My Hermaphrodite Boss

"Do whatever you like. I'm better off being unemployed than having someone like you as my boss."

"We'll sue your cute ass for stealing."

"On what grounds?"

"I have last month's network volume data. Apparently you've spent two hours surfing on sites that were not job related. Stealing company time is still stealing."

"That's bullshit, everybody does that. I bet you do."

"So we'll make an example of you."

"You're bluffing." I nodded my head. "This won't hold in court. I heard about a company that tried to do it. It violates my right to privacy."

"You're probably right, but still I bet you'll find a job in no time with the reputation you'll get."

"I'll take my chances." I took my shoes which I threw on the floor when I messed with the remote.

"Your little brother will lose his job too."

That stopped me, "What's he got to do with it?"

"He's working on our eastern branch but has applied for transfer. I'll take him in and fire him within a month, all because of you."

"I don't believe you."

"Oh, do believe. I have the means and the motive. You'll lose your girlfriend too. Did you know Sue is an illegal alien?"

"So?"

"So, I have some good friends in high places which can make her deportation swift."

"You're a she-devil. That's extortion."

"I'm a business woman who likes to come prepared to a business meeting."

"I'll go to the police."

She had her lovely smile again. It made me sick. "No one is going to believe you. I'll just say you came to my place uninvited and threatened me after I've told you we're closing your project. Come on, Ian, it doesn't have to go down like that. Make your choice, I'll be in bed, waiting."

What on earth did I ever do to the universe to deserve this?