My First Acting Role

I am a 24 year old actor, well trying to break into acting. I have been on a thousand auditions and finally got a part in the play "Take Me Out". This play is about a gay baseball player coming out. I play a baseball player on his team - not a big role but I am in 8 scenes with 7 lines. It's not much but it's something. I found out one of the locker room scenes is a shower scene where 5 guys are showering with the gay player. The scene is for comic effect but the fact is it will have complete frontal nudity. After hearing that, I told the director that I couldn't do it.

Then I told to my mom about it. She said "when you're acting, you become that role. You do whatever it takes to make the audience believe you are that character. I shouldn't base my decision on a role because of some nudity. This could be the break I have been waiting for." So, I changed my mind and took the role.

For the first 3 months of rehearsals, we practiced the shower scene clothed but one week before the opening, it was time for true dress rehearsal. When the day arrived I never realized how many people were part of the crew(sounds, set, lighting, stage hands, etc.). It was time to strip and my heart was racing. I have never been naked in front of so many people in my life. Being center stage, naked with bright lights and every eye on you was humiliating. I looked over off stage and there was a group of 20-something girls standing there watching, giggling. There was nothing I could do - I knew I had to get used to it. The scene is about 2 minutes long but it felts like an hour. As I walked off set, the girls started to talk to me. They stood in front of my robe so I was still naked in front of them. They said I did great and was very brave. They have never talked to me before, why were they talking to me now. Was it just to continue to look at my naked body? It was a very strange feeling to be naked in front of clothed people.

Then on Opening Night, I was a wreck. I was so nervous I couldn't stop shaking. My heart was pounding, it felt like I was having a heart attack. I had been so focused on being naked in front of a large audience, what I didn't think about was my entire family was there to see my debut. My mom texted me that she bought some extra tickets for my aunts and cousins. I couldn't believe that I was going to be completely naked in front of my entire family. I knew I had to focus but couldn't think of anything else.

My nude scene was about to happen. I was off stage and could see my family in the audience - mom, dad, 2 sisters, brother and sister in law, 3 aunts, and 4 female cousins. I looked at the row behind my family and there were my parents' neighbors and a big group of their friends. I have known many of their friends since I was a boy. What did my mom do - invite everyone she knows?? She knows I'm going to be naked - what is she thinking?

The lights dimmed, I removed my robe, walked on stage and took my place. I was facing the audience completely naked. My face was so red that it felt like it was on fire. I looked down and my hands were shaking. The lights turned on and there was a huge gasp in the audience, then some laughing. I felt like every eye was on me. The lights were bright so you couldn't really see the audience unless you really concentrated on a certain area. Which I did - I was looking at where my family was sitting. Everyone was looking at me, my aunts were whispering to each other and to their daughters. My cousins were giggling and pointing right at me.

The scene was going on but I totally lost focused. All I could think of was being naked in front of my entire family. I didn't realize I missed my line and the Prompter was offstage yelling my line to me. My fellow actors all turned around trying to get me to say my line. Finally I snapped out of my daze, and I YELLED my line. It made the entire audience laugh which makes me realize even more that everybody was just staring at me and my naked body. I only had 1 line in that scene and I messed it up. Could it get any more humiliating?

My family joined me backstage for the after party. I know my face was still red having to face everyone who just saw me completely naked. Everybody was supportive, saying I did a great job. Nobody said anything about the nudity until my Uncle John said in a loud voice, "you know everyone could see you little weiner!! Everybody started laughing and then the teasing began. It was all out in the open and everyone made fun of me. My female cousins asked me how it felt to be naked in front of them? I just smiled and said it was part of being an actor. My female cousins came back to other shows bringing friends. I never got used to the nudity!!