My Fucked Up Freaky Life Ep. 01

Editor's note: this story contains scenes of incest or incest content.

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This is fucked up... and it's freaky... and it's a parody

Series Theme : Non stop fucked up and freaky sleaze and perversion... No filter... No shits given if it offends... The most twisted and trashiest sex series ever written

I wake up in a pool of vomit, piss and pussy juice... a pretty normal 12 pm wake up for me. You see... my life is all about sex, drugs and perversion. I'm a self made... mostly... billionaire. Sure my dad Dr Evil (from the Austin Powers movies) is rich from his attempted world domination exploits... and his movie career... but, I've made a lot of my money on my own, in the wacky world of perversion. It's otherwise known as porn, pimpin', drugs and freaky fun.

I served a little time... 18 months... in federal prison for my drug adventures, but it didn't affect my climb to the top of the previously mentioned, fucked up and freaky world of perversion. I'm the richest... and horniest... freak on earth... well, I don't know about Bill Gates... or that Amazon guy... but I'll claim it anyway.

Well, back to that pool of vomit, piss and pussy juice. I had a huge party last night... like pretty much every other night... the liquor... moonshine included... I make my own... flowed, and the weed, coke and X hung out with us as well. My cousin Spence (from The King of Queens) took a few too many pills and went crazy. He ran around the block... I live in Beverly Hills... nude, screaming, and pissed in my dad's... and a couple other's... pool.

My dad lives next door to me. My parents divorced several years ago. My Mom Kathie Lee (Kathie Lee Gifford) and my dad, both remarried. My mom and her wife Oprah (Herself) live with me. I love having mom around. She's a great cook, she's sweet, she goes out of her way to make me happy... and she's one of the best fucks ever.

My dad married a really sweet black lady Betty (Anna Maria Horsford from the Friday movies). I love her. She's a great cook too... and sexually, right up there with mom. My stepsister Dana (Regina King) lives with them, but she's at my house most of the time.

My stepbrother Scott (Seth Green) lives with dad and Betty too, but he spends a lot of time at my place also. I made a video last night of Dana and Scott fucking... for my website. I've fucked Dana a ton, but it was her first time with Scott. He had trouble keeping it up for the whole scene. I had my girlfriend... I have many... pornstar Lisa Sparxxx, fluff him. He came in Lisa's mouth and couldn't get it up again, so I let Spence fuck her. He did a lot better. Dana looks so fucking sexy when she gets fucked. Spence jizzed in her pussy. Lisa made Scott eat it out of Dana's twat... he and Spence are both bisexual.

I drank a little too much... and definitely smoked a little too much. After I fucked my main wife Kim Kardashian... I have a bunch of them... I passed out and here I am. Kim is beside me, still asleep. She's only wearing a white bra... that world famous booty is on full display. God, I love my wife's ass.

I move down to Kim's ass and spread her cheeks. I fucking smile. I shove my tongue all the way up her booty and toss her salad. I wiggle my tongue in her booty... Kim moans... and I smack the fuck outta her ass... Kim moans again. I eat out Kim's ass for a half an hour. It's one of my favorite things to do.

I finally climb on top of Kim and push my, mostly hard cock, against her anus. It pops through and slides slowly up that awesome ass. I just groan... the feeling of slowly sliding your cock up Kim Kardashian's booty, is one the true great pleasures in life. I smile and half hungover fuck my wife's ass, laying on top of her.

Kim smiles her gorgeous smile, as she wakes up, putting her left hand on my face. "Mmmmmmmmmmmmm... feels so good James." Kim kisses me, as I freak pump up her booty at a steady, deep pace. My big, thick cock plunges all the way up her tight booty... it's amazing... over and over and over. My body weight pushes Kim into the mattress, as my throbbing cock stretches her anus wide, plunging faster and faster now. I grunt and booty fuck my main bitch.

My cock goes into overdrive, drilling up Kim's perfect booty, insanely fucking fast. The bed creaks and shakes. "FUCK!! OH MY GODDDDDDDDD!! I LOVE YOU JAMESSSSSSSSSS!!" Kim squirts freakishly hard, all over my gold, silk sheets. I grunt a guttural groan and blast my wad up Kim's world famous booty, as I lay on her. My cock pumps my creamy seed quickly, blasting it up Kim's awesome ass. "Mmmmmmmm." Kim moans, sexually pleased, smiling happily and rubbing my face.

Kim keeps moaning, when I start pissing in her cum filled booty. That is the greatest feeling ever, pissing in a woman's ass... especially Kim's... right after you cum in it. My piss pours put of Kim's ass, as I pull out. I slide my cock back up Kim's phat ass and finish pissing. I roll off of Kim and yawn. My cock and I are both fucking smiling. I pimp slap Kim's ass and squeeze it. My hands spend a lot of time, each day, on my main wife's perfect booty.

As I'm squeezing Kim's ass, my phone rings. It's my dad. I pick it up and my dad is already talking. "I don't know what the frick is going on around here. I went for my morning swim in my frickin' pool and now I smell funny... what the frickin' hell is going on around this frickin' place son?"

In the distance, I hear my stepmom, "shhhush!"

"Sorry hun." Dad apologizes to Betty...his pinkie against the corner of his mouth.

"Oh... sorry dad. Spence got too high last night and he pissed in your pool."

"WHAT?... oh great... now I have my frickin' idiot nephew's urine all over me... frickin' wonderful."

"Sorry about that... I'll pay to get it cleaned."

"I CAN'T FRICKIN' BELIEVE WHAT THE FRICKIN' HELL GOES ON AROUND THIS FRICKIN' PLACE... I'M DR FRICKIN' EVIL AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FRICKIN' SWIM IN MY FRICKIN' POOL WHEN I FRICKIN' WANT TO WITHOUT SMELLING LIKE FRICKIN' PISS BECAUSE MY FRICKIN' IDIOT NEPHEW GOT FRICKIN' HIGH AND PISSED IN MY FRICKIN' POOL... I FRICKIN' MEAN IT!!"

My stepmom Betty tries to get dad to relax, but he's frickin' pissed. She comes up with an idea. "I know what will calm your butt down." Betty kneels down, unzips my dad's gray pants and pulls out his skinny 8 inch cock. She sucks it deep... Betty is a world class cocksucker. Betty's full, luscious lips wrap tight around my dad's skinny white dick. She bobs her short black haired head fast, twisting her mouth on my dad's rod, cupping his hairless balls. "Oh my... yes... that's quite nice... thank you very much." Dad stands there, with his pinkie to the corner of his mouth, as my stepmom sucks his dick all the way down, licking his balls. Betty bobs her head faster and my dad pops in her mouth. His thick seed oozes down Betty's throat, as she moans happily and sucks. Mama loves eating jizz. Betty swallows his whole load, then puts his dick back in his pants. It worked... My dad shuts up.

"There... now don't you yell at my stepson anymore. Hi baby. I'll be right over, to suck your beautiful cock baby. "

"Hey mama. Ok" I hang up.

About fifteen minutes later...

I'm watching my mama Betty deepthroat my entire 10 thick inches of white meat. She's playing with my hard nipples while she sucks me off. She licks my huge balls, with my entire cock in her mouth. I roughly squeeze Kim's ass and groan... It feels so fucking good. Betty's sexy black head, with her short, beautifully styled black hair, bobs rapidly on her stepson's precum pouring, white cock. Mama smiles up at me... we're stretched out on my bed... "You want my cum don't you bitch?" I ask her, so fucking turned on by my stepmom.

"Mmmmmhmmmmm." Mama moans it, nodding, her horny tongue wrapped around my shaft.

"Here it cums mama... Here it fucking cums!" I blast my mama's mouth, with my thick, creamy jizz. She moans happily and swallows every fucking creamy drop. I keep pumping it in and Betty keeps drinking it down. She bobs her head quickly on my cumming cock, licking the underside, as she lustfully looks right at me and eagerly gulps down my massive load.

Betty sucks me totally dry, moaning her taste approval of my jizz. She licks my entire cock and huge balls, kissing every inch of them. She crawls up to me. We kiss and I roughly grope her thick black booty. I smack it and squeeze it so fucking hard... shit, I love my mama's thick ass. We molest each other's tongues, as we sloppily kiss.

Mama grabs my still rock hard cock and slides it up her juicy, black pussy. I smack her phat booty and pull her pussy back and forth on my throbbing white meat. My wet pussy hugs my rod tight, as I thrust up her pussy all the way, every fucking hard inch pumping up that mature, bushy black pussy.

I squeeze Betty's ass and pull her faster on my cock. Mama moans, and squirts insanely fucking hard, all over my cock. It drives me harder. I pound my thick white meat up her beautiful, black pussy harder and faster, my white cock twitching happily inside her wet folds. Betty's pussy clenches hard on my rampaging shaft, as I pull it across my, hard as steel cock, faster and fucking faster.

Mama cums again, screaming lustfully loud into my mouth. I push my white dick all the way up her warm, super wet, black twat and CUM motherfucking... literally... hard. I keep pushing deep up mama's spasming pussy. My jizz blasts out of my throbbing dick and all the fucking way up mama's sweet black pussy.

I keep cumming over and over, flooding my black mama's beautiful pussy. I wanna get her pregnant... and she wants it too. My cum pours out the sides of Betty's cunt and coats my balls. "You got me pregnant baby... I can feel it. I wanna have a bunch of your babies. Mmmmmmmm." Betty says, with a horny smile on her sexy face, kissing me deeply, grinding her sweet black, mature pussy on my oh so fucking happy, white cock. Kim wakes up and smiles at me.

Mama climbs off of my cock and Kim and mama lick and suck my cock and balls clean. They slowly lap up the jizz, off of my cock and balls. They kiss and swap it, kissing my cock and balls, as they smile up at me... I fucking love, my fucking life.

Later in the afternoon...

I'm laid out by the pool, relaxing on my lounger, my mom Kathie Lee laid back on my lounger, the back of her head on my chest. She's wearing the hottest bikini ever... very skimpy, red, barely covers her nipples and pussy. I'm playing with her mature tits, pulling her bikini aside, rubbing the tips of her perky, thick nipples. "Mmmmmmmm..." Mom rubs my legs as I play with her beautiful titties.

She rubs her tummy and smiles up at me. Mom is pregnant with my baby. She's such a sexy fucking pregnant chick. She's only just over a month pregnant, but she already has the glow. I pull her thick nipples and her milk shoots out. We laugh. I aim her nipples all over the place, pull them hard and shoot her milk all over my pool area... Some even makes it into the pool.

Another of my wives, Penny (from The Big Bang Theory) comes up to us and gets in the lounger too, sucking moms titties, drinking down her milk. Penny's tongue licks all over mom's tits as she sucks them hungrily. I raise up mom's booty and slide my dick up it. Mom's moans from Penny's titty sucking... and my big cock sliding up her well toned ass. Mom bounces on my thick cock, as Penny continues sucking her milk down.

I smile, loving every second of thumping my mother's mature booty. My thick cock rails up her ass, as she bounces hard on it. Mom screams out in pleasure and squirts all over Penny. Mom's juices explode out of her cunt. Penny moves to moms pussy and sucks it, her tongue wiggling in mom's super wet snatch.

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... SUCK AND FUCK MEEEEEEEEEE...YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Mom screams, loving having her horny holes worked over. Penny laps up mom's pussy nut, as mom slams down harder on my thighs, as I drill up her sweet booty harder. I cum blast mom's beautiful booty, pumping my jizz deep up it. I take a deep breath and finish filling mom's ass.

Penny pulls my cock out of mom's ass and sucks it clean, slowly sucking and licking, jerking it with her left hand at the base. "Mmmmmmmm... My hubby has the tastiest jizz." Penny smiles at me and continues sucking my clean. I kiss mom, playing with her milk dripping titties, fucking her tongue with mine.

"He sure does... and he's the most handsome and sweetest son a mom can hope for." Mom kisses me, licking my tongue. I smile, so fucking in love with my mom.

I start pissing in Penny's mouth, as I make out with mom. Penny smiles and moans her approval, as she drinks down my warm yellow cocktail. I watch Penny drink my piss, as I kiss mom. Penny winks at me. She pulls my cock out of her mouth and let's my piss spray all over her perfect face, and awesome, long blonde hair. Penny puts my pissing cock in mom's pussy, letting me finish pissing in that soft, warm, mature cunt. I groan and mom moans into my mouth. Penny licks my base and balls, as I finish pissing in mom's milf pussy. Penny kisses all over my balls and shaft, as my cock falls out of mom's loving cunt. Penny sucks me clean and licks mom's auburn landing strip topped pussy clean also.

To be continued...