tagIncest/TabooMy Erotic Education - A Journal

My Erotic Education - A Journal

byrae121452©

I'm a used book dealer by trade, something that most people think of as the ultimate in boring. And, I have to admit, most of the time it is although I like it that way.

Anyway, I was attending one of my boring auctions of boring used books, a storage center cleanout on the outskirts of NYC when I stumbled upon something that was anything but boring.

There was one box of books that I checked out that was even less appealing than the others-1940's book club novels, old crossword puzzle books, the usual dregs that auctioneers combine to make up a box lot out of the throwaways. However, at the very bottom there were 3 bound journals that looked like they might be interesting. I leafed through the pages, stopping at random to read what was written. Within minutes I knew that I had to have that box and the journals it contained, no matter what the price. I carefully hid the journals back in the bottom and put the worst of the dregs on top to discourage any other possible interested parties. My strategy worked and I got the box and the treasure therein for less than $5.

I rushed home and spent hours reading those journals. Now, I'm going to share them with you.


I was raised by my grandfather. Both of my parents died while I was still an infant so my mother's father, a widower himself, took on the burden of raising me. My grandfather wasn't a bad man. He was just exceedingly cold and exceeding strict while at the same time highly religious. He also had been a participant in the War Between the States while a very young man which marked him for the rest of his life. He ran his world, and me, with military precision. From my youngest years I was subject to military discipline, everything about my life at its most Spartan and precise. I was an expert with firearms before I was 10 years old and could subsist alone in the woods indefinitely merely by relying on my own skills.

We lived in the rural wilds of Pennsylvania and my grandfather made sure that I had more than sufficient physical exertion. A 20 mile hike before breakfast was commonplace as were whole weeks of marching and climbing through the woodlands. In addition, he insisted that I maintain a daily regimen of running, exercising with weights and what we would now call calisthenics in addition to the daily physical labor required to maintain out household, all on a diet of the plainest and most frugal fare. I had grown into a young man of hard and compact muscle without any excess fat on my frame. Worse than any physical exertion, though, was his unbending rule regarding other people in our lives. I can count on one hand the number of times I had even spoken to a person other than my grandfather and I had never in my life been allowed to have what I could claim as a friend.

I was 19 when my grandfather died. It was ironic that someone who had never given me any indication that he possessed a heart would be felled by a massive attack to that organ. I tried but I really couldn't summon up much grief over a man who had been so uncaring toward me for my entire life. We had been having disagreements for the past few months anyway because I had informed him that as soon as I reached the age of 21 and was able to claim my inheritance from my parents that was being held in trust, I intended to leave and live in a city somewhere, anywhere, where I could interact with other people and find some enjoyment in living. What I felt more than anything else at his death was trepidation...I really didn't know what was to become of me.

I made the long trek into our little town and informed grandfather's lawyer of his death and burial. He pulled out a thick file which contained all of grandfather's business affairs and also his will. It turned out that I was named as his sole heir but also my inheritance was to be held in trust, again, until I reached 21 years of age. In the event that he died before I had reached that age, he named my uncle as his executor.

My uncle! For as long as I could remember, my grandfather had painted my uncle in every shade of black, calling him a degenerate, a fop, an unnatural creature. My uncle was my father's younger brother, my last living relative. My grandfather had made it clear over my life time how little regard he had for my father so maybe it was only natural that he would despise his brother, I told myself. Now, he had left my financial affairs and my very life in the hands of a man I'd never met and had only heard the most negative things about. My trepidation naturally ratcheted up another notch.

Our lawyer settled me in his office while he went to the nearby telegraph office to contact my uncle and apprise him of current events. When he returned, he supplied me with cash and instructed me to visit the town restaurant, have a meal and wait for him to retrieve me there. I had never dined in a restaurant before, let alone ordered my own meal but the kind proprietor guided me and I soon finished the first meal I had ever eaten that was not cooked by me or my grandfather. I was feeling like a real cosmopolitan when the lawyer arrived and told me that he had heard back from my uncle and that he would be at my grandfather's house at the earliest hour the next morning to see what must be done regarding my future.

I trekked back to grandfather's house and spent an almost sleepless night, only managing to fall into a troubled slumber shortly before dawn. It seemed like only minutes later that I was awakened by the sound of a carriage pulling up outside. I jumped up, wrapped a blanket around myself to cover the suit of underwear I had slept in and hurried downstairs to greet my infamous uncle.

Any expectation I had of a penny dreadful Mephistopheles was dashed when I opened the door. My uncle was an attractive man of between 30 and 40, dressed in elegant clothes and fastidiously groomed. He was my height while somewhat thinner, not nearly so muscularly developed. He had a handsome face and eyes that seemed to twinkle with slyness.

"So!" he said. "You must be my long lost nephew!" He stepped forward and wrapped me in a tight hug. "And quite a solid young man you are, too."

I returned his embrace somewhat shyly and asked if he would care for coffee.

"Excellent, excellent!" he proclaimed. "We've been traveling all night."

He then turned and called out, "Will, Will, Coffee!" It seemed every utterance out of my uncle's mouth was an exclamation.

A young man about my age appeared at my uncle's side, who looped an arm over his shoulder and said, "This is Will. My driver, my manservant and my best friend." The young man looked me up and down while I did the same to him. As I've said, he seemed about my age and we seemed to share a similar body type, thin but muscular. The major difference between us was that he had almost shockingly red hair and shining blue eyes.

"It's a good thing the old man is dead," I said. "He would have marked you as the devil's disciple with that flaming hair."

We all laughed and Will said, "I am the devil's disciple. He's standing right here." and looked at my uncle. "Now, let me help you get that coffee going, it looks like you just woke up."

My uncle and Will followed me into the kitchen and I saw them look at each other with looks of distaste.

I folded the blanket I was wearing, added fuel to the stove and went about preparing the coffee to cook. I was aware of both my uncle and Will watching me and it finally dawned on me that I was waltzing about the kitchen dressed only in my union suit.

"I'm sorry if I appear immodest." I said. "I'm not used to being with other people and I hadn't thought."

"On the contrary, my dear boy." my uncle said. "You're a welcome sight to my tired eyes. Many men would pay good money to be able to appear as appealing in a suit of underwear as you do. I just find it remarkable that someone as glorious as you could spring from such a grim environment."

"It is grim." I said. "I'd already told grandfather that as soon as I reached my majority I was leaving and never coming back. I want to see the world and what it has to offer."

"Believe me, the world will want to see you and all that you have to offer." my uncle said and looked significantly at Will.

"And it looks like there's quite a bit there to offer." he replied, looking back at my uncle with raised eyebrows. I wasn't at all sure what they were talking about but I liked it.

I served the coffee, aware the whole time of their appraising stares. Several times I caught one or both staring at my crotch or at my bottom and I began to feel self conscious that perhaps my underwear was spotted or unclean.

"I'll just go and dress while you have your coffee." I said.

"That will give Will and myself time to discuss a plan I have." my uncle replied.

I hurried back upstairs and put on my clothing, aware the whole time of the unfamiliar sound of voices murmuring in the kitchen.

When I returned, my uncle stood up and said, "It's all decided. You shall come back to the city with us. I couldn't leave a dog I didn't like alone in a gloomy old pile like this. And it will give you an opportunity to become acquainted with the ways of the world before you begin a life of your own."

"And the ways of your uncle, too." I heard Will mutter.

"Come!" my uncle said, "If we leave immediately we can be back in town late this evening. Will and I can share the driving so that nothing will delay us."

"But, I need to pack. I need to make sure things are taken care of."

"Leave everything." my uncle said. "We'll be buying you new clothes tomorrow and I'm sure that there's nothing here worth stealing. Let's go!"

I thought for only a moment and said, "I'm ready."

"I knew you were an adventurous boy." my uncle said, looking at Will.

We walked out, I locked the door and we mounted the carriage with Will in the driver's seat.

Needless to say, our journey lasted for hours. My uncle and I conversed much of the time about current events and his life in the city and I told him some particulars of my own past history. We stopped along the way where we could to buy food to eat on our way and occasionally for much needed attention to the calls of nature. I felt somewhat shy urinating in company so made sure to find a spot well shielded by the surrounding foliage, as did my uncle. Will seemed to have no such inhibition, pulling to a stop and relieving himself while leaning against the carriage side, sometime even standing on the carriage itself to empty his bladder. During his performances I found myself more than once staring at his organ, the first I had ever seen other than my own. Will seemed unfazed, even amused by my attention.

At one point during the early evening, Will and my uncle switched places. My uncle took over the driving chore while Will rode with me in the carriage. He soon fell to sleep and I, lulled by the rocking motion of the carriage, soon followed him.

I awoke in almost total darkness with only enough light to see that while I slept Will had moved to my side of the carriage and was stretched out beside me with his head on my lap. More concerning, I now had an aching erection under Will's dreaming head. I tried to move without waking him, slowly shifting my hips, only to look down and see Will's incredibly blue eyes staring up into my own.

"Lord!" he said. "I was dreaming I was sleeping with my head on top a crowbar. I'll probably have a crick in my neck from that thing." He reached up under his head and wrapped his hand around my rigid member. "I bet you're a popular boy with whoever is the lucky recipient of that favor."

"It looked to me when you were waving it around earlier like you are pretty well set up, yourself." I replied.

"There are those who enjoy my talents." he said.

I looked out of the window and I saw that we had finally arrived in the city.

"Look out." I said. "Do you know where we are and how much further we must go?"

Will sat up and looked out and said, "We're almost home. Your uncle must have played hell with the horses. It will be only minutes, now." Then, he looked down into my lap where my penis had started shrinking to something approaching normal dimensions and said, "We'll continue that conversation another day."

Shortly after we pulled up in front of what I now know is called a brownstone and climbed down from the carriage. We all climbed down, Will to lead the horses to the hire stable around the corner and my uncle to lead me up the front steps and into the house. He unlocked the door onto a hall that ran through the building, front to back, and a staircase that climbed one wall before us. He turned up one of the gas lamps on the wall and I was dazzled for a moment by the impression made by the rich wall covering and the gilt frames of the paintings on the walls.

"Welcome!" he said. "I hope you will enjoy your new home as much as I'm going to enjoy having you."

Will came up the front steps and entered the door just then.

"Horses and carriage all taken care of? Good! Now, since I know that you slept on the way back, you lazy scoundrel, maybe you will find enough energy to bring some cold sustenance upstairs to my room?" my uncle said.

"Your wish is my command." Will said, mock bowing and backing down the hall.

"And don't forget some wine, you cheeky bastard!" my uncle called after him.

He then led me up the stairs and threw open the first door on the landing.

"Enter!" he said.

I walked into a large room almost totally darkened until my uncle moved from place to place, lighting a candle each time he paused. Soon, the room was lit with a soft glow and I looked around me while my uncle lit a fire in the hearth. It was a large room with a deep red wall covering and deep red velvet curtains at the windows. Over the mantel I saw that there was an oil painting in a heavy gilt frame which depicted nude men in the throes of battle, their muscular, writhing bodies highlighted by the candles' glow. Against one wall and filling most of the floor space was an enormous bed, piled high with various exotic looking pillows and covered with various throws of rich oriental fabrics.

"I hope you don't mind but I'm afraid that you'll have to bunk in here with me tonight. We left in a dreadful hurry last night, not knowing what to expect at our destination. You may have been set upon staying at your grandfather's house or even worse, you may have turned out to be some mewling ninny that parroted your grandfather's opinions and views. Thankfully, neither is the case but we didn't prepare a room for you, in any event. It may take a few days to do so as I'll probably have to go out and buy you a bed. Anyway, it looks like we'll be sharing for a while if that's alright with you."

"It's fine with me." I said. "I've never slept in bed with another person. I hope I don't snore or thrash about."

"We'll deal with whatever may arise." my uncle said.

Will tapped at the door and entered carrying a heavily loaded tray.

"Good!" my uncle said. "I'm so hungry I could eat the proverbial horse. Put the tray on the floor in front of the fire, Willy boy."

"I've seen you try to eat things bigger than your head." Will replied and gave my uncle a loaded look.

My uncle ignored him and sat on the floor and poured wine into the 3 glasses on the tray.

"I've never had wine." I said.

"Well, if you get tipsy and foolish, we'll be sure to see that you get tipsier and more foolish." my uncle said and Will smirked.

We all began to eat and continued until we were each sated.

"I hope you've had enough." my uncle said.

"That was the equivalent of 3 days meals to my grandfather." I said.

"May he rest in peace but let's make a pact to forget about that old buzzard." my uncle said.

I was feeling the effects of my first and only glass of wine and I just repeated, "The old buzzard."

My uncle looked to Will and said, "Alright, first things first. I take it that you had the forethought to light the hot water geyser, Master Will, so it's baths for us all and then a good night's sleep."

"I live only to serve, master." Will said mockingly.

"Since you are the guest, tonight you shall have the honor of the first bath. We need to get you out of those horrid clothes anyway. If my friends see me waltzing about town with you dressed in that fashion they'll think I've taken up with some yegg. Tomorrow, we'll see what we can find of mine for you to wear and take you to my tailor to order some new togs. Now, up you get. Will shall help you undress."

I stood up and wavered on my feet from the wine and then looked around for a dressing gown or robe of some sort.

"No need for modesty, we're all boys here." my uncle said, lying back against the foot of the bed and watching me.

Will jumped up and helped me to pull my heavy sweater over my head, and then he unbuttoned my waist band and the buttons of my fly. He sank to his knees and untied my heavy shoes and I leant upon his shoulder as he helped me to remove each one and then my stockings. Then, he grasped my trousers at each side and pulled them to the floor where he again helped me to remove them from my feet. I was left standing in knitted union suit that I wore as my only undergarment. From his position on his knees at my feet, Will reached up and slowly unbuttoned the opening that ran down my front. He seemed to have some trouble with the last buttons at my crotch and I felt his fingers brush against my penis while he worked.

Against my will I felt my member stirring to life, thickening and stretching a bit as he worked.

Finally, all of my buttons were undone and he reached up to peel the suit over my shoulders. He stopped at my waist and helped me remove each arm from the suit.

"You have very nice musculature." my uncle said while Will smiled up at me.

Very slowly Will tugged the remaining part of the suit down until it pooled around my feet. Will's face was so close to my penis and testicles that I could feel his breath on them. He leant back to take a good look and said, "Very nice set." in a whisper. For some reason, maybe the wine, I didn't feel the least embarrassed or inhibited standing on nude display.

My uncle also was looking at my genitals and he said, "You're very well developed all over, I see."

Will removed the suit from my ankles and then stood up and put an arm around me, seeming to support me.

"Will is in the habit of helping me bathing and I'm sure he'll be happy to do so with you, too." my uncle said. "There is one other thing, though. That bush." He pointed at my rather luxuriant growth of pubic hair. "A gentleman maintains a manicured appearance on all of his body. Will has excellent barbering skills and he'll help you with cutting back some of that undergrowth. Right, Will?"

"It will be a pleasure." he replied.

Will guided me across the hall to another room, this one all white tile with a new style flush commode and a huge porcelain tub.

"Have a piss while I fill the tub." he said, then sat on the edge of the bath as I stepped up to the basin and used one hand to slide back my foreskin before letting loose a long, strong stream. He was so intent on watching me that the tub almost over flowed and he had to let some of the water back out through the drain.

"That's quite a cock you have there." he said.

I had never heard the word cock before and I grasped my penis and pointed it at him. "This?" I asked. "I've never heard it called that before."

"We do have some schooling ahead of us." Will replied.

He came over and guided me to the tub and supported me as I stepped in and I couldn't help but notice his hand rubbing over and caressing the cheeks of my ass.

I sank into the warm water and I said, "This is the first time I've ever had a hot bath. Grandfather said that cold made you tougher and prevented lascivious thoughts."

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