My Girl?

Going to see a counselor was not his idea. He knew he had some things he needed to work out. The harder he tried to work them out, the tighter of a hold they seemed to have on him. While sitting in the waiting area he was thinking if this was even worth his time any longer. He had her now. He is progressing in moving on in life. That was the goal was it not?

Should he tell his therapist about his girlfriend during this visit? It was still strange for him to admit that he has a girlfriend. But they had talked about it and both agreed that they are boyfriend and girlfriend.

His therapist, an attractive lady just a few years younger than him, was very professional and very stern. She would not allow him to get away with any half answered question or his attempt to hide any deeper within himself. He hated the continuous scab peeling that happened, but was happy when the fresh area was allowed to breath. Plus the pleasure after the pain was always worth the slow peel.

The session started the same way. How does he feel, has he been journaling, does he still feel like he is building walls, has he reached out to make friends and does he take time for himself.

Good, yes, yes, sort of and kinda.

The answers rolled off of his tongue with no effort. They were the same type of questions he is asked by everyone that talks to him.

He was ready to answer the next round of questions with his just add water answers when he noticed that she had stopped writing and was quiet. No questions, no shuffling of papers and no movement.

He raised his eyes from their normal view of his lap and hands to look at her. She was was looking at him. Her pen lifted to her cheek, her lips closed and her eyes on his. It appeared that he could see a smile in her eyes.

"Sort of?" She asked.

"I am sorry?" He replied with a slight shake of his head.

"I asked if you have reached out to make new friends and you said 'Sort of'. Each visit, you say yes. I have always known that when you answer that question, you answer it in the way you think I want to hear. You have finally answered it in the way I needed to hear. With truth."

"I have been truthful! I have thought about trying to go meet friends. Does that not count?" He said a little too quickly. He then sat back and slumped in his chair. Chiding himself for basically admitting he had been trying to push one over on her the many times she had asked.

Man, she is good. She actually listens to me. He thought.

He looked back up to her and saw that she was still looking at him. She was looking at him in the same way she did before letting him know he had lied to her. No judgment, no accusations and no hurt.

Well, here it goes. He thought to himself. I might as well tell her now.

"I have met a new friend. She is someone that is very dear to me. We have become close and we have been spending a lot of time together."

That was not too bad, he thought to himself. It actually felt good to not hide something in his life for once. An emotion he allowed to escape. A part of him that he considers good has been exposed to the world now.

As he walked out of the session he felt good. Almost happy if you will. Someone else knows that he has met someone. His therapist knows that he is no longer hiding his life from everyone. This is one other person besides her that he is allowing to know more of him.

He met with his girlfriend almost every day. He took her out to dinner, a movie, putt putt golf and even walked hand in hand along the canal. It was during the canal walk he decided to kiss her. He had battled with himself the entire week whether or not he should push the relationship.

It is a kiss. He told himself. A way to let her know that he likes her and has feelings for her. It goes above telling her that he thinks of her all of the time and actually showing her that he wants to be close to her.

That was all of the reasoning he needed. It has been too long since he had experienced a kiss. Too long to feel the affection of a beautiful woman. Too long to know that someone was thinking of him too.

During their walk, he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. When he lowered their hands he felt her squeeze his hand tighter and lean her head on his shoulder as they walked. She had accepted the kiss on the hand and returned the affection. He had to keep looking down to see if his feet were still on the ground because he felt he was floating in the clouds.

After he pulled up to her apartment, he put the car in park then reached over to hold her hand again. He noticed that she instantly put her hand in his and smiled. He was happy. For the first time in a long time, he was happy. He turned to her and leaned towards her and was excited to see her do the same.

They kissed. Then kissed again.

It was so natural and wonderful. The connection and joy he felt was indescribable. He walked her to her door and they kissed again.

"Thank you." He said

"Thank you for what?" She replied after she unlocked her door.

"For being you. For making me smile."

"You are welcome. You know you deserve to smile more. You should be out in the world and let everyone see you!" She said as she looked in directly in his eyes.

He lowered his eyes and then his head. After taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly he looked back in her eyes. He pulled her to him and kissed her. A long kiss while placing his hands on her waist. He felt her wrap her arms around his neck and return the kiss.

After they pulled away, he stared in her eyes. He allowed her eyes to swallow his soul. He felt wanted by her. She wanted to see him. She wanted to walk next to him and hold his hand.

"I am trying. I really am. You are helping me. A lot. I want to be out in the world and be seen with you. You make me smile and I think I like that a lot." He said then gave her another quick kiss.

He met with his counselor the next day.

Good, yes, no, yes and yes he answered with a smile on his face.

"What a change I see!" She said as she folded her hands in her lap and looked at him. A gentle smile formed on her face as he looked back at her with a large smile on his.

"Would you like to tell me about the changes in your answers?" She said as she sat back in the chair.

"I have a girlfriend!" He blurted out even before her back touched the chair.

"You did mention that at our last meeting. Well, you alluded to it." Did you two acknowledge the relationship as being a boyfriend and girlfriend to one another?

"Well, yeah, but we kissed. We held hands and we kissed." His left hand began to fumble with the hem of his shorts while he held the right hand out towards her. As if he were proving the hand he was presenting her was the one that held her hand.

"That was good for you then? You have progressed in your relationship to the point of physical contact."

"It was very good. I mean, her lips on mine. But, uh, but, we held hands. We gave up part of each other and held hands. I liked kissing. A lot! But she actually reached over to hold my hand!" At this time, both of the hems on his shorts legs were inline with one another and perfectly flat.

"Holding hands means more to you than kissing?" She said leaning forward a little.

"I cannot say it means more. It does mean a lot to me. It means so much!" He looked away from her and looked at the window. His smile had not changed.

She picked up her notebook and poised her pen to write. "Would you mind telling me why it is so important to hold hands?"

"Because, she is giving me part of herself. She trusts me to hold onto her and protect her. She trusts me so much that she knows that I can protect her with one hand if I need to. I can pull her into me from danger with one and protect her with the other! I prove to her that I trust her by giving her my hand. She can hold it and pull me to see the things she wants to see. Because she wants to share them. Share them with me. She knows that I will want to see them because it is something she likes."

He noticed that his breathing rate had increased and he began to daydream about holding her hand as they were walking.

"I noticed in your journal from last week that you did not mention that you had held hands. So, this is new in the relationship?"

As he looked back at her, she noticed that he appeared to blush.

"Yes it is. She really likes me. I like it."

He left this weeks journal with her and picked up the one he left from last week. As he was walking to his car, he felt like whistling. So he did. A pure and joyous tone escaping from his lips. The lips that touched hers. Maybe she unlocked the pure joy within him and he could no longer contain the feeling. He had to express his feelings and the sweet sound of a whistle was the best way his body could express that feeling.

Each week his journaling became easier. He felt comfortable expressing his emotions on paper. At first, handing it to her during the counseling sessions was scary. He was handing a part of his hidden life to her. However, when the next week arrived, she treated him with the same courtesy and respect that she did at their first session. He felt like she was there to help him and keep him focused. He was feeling like he can trust her and she was there to support and not judge.

Their relationship was growing. He told her that they have become physical and that he is using protection. "No need to worry" he told her. "I am not ready to be a daddy when I have so much more of me to figure out."

As he sat across from her, she noticed he kept touching his bottom lip or drawing it back into his mouth.

"I see that you have a cut on your bottom lip. Are you ok? Did you fall?"

She leaned in and took a closer look then said, "Oh, it looks like you bit your lip!"

"I am ok." He said as he brought his hand up to his mouth again.

She saw his eyes smile as he turned his head.

"I um, I wrote about it in my journal. It gets a bit graphic. But, uh, you said write about my feelings and emotions and what makes me happy and sad. So, I wrote about the event that happened with my lip."

The rest of the session went very well. He was expressive and animated. He discussed future plans of taking days off of work and traveling. He even talked about taking a vacation.

As he was walking out he reached into his right hand pocket and pulled out his phone. She heard her ring tone so she closed her office door and and went to her phone. Picking it up, she realized it was not her phone that rang. She thought she should change her ringer since someone else in the other offices obviously had the same as hers. She giggled at the thought of calling her own phone and the other person picking up theirs and answering. It was a silly thought, but it still made her laugh.

Her next client canceled so she decided to read a little bit his journal in order to get ahead for next week.

Monday

I talked a little more at my session today.

I have become a little more comfortable talking with her. I really do think she is on my side and is trying to help me.

I am not sure how much longer she would like to meet with me. I am getting out now. I have a girlfriend. I am happy!

We are not going to be able to see each other tonight. That is ok because I need to get some things done around the house. That is the best thing about texting!!

Tuesday

Going to be working the part time job today. The guys are kidding me a lot because they do not think I have a girlfriend. They said they want to meet her because they want to see who would be dumb enough to like me. I cannot get mad at them kidding me. That is what we do.

Work was not bad today. I enjoy staying busy. I will take a quick and hot shower then go pick her up to go out to dinner.

We had a great time out. We were laughing so much and probably got a little too loud that the manager came over and asked if everything was ok. I think I probably blushed. It kind of felt like I was a school kid and just got in trouble.

We came back here and was able to enjoy some more time together. I have been a gentleman and have taken things very slowly. But our petting is getting a lot hotter and heavier. While we were kissing on the couch, I laid back a little and pulled her onto me with my leg positioned in between hers. I had my hand on her butt and pulled her into me a little and I felt her begin to thrust her hips on my leg. I was surprised when she pulled away and apologized.

I thought I had done something wrong, but she assured me that I did nothing wrong. She said she did not want to go too fast and did not want to rush me. We kissed a little more but not too much went on with the physical touch after that.

Wednesday

Shift day.

I knew we would not be able to see each other but we did text a lot. Well...when I was not out on runs.

Thursday

I will be at my part time work until 6 tonight.

By the time I get off of work and get cleaned up, it will be too late to go out for dinner. So, after I get cleaned up, I will pick her up and we will go out for some ice cream.

Even spending a little bit of time with her makes me happy.

Friday

What an amazing time! After I got home from work and had my shower I went to her place and picked her up. She always waits for me outside because she lives with her mom and her mom is very particular about who comes in the apartment.

After dinner we took a walk in a park and sat on a bench. I put my arm around her and pulled her close. We sat and talked and laughed a lot. We talked about how it would be nice to take a blanket and spread it out in the field on the other side of the trees. How nice it would be to lay with one another and enjoy the sun shining down on our faces. Then she said she would love to feel the sun all over her skin. The thought of that got me very excited. She took her hand and put it on my leg. I turned my head to look at her and when I did, I felt her hand squeeze my leg. She also leaned forward and began to kiss me very aggressively and passionately. When she pulled away she said we needed to go back to my house.

When we got back to my house it was a flurry of activity. We were kissing and touching and rubbing more than we ever had. It felt like we had reached a time in our relationship where we were ready to give ourselves to one another.

As we were kissing, I lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist. We kissed the whole way into the bedroom and continued to kiss as I sat her on the bed. When I stood up we both began to undress. My excitement at seeing her naked was proven by the drops of precum that peeked out of my head. She leaned forward and with a quick flick of her tongue, she licked away my wetness.

She leaned back and I lowered myself to my knees. I lifted her legs and put a foot on each of my shoulders as I leaned in and let her know that I not only could lick her with a quick flick of my tongue, but with slow and firm licks too. She encouraged me with the sounds she was making. Her moans and saying yes and calling out my name let me know that I was pleasing her.

I laid back on the bed and pulled her on top of me. She straddled my leg and I could feel my leg getting wetter and wetter as she began to grind her hips.

I was in awe. The way she looked at me made me feel as if we had become one person. Such a close connection that we would exsanguinate if we were separated.

She lifted her leg and repositioned herself so that she could rub her clit and along her slit without me entering. She told me that since we did not have protection, she did not want me to enter her. I did not complain because it felt as if we were floating through a sea filled with soft touches. Sailing along by a wind of passionate kisses. Enduring the biting sting of the sun on lips.

She had lowered herself to bring her mouth to mine and we kissed again. Her hips thrusting faster and harder. I was able to hear her wetness as I was being stroked by her movements. She said she was getting close and said she wanted me to cum with her. When she said NOW!, I felt myself slam back to reality with the arcs of creamy, semi-opaque pleasure land with a trail from my shoulder down to below my navel.

Her moan was muffled because she had been biting on my bottom lip as we came together. She planted her hands on either side of my chest and sat up, then laid down on the bed next to me.

I ran my tongue along my lips and tasted blood. I quickly raised my hand and dapped a finger on my bottom lip and lifted it to my eyes. I saw a little bit of blood on the side of my finger and realized she had marked me with her teeth. I sighed and reach over to put my hand on her thigh. I needed to feel her skin again because it felt like it was all too good to be true. We showered and I drove her back to her apartment. She apologized for biting my lip so hard and gave it a little kiss when she said good bye.

I have no idea what I have done to deserve how happy I feel, but I am enjoying every second of the feeling.

Saturday

Shift day

We texted again today. The guys have noticed that I have been happier lately and have been kidding me. But I know that they are kidding because that is what we do.

Sunday

I picked her up and brought back to my place for brunch. I prepared poached eggs. Fresh fruit. Yogurt with granola. Coffee and juice.

We had a nice drive in the country after brunch. We talked and laughed. She is really making me a better person.

She closed the journal and sat with her hands resting atop of the notebook. He has made wonderful progress and has found someone that has made him truly happy. She is truly happy for him and decided that she would like to meet the lady that has had such a positive impact on his life.

The next Monday she was encouraged to see that he was still in good spirits. He filled her in on the time they were spending together and did not seem embarrassed about the previous journal entry. His lip had healed and she did not notice any other injuries or marks as he stated.

She mentioned that she would like to meet his girlfriend and he appeared to perk up even more. He agreed that it would be a great idea and said he will ask her if she would like to come next week.

A break from the office is a rarity. When two clients canceled at the end of the next day, she took advantage of the opportunity. Taking her tote that contained a few books, she decided to stop at a local coffee shop. When she arrived, she sat down with a cup of coffee and lost herself in the words.

After reading for about an hour, she looked up from her book and saw him standing at the entrance of the bookstore. Not wanting to engage a client on her time away from the office she decided to not get his attention. However, she noticed that he appeared to be very animated and having words with someone. Because of where she was sitting, she was unable to see where he was directing his frustrations. It did appear to her that he was frustrated and beginning to get upset.

He turned and walked out of the coffee shop, still upset and voicing his concern while gesturing with his arms. At times while he was walking through the parking lot she could see him throw his arms above his head as if to say, "I give up."

She lost sight of him as he rounded a corner and was tempted to get up and watch him until he reached his car. Instead, she sat back, pulled out her notebook and made a note of his behavior.

Public display of frustration

Talking to himself

May need to learn self calming techniques

What was the cause of the outburst

A few days later he sent her an email and asked if it would be ok if his girlfriend called her to ask some questions. After letting him know that she encouraged her to call, she asked if he thought she was going to accompany him on Monday. He replied that he was not sure but thought that is why she wanted to call.