My Heart Can't Tell You 'No' Ch. 02

It was 3 days before Christmas, and I woke up alone. I went to bed with someone, but she was gone. As the clouds in my head were clearing, I heard the toilet flush, and my door quietly opened, then shut, and then I felt her climb naked back into bed, and her cold feet rubbed on my bare legs. And then I felt her tuft of curly hair rub against my hip. Then she snuggled in with a soft, "Mmmm."

I took a deep breath and relished in all the senses since they had come alive. Her hair, which smelled of berries. Her scratchy pubic hair, like a security blanket, rubbing on my hip and leg, making me feel loved. Her perky breasts pressed up against me, feeling soft and firm and warm all at once. Hard nipples, either from the cold or excitement, or both. Her cold feet, reminding me that it was winter. And the feel of the satin sheets she bought for my bed as a Christmas present, reminding me that my cock was starting to come to life as it grew along that fabulous material.

"Whatcha thinkin', Jase?" She asked. She continued to rub her hair on my hip, and she "accidentally" brushed my southern brain, bringing it fully to life.

"Mmm, I was thinking, maybe we should visit each other at Christmas. Are we ready to meet each other's parents yet?"

"Not sure what my parents are doing, but I could probably come over to your place between Christmas and New Year's if you'd like. But honestly, I'd rather just be with you here." Then quickly changing direction, "January 2nd are you gonna help me move my stuff into my new place?"

"All you need is the bed, my dear. And maybe something slutty to wear. But yes, I plan on helping you move."

"Mmmm, wearing something 'slutty' is fun, but I prefer 'nothing at all'."

And lightning quick, she was on top of me, rubbing her lips above my fully hard appendage she seemed to love so much, and seemed headed towards my belly button. "You seem to have terrible aim, dear. I may be huge, but not quite THAT huge," I said in my most braggadocio manner. I wasn't "huge", but she always told me I was "just right" which was how I felt when we were together.

I tried to move my hips to get closer to her sweet spot, but then she quickly jumped up and out of bed, and leaned against the door. "If you're 'SO HUGE', then get me over here, Stud."

As quickly as she had moved, I was even faster than she had been, and was standing in front of her in the blink of an eye, but she knew the routine. We were going to destroy that door someday. She jumped up and wrapped her strong legs around me as I quickly entered her. I pumped and hammered her against the door, both of us being loud and vocal since almost everyone in the apartment complex had gone home for Christmas. And almost embarrassingly quick, I filled her yet again. Second time that night I emptied my load inside her willing body, maybe the hundredth time or more since we started being together.

If she sucked me off or jerked me off or if I fingered her or ate her out, an orgasm left us extremely sensitive; too much so to touch. But when we finished like this, with me inside of her, and she wrapped around me, joined at the hips, we could stay together a long time. I really felt like I could stay inside her like this for eternity.

We were playing with fire. She was on the pill, but unless one of us was sterile, the odds of something slipping past the goalie had to be close.

Later that morning we were both getting cleaned up in the shower together before going our separate ways for over a week, I asked her again, "Would you like to come by my parents' house or have me stop by yours'? It's gonna be over a week before we see each other again?"

"And say what, 'hey, I'm here to fuck your son or daughter? That probably won't go over well."

"Don't you guys have a hay loft or something? When I would help my uncle bale hay my cousin and I always made a fort. Are you saying you never made a nest?"

For some reason that comment went over like a fart in church. "So you fucked your cousin in the hay loft?"

"No, HE and I never thought that sounded fun. I'm sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood. But seriously, I just want to see you. We don't have to be physical. I'd like to meet your parents and also have my parents meet you if we intend to spend more time together. You DO intend on spending time with me, don't you?"

"Yes, Jason, of course. But going home really stresses me out. I just want to get this over so we can come back out here, I can move into my new place, and start over."

"Start over?"

"My own room, my own space, and you..." she replied.

We parted company with a long kiss and headed home. I followed her half way for my two hour trip. She lived about an hour away from college, about halfway between my hometown and our college. I had her address and I let her turn off and gave her about a 15 minute headstart, then looped around to see what her family ranch looked like. But before I got to the ranch I found what looked like her jeep at the neighbor's small house and an open garage with a beat up old truck parked inside. I cruised on by her homestead, but saw no sign of her jeep.

"Well, maybe it was her jeep, maybe not. Maybe I had the wrong address. Who knows, I was just curious," I said to myself. I also realized I must be hungry because I had a gnawing pain in my stomach that I told myself was hunger. And the warning bells going off in my head? I couldn't explain them away so I just ignored them.

****************************************

Christmas was fine. Family asked about a girlfriend and I told them the family friendly parts of Darcy I could. And I beamed whenever I thought about her. I briefly talked to her twice, and texted a bit, but never got a chance to see her over break.

I talked with Ryan a little and swung by his parents' house on my way back to college. We spent New Year's Eve at a local bar. My mediocre fake ID worked there, too. But the bartender was a friend of his Dad's so he didn't get carded. He told me Dawn had "moved in" with her grandma several states away, and was going to give their baby up for adoption. He was relieved yet sad. He also never got a chance to talk it over with Dawn since her phone had been disconnected and her Dad wanted to kill Ryan.

"It's for the better, dude. She would have made you miserable. She DID make you miserable. You are not the same friend I met 2 years ago when we moved into that dorm room our first semester. I want him back."

He was hurting, and he was drunk, so it wasn't the best thing to say. And he let me know it. And I was sorry. My pep talk skills needed worked on, but I did love him as a brother and wanted to make him feel better. Eventually I did.

Then it was his turn. "How are things with you and Darcy?"

"Pretty good, I think. I wanted to meet he parents and have her meet mine, but it didn't work. Maybe I will call her tomorrow.

Ryan and Darcy knew each other somewhat in high school. Rival towns and school districts but they did some Future Farmers of America stuff together and he knew more about her than he had told me. He promised we would take a ride tomorrow.

New Year's Day we got up and took a drive. He pointed out a couple of nice ponds and lakes, where he shot his first deer, the open trout stream, went through his town and he showed me the high school, then to Darcy's town. He had me pretty well lost, and we came by Darcy's ranch. "Her parents' ranch. Nice place. See her jeep?"

I looked, "No, but maybe it's inside..."

Then the next farm was what Ryan said was the "hired hand" place. He asked again, "See her jeep?"

I did see the garage was closed this time, but the beater truck was parked outside. He wanted me to connect the dots, but I couldn't. No, I wouldn't connect them. I loved her, and she deserved the benefit of the doubt.

But it is torture when you fear the one you love may be in love...with someone else.

I went home to college on New Year's Day, feeling sick. I didn't know what tomorrow would bring- sunshine, or a blizzard? But I said I would help her move, so I waited to see what would happen.

On January 2nd she said she had everything moved in but would come by on the 3rd for the few things she left at my place. She came over about 10am, and greeted me warmly. I instinctively knew something was amiss, but didn't have the guts to push. We talked, we caught up, and I told her I was sorry about not seeing her, but that Ryan had showed me her ranch, and she went pale.

"What's wrong, Dear? You okay?"

She quickly shook her head, clearing it, and said, "Oh, yeah, everything's fine. What did you think?"

"It looked empty without you there."

"What do you mean, without me there? I was there," she said rather defensively.

"I mean, we didn't see your jeep outside, or we might have stopped..."

"It was inside." That was probably the only truthful statement she had made.

Then, quickly changing topics, she unzipped my pants and started playing with me. I was only semi-hard. She started licking it, and said, "Mmm, someone isn't all that excited. I thought you would be excited to see me..."

"I am, but I want more. I really want nothing more than to bend you over and take your innocence and leave a load inside. I hope you've missed that lately."

"Mmm, I have, Baby, but I can't right now. I got a bladder infection from my parents' laundry and am on antibiotics. And when I go off them, I will be on my period. We will just have to wait."

She gave me what was a lame blowjob on my part. Barely had any cum for her, but I managed to get her sweater off so I could at least play with her tits, and that's when I saw the bruises and scratches.

"What did you do here? How did you hurt yourself?" I asked, both with distrust and concern. Distrust because the warning bells were so loud and the warning lights were flashing brightly, but concern because I DID love her.

"Working with the horses," she said.

"Horses? This looks like finger nails, fingers grabs and hand prints. Darcy, what in the hell is going on?" Time to force the issue.

I should have had this out with her months ago, but the sex had been great. But had the sex been worth the emotional investment? When we first started having sex, I feared every morning I would wake up alone, but looking at her and into her eyes, even though my brain said to run, my heart wanted to stay.

I just couldn't say no.

Her eyes welled up, and she started bawling. Crying about loving me, and how she still talked to the current hired hand, Dakota, who took her virginity when she graduated. She went to tell him it was over with him, but he assaulted her. She didn't mean to, she didn't love Dakota, she loved me, but it just happened, but never again. And THAT'S why she didn't want me to come to her place, because of the stress and the mess and...

I hugged her. I wanted to believe her, but wasn't sure. I just held her, telling her, "Everything will be okay, now."

I didn't know if it would be okay, and I stroked her hair until she fell asleep in my lap. I could wait until tomorrow to see if everything would be okay. Today, she just needed me.

She slept about 2 hours that way, and we talked after she woke up, and I told her to go home. I said I was going back to my parents' house for a few days and we would talk and decide our future.

Cheating on me would be tough to handle, but if she was assaulted that was another whole deal.

I didn't go home but instead went to Ryan's. I explained to him the situation and he warned me to be careful. In the meantime, he helped me with some reconnaissance of this degenerate farm hand, Dakota. In 3 days, we found him with 2 different whores, got pictures of him stealing chemicals to cook meth, and found out how little work he actually did. Then I went back home to college, armed with some information.

She came back into my life. She had made a vow to me that she did not love Dakota and had not willingly been with him since being with me. I don't think that was entirely true, because early on she told me she had a boyfriend, but I was trying my hardest to forgive and forget.

For a month or so, it went okay. We started slowly, and one Saturday I went over there and her roommates said she had to go home in a hurry because her dad had suffered a heart attack.

The distrust crept back in, so I took the hour drive to go by her ranch, and the farmhand's place. No jeep at either place, so I went into town and happened to drive by the hospital. There I saw her jeep- and a beat up truck. So I parked and waited. And watched. Darcy came out, followed by some scrawny guy with bad hair and bad teeth. The Meth Head farmhand. I knew him from my earlier recon.

To her defense, she tried to get away, and he wasn't having any of it. So I acted. I left my car, and with my head down, walked up to them on a trajectory that appeared to take me inside the hospital, but brought me right next to Dakota, where I shoulder bumped him.

"Hey, watch it, asshole, or I see to it you get admitted here," he tried to threaten me.

"Really, YOU, some tweaker with rotten teeth who's trying to beat up a lady?" Then I stood tall, fully facing him. Hoping he would take a swing.

He did.

And I caught his weak right roundhouse with my left forearm, bringing it down between my arm and body, then grabbed it with my right, twisting it, trying to dislocate his shoulder.

"JASON?! Whare you doing here?" Darcy asked in a surprised and somewhat not happy manner.

"This is the guy you've been fucking behind my back, you cunt?" Then he tried to look up at me, and sneered with rotten meth teeth, "She's pretty good, huh? Too bad I took her cherry..."

I hated that word and very few women deserved to be called that. So, left arm still holding his right, shoulder twisted, I delivered a blow so severe it knocked 3 brown teeth out, busted his jaw and gave him whiplash. Then I let his limp body drop to the sidewalk, and for the hell of delivered a kick toward his balls, but missed because he was crumpled. It hit his hip, which wasn't smart, but hurt him worse than me.

"Darcy, are you okay?"

"Yes, I guess? What are you doing here?" She asked me again.

"Your roommates said your dad had a heart attack, I thought I would find you and see if you were okay."

"He's going to be okay. Why didn't you call?"

"I just thought...I mean, I tried..I happened to..." my story was weak and falling apart. The truth of the matter was...

"You didn't believe them? You didn't trust me?" She accused.

Bingo.

"Should I? I did find you, with him..."

"He's the one who found Daddy. He has a right to be here. Now look at him!" Several witnesses had seen the whole thing. 3 orderlies were rushing out with a gurney. And a police officer just happened to be leaving the hospital and the witnesses were pointing my way. I would probably be fine, unless the cop was family of his.

"Darcy, make sure Dakota knows just what in the hell hit him. And tell him if there is a next time, he won't wake up."

"There will never be 'a next time'," she warned.

*********************************

Dakota wanted to press charges, but the cop had video surveillance and 8 eyewitnesses that came forward. Most knew him or of him, and despite saving Darcy's dad, they would have been happy had I killed him, and the police told Dakota so. But warned me to keep a look out behind me. He was a dirtbag and would not come looking for a fair fight next time. About a month shy of turning 21 and being able to buy a gun, I carried mace and a knife everywhere, but secretly hoping for a chance to fight him again. But no more stalking out his place for now. I needed to keep my nose clean.

Darcy and I got back together. Her folks hadn't met me yet, and were not too happy because Dakota was in tough shape and couldn't work, and Darcy's father couldn't work, so one weekend Darcy finally brought me home to meet them and allowed me to volunteer on the ranch, where I met the new hired man, Brock. He was older and had spent 12 years in the Army, serving in Iraq and Afghanistan more times than he cared to recount. Despite our 10 year ago difference, we liked each other.

"Dakota is a real piece of shit but her folks feel loyalty to him because of his family. Their families go back over 100 years and Dakota will never amount to anything, so they help him."

"Do they know he assaulted her, or at least has slept with her."

"I was overseas when she graduated, but from what I heard, they caught them, may have even been fine with it, then he got into drugs when she went to school. I think both families would disown him if it was rape or assault though."

I told him, "I saw the bruises. It was not consensual."

"I hate guys like that. They need to 'be disappeared' when they do shit like that," he said.

Poor grammar, but I new the phrase. To "be disappeared" meant, "problem solved. No trace, no evidence, no body". May be something to keep in mind.

I asked if he knew Ryan and Dawn. "Both cousins of mine, but not related to each other." I thought about it for a second, and he added, "Small towns, local area, everyone is related to someone. I think it is for the best. She would have made him miserable."

Darcy's parents came around to not hating me by the end of the weekend. I had to spend Saturday night alone, but was getting used to that. Her folks would not let us share a bed, but we hadn't been intimate since before Christmas.

Sunday night when she dropped me off, I asked her if she wanted to come inside. The relief that spread over her was evident. We went inside, talked with Ryan. He knew his cousin was working for Darcy's family now. After the 3 of us chatted, we went to my bedroom to be alone. I think we both prayed neither one would have stagefright.

"I really could use a shower first if that's okay," I asked.

"Yeah, you could. Want me to wait or shower with you?"

I really had missed our showers, so I invited her to scrub my back. We showered together, feeling and exploring each other's bodies for the first time in months. It felt like our first time again.

Modestly we covered ourselves with towels and headed back to my bedroom. We stood in the middle of the room, under the light, staring into each other's eyes. I loved to look into those eyes, but they made me weak. Powerless to say no and unable to think clearly.

She said it was over with Dakota and had been for a long time. I was her only love now. So I let her back in, hoping tomorrow I would not wake up alone.

Those eyes and my heart.

I could not tell her "no".

I dropped her towel. She was in my room, and if she wasn't ready I had no reason to be shy about my nudity. As it turned out, she had no shyness either and let her towel fall to the floor also, leaving us both standing there naked under my light.

I just took her beauty in. The faint birthmark on her right shoulder. The 6 freckles on and near her nose. The tiny mole on her left shoulder. The small goosebumps all over her chest. Her light pink nipples and areola that turned brown as soon as I kissed her, nipples pointy and erect.

"Oh, Jason...please..."

I lead her to my bed- our bed- and we laid down together, on our sides, looking at each other. I brushed her cheek, and she rolled over onto her back.

"Jason, I need you."

"Darcy, I need you, too."

I entered her waiting tunnel and she arched her back, and gasped, "Aaauuooooghhh, I need that, Jason. Fill me up."

We got into our rhythm pretty quickly. We picked up speed, and I was kneeling, thrusting into her. I looked into her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes, and saw something Inhad been looking for but had never really seen.

Unconditional love. Submission, but not in a bad way. She was submitting to me in total trust. She knew I was a lover who would not hurt her. She loved me, trusted me, and was totally giving herself over to me.