My Breakthrough Movie

My Breakthrough Movie

An aspiring actress makes the most of a sexy role

******************

My friend Michelle was my confidant. "So, how's the filming of the new movie going?" she asked, her voice bubbling with cheer as it always does. She doesn't realize how annoying that can be, at least at times.

"It's fine," I said.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. I said it's fine," I reiterated.

"Jess, you were looking forward to making this movie since forever! It's your dream! Twenty years old and making a major motion picture with a big studio, and you're the star! And all you can say is, 'It's fine?' What's wrong? Speak to me. I'm Michelle, remember?"

"Okay, it's not totally fine," I said. "For one thing, it's an endurance contest. Every scene is shot at least three times, with three different cameras. It's been going on for over half a year, and I'm in most of the scenes. Do you know how many wardrobe changes I go through in one day?"

"Well, it's almost over, anyway. How many scenes are left?" Michelle asked.

"That's the problem. Only the nude scenes, and worse, the sex scenes are left. They're marketing it to appeal to horny men, and I'm the object of desire. Well, my body is," I said.

"I'm sure it's your character that you play, plus your ridiculously pretty face that really matters, not just a little skin," Michelle said. She always sees the bright side. It's just who she is, and why I love her.

"Yeah, maybe," I replied.

"How bad are the sex scenes? Do you have to show your tits?" Michelle nervously asked.

I couldn't help it. I laughed. "Michelle, there's full nudity in the scenes. We're talking full frontals. As if that isn't enough, we also give full backsides, naked profiles, breasts and nipples, even my pussy, although that's supposed to be fleeting. It's the whole shebang, and it gets worse."

"Worse? How can it get worse?" Michelle asked.

"I make love with the Ryan character, and we're to have simulated sex. Then I'm kind of raped by the Chris character, and again, more simulated sex. I'm nude throughout those scenes, with three cameras on me, camera crews, the directors, and for some reason all the wardrobe and make-up people, the grips, the whole kit and caboodle while I prance around nude, my girls jiggling as they're wont to do," I replied.

"Wow," was all Michelle said in reply.

"Plus, what the fuck is 'simulated sex?' I need a coach or something, but I'm too embarrassed to ask. The guy who plays Ryan and I are going to rehearse at my place tonight. I'm so embarrassed. So humiliated!"

"I'm sure it will be fine," Michelle said, without any conviction. "You've had sex before, right?"

"Remember Keith?" I replied.

"Oh, really? Keith? Really? Of all people, you let Keith..."

"Yeah, I did. He took my cherry. Next up were Steve, and Mike. There. Now you have my total sexual experience," I said. "Three men, and none of them that talented in the bedroom, truth be told."

"Three guys? Not bad for a twenty-year-old. Of course, with your movie star looks, I'm sure you could have had lots more..." Michelle said, clearly not knowing what to say.

"Keith was a premature guy, if you know what I mean. All Steve wanted was blowjobs. All Mike wanted to do was to play with my boobs. I've never had even a somewhat decent lover, and now I have to act as if I know what I'm doing," I said. Tears were welling in my eyes.

"Sex is natural. You'll do fine. I'm sure Ryan will be a big help," Michelle said.

"I'm not so sure. I really don't have a clue how to simulate sex. His name is Philip, by the way. Ryan is the name of the character he plays. I should call him Ryan though, so I don't slip up during filming. The director has a short fuse. By the way, what's your sexual experience? There's Rick, I guess," I said.

"Yeah, there's always Rick. He's nice, and I love him, but he's boring. Can you keep a secret?" Michelle asked, conspiratorially.

"Of course. Spill, girlfriend," I said.

Michelle told me all about her hot new lover. She was learning new positions, doggie, cowgirl, over the end of her overstuffed arm chair, even light bondage! She was in sexual heaven.

"What about Rick?" I asked.

"It was his idea! He likes to watch. Creepy, right?" Michelle replied.

"It takes all kinds. The world is a big place. Have fun, and remember, safe sex is the best sex," I said.

"Simulated sex sounds pretty safe," Michelle said.

"Pretty weird, too," I added.

"I've got a corner on weird, right now," Michelle said, and we both giggled.

************

Michelle and I go way back. We became friends in middle school and the next year we were best friends forever. Michelle knew how I had always wanted to be an actress. I did my academics, too, and got good grades, and reasonably high marks on the college exams (the SATs). I was chubby in middle school, and swamped with pimples and the like, and I got my period late. Once my period came, however, my complexion cleared up, my chub gradually disappeared, and my breasts grew. I evolved from a middle school nothing to a high school lovely.

I took up gymnastics, and then became a pom-pom girl, kicking my legs up high, and doing the splits. Luckily, I had nice legs, because they were always on display. Boys dated me, but only Keith, Steve, and Mike got anywhere with me, and they only managed it after I turned eighteen, My parents were adamant about that, and within one week of turning eighteen, I was on birth control pills. The second half of my senior year in high school, it was as if it were open season on me.

I gave Keith my virginity, although he barely got it due to his problem with premature ejaculation, and when Keith was toast I perfected the blowjob with Steve. After Steve it was Mike. He was obsessed with my boobs (they were large for high school girls), and more into fucking my boobs than my pussy. None of the three guys were candidates to be life partners, or anything like that. Live and learn, right? Hey, it was only high school romances, anyway.

I tried out for every play I could. I could not sing, but I took extra, non-singing parts in musicals, just to be on stage. I became a reasonably good thespian, and when the local professional acting troupe needed someone for the part of a young teenybopper woman, I auditioned, and I often got the part.

I think I became a pretty good actress, even before I entered college and majored in theater. Michelle was always there for me, cheering me on, and in return I was there for her when she trained for and eventually ran some half marathons, and, finally, actual marathons. Her dream was to run in the Boston marathon, but that didn't happen until her senior year. I went to all of her marathons, unless I had to be onstage somewhere else, and I cheered her on. She always finished, each time improving her time.

When Michelle and I entered college, both now eighteen and a half, we each became a little casual about sex, dating different guys to see what clicked. As I said, I had found Keith, Steve, and Mike in high school, but none of them were really for me. Michelle found Rick, and he turned out to be too weird by half. Throughout it all, though, we remained best friends, and we shared secrets as best girlfriends do.

My goal to become a movie starlet was ambitiously unrealistic, I knew that, and I also knew I'd have to show some skin, and at some point, sex might become involved. It's just the way things are, even with #MeToo now a part of our culture. Behavior, nevertheless, changes slowly. Still, I never had to put out to get a role, and I'm grateful for that.

In all honesty, I would have, you know. I would have fucked or sucked anyone to get a good role in a play or a movie. It's simply good luck I didn't have to!

***************

I'd had one sexual experience I'd never told Michelle. I never told anyone, actually. The experience was just for me. It was in college, my freshman year, after I had turned eighteen. I was applying for the drama school, and I had been assigned a junior who was supposed to show me around, and explain the program.

To my surprise, the junior was a guy. He showed me around, he flattered me about my looks, and he basically seduced me with his eyes. Even though he was a student, he had an office. It didn't have a door that closed, but he didn't seem to care. He took me in his arms and kissed me, without warning, just like that.

Okay, to be fair, we had been flirting a little, and while his kissing me surprised me (I hadn't seen it coming), it didn't upset me. Indeed, his kisses were welcome. They were more than welcome.

I had kissed my fair share of guys in high school; being classically pretty, one can expect that. So, I thought I knew how to kiss, but I was wrong. Sean taught me how to kiss, right there, in his office. I was turned on, but this was inappropriate, and I pulled away from him.

"What's wrong?" Sean asked.

"I just met you, Sean, around an hour ago. This is too fast for me," I replied.

"You seemed to be enjoying it," Sean said.

"That's not the point. Kissing is fun; I like it. Kissing also means something to me. It's sex, and I have to know and like the guy," I said.

"I thought you wanted to be an actor?" Sean said.

"Actress. I'm a girl," I said.

"Trust me, I know you're a girl. We call everyone actors these days, man or woman. Now come here and kiss me," he said, and he said it with such command in his deep, male voice, such authority, that I lost my resistance. I walked over to him, showing him my best stage walk, hips swinging, and I kissed him. I was the aggressor, pushing his back into the wall, shoving my boobs against his chest, and smacking him right on the kisser. When he kissed me back I opened my mouth and ran my hands through his hair.

"Good acting," Sean said. "Very convincing." He was hard already.

"Thanks. I'm enthusiastic about the program here," I said.

"Being female, if you want to be in the movies, you cannot be shy," he said.

"I want movies and of course I'm not shy. I've been in six plays performed already and I'm only eighteen," I said.

"I mean shy about showing off your female assets," he said.

"Oh," I replied. He knew, somehow. I'm a private person, not an auspicious trait for a wannabe actor, especially when said wannabe is female. A successful actress has to be a bit of an exhibitionist.

"Let me help," he said, and this time he kissed me. He pulled my T shirt up to my neck, exposing my bra, and ending the kiss, he said, "Raise your arms." The commanding way he said it turned me on. I wanted to impress him, convince him of my ambition, so I raised my arms.

I couldn't help myself, though, and I whispered, "People can see."

"Yes, possibly," he said, as he pulled my T shirt up and over my head, tossing it casually onto a close-by chair. He resumed kissing me and I felt the tension of my bra release; Sean had unhooked it! I hadn't even felt him do it. Sean was smooth. My bra joined my T shirt on the chair, and Sean pushed me away, saying, "Let me look at you."

I let him look. I suspect my eyes were big. This was new. No guy had ever taken control of me before. It was freaky, and yet, it turned me on.

"Nice, very nice. Show me the rest of you," he said.

"What?"

"Get naked, Jess. Now," and seeing the incredulity in my eyes, before I could even formulate a reply, he added, "Yes, here. I want to see your body."

"Uh...why?" I asked, quite reasonably, I thought. Then I quickly thought to add, "I don't even know you, Sean."

"True, but you're an actor, and this is your role for today. Strip and pretend you're a slut. My slut. My slut slave," he said.

"I'm not that at all!" I protested.

"Of course not, you silly girl. You'll be acting. Now, strip," he said, once again in a tone that brooked no resistance.

I nervously looked around. "I'm waiting," Sean said, and he began to tap his foot. I did it. I took off my skinny jeans and stood before him clothed only in my panties.

"Continue," he said.

"But..but..but.." I said.

"I need to see your body. Your entire body. Now. Do it," and he continued impatiently to tap his foot. I slid my panties down, and shivering in fear, I stood before him, totally naked (my tennis shoes had come off when I pulled off my skinny jeans). Yes, I had a bush. It was artistically trimmed, but it was a bona fide bush.

Sean's eyes panned over my entire body, from my hair down to my toes, even checking out my toenail polish, remarking on how it went well with my fingernail polish, but clashed with my lipstick, or what was left of it after having kissed him so much. I knew, I just knew, he was going to order me to give him a blowjob, which I totally could not do, but yet I knew that I would. He had that much control over me. As I said: It was freaky, and yet, it turned me on.

So, I exhaled, and became relieved, and relaxed, when his friend Eric walked in, since with another person there, I assumed sex was off the table. I was so relieved in fact that I kind of forgot I was naked, and I happily shook hands with Eric. Forgetting I was nude in a small room without a door, I made small talk with the two men. Now when you talk with someone, you always look them in the eye, and both Eric and Sean kept not doing that, instead casting their eyes downward.

I looked down to see what fascinated them to such a degree and was only then reminded I was stark, raving naked! I blushed furiously, and we all laughed, and I got dressed, with both men watching intently as I dressed. "Hey, no underwear, okay?" Eric suggested.

I looked at him, standing there naked. I thought for a few seconds, then smiled, winked, and said okay. I pulled on my skinny jeans first, so the men could continue to ogle my boobs, and finally I added my T shirt. The two men took me to lunch, my nipples poking at the T shirt the entire time, to the delight of both men. I got some looks from other men, too. I blushed a lot. Sean told me that my blushing was "fetching." I blushed when he said that.

Each of the men asked me out, but I was not ready to start sleeping around, and I declined both of them. I regretted that later, since I'm sure Sean, at least, could have taught me how to really and truly fuck. Sean turned me on, and that scared me. Instead, I remained fairly ignorant of sexual things, my experience being severely limited to Keith with his premature ejaculations, Steve who was so obsessed with blowjobs he never actually fucked me, and last there was Mike who gave me some ho-hum fucks, but really got turned on with his titty fucks.

Sean might have been a normal guy who could have royally fucked me. Well, I was still young. I stayed friends with Sean, and we often saw each other. There was always some unresolved sexual tension in our friendship. Isn't that always the case with one's male friends, anyway?

It was Sean, eighteen months later, who recommended me for the movie part. I suspect he figured I'd be a fresh, young face, with a great body, and one who could handle the nudity and sex scenes. I'm forever grateful to Sean for that. I read the script, and I realized this movie could make me a star. The script was that good!

**********

It was time to shoot the first sex scene, and I still didn't know what I was doing. I had practiced being naked in front of Ryan, with him being naked in front of me, and we managed to get to the stage where I was not covered with goosebumps, and he could control his raging erections.

I do have to say, however, that I was a bit pleased that just the sight of my naked body, and the close proximity to it, gave Ryan his erections. It reminded me, just a bit, of that one time with Sean (and Eric). I did nothing to help Ryan get rid of his little problem, of course, just as I had done nothing for Sean and Eric before him. We were just rehearsing, and he's not my boyfriend or anything. He does have a right hand, after all. I'll bet he used it, too!

Being naked in front of Ryan was already something, but being naked in front of the director, all the grips, the camera crews, everyone? Well, that's part of being a female movie actor these days, isn't it? I was scared, but I knew I had to do it. I was an ambitious girl, after all.

Ryan began the scene by kissing me, as the script called for. Concurrent to the kissing, Ryan, at the same time, slowly undressed me. His kisses were nice, and I focused on that, and not that my dress was being unzipped, pushed off my shoulders, and then over my hips to the floor. As prepared by wardrobe, I was wearing a little nothing of a bra and bikini style, lace panties.

The scene came at a key point of the movie. My character, Ellen, had fallen for Ryan while he had been investigating a murder. Ellen was at first the primary suspect, and she might have seducing Ryan to throw him off her scent. The viewer didn't know, at this point in the movie. Ellen however was, of course, innocent, and she wasn't cynically seducing Ryan; no, she was falling for him, hook, line, and sinker.

The other question was, why was Ryan seducing a prime suspect? Was it because he could? Or was it because, good detective that he was, he was nevertheless his own victim of his primal, carnal desires? Ellen was falling for Ryan, but was he using her, using her body, or was he too in exchange falling for Ellen? That little question was not revealed until the very end of the movie.

Ryan continued to kiss me, and he unhooked my bra, and soon the entire movie crew was gazing at my breasts, noticing I assumed how pert they were, with my large areolas and long nipples. My old boyfriend Mike had always loved my breasts, and he had plenty of pictures of them, that was for sure.

Ryan undressed himself, too, revealing to the world his rather large cock, and then as the script called for, I dropped to my knees, so that my eyes were level with his cock. His cock stood out from his body at a right angle, as if it were a bar to hang some clothes on, or something. I took his cock in my hand and moved my open mouth towards it, and seconds before my mouth engulfed it, the director yelled, "Cut!"

Whew. That was close. I had entered a trance and was about to give Ryan a blowjob. I had been channeling my times with Steve and all the blowjobs I had given him. I couldn't believe it! Talk about channeling memories. My memories had transported me back to the past. I actually loved giving men blowjobs. It gave me a feeling of power, of being in control, even if, with someone like Ryan, I knew that feeling was illusory. Still, the fact that I would have been pleasuring him was real enough. I knew what a blowjob could do to a man.

The next day we were scheduled to shoot the scene again. I was in complete panic. I was taught to rely on my experiences, to think back and relive things as needed when acting. That worked for blowjobs, okay, but it didn't work for anything else! I felt as if I had not had a normal sexual experience in my life, at that point! Well, except of course for the frequent blowjobs when I was with Steve.

I was desperate. I needed experience, memories I could summon, and I had none. What to do? What to do? What the fuck to do? I giggled when I realized the irony of my diction as I thought those five words. I called Michelle and we brainstormed over the phone, as I kept having to pause to hyperventilate. A consensus emerged. It was really the only option.

"Are you okay with the idea?" Michelle asked. She felt guilty: It was her idea.

"I don't have a choice," I said. "It's my only option to acquire 'memories' that I can summon."

"Yes, but are you okay with it?" Michelle asked again.

"Well, can you be there, you know, playing the role of an audience? Please? Pretty please?" I asked.