My Initiation

Fitting in nicely with the stereotype, I could tell my Volunteer's penis was bigger than all the other ones in front of us. They were all in various stages of arousal, some fully hard. Mine was flaccid, but it was still obvious he was the biggest. The guy at station 8 had a full boner flat against his belly, but my Volunteer's cock hanging between his legs was thicker and longer. His body was flawlessly muscular, and his entire pubic region was shaved. I did not relish the idea of taking the biggest cock in the room in my ass. The race didn't bother me. I just worried what others would think. I knew none of my fellow Initiates would trade places with my unlucky ass right now.

As they approached, I took a closer look at my Volunteer. I was shocked. I knew him. The same look of surprise crossed his face, and he stopped in his tracks. Neither of us said anything for two seconds, and then he proceeded, coming to my side and putting a hand on my shoulder. He leaned in and spoke close to my ear. "It's your call, I'll tell them if you want."

Things were less rigid after the Volunteers entered. They interacted with their Initiates and talked, the Initiates just couldn't move much. They were at the mercy of Volunteers. So it was normal for my Volunteer to talk to me, but he did it quietly because it was against regulation for a Volunteer to know his Initiate. This was strange considering anyone could be a spectator, and we could know other Initiates. I guess the government wanted to at least not make us be molested by someone we knew. That was probably a good thing. I knew I only had seconds to decide, so I just nodded slightly. My silence told Lamar to proceed covertly and break the rules. "I'll take care of you," he said.

Lamar was a year older than me, and we had been neighbors and friends through middle school and the early part of high school. We were friends because our parents didn't tell us black and white people couldn't be friends. We had each others backs and knew each other so well. But he had left the neighborhood a couple years before. I didn't know why, but I knew it wasn't for good reasons. We never spoke again. I suppose amid this stressful ritual, I just preferred a friend do it to me, but also someone I didn't have to see again every day. Lamar was perfect, minus the gigantic cock I had to somehow accept into my body.

"Why couldn't you have a little dick?" I joked. He laughed.

He massaged my shoulders for a minute, then ran a hand down my back until one finger pressed just at the top of my crack. Then he patted my butt cheek and squeezed gently. "You look good," he offered. "I'm attracted to you. I'm sorry you don't have these urges yet."

Lamar had been taking care of himself. He was chiseled and had grown a lot. I estimated him to be about six feet and three inches tall, a few inches taller than me now. He was always smart, and despite today's racist attitudes, I could understand how he had gotten a job, been successful, and been chosen to be a Volunteer. Then he was gone from my field of view, behind me now to take his prize.

I felt him gently pull my cheeks apart. I was already pretty exposed, but this made my hole even more accessible. I felt the breeze more in my most sacred spot, and I shivered with nervous energy. Then he let me go, and one hand rested on my bum. I could look backwards just a little, and he stood to the side slightly so I could see him. He was pumping his cock, and I saw it grow even more until he was fully hard. It was impressive, and it scared the hell out of me. "Oh god," I said and nervously laughed.

"You got this no problem," he said.

I saw Lamar lube up. He was generous with the stuff, then he squirted some of it at the top of my crack and let it ooze down into the relevant part of my anatomy. I felt a finger between my cheeks, and he pressed against my hole and ensured the area was coated. I knew that he was not allowed to finger me or do any sort of foreplay like that, nor was he permitted to have me give him oral stimulation. It was supposed to be a quick deal. Come in, lube up, fuck me, cum inside me, and leave.

I looked to my left and a few people were already getting fucked. The guy who had erupted in cursing earlier was doing that shit again, and I watched with mild amusement as his Volunteer, wielding one of the smaller cocks in the room, easily shoved his cock in and began fucking him hard. The Initiate immediately stopped struggling once he was impaled and just laid there, spent and defeated. Another Initiate was complaining now while already getting fucked, whining about the pain. I wanted to yell at him to shut up, because his complaints were distracting. Admit it, move on, and be a man about it. There's nothing you can do, so just endure two minutes of discomfort.

Then he was there. A large, blunt object pressed directly against my butthole. He just held it there for a while, in no rush. A gentle push. It did nothing except push my entire anus in. He repeated it several times with the same result. Then he got the tip in, just enough to open the outside of the hole a bit, but the muscles inside were clamped shut. Lamar took his time, and each rocking of his hips opened me a bit more. Now the tip was pressing and opening my muscles a little, but the head was not fully inside. I could feel how wide his head was even through it wasn't in yet, and I began to stretch and burn. "Too big, no way it will go." I muttered.

"It will, trust me," he coached me. I looked around. The guy next to me began to groan, and I saw that his Volunteer was trying hard to insert his penis. The Initiate appeared to be clenching up and trying to stop him, but his fight was hopeless. His legs and hands were pinned, and his feet were turned inward a bit, making it even harder to clench his cheeks together. Sure enough, his struggle ended and the sex began moments later.

I looked to the other side, and it seemed I was the last person to start. All the other Initiates where deflowered and on their way to insemination. As if reading my mind, the faceless announcer said, "Let's go, number three. Begin copulation."

Lamar leaned down and said to me softly, "I'm going to penetrate now. The first push is the hardest."

It really burned now. I had opened wide all the way around his head finally. He paused for a second to let me contemplate my fate, but Lamar was eager to finish the conquest. He slid in without much difficulty now that I was breached. His cock drove in deep. "Aaaaahh," I moaned softly as my body opened up to him and for the first time to anyone.

He immediately pulled his cock back, slapping my ass rather hard on the withdrawal. "Whoah, slip that right in there," he said. He left the head inside me and drove forward again, this time all the way until I felt his thighs against my cheeks. His gigantic cock was balls-deep, and my days as a backdoor virgin were behind me. I felt something weird and unexpected amid my humiliation. Was it pride? I had taken the largest dick in the room no problem. I mean, it hurt like hell, but I had done it.

He rested inside me for a bit before proceeding. "That feels amazing," he said. Then he began to tunnel in and out. He was slow at first. I could sense his skill as a lover. He was in control, and the pace and range of motion were consistent. Every withdrawal ended with the head of his cock wedged between the tight muscles at the front. Every thrust ended with him buried to the hilt with his hips flattening my ass cheeks. He finished the thrust in a gentle manner, not pounding into me and damaging anything.

"Insemination on station seven," the announcer said. I didn't know the announcer would tell everyone when each individual act was complete. But I looked over, and sure enough his Volunteer looked spent, leaning over his Initiate for a moment before pulling his cock out.

I was still fighting Lamar, but I couldn't help it. My body was on autopilot. I had no experience relaxing, so my muscles clamped down and held his cock tightly in a futile effort to expel it. This continued for at least the first few minutes. A few other stations were announced as complete. Lamar was taking his time. I sensed he could climax faster. Why was he dragging this out? But I knew the answer. It was the same as me with a woman. He wanted it to last longer because he was enjoying it.

That voice again. Two more stations were complete, their Initiates inseminated, their minds turning towards a permanent change in sexual orientation.

The act I was enduring didn't feel right, and it was humiliating, and it hurt the entire time. But a transformation overcame me about five minutes into my Initiation. Lamar was fucking me harder now, but the pain wasn't as bad. Finally, my body began to respond as it should. It must have been completely obvious to Lamar that I was a virgin. I could not relax and let him in easily. It wasn't that I was nervous, it's just I didn't know how. But now I could fell my internal muscles better and realized to a certain extent that I could control them. I did a kegel movement a couple times and felt myself squeeze him tighter. I bore down on him like I was trying to expel him and realized this actually relaxed everything and let him enter me easier also. I felt the muscles reflexively fire and try to contract against his intrusion, and I was able to concentrate hard and turn them off almost completely.

The change was noticeable. "There you go, you're getting the hang of it, buddy." Lamar said. He began to fuck me harder. I felt most of the internal resistance gone now. His hands gripped firmly at my hips, and I heard the smacking sound as his hips flattened my butt cheeks now at a faster pace.

He kept encouraging me, saying great things about how my ass felt to him with occasional dominant slaps to my behind. That feeling of odd pride grew. I didn't want to do this act to begin with, but at least I was apparently doing okay at it. Maybe I didn't know anything about fucking a man, but my dedication to fitness was paying off to appeal to him. Being a good friend to him was paying off perhaps with his ability to connect with me emotionally. I was fucking better now and had control over how at least I responded to him, and the coupling was working well. I was cooperating, and it didn't feel like a rape even though I didn't have a choice in my submission. The humiliation at being taken by a big-dicked black man was turning into pride as I watched my lame fellow initiates whine next to me as they were plundered with smaller units. I also remember how unfairly Lamar was treated growing up, and undoubtedly today also. I was glad to help lift him up by having him be the one to do my Initiation. I was glad I didn't deny him.

I realized for the first time in my life I enjoyed submitting to someone else's control, even if I would prefer it to be with a woman. Being forced to do it took away my uncertainty and opened my mind. It was good to let go. In and out he probed. He gripped my hips assertively, and I felt my whole body move as he pulled me in to meet each powerful forward thrust. His cock was doing something inside me now; stimulating something deep in me that was feeling good. I couldn't deny it. My cock was rubbing the horse now as he moved me to and fro. I suddenly realized I was erect. I was enjoying this!

Then it ended abruptly. He left his cock buried in me all the way for a few seconds without moving. Then he pressed it in even harder, his hips flattening my ass cheeks. He was leaning over more, and I felt his breath on the back of my neck and heard his grunts. I couldn't feel his fluids inside me, but I knew it was happening. I assumed his loads were proportionate to his testicular size, and my insides were likely being flooded.

Then he was still, his cock left inserted. I looked around and realized Lamar was the last person to cum. The room was silent now. Everyone was spent and defeated. They had to rest in position for a certain amount of time to ensure quality fertilization. "The Event has happened," Lamar said softly. I just nodded. "That was amazing. You honor me by choosing me to perform this service. There's more I want to say, but I can't do it here. Come see me after your change when you're ready and let's talk," he said. I didn't fell like I had any choice at all in the matter and thought it was strange that he said I honored him, but I guess since I could have raised the flag that I knew him and got a different, whiter Volunteer, I did sort of choose that at least.

"Station three complete," came the loud voice.

I felt his cock slowly pull out. Something squishy followed him out and dropped to my scrotum. I wondered if it was lube or semen. Then he was gone, out the way he came, leaving me with the rest of the men still locked to our stations. I rested my head and wondered what kinds of changes were already beginning inside me. So far I felt the same. A few more minutes went by, then a couple workers came in with hoses and started spraying us off from behind. The entire room was built like a bath house, with a tile floor leaning slightly to strategically placed drains. Lubricant and various bodily fluids were sprayed off of us and then off the floor, as if to wash away evidence that this terrible ritual had ever happened. It hurt when they hosed me down. My balls had been wedged underneath and behind me somehow in Lamar's final thrusting, and it wasn't exactly a low-pressure jolt of water.

The announcer started up again, congratulating us on going through the ritual. The invisible binds were suddenly gone, and we were free to stand. There were no guards anymore, just the ladies handing out towels. We were told we were free to go back to the locker room and leave at our leisure. We weren't treated as prisoners anymore, just regular people. And why not? The government had imposed its will on us already. A cascade of physiological changes had started in our bodies, and there was nothing we could do to stop it now.

The exact mechanism of what was happening inside me was not publicly known. Chemical receptors of some kind at the cellular level in me were bathed in his semen and sent signals to my brain. The chip located in my frontal lobe somewhere was programmed to send messages to my brain as long as this happened when I was of age, beginning a physical transformation inside my head that would turn me gay. The changes would begin immediately, although I would be able to function normally and might not notice anything. The changes would accelerate and be "hardened off" and made permanent by first sleep.

I didn't spend more time than was necessary at the facility. Everything felt loose "down there," but I wasn't dripping anything after whatever had oozed out already with Lamar's final withdrawal. My muscles seemed to have closed off enough. I desperately wanted to go to the bathroom and eliminate the semen from my body, but that urge was trumped by my desire to leave the place of my Initiation as soon as possible and put the experience behind me.

I took my time getting dressed and thought all the other men had left, but then I heard a subdued greeting and turned to see the man that has been at the station next to me. He followed that up with, "Can I ask you something?"

I nodded warily, and he continued, more enthusiastic now. "Did you go through the change before today? You were doing a great job of taking that fat cock, and you seemed to like it."

I gave him a cold look. "No." I thought it was inappropriate for him to be talking to me at all at a time when we needed space, especially about this. But I cut him some slack, since he had gone though it as well, and everyone dealt with stress differently. "He was very skilled. He made it so it wasn't that bad."

"Sorry," he said. "I thought for sure. I was bred three weeks ago by a friend that I trusted. It made today so easy."

"You enjoyed it?" I asked. Now I was genuinely curious.

"It was fun. But my guy was, you know," he said and paused, extending his pinky finger. He was complaining that his Volunteer had a little dick. "I'd have given anything to be getting plowed by that handsome, hung stud that you got. I've wanted to try a black guy for a long time, you just don't get the chance for that often. You are so lucky." Then he was gone before I could tell him that I would have loved to have received a smaller penis.

At home, my parents didn't even talk to me; I just got a loving nod. They sensed I needed my space. It took several trips to the bathroom, and even then I wasn't sure if all the viscous fluid had been purged. I had weird feelings of anger and revulsion at myself, but they slowly faded over the next few hours. I took a long shower, and then admired myself in the mirror. I took a closer than usual look at my penis. I was always happy with it, because while not as huge as Lamar, I was well above average. But now I admired not only the size, but enjoyed looking at the shape also, and I enjoyed just feeling it in my hand. I had a nice semi going, not hard, but it still felt full in my hand.

I admired my physique from the front for a few minutes, appreciating how I looked and all the hard work that went into that. I turned and looked at my ass. The muscles were full and strong; I definitely didn't have a feminine look. My butt changed shape slightly as my stance chanced, the muscles rippling beneath the surface. The sides had concave spots when I flexed from all my strength training and other athletics. I spread and bent over just a little, and I could barely see the hole concealed within my muscular cheeks. I wasn't put off or anything like I normally would be. I was drawn to it, and felt a weird attraction to my butt. I was confused. I knew the change had begun at this point. I had an urge to step out of my own body and sink my cock into my ass. I wondered hopefully if I would lean toward being a "top" as most converts did. I viewed that as less of a departure from my previous state.

I added a bit more light and bent over in front of the full length mirror and took a better look at the tight hole between the cheeks for the first time in my life. I spread and noticed the cute, crinkled flesh radiating outward from the hole in the middle. It seemed so small and tight, the lines converging into a tiny point. I couldn't believe Lamar's enormous rod had fit inside there. But as I looked closer and spread the cheek more, I noticed a thin, vertical line at the center. It opened a bit when I spread my cheeks, and I wondered if it looked that way before my African plowing. "Good job, buddy," I said as I remembered Lamar. I had certainly been fucked more thoroughly than most anal virgins. My butt was still a little sore, but I didn't feel loose anymore.

I awoke the next day feeling just about like any other day. The muscles at the entrance to my ass were a little sore, but like a hangover, the pain was gone by lunch time. Only my pride was hurt permanently. I had been taken against my will, a victim of state-sponsored homosexual rape. Oddly, my resentment over the incident was fading, and more surprisingly, I didn't care that it was. I didn't even think the experience was that bad now. Lamar did enjoy it, after all. What the hell is the matter with me? Where's the fire? I put the thought out of my mind.

I left my parents' house after lunch and headed over to Beth's. She had called in the morning in tears. We talked on her porch with semi-privacy as her dad mowed the yard. Single family homes were less common these days, and their family had to move pretty far from the city to afford the place.

"I can't believe it's done. Why did you let them do it? You know I wanted to be with you!"

I softly corrected her. "I didn't know. You've been upset with me." I didn't add that it was because I had been an asshole for a while now, and had slept with her friend, and not to mention a bunch of women that weren't her friends. That was all true. Now I felt shame and a bit of annoyance. There was a double standard here of course, but I didn't make the rules. Beth had been passed around a lot at school, adored by so many men with so few women to compete for attention. But she expected me to be loyal. But I wasn't only her favorite fuck. We'd been friends since we were in diapers. She had wanted to save me. She came back from vacation a day late. What was I to do now?