the package and gave my big sister the biggest hug I had ever remembered giving her. She mirthfully giggled.

After talking with a tech and looking up the code, we determined the biggest culprit was a fried motherboard. I was a little despondent, but at least I had a direction to go to fix my computer. By this point, we were getting hungry again. So we piled my car with the rest of our day's haul. We were trying to decide what else we could do, when Kaitlin suggested we eat at Chili's, here at the mall, then go see a movie. I liked that idea, a lot.

We stopped into a restroom for the obvious reason and to straighten ourselves up a bit as well. I mean, we had been walking and shopping for quite a few hours by this point. Even my sister can't go that long with out hair and makeup needing to be retouched, at least a little bit. She had finished up before me. When I came out of my stall, she had this impishly sexy grin on her face. I looked around to see we were alone. I came to her as she beckoned me to her.

"I just can't get enough of you little sister." God her urges are going to fry my brain. I glanced over at the door hoping no one would enter. "I locked it already. No where to go. No where to run." She tried to make her voice as lecherous as possible. We both started to laugh. Until, that is, my sister's mouth found mine. Her hand slipped into my blouse and was immediately on my breast again. She kissed down my neck. I was moaning already. She put her mouth right next to my ear and whispered, "I want you to say it. Say my name."