My Diary Ch. 01

This diary will chronicle my explorations into my sexuality and explorations of my deepest forbidden desires. Thank you for any feedback, D.

Chapter 1. March 27, 2010

I am somewhat confused and frustrated in my sexuality. I am a 28 year-old male and am relatively straight. I do, however, enjoy anal play during masturbation - a fact I have not shared with my fiancee.

Tonight I decided to start my diary of sexual explorations. I had just finished a little smoke and as I haven't come in several days I decided to look to the Internet for some inspiration. For tonight I have swung back to my transsexual fantasies and have "Ladyboy Fantasy 2" downloading in the background. Since it will take some time I am doing some research into the possibility of satisfying my "menage-e-trois" and pegging fantasy.

Before I get married this year I will visit the Bunny Ranch in Nevada and have a raunchy party with two gorgeous women that will each penetrate my ass with their ever-hard strap-ons. These sexy goddesses of carnal knowledge will eventually allow me to orgasm while performing the strap-on 69, a position I name "the scorpion of duality." As to tonight, since the porn has finished downloading, I will explore an old sensation. A sensation I first awoke when I was 18 and a virgin, both cock and ass. A sensation begun by a humble yellow Biro marker.

I have prepared by shaving myself nearly smooth and am now contemplating giving myself an enema to make sure my "pleasure hole" is ready for possible play. I might be discovered if I do. I'll flip a coin for it - just to make things a little more random and interesting, "heads" I go for the enema, "tails" I play it safe...I get a cocked tails, so I cheat and toss again...Heads.

I have succeeded in evading capture! My ass is now sweet and fresh and ohh so clean. It is almost time to lube up my pink and quivering ass for its meeting with a condomed and lubed-up toilet plunger.

My balls ache with the pent-up pleasure waiting to be released and my cock is engorged, displaying the micro blood vessels responsible for for the ecstasy to come. My uncircumcised cock is thrillingly sensitive and the tactile sensation of running my fingernail across the helmeted head is delicious. The common belief that an uncircumcised cock a filthy thing is a sad misconception. Mine is sweet to the taste and more responsive to the touch.

I slowly ease the foreskin over the head, until the skin pops over the little lip at the bottom of the head. In contrast to the beige shaft, the head is an angry purple and beads of pre-come have already oozed out of the opening. The head has a slight sheen and it feels like electricity is running through my loins when I touch it.

It is time to lube my aching hole. What should it be tonight? I have found that the desensitizing "Anal-Eze" lube is counter productive to the anally stimulating activity of "auto sodomia", I prefer the Nivea Body lotions or the Cocoa and Shea butter creams. The Vitamin E, Collagen and Elastin allow pleasure and lubrication, while at the same time keeping my hole firm and tight. The thought alone has raised my flagging cock. Shea butter it is then.

I have lit the candles and prepared my "lover". She is a little small, but my eagerness to feel the rigid plunger in my hole will more that make up for it. Now to turn on the she-male porno and straddle the object from the beginnings of my anal exploration. Here goes...

The sensations are indescribable. Waves of pleasure ripple through my anal region at the merest touch. Kneeling on all fours, I slowly insert the intruder. I slow even more and allow the sensations to catch up with my limbic system, it feels like a tree trunk entering my ass, yet it is only 6 or 7 inches. It is too much and I lie on my back, eying the computer monitor and its scenes of Asian transsexuals in a mess of human limbs and thrusting motions.

I don't last long and shoot fountains of come all over myself.

With the subsidence of the waves of pleasure engulfing me, the doubts and guilt re-appears. How do I deal with it? How do you deal with it? I appreciate all your comments and advice. We will meet again...when the ache of a desire unfulfilled again swamps my reasons for denying it. Adieu...