My Dilemma - Redux

"How invaluable?" I was playing it cagey but maybe my future wasn't so bleak.

"The company's policy is to pay for performance. You would start at above award rates with the house, vehicle, fuel and electricity included. If you reach production targets then bonuses are paid."

I did some quick figures in my head. The award rate for farm hand was about sixty five thousand and with the extras on top that wasn't too bad. The thought of staying in the family home was a huge incentive.

"I think we could come to an arrangement. I'd like to see the contract before I give my answer."

"But in principle you are in?" The consultant offered his hand to shake.

"Yep, I'm in." I shook enthusiastically.

They finished their beers and declined the offer of another as they had to get back to Dubbo that night. As they drove off Jane came out of the house with a fresh beer.

"What was that all about?"

"I've just been offered a job." I replied taking the beer and having a sip.

"Where?"

"Right here."

"Are you going to take it?"

"Well I've got nowhere else to be have I." My tone was flippant and condescending. I hadn't meant it as an insult but Jane took it that way.

"Well whose fucking idea was it to separate?" She hissed.

"And who has embraced it with gusto?" I retorted.

"I'll be gone next Friday, enjoy your empty fucking house." Jane spat before returning back inside.

Eighteen months later.

I checked my son's bow-tie and straightened his collar. Around the corner came a white limousine with a broad white ribbon going from one front door down to the emblem then back to the opposite side. The few stragglers hanging around the front of the church hustled inside to get their seats. I waited while the car pulled up and the driver came around to open the back passenger door.

My two daughters emerged from the plush interior followed by Jane. They all looked beautiful in simple elegant dresses, the girls in navy blue and Jane in white. No vail or fancy long train, proper I suppose for the second time around. An usher popped his head out the door and got the thumbs up from Jenny so he disappeared again. The strains of organ music filled the church and spilt out to where we were standing.

"Alright girls, off you go." I said to my daughters and they started their slow procession down the aisle.

I took Jane's hand, "are you ready?"

"Yes," she said.

With my son on the other side we walked down the aisle past the guests towards the minister at the front. Just past the front pews we stopped.

"Welcome, everyone, on this special day," the minister said as the final whispers and murmurs from the crowd went silent. "Who giveth this woman?"

I looked across at my son and we said in unison, "We do."

As Jane let go she turned her head towards me mouthing the words thank you before she walked forward and took the hand of her fiancée and soon to be husband Anthony.

I stepped back and sat with my son on the left front pew. The ceremony was a quick one then we went to a reception center close by. As the guests mingled I felt a bit out of place as the ex-spouse of the bride. I talked to Jane's sister for a while, she had been separated from her partner for seven months and she was having a tough time of it. She couldn't understand why I'd ever agreed to attend the wedding let alone give the bride away.

Back when we'd just separated I definitely wouldn't have but living apart had allowed the wounds to heal. When the sale of the farm was finalized Jane had bought a house in Orange. The house had a granny/nanny flat above the garage in the back yard. This allowed me to come and stay on weekends to see the kids but not be in Jane's face. I would usually turn up on Friday night if work allowed or Saturday morning then drive back on Sunday. Jane hadn't had enough money to buy the house herself so I'd kicked in some money. It worked for me because interest rates were so low on deposits it wasn't worth putting my half in the bank, so I charged her one percent below the bank mortgage rate. She got a cheap loan and I got more interest than I would have anywhere else. It also gave me some sort of moral right to stop there when I could.

There must be some truth in the old saying, absence make the heart grow fonder. As the months went by the acrimony between us had lessened. Indeed a couple of times we found solace in each other's arms. It was just sex, two people in need of some physical contact. Our friends with benefits stage was bought to an abrupt end when Jenny almost caught Jane sneaking back into the house when she was coming home one night after seeing a movie.

I was getting less time off by then. The manager's wife wasn't happy in the district so he left and I was promoted to manager. About the same time Anthony came on the scene as well. He was Jane's boss's son, he'd lost his first wife to cancer ten years before. I tried to hate him, I really tried hard but he was just too likable. In fact Jane even accused us at the wedding rehearsal of having a bromance. Still I was taken aback when Jane asked me to give her away at the wedding. Her father was dead and her mother was frail. I suggest our son but she wanted me as well. Anyway, when all was said and done it left me pretty chuffed.

The reception wound down and I decided to slip away hopefully unnoticed. It hadn't affected me in the church but seeing Jane introduced here as someone else's wife was different. She was no longer Mike Jeffress's ex-partner, she was now Mrs. Jane Turner. Seeing her dancing close during the bridal waltz I'd felt a twinge of jealousy.

I had another reason to sneak out. Jane's sister had consumed more than her share of the open bar and had already propositioned me twice. She was staying in Jane's house with the girls while Jane and Anthony were on their honeymoon. My son was coming with me to the farm in the morning. I was sleeping in the granny flat tonight and I was keen to get there and be in bed with the lights off before she got home.

I was out the side door and home free, or so I thought until a voice called out, it was Jane.

"Where are you sneaking off too?"

"It's a bit late for old farmers, we generally go to bed when the sun goes down." I joked.

"You haven't danced with the bride yet." She grabbed my hand to lead me back inside.

"No, maybe we will leave it for another time," I stayed firmly rooted to the spot, trying to calm my emotions.

Jane turned back and noticed the look on my face. The laugh on her lips died and her face softened. She stepped close and took my face in her hands.

"I'm sorry, I guess it's hard for you."

I just nodded not trusting my voice. She stood on tippy toe and kissed me full on the lips.

"Off you go," she said with a grin but she didn't let my face go. "You are a very special person Mike and I'm very lucky to have had so many wonderful years with you. I hope it works out with the Scottish vet."

"How do you know about that?"

"I have my sources. She'll be a fortunate woman if she can snare you."

We stayed frozen for a moment just looking into each other's eyes.

"Okay, let go before I cry." I said and she released my face. "Have a great honeymoon and all the best for the rest of your life with Anthony." I bent and kissed her, then spun around and walked away.